This has NEVER happened to me before ...
....in all the years I have been working as a dancer. I have worked in Mexico, San Francisco, the Silicon Valley, Houston, New Orleans and now the valley part of LA, CA.
Have any of you ever been accused of being racsist?:O
Last night two different customers in different ways, bluntly accused me of being racist towards Latin people.
One of them, chastised me for talking to a regular who is a middle-aged, Caucasian professional (accountant?) and dresses the part. After he tipped, this Latin guy just went off, "You don't like Latinos! You like those Yuppie, Biff ,Mo^&er Fu)*^ers!!" I just told him that he was a friend and I liked him regardless of what color he is.::)
However, later that night, I was dancing on the second stage and this Latin guy who really didn't speak English, was speaking record speed Spanish to me. I understand, but I don't speak fantastically well. I told him in Spanish that he spoke too fast and that I couldn't understand so could he slow down. This guy lashed out at me and said that "I was denouncing my heritage, that I was a liar because I am dark haired and I knew very well what he was saying".
I had another person translate for me. I told him yeah, I am brunette, however, I am part Iranian/British/American, so my Spanish is textbook"
The guy was so clueless because he had stuck his huge foot in his mouth.
Sorry this is so long. It is just upsetting to me. I have never been a racist person. Yet it is only since I have worked in LA, that mostly Latin guys have come to me and blatently say that I HATE Latinos!!
Damn! Tell me I'm not attractive, you don't wanna dance or even that you think I am "bad" for doing what I do.....but racist???
It's such a horrible thing to be accused of. Funny, I have never had an Asian, East Indian, Afro-American or any other person that isn't Caucasian make such an accusation.
Has this ever happened to anyone? If so, how do you handle it?
Sorry so long.
PS The spellcheck is not working for me. I apologize for my errors.
Cheers,:cheers:
Corey
Re: This has NEVER happened to me before ...
I haven't started stripping.....yet.........
However, I know where you're coming from! It's definitely a terrible feeling to be considered racist!!! YOU know YOU, and you KNOW you are NOT! My story is different, but I still thought I'd share.
There was this guy he used to always come down to the club, he was afro-american. He was cute, and pretty nice, a little cheesy, but a nice guy.....who apparently had this huge crush on me. Anyways, when I didn't want to go out with him, and then he found out I had started dating someone else(caucasian), he phoned me and was so angry! For one, I had no idea just how "into me" he claimed he was. I guess he was just hurt, but he started yelling at me and saying that I was just afraid to date a black guy! I was so insulted and insisted that that really was not true. But obviously, there was no convincing him!
The only other time this has happened to me was when a cab driver(afro-american) tried to "pick me up" when he was driving me home. He didn't set the meter, and he was asking me if I just wanted to "drive around" because he "wasn't used to having such a pretty girl in the back of his car". I didn't care WHAT color, race, whatever, even SEX, he was, it creeped me out! He said I was just afraid of him because he was black.
Corey, I don't know what it is! I honestly think it's just HURT EGOS! Like I said, YOU know you're not racist, and you did absolutely NOTHING to portray that you are! I'm sorry that you were accused of it, though, it really is a nasty thing to be falsely accused of. Just keep doin' what you're doin';)
Re: This has NEVER happened to me before ...
Wow, its never happened to me from Latino guys because I won't back down and be passive to them.
Sounds like they were drunk, and assholes to boot.
I think I got a "is it because I'm black" whine once when a guy at the club asked me out, but I just ignored him....
They were just trying to make you feel bad, hold some guilt over you. Don't let it bring you down and affect your attitude toward latino customers in the future and you will be fine....
you know in your heart if you are racist or not and that is what matters.....
Re: This has NEVER happened to me before ...
It really does hurt my feelings. I have been getting a lot of Latin custys lately who ask, "Whas' up? Dont you like Latinos?"
Now, there are some regs at my club who are Latino and they are cheap and don't tip. I know this. I still pass by and say Hello, but there is no way I am wasting my time w/ them. I never say anything about their race. There are others that are very nice.
Thanks for the support. I'll get over it. There has been a lot of scary stuff going on at my club for the last three weeks or so. I had taken a week off to chill out and visit family. The day I came back, the day manager, the janitor and two customers were robbed at gunpoint and then "locked" in the freezer. This happened five hours before I came into work. Luckily, the freezer is more of a cooler and the door is permanently opened, (the lock is jammed) and the day dancers would have showed up within the next 15 minutes.
It has been strange since then. Sort of like an on going "full moon" that refuses to go away:(
Cheers:cheers: ,
corey
Re: This has NEVER happened to me before ...
This is pretty sad, but you'll get that from folks of other ethnic backgrounds, so don't worry about it.
Re: This has NEVER happened to me before ...
