Re: i cant speak japanese!
Do you have enough resources to purchase a basic "learn japanese" kit? There must be some shops near-by that have english-japanese (and vice versa) kits so you can learn the basics ? After you have the basics down and the phrase " I only know how to speak basic Japanese - I do not speak fluently " down (saying it in Japanese, of course) then you will be able to go from there.
I'm thinking this is just a case of you were ill-prepared for Japan. Did you bother to learn ANY Japanese prior to you going over ? If I visited a foreign country (especially to work), I would endeavour to learn something of its native language(s) so that I wouldn't find it so hard (like you are doing now).
This is a simple case of someone not doing her homework and now it is biting you in the butt. In any case, you might want to contact Mermaidnz (if you have not done so already) to see how she "got over" the English-Japanese hurdle as such.
Re: i cant speak japanese!
Here's some suggestions which might be practically useful, at least some of them I hope:
- Ask some of the other dancers who don't speak Japanese how they deal with the problem, or if they aren't too helpful, try to pick it up by watching them closely when they are with Japanese customers.
- The J customers do not expect you to speak Japanese, at least not much. If they go into a gaijin strip club, they probably speak English at least a little, or think that they do. So, you have to try to make it easy for them. Speak clearly, pronouncing each word separately and fairly slowly (not so slowly that it distorts the word though). Use the simplest, most basic words and simple, short sentences. Do not use slang and don't drop the ends of words (as is common in Australian-English; it's "university", not "uni" etc). Try not to interrupt your sentences with things like "uh...ya know" or "lemme think now" etc...very confusing for someone who does not speak the language well. Make sure you are talking loudly enough that the custy can hear you over the music and background noise in the club. It is a lot harder to talk this way than it sounds, especially if you have had a couple of drinks or are tired or whatever, but it can make a huge difference in how easily a J custy, also possibly drunk etc, with just a little ability in English can understand you. It is probably worth practising talking this way at home or whatever.
- You are not likely to learn enough Japanese to really flirt effectively or to sell private dances without putting serious and long term effort into it, but the J customers will appreciate it a lot if you make an effort and learn just a few words. And if you learn a little you can get them to teach you more words while you sit with them, a good ice breaker. A very important topic to be able to discuss in Japanese is the price of your private dances; they will probably be worried about a misunderstanding if you give them the number in English only. Fortunately, Japanese is a very easy language to speak at a basic comm level; it is extremely difficult to read or write though, so forget that unless you are willing to put in years of intensive study.
- I am not sure if this is practical in the club, biut it ought to work well on a dohan and is certainly a useful trick in general communication on the street, in stores and general situations: In Japanese public education, all students study English for 2 or 3 years in their early teens (maybe 12-14 or something like that); however, they mostly study reading and writing, not speaking and listening. Also, they get some practise in reading English because it is used a lot (for some reason) in advertising, as you have probably noticed. As a result, there are many Japanese (though far from all) who can communicate fairly well in English by "passing notes" even though they can't speak or understand spoken English at all. It is a good idea to carry around a little pad of paper and a pen for this purpose. Write in neat, printed block capital letters to give the best chance of them being able to read it. As per above, short and simple sentences, basic words, etc.
- Get a phrase book which has not only the English and phoneticized Japanese words in roman (western) characters but also written out in Japanese characters. Then, even if you cannot understand each other's words, you can play the game of pointing at phrases in the book that both of you can read.
- There is a book called MAKING OUT IN JAPANESE by Todd and Erika Geers which is supposedly a phrase book that tells you how to get and talk to a Japanese boyfriend or girlfriend. It is sort of cute and funny and covers bedroom talk and flirting and breaking up and so forth, but towards the beginning (first half or so??) it covers lots of general socializing in colloquial Japanese slang and "street talk". You can pick up some good lines from this book, although the custy may get the impression that you speak much better Japanese than you actually do. Also, some of them are far too rude to use with a customer...so it is a bit dangerous...probably best to check out any phrases from this book with a native Japanese speaker friend before using them in the club.
-Ww
PS - I will be there in a couple of weeks; maybe I can drop by the club and teach you some basic flirting in Japanese!
