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feeling of impending doom...
okay everyone... last night at work, I sat with a gentleman visiting from VA on business. He was incredibly smart, told me he had degrees from USC and Harvard (and I don't doubt it). He was well-versed on a variety of subjects, so I know he wasn't totally bullshitting me.
Well, he began to start on how "beautiful and smart" I was and what was I "doing in a place like this?" Asked this question often, I explained to him as I do everyone, that I am working through school, and will continue to do so for the next three years of law school. He told me I was "better than this" and "too brilliant for this place".. blahblahblah. I retorted that it wasn't a matter of being too good, in his opinion, to dance (whatever that is supposed to mean) but that dancing was a great way for smart girls to achieve their ultimate goals (because we can work minimal hours and devote maximum time to other things like school)
He then asked how much money I needed monthly to pay my bills and what would it take for me to stop dancing. I just sort of laughed it off, then he proceeded to pull out a wad of $100 bills. He then spent the next thirty minutes asking me how much it would cost for him to get me out of the club for the night, go to dinner driving seperately to "discuss intellectual topics" and then go home. I truly believe that he was just a rich old man wanting to take a pretty girl to dinner and have some company. He put $600 in my garter to cover my night...
I lied and said I would meet up with him.. and I did not. But I did go home early to my boyfriend....
something about this whole situation is very unsettling to me and I can't put my finger on it. I woke up this morning with a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.. like something was telling me something bad was going to happen at work tonight (btw, the man is in town until fri morning...so he could show up at the club tonight) I chocked it up to just feeling guilty about taking this dude's money, and then my boyfriend calls me and says "I just have a bad feeling about something.. like something bad is going to happen today. Be careful."
Needless to say this totally freaked me out and I have decided to not work tonight. what do you all think about this? I know it was a poor judgement call on my part, and it definitely won't happen again... and sorry this post was so long.
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
that was my last 600 dollars...I'm so alone now....
I don't get guys that say things to strippers like "You're better than this, blah blah..." what the hell, YOU'RE IN THE SC TOO!! If a SC is such a lowly place, WHY ARE YOU THERE TOO!!??
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
I say always trust your instincts.
BTW - I hate it when guys say the "you're too good for this" BS too.
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
Trust your instincts. Stay home and have a nice night. This could just be you feeling guilty but you never know. Furthermore, you can never tell what some dude who flashes a bunch of cash is about. He could just be damn good at playing smooth, and once he got you outside the club no telling what might happen. Always play it safe.
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
Well he very well could be an undercover cop and he wanted to see if you would take the bait. That happens in tampa.Or he could call the club tell them what happened and demand his money back. Either way I dont agree with what you did. You should of just said we can talk about intellectual things here this is my place of employment and for 600 I will talk however many hours. But that didnt happen. I dont know what to tell you but I would probably stay away from work and see what happens when you return.
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
yes i know... it was a bad call on my part.
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
I forgot to mention that last time I felt this anxious/paranoid feeling, I was standing in line at walgreens and the customer in front of me pulled out a gun and robbed the store.
Before it happened though, the hairs on my neck started standing up, and I instinctively got out of line and walked to the back of the store.. just feeling like something bad was happening. Then that.
freaky.
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
Wait, you edited your post...you originally said you went to Outback to meet him and he wasn't there. Now your post says you blew him off...what happened? Something's not right in Denmark....
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
ok for clarification... that was belle... not me, our names are very close!
But anyway Belle, im surprised you did it! Wow, i would be afraid to go back to work as well. Hopefully he will just figure that you were not what he thought you were or something similar?
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
*hugs* Whata dorkass. I'm always amused by the other professions guys recommend to me, has several say "you should be a model!" oh, right. the best was "you could move to NYC and go into acting! it really isn't that difficult!" Phhhht, because there aren't enough pretty girls in NYC trying to get into acting.
Anyway, hopefully it'll all blow over. Good luck.
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
Why is there some pit in my stomach too??? I say no dont go back to work tonight. You will thank yourself later by not being so stressed. Its hard in those situations where its the 600 and bail on him or be a nice person and just say no. But, in all honesty I would take the money....wait...infact some guy gave me a 100 bucks once to meet him for "dinner" (sucker). OK he deserved it. But, I just hope nothing bad happens and he doesnt go psycho on you. Besides, you have bouncers and managers to help you out. I hope.
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
Always, ALWAYS trust your inner vision. It is NEVER wrong!
