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OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
Long story, so hope ya have the patience!
Quick back history:I am 31, have never been in a phisical fight before, was raised in a very middle-class home with no abuse, am a doll-house style dancer, also usually non-confontational. Have been at this club for 11years ("home" club) been "fired" once in an argument with junior mngment.(didn't stick) and other than that,no blemishes on the record. I drink at the club, but never to the point of intoxication or embarrasment; never had to be taken off the floor or carried out or anything like that. You get the idea.
So I go in to workTues. night,and one of my girlfriends who used to dance with me years ago here decided she wanted to come in with me-so of course the manager (new GM; really cool!) was very happy that I had brought an old-school girl back,etc. I pay $40 tip-out and get on the floor. Up on one of the side sections are 2 guys and a girl. I know both of these guys from the club scene around town and the tanning salon I used to work at; whenever they come in the club, they are the kind of customer that I just hang out with, maybe have a drink with, get them a girl they like to dance. So the big one has a lady with him; he CALLS ME over to introduce me to her as his fiance. So of course I am very nice and genuinely glad to meet her. I leave to go say hi to someone else and get a drink. I FINISh that drink (a double) and go back to sit with them. We all start talking (guy, fiance & me) about kids, I tell them about mine, she says she has 2, then tells me she just had a miscarriage. I make appropriate condolences. My girlfirend is sitting with the other guy with them at a table about 3 feet away, so she has heard none of the conversation; etc. She is complaining to me that she can't get a drink because she didn't bring any money and this guy is broke (nice, but broke). We were going to move on,but there was no one to move on to! (REALLY). So I go to the back where I had stashed a small bottle of vodka and bring it out surreptitiously to the couch where I am sitting with guy & fiance. They see it as I put it in the couch. About three seconds later,she gets up and walks out the doors to the front of the club (my instict is going CRAZY!) A minuite later, "____(me) to the office immediately". As I pass the fiance on the way, I stop her and tell her that I hope I didn't offend her by talking about children when she had just suffered a loss. She seemed fine with it and thanked me for saying so.
So I get to the office,and guess what the manager has in his hand. You bet. The bottle