Re: i cant speak japanese!
sorry this ones late,
say A-no stress the no but and stretch it out a lil... that generally means UM UH..etc so instead of stalling just say ano.. and they should understand your not too sure of yourself.
say skeviy, kinda sounds like skivvy, that jumper thing people wear, its a short fastish word,and means skanky,slut,diry etc. say this before a dance,and the customer will assume hes getting a naughty girl..lol some guys dont like it, ie shy businessmen etc, but the loud ones you read as being there for the idea of sex, works like a charm
compliment them, say KAWAII, like hawaii but with a K, means cute.
o-pie is boobs,manco is pussy,chin chin is penis, usefull sometimes, also using o-key (meaning BIG) infrount of chin chin gets a lil laugh and sometimes a tip or show :)
saying "watashi wa anta no koto ga totemo suki desu" means i like you alot, works for the customers with a bit of cash.
watashi wa means I
anata means YOU
suki means LIKE
desu means QUESTION/ ISint it? its just the ?mark really.
its easy to use there words, plus a few hand actions to get your point across, they DO understand basic english tho, they just pretend they dont, cos they are not confidant, but if you show your confidant at speaking really bad japanese they should open up a lil lol.
to be honest, i never learnt a word of japanese before travelling there, but studied spanish at school, so a basic understand of sentance structure was enough.
oh god i hope all that made sense....lol youll be fine :)
Re: i cant speak japanese!
DAMN GIRL. no need to be so hard on her!!!
not everyone can be bothered learning a whole foregin language just for a few months!! most customers there are english speaking, but alos many with the big bucks arent. the agents say you dont need to know jap, whihch is all ass, but as ive learnt the agents lie about whatever they can to get a girl there.
it HELPS to know jap, but it definatly doesnt hinder all that much, nor is it a bad thing. many japs like the idea of being your japanese teacher,and like girls who cnat speak fluently.
sushi doll, its no big deal, just learn a few basic words that seem important to learn, if you can get a lil dictionary, that MIGHT help.
OH one more thing, i found this really useful.....get a lil note pad and a pen or two, that way you and your customer can draw the things you cnat explain lol, this one was always great fun :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldCoastGirl
Do you have enough resources to purchase a basic "learn japanese" kit? There must be some shops near-by that have english-japanese (and vice versa) kits so you can learn the basics ? After you have the basics down and the phrase " I only know how to speak basic Japanese - I do not speak fluently " down (saying it in Japanese, of course) then you will be able to go from there.
I'm thinking this is just a case of you were ill-prepared for Japan. Did you bother to learn ANY Japanese prior to you going over ? If I visited a foreign country (especially to work), I would endeavour to learn something of its native language(s) so that I wouldn't find it so hard (like you are doing now).
This is a simple case of someone not doing her homework and now it is biting you in the butt. In any case, you might want to contact Mermaidnz (if you have not done so already) to see how she "got over" the English-Japanese hurdle as such.
Re: i cant speak japanese!
Quote:
Originally Posted by mermaidnz
say A-no stress the no but and stretch it out a lil... that generally means UM UH..etc so instead of stalling just say ano.. and they should understand your not too sure of yourself.
"eto", pronounced "eh toe"...with the "toe" a bit drawn out, is another word/sound with the same function in Japanese.
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compliment them, say KAWAII, like hawaii but with a K, means cute.
It is a bigger compliment in Japanese than in English, at least when applied to a woman. For example, "beautiful" is considered a higher compliment to a woman than "cute" in English (ususally), but the reverse is true in Japanese.
Quote:
saying "watashi wa anta no koto ga totemo suki desu" means i like you alot, works for the customers with a bit of cash.
watashi wa means I
anata means YOU
suki means LIKE
desu means QUESTION/ ISint it? its just the ?mark really.
The word "desu" is the verb "to be" or "is". It becomes a question if you had a "ka(h)" sound at the end...or, more informally, a "neh" sound. Adding "ka(h)" at the end transforms any statement into a question in Japanese. Also, the "u" at the end of "desu" is virtually silent, one of the very few unpronounced sounds in standard Japanese (there are regional dialects in which many other sounds are dropped).
Quote:
to be honest, i never learnt a word of japanese before travelling there, but studied spanish at school, so a basic understand of sentance structure was enough.