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
I would imagine that it would make you feel somewhat cheapened. It's one thing to have guys tip you for dancing for them but to have an outright offer like that just sounds like you can be bought. I had a guy I used to date who used to just tell me to quit my job and he'd take care of me. It just didn't feel right and made me feel like I had no power and could be bought. Don't get me wrong, I love a man with money, but not when they act like you are at their beck and call because of it. Don't listen to someone telling you you're in any way less of a person for working as a stripper. I think you have more guts than most girls to be able to do it. I sure don't have the guts. And yeah, he could be a cop too trying to get something extra. Maybe you can make something up about why you never showed up if he comes back and just offer him his money back.
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
I'm glad you listened to your intuition. I was in a similar situation, but it was just a rich old man trying to set me up for exclusive access to my company and poonany. It was flattering but sad- no amount of cash would offset the drama he would bring with him if I took his $$ and apartment, and it would have bitten me in the ass- women have been sued by men who "kept" them after the situation did not turn out to their liking.
IMO, if you had gone to work, he would have shown up, made a scene, and probably gone to management accusing you of setting up a FS date ("why else would she accept six hundred...") Be careful. He might pop back up at a later date and try to hold this over your head.
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
Quote:
Originally Posted by tampadancer
I chocked it up to just feeling guilty about taking this dude's money
Let's see, $600 for your time seems rather inexpensive to me, particularly since he spent most of the time talking about his own education and trying to impress you. Sorry, you charge for that. Fair enough.
I'm amused by these dopes who think that flashing a roll of $100 bills is going to get you to fling your shoes over your shoulder and follow them right out the door. "Oh, you have a lot of money? Wow, I'll follow you! Money certainly wins out over my loves, passions, boyfriend, private life, choices, freedom, intelligence, education..." How insulting can a guy possibly get?
Send the dope back to Harvard. He didn't learn enough the first time.
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
''Wow, I'll follow you! Money certainly wins out over my loves, passions, boyfriend, private life, choices, freedom, intelligence, education..." How insulting can a guy possibly get?''
OMG....Ill be thinking of that the next time it happens to me!!! It's sooo true, very good point
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HELL NO you should NOT give his money back. You should NOT feel bad for receiving some of his pocket change. Thats the way the game goes. They try to get as much as they can, and we give as little as possible. Its a big fucking negotiation. Thats why we ALL feel SO much pressure. Theyre always trying to get more than we are willing to give - and we are always trying to get as much money as we can without doing anything for it. Its a fucking business, a fucking hard business, and you came out on top. Dont worry about HOW it happened. Yeah the hustle of it all can get to you sometimes. You probably just feel bad because youre feeling like you ripped him off. Fuck that. If you look at it from a business standpoint, you will not feel any guilt - you will feel a sense of triumph, in a way. Just know that you came out on top because HE was stupid enough to think he could use flattery and cash to get in your panties. And under the guise of "intellectual conversation" - ha!
And WHO wouldnt take it? Take the money if he offers it. There were NO strings attached. Who cares if you stood him up. Hes not stupid - he KNEW there was a possibility of getting stood up - he probably was arrogant enough to think he could persuade you to go. He probably really thought he had you convinced. Good. Arrogant bastard. He obviously has the money to spare, if he will throw $600 just to have a CHANCE to sleep with you.
dont feel bad because he spent a little pocket change to try to sleep with someone. I would pity the poor bastard- and go shopping.
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
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Originally Posted by tampadancer
Needless to say this totally freaked me out and I have decided to not work tonight. what do you all think about this? I know it was a poor judgement call on my part, and it definitely won't happen again... and sorry this post was so long.
What's so complicated to understand? Be honest with yourself and it's all clear and simple.
A guy with (relatively speaking) a lot of money = security
Your BF = someone you can relate to emotionally/sexually
So what's the big deal? On the one hand you feel attracted to security. On the other hand you are drawn to relating/sexual attraction. This is the way we people are. Torn between conflicting drives.
You want advice on what to do? Simple. The mature/older gentleman will worship you and take care of you (though he may have a wife or GF who comes first). The younger BF is young and may or may not be there for you but he can't help but be who he really is. What's that? A young guy with a lot or urges and wants - only you can say if you and he are long term compatible.
The mature/older gentlmen probably doesn't want a long terrm relationship but will treat you well in the short term. The immature/younger guy may settle for a relationship, but is still trying to find the best possible deal he can swing (yea, if he finds someone hotter probably your going to be replaced).