Corey, I've experienced similar treatment from Mexican men before. I've been told that I'm not proud of my heritage because I don't speak Spanish. They just assume that I'm hispanic even though I'm not.
Re: This has NEVER happened to me before ...
Anyone who accuses you of being generalizing and being discrimanatory (Which is what racism is) on the basis of one moment or incident is simply being a hypocrite.
I know it's not as easy as that to just dismiss it...but I hope that thinking like that helps.
Re: This has NEVER happened to me before ...
I have never had a latino say anything tome about it, but a lot of black men have asked me out. I dont go out with any customers regardless of there race or color, but when I tell them that Iam not interested they always want to know if it is because they are black. Actually, it is because I already have a bf. lol
Re: This has NEVER happened to me before ...
I think some people accuse others of racism because they know it'll make you feel guilty or they think it'll make you give in.
I think there are other people who are just so miserable that they are looking for racism everywhere... and if you search for something like that you're bound to see it all over the place, even if it isn't there.
Re: This has NEVER happened to me before ...
I feel it was the way in which my so called racist attitude was pointed out to me.
I have had black men ask me," Have you dated a black man", "Do you like black men"?...et. However, those questions are not accusing me of being racist. The questions were put in a positive or neutral position.
But to just come at me and make the statement, "You don't like Latinos" is accusatory, mean and wrong.
But it's another day. I go back to work tonight and if someone says that to me, I'll see,"yeah, you're right".}:D
Cheers:party:
Corey
Re: This has NEVER happened to me before ...
Corey, anyone who works customer service of any kind runs into this and its annoying to say the least but if you know in your heart you arent, dont sweat it. I worked customer service for years and can recall many incidents like this and Im as far from racist as you can get.
Re: This has NEVER happened to me before ...
LOL That's pretty harsh! Almost any Mexican that comes into my club assumes that I'm Mexican too, just because I have dark hair (until Wed. bwaahaha). I've never been called racist though, because I can speak spanish, being that I was born in Madrid, Spain. To the general population, that puts us in the same "Latin" category, but we're really as different as night and day (European- South American). It's amazing that how much more "accepted" one is the better one can communicate with a type of people!
Re: This has NEVER happened to me before ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by sandi_g
It's amazing that how much more "accepted" one is the better one can communicate with a type of people!
Exactly!
I always speak spanish with latin customers (not all of them are Mexican btw!) It doesn't stop some of them from being jerks, but it really helps open the lines of communication. If you are having a problem, and have lots of Mex customers, maybe you should take a conversational spanish course?? Just a suggestion.....
Re: This has NEVER happened to me before ...
I do speak conversational, textbook Spanish. Just not the rapid fire slang stuff, this guy was throwing at me. In fact, I am one of the only non-Latin dancers who actually makes an effort to speak w/ the Latin custys in their language.
That is why I was so upset, because I do make the effort. It was busy that night and you know how it is....you can be there for all of them all of the time.
Anyway, thanks for your support and tonight was a much better vibe:)
Cheers:party:
Corey
Re: This has NEVER happened to me before ...
Boy, this hits close to home. I have gotten looks of rage, hate, disgust, surprise, etc. from Latin men AND women in and out of work because I am frequently in the company of white men- I am a typical looking Latina. But you know what? It's the people, not the color. Spit nails if you have to, to defend yourself.......it's just the easiest way to get under someone's skin, to call them racist. It worked for OJ Simpson, huh?
Last night I suffered a crude come-on from a Peruvian man- he thought digging his foot into my leg was a good way to get me to come back to his hotel room with him. I told him to "Make like a gentleman..." in Spanish. He fled.
The only color I see is green...tee hee.
Re: This has NEVER happened to me before ...
There is only one color in dancing, green. Guys need to understand that. I, for one, don't go to the clubs looking for dates. I go looking for money. I'm happy to rent my time while I'm at work. I don't care what color the customer is, just so long as the money is green and it flows my way. If it isn't or doesn't, I'm moving on to a new customer. Just call me a capitalist.
Re: This has NEVER happened to me before ...
This thread begs the question...
are you racist if you won't date outside of your race?
Perhaps in a way, but I don't necessarily think that's bad.
Thoughts?
Re: This has NEVER happened to me before ...
Haven't read the rest of the thread yet, but I had several black guys accuse me of being racist, when I definitely was not being so. I seriously think it has a lot more to do with their own insecurities, than what is really going on. In both cases, I tried to discuss it whith them, but both times it really seemed like they were being insecure. Happened so long ago, I can't remember the details, but it probably had something to do with who I asked first for a dance. I usually go by eye contact, but it doesn't matter to someone looking for discrimination against them.
Unfortunately, I think a lot of guys go to SC's because they feel they can take out their frustrations on us. Don't take it personally.