Mer had some really excellent club vocabulary in her post, and the spanish is very relevant because the basic sounds, syllables, in Japanese are very similar to those in Spanish (or Itallian). If you read romanized (written in western characters) Japanese as though it were Spanish/Itallian in a very flat tone with relatively little emphasis or accent, it produces a very clear and understandable accent for most Japanese.
-Ww
Re: i cant speak japanese!
WW, ok, so i dont REALLY know what im talking bout in japanese, i thought thats what it all ment..lol...
im definatly gona start doing night classes in japanese now tho, in auckland, even if i never go back there, id like to just hold a simple convo with japanese friends, and get a cute lil japanese student :)
something else i fprgot to say....if you are with vodafone, go into vodafone live, click on english, then scroll down to the english dictionaries, subscribing to them costs about 300yen a month,and they are full of lil phrases and dictionaries, i found them really useful to pull out and look up things while at work ( cos carrying a dictionary around just looks silly!!)
Re: i cant speak japanese!
Quote:
Originally Posted by mermaidnz
WW, ok, so i dont REALLY know what im talking bout in japanese, i thought thats what it all ment..lol...
Oops...did it come across that I was criticizing too much...not what I meant at all. I think you had the question thing a little messed up, maybe just remembered wrong, but basically I thought it was great and really practical stuff for suchidoll or any other English speaking dancer working in Tokyo. Including some essential vocabulary that you won't easily find in most books or other resources for beginners!
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im definatly gona start doing night classes in japanese now tho, in auckland,
I'd suggest seeing if you can find some classes that emphasize conversation and do not spend much, if any, time on reading & writing. It is relatively easy to pick up practical conversational Japanese and incredibly hard to learn to read and write at a level that is at all useful/practical. Unfortunately, a lot of classes are sort of based on the assumption that all the students want to become completely proficient in the language, so they put the most effort into the hard part...the reading & writing. I tried classes a few times and finally gave up and hired a private tutor to teach me what I actually wanted to learn.
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( cos carrying a dictionary around just looks silly!!)
LOL, you should see me sometimes. I have been known to go into places, not gaijin strip clubs but commercial sex places of various sorts employing all or mostly Japanese women, carrying a whole bundle of dictionaries, phrase books, a pad of paper, pens and so forth...all to help me communicate (and flirt) with the lady of my choice (or theirs). Once a sort of startled young lady, my hostess for the hour, looked at all my stuff and said (in Japanese), "Wow...are you a teacher? Is this a test?"
-Ww
Re: i cant speak japanese!
lmao i can just imagine how they react to that!! heh this scary gaijin comes in carrying books...
nah i didnt think you were ripping me to pieces critisizing me..oh no, course not *cough couch* !! lol joking..
i was told the desu was like the question mark. mehh..
hmm yeah, conversational japanese is the way to go, but im keen on learning some reading,basics tho. since i got back to akl, ive notcied the huge asian popluation ( mainly chinese, but many student aged japanese) and now i feel all affiliated or something.lol i guess it makes them feel at home too knowing some gaijin take the effort for them.
Re: i cant speak japanese!
Quote:
Originally Posted by mermaidnz
i was told the desu was like the question mark. mehh.
I think I have it right, at least as far as "proper" Japanese goes, but since I don't trust my memory completely, I checked:
http://japanese.about.com/library/weekly/aa102101a.htm
However, whoever told you might have been using, or talking about, some current hip/slang way of talking. There seems to be a lot of that in Japanese...and it can be very confusing...and a lot of it involves the ending on the end of sentences.
One syllable can change the whole meaning. Like, adding "sho", pronounced like "show" can change the meaning from "I am doing X" to the suggestion "Let's do X (together)"...which can create huge misunderstandings. My most hilarious example was a female friend/colleague of mine who was getting hit on by some Japanese dude in a bar in Roppongi. He was bugging her, and she tried to tell him "I'm leaving now" (Ima, ikimasu), but somehow she was confused or a little drunk and it came out as "Let's leave (together) now" (Ima, ikimasho)...quite a different implication! She couldn't figure out why he seemed so excited and pleased!