It's up to you to choose and make either work - or not over the long run.
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
Xdamage, she's not asking if she should start a relationship with the rich guy. She's asking about her instinct. She's torn between the potential of something bad happening because of her lie to the guy, or throwing it to the wind.
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
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Originally Posted by Katherine
Xdamage, she's not asking if she should start a relationship with the rich guy. She's asking about her instinct. She's torn between the potential of something bad happening because of her lie to the guy, or throwing it to the wind.
Well see that's me. I assume people say what they mean and mean what they say. I figured that at least some part of her was entertaining the notion of seeing this gentleman outside of the club ---
"I truly believe that he was just a rich old man wanting to take a pretty girl to dinner and have some company. "
Or maybe not. Maybe she just lied for the money and that awful feeling in the pit of her stomach is "guilt"? Or maybe it's not even that. Maybe there is no guilt there about lying and deceiving the old man about how far things would go. Maybe it's just fear that the guy will come back and make a scene and get her in trouble with management.
Whatever. Be honest with yourself about in the moment where you entertaining seeing him, or where you lying, and are you or are you not feeling guilty about lying. There is nothing wrong with being a guiltless liar ... just be honest about and don't imagine yourself to be a saint.
Then again some SC customers are just weirdos and don't mind blowing a few hundred on a beautiful girl and indulge in the whole "see me outside the club" fantasy knowing full well that it isn't going to happen, but they try anyway. When it doesn't, they are not really all that disappointed anyway.
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
belle.. where did you go?
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
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Originally Posted by TigersMilk
...infact some guy gave me a 100 bucks once to meet him for "dinner" (sucker). OK he deserved it.
LOL He was a sucker if he paid up front ::) Shame on him. OTC (outside the club) should only occur if both parties understand whats going on and are totally OK with it.
In the case of Tampadancer (not Tampafldancer) it sounds like she got a bit greedy in this situation. She walked away with some good money for minimal work but now is worried about the offal of that event. I hope this guy (whoever he is) will write it off as experience and go away. Things get pretty wierd when significant dollars are involved.
There are a lot of dancers on this site who have been down that road and understand the pitfalls. Perhaps they can pass along some good advise.
FBR
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
There are lots of previous threads about the pros and cons of 'sugar daddy' s. Obviously this guy was trying to prove something (like 'I'm rich and you're not), and was trying to achieve something (my wild guess he's a control freak). My personal opinion on the subject is as follows.
A 'professional' dancer maintains a clear separation between her 'job' / dancing persona and her personal life. A 'professional' escort maintains a clear separation between her 'job' and her personal life as well. A dancer or escort for that matter who does not maintain this separation, who willingly allows customer 'relations' to bleed over into her personal life, is inviting big time problems.
A dancer who begins by allowing customer 'relations' to bleed over into her personal life, and then later tries to reclaim her personal life and exclude the customer from it, is asking for even BIGGER problems ! Furthermore, a dancer who deliberately allows customers to believe that they have a role in her personal life, knowing full well that they have no intention of following through on such implied promises but are merely using those implied promises as 'bait' to extract more money from the customer, is not only unprofessional but unethical as well.
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
I'm a little concerned about where she is. No replies and even tampafldancer who apparently knows her, seems not to have heard from her....
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Re: feeling of impending doom...
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Originally Posted by Melonie
Furthermore, a dancer who deliberately allows customers to believe that they have a role in her personal life, knowing full well that they have no intention of following through on such implied promises but are merely using those implied promises as 'bait' to extract more money from the customer, is not only unprofessional but unethical as well.
You have a sense of morales and stick by it even if it means some potential loss of money. That's cool and probably uncommon. There are a lot of hustlers who in similar situations will take advantage of any situation to make more money, screw morales, screw honesty, and screw the other person.
But then on the flip side a lot of guys put themselves into the positon of being a victim. Some guys just have to learn the hardway. Guys go into a club and pay cash for attention from a girl who probably wouldn't give them her dirty toilet paper outside of the club (let alone a moment of her time), the know full well that the girls don't really like them, yet within 2 minutes of having their dick rubbed and being told BS they are thinking there is something real between them. At that point a hustler can (and many will) take all their money by playing on their belief that something more is going to happen.
A nice old guy that just wants dinner and company? Maybe. Or maybe he is nice old guy with money that wanted dinner, company, and (the possibility of) sex with a hot younger woman.