Anyway, speaking of questions and Japan, you might find this SAQ (Seldom Asked Questions) re all sorts of stuff Japanese interesting/amusing:
http://www3.tky.3web.ne.jp/~edjacob/saq.html
And oh, btw, it took me foooreeevvvveeerrr to figure out the ano/eto ("um...uh" words you explained above). It nearly drove me crazy. I heard people saying them constantly and in all sorts of contexts, short/simple and clear words, but yet I could not find them anywhere in any of my books or dictionaries etc. I spent many hours trying to puzzle it out...not asking because I was afraid it would look stupid. And, of course, when I finally did ask...it was pretty clear the person I asked thought that I was a complete idiot.
-Ww
I want to learn Japanese!
I looked at this thread which is very helpful. I'd like to know which programs with audio CDs are most effective. I realize that I could hit up the bookstore and buy what's on the shelf. I did that to learn Tagalog and discovered much of what I bought was a complete waste of money.
I have a group of Japanese regulars. I never thought it could happen to me, a small half-Asian when there are beautiful blonde bombshells in the club. They are staying for 6 months. Their American coworker said that they "really, REALLY like" me. They come in once or twice a week and find me if I am there. I want to give them a little more hospitality.
"Making Out In Japanese" is hilarious, Wwanderer!
Thank you for any suggestion you can give!
Re: I want to learn Japanese!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizette
I looked at this thread which is very helpful. I'd like to know which programs with audio CDs are most effective.
I am glad the thread was useful because I don't think my response is going to be of much value!
Basically, I have not used any audio aids in learnng Japanese...except briefly a long time ago, and I don't recall much about them; they weren't very good and probably aren't available now anyway. The best introductory level book I know for learning basic conversational Japanese is called Japanese for Busy People; it is quite good and is, I think, the long standing favorite text for courses aimed at teaching a bit of practical and immediately useful spoken Japanese (as opposed to beginning a long term study aimed at mastery). I wouldn't be surprised if it is now available with CDs or whatever as an audio aid, but I don't know for sure. Anyway, unless you can get some better informed advice than mine, that is what I would try first.
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I have a group of Japanese regulars. I never thought it could happen to me, a small half-Asian when there are beautiful blonde bombshells in the club. They are staying for 6 months. Their American coworker said that they "really, REALLY like" me. They come in once or twice a week and find me if I am there. I want to give them a little more hospitality.
Who knows for sure, but I think that your efforts in this direction could be extremely rewarding...and, yes, I mean financially rewarding. A lot of Japanese who find themselves abroad, especially for extended periods, feel rather isolated and unwelcome...at least subconsciously. It is largely cultural, I think, in that the casual-friendly way Americans often treat people feels a bit rude and disrespectful when seen through Japanese eyes, so to speak. If you go out of your way to make them feel special and welcome, I'd guess that there is a good chance that they will respond very positively indeed. Good luck with it!
And, btw, this does not have to be entirely a matter of learning to speak a bit of Japanese. There are other small things you could do that would show that you regard them as special customers and are interested in "meeting them half way", culturally speaking, that might make a huge impression on them. Let me know if you are interested in more specific suggestions.
Of course, I don't know for sure. It all depends on them and what they are looking for. They could also be after an "exotic foreign experience" (by their own standards) and might find you less interesting if you act and speak a little bit more Japanese. So, best to feel your way carefully ahead.
Quote:
"Making Out In Japanese" is hilarious, Wwanderer!
It sure is! And a lot of Japanese think so too. I have shown parts of it to Japanese friends here and had them laughing so hard they were doubled over with tears streaming down their face (of course, they were pretty drunk too!). You might consider bringing your copy to work with you and showing it to your new Japanese fans as something to have a giggle over...a good ice breaker. Of course, you will have to be careful that they understand that you are joking if you read them some of those lines! But, again, just the fact that you have the book and are showing it to them will probably make a big positive impression.
The Lonely Planet Japanese Phrasebook also has some pretty hilarious sections on romance, socializing, sex, drugs and such. In fact, some of it is so daft that it is a bit frightening to imagine some poor unsuspecting gaijin trying to use it!
-Ww
Re: I want to learn Japanese!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wwanderer
Who knows for sure, but I think that your efforts in this direction could be extremely rewarding...and, yes, I mean financially rewarding. A lot of Japanese who find themselves abroad, especially for extended periods, feel rather isolated and unwelcome...at least subconsciously. It is largely cultural, I think, in that the casual-friendly way Americans often treat people feels a bit rude and disrespectful when seen through Japanese eyes, so to speak. If you go out of your way to make them feel special and welcome, I'd guess that there is a good chance that they will respond very positively indeed. Good luck with it!
And, btw, this does not have to be entirely a matter of learning to speak a bit of Japanese. There are other small things you could do that would show that you regard them as special customers and are interested in "meeting them half way", culturally speaking, that might make a huge impression on them. Let me know if you are interested in more specific suggestions.
Of course, I don't know for sure. It all depends on them and what they are looking for. They could also be after an "exotic foreign experience" (by their own standards) and might find you less interesting if you act and speak a little bit more Japanese. So, best to feel your way carefully ahead
Yes, I'm interested! Thank you!
I think these men are homesick. Whenever I am abroad for over a month, regardless if I speak the language or not, I become ornary and demand that people speak English or I'll go crazy. I miss my native language!
I'm certain that they are itching to talk to a woman who understands some Japanese. They've already gone through the blonde Barbie doll dancers. They've had their fun. I've given them fun too.
I think it's that I will sit with them and play charades. Do they care about the blondes anymore? No. The blondes haven't shown an interest to entertain them.
I'd love to learn Japanese, not just for stripping, but because it'd be awesome to add another language to my collection. I'll be illiterate. As long as I speak it, I am satisfied.
Re: i cant speak japanese!
I bought Pimsleur's Japanese Instant Conversation. 10 CDs, no books, $35. It's perfect for me as I don't care to learn how to read. It's fun! It's technique is to immerse you. As a sufferer who learned 3 languages on top of English, I highly recommend it.
Japanese for Busy People is full of workbooks, lesson plans, and homework. Blech. I'm too lazy for that.
Re: I want to learn Japanese!
Sorry it took me a couple of days to get back to this...some offline activities have kept me busy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizette
I think it's that I will sit with them and play charades. Do they care about the blondes anymore? No. The blondes haven't shown an interest to entertain them.
I'll bet that you are exactly right. While learning to speak some Japanese is a great idea, for multiple reasons, I'll bet that it will make as big or bigger an impression on them if you treat them more like customers are treated in Japanese places. The extent to which you are willing or allowed (by your club and fellow dancers) to do so I don't know, of course, but I can describe how things would work in a Tokyo commercial sex establishment, and you can judge for yourself how useful/relevant it is for you:
The basic idea is to be much more modest, obsequious, subservient and generally a "suck up" than would be normal in an American club. Sort of imagine how customers are treated in some hyper-expensive boutique with an exclusive celebrity clientel to get the general picture. Let me hasten to add that this "the customer is our honored guest, a virtual visiting god" sort of attitude has nothing particular to do with strip clubs or commercial sex businesses in general. It is just the way customers are treated in all contexts in Japan, be it a restaurant or a taxi or a travel agent or whatever; this is doubly true for luxury service type businesses. Moreover, the specific things I will mention below would be done in any commercial sex establishment from a pure hostess club (just socializing and flirting, no nudity, no touching at all) to a simple and plain brothel. Now to specifics:
Greet these regular customers very enthusiastically as soon as they arrive at the club if at all possible. In Japan, you would shot "welcome, wonderful to see you!" at them as soon as you saw them (unless you were with another customer).
Similarly, see them off regretfully with many sad good byes and entreaties to return soon when they leave. Walk them to the door. In Japan, you would probably stand just outside the club door waving goodbye until they disappeared out of sight.
Entertain them any way you can while sitting with them; I think you already have this down with the charades. But think of anything new you can. Tell jokes. Play drinking games...or other games. Take pictures of them or you sitting with them and give them signed copies. In Japan, you would always keep their glasses full if there were a bottle at the table or call for a waitress to take their next order if there is no bottle. Hand them their glass so they don't have to reach or bend to get it. Make toasts frequently. Clap and giggle enthusiastically when they say or do anything which they appear to think should impress or amuse you. Generally be "the life of the party".
Do your best to get them silly drunk...but not sick drunk; this is a major art of hostessing in Japanese establishments.
Sell them private dances (of course), but not too aggressively or persistently. Always thank them repeatedly and as gushingly as you can manage for the dances they do buy.
Buy them little presents, called omiyage...an important part of Japanese business eittiquete, from time to time. These can be quite cheap but should have a sort of personal souvenir quality as possible. Things which would seem childish or silly to most Americans will be perfectly acceptable. Wrap the presents and make a big deal out of presenting these omiyage and of responding to their thanks or appreciation sweetly but humbly. Depending on their financial means, you might receive VERY MUCH MORE VALUABLE omiyage from them in return (e.g., an envelope stuffed with cash) at some slightly later date, the next time you see them typically. But, in any case, they will probably give you something in return...which you should make a big deal out of receiving, of course.
Compliment them, even when it is a shameless and absurd exaggeration, but never brag about anything about yourself. Moreover, deny compliments. E.g., "No, I'm not beautiful; I'm very ordinary." Etc.
Anyway, you probably get the idea by now. I realize that this might not "go down" easily for you (or most western dancers) and would probably be a bit too "over the top" to really work in a US strip club if you tried to follow the above too literally, but I kid you not that it is a fairly accurate picture of how various types of Japanese "hostesses" treat their regular customers...and if these guys really are as homesick as you suspect, even giving them a bit of that type of treatment might pay off big.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizette
Japanese for Busy People is full of workbooks, lesson plans, and homework. Blech. I'm too lazy for that.
Oh, oh...you wanted the JAPANESE FOR LAZY BUSY PEOPLE series I guess. ;)
-Ww
Re: i cant speak japanese!
Hee hee.
Wow. Thank you. I'm going to be a geisha! Topless and with a chem engineering degree ... okay so it's different.
I was raised Filipino. If my father hammered anything into me, it's that feminity, manners, and respect are of the utmost importance. The Japanese culture is much more polite than that of the Philippines. Though, I am thankful to know hospitality.
I missed the perfect oportunity to offer omiyage. I worked on my birthday and they were there because it was one of them was having a birthday too! On my head was a pretentious tiara, which they found wildly facinating. It would have been awfully polite of me to offer it as a souvenir.
What are common items for omiyage?
I'm certain that they will come in next week. I hope they enjoy listening to my American accent in Japanese.
Re: i cant speak japanese!
I've always found it tacky to leave an existing customer to hustle someone, give a dance, and then return. I feel like I am presenting myself as damaged goods.
When they are in, no one else gets my attention. When I am on stage, I do not touch other customers.
They stay for hours, where as the average American customer leaves after one hour. I hustle them for dances quite agressively so that I earn something that evening.
Would it be improper to offer my company for a rate? I think that they'd rather drink and laugh than undergo the horrible, terrible, frightful experience of dances and leave their friends for 30 minutes.
I offer rates for pleasant customers.
I am not certain how it works in Japan. I wouldn't want to offend them. As for their money, they have it. They spend $1000 on liquor alone, so their American coworker says.
Their American coworker translates what he can for me, which is little. They tend to talk about sex with obsenities. Were I to understand them, would they still do this?
Re: i cant speak japanese!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizette
I'm going to be a geisha! Topless and with a chem engineering degree
Yep, a geisha...the perfect female companion for a guy who wants to relax, unwind and party. That is basically the ticket, and if you think of yourself more in that mode than as a dancer/stripper, it may work better and be more what they are looking for, etc. And, btw, they won't think it odd that you are well educated or sophisticated, etc. Many Japanese women working in the mizu shobai (nightlife world) do so as a second job and may have lots of education, accomplishments, successful "white collar" professional careers and so forth...but that does not change the way they expect you to act when in your hostess/geisha role...like a giggly, semi-innocent nymphet, more-or-less.
And, btw, I perhaps should add for others reading this thread that the well known giajin strip clubs in Tokyo don't quite function as I described in my previous post...a bit so but also in a more western style, maybe sort of the average of the two.
Quote:
I missed the perfect oportunity to offer omiyage. I worked on my birthday and they were there because it was one of them was having a birthday too! On my head was a pretentious tiara, which they found wildly facinating. It would have been awfully polite of me to offer it as a souvenir.
Yeah, that would have been good, but how would you have decided which one to give it to? That is one aspect of this scenario I can't quite picture. In these places in Tokyo, I am normally there by myself, but the groups of Japanese men (which are common to see) always seem to have an equal or greater number of hostesses tending to them. How many of these guys are there, anyway? Assuming that you can't (or don't want to) get any of the other dancers in your club to play this game with you, I don't know how to advise you to "share yourself" with a group of them. However, my instinct is that you should treat them very equally...and in the specific case of the omiyage, you should not give one of them something without also giving the others the same thing or something similar. Unless, maybe, if one of them is clearly "the boss", with the others working for him, then it might work fine to single him out for special attention. Also, my guess is that if things somehow play out where one of them appears to be your favorite to the others, they might stop seeing you altogether to avoid having any bad feelings in their group. (Never underestimate the importance of wa, group harmony, in Japan.)
Quote:
What are common items for omiyage?
It could be nearly anything. A particularly nice piece of fruit or some sort of fancy sweet or a neck tie or a handkerchief (which almost all Japanese men carry and use, btw) or a key chain or maybe a pen...some little gift shop knick-knack, maybe with a picture of you, or your club or a local landmark in/on it or a calendar or a club t-shirt or a baseball cap... Food and drink are quite popular gifts in Japan because everyone's house/apartment is small, so something that doens't have to be kept forever is good. There is a whole segment of the economy, whole businesses and such that basically do nothing but produce and sell items to be used as omiyage. Those (true) stories you hear about Japanese Dept stores which sell US$50 apples (that's for one or two apples!) are all about omiyage; no one buys them for themselves. And, for major occasions, people sometimes pay truly serious money for omiyage, but that is not relevant to this case.
And to be honest, I have never felt like I really got the right thing, in the right price range etc, when I have presented a Japanese friend or colleague with an omiyage. It is a highly developed social institution in Japan, and they all seem to know exactly what sort of gift should be given to whom for any specific occasion, but I can't figure it out for the life of me. However, and this is what saves me...and will save you, Japanese do not expect foreigners to "get it right" and usually seem to hugely appreciate the effort and thought if you give them any omiyage at all.
-Ww
Re: i cant speak japanese!
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Originally Posted by Lizette
Would it be improper to offer my company for a rate? I think that they'd rather drink and laugh than undergo the horrible, terrible, frightful experience of dances and leave their friends for 30 minutes.
I offer rates for pleasant customers.
You mean that they should pay you a certain amount per hour (or whatever) you spend with them, right? That would be a perfectly normal, actually the conventional, system in most Japanese places...so I don't think it would bother them at all, and you might well be right that they would prefer it to going off for dances. A lot of Japanese mizu shobai places operate on exactly such a rate system, but the big difference is that these rates are normally set (often posted) and collected by the club/bar/salon or whatever. Normally, your hostess never says a word about money. I guess you couldn't work it that way, but maybe that wouldn't bother them so much anyway. Another tricky part might be getting it over to them what they should expect for the rate they pay.
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Their American coworker translates what he can for me, which is little. They tend to talk about sex with obsenities. Were I to understand them, would they still do this?
Yes, probably, especially if they have been drinking. It is not necessarily that they are out-of-control drunk but rather that the standards of behavior when drinking with friends are very different from the norm. You are allowed to get away with a lot and use drink as the excuse. It is a major way of relieving stress here, as I understand it.
But I am not really sure of the answer to this one; you/we are getting beyond my understanding of Japanese group night life behavior, so to speak. And, obviously it depends on the individuals involved; although they have a relatively homogeneous culture, it is not as though Japanese are all stamped out identically in some factory...lots of different personalities come into play.
Anyway, if you can't understand them, how do you know that they are using a lot of obsenities...or even that they are talking about sex?! In any case, when Japanese women are acting seductive/sexy, they seem more inclined to act innocent and girlish than aggressively sexual or vulgar...so, even if they are being obscene, you may not want to follow suit. That's my guess, anyway.
-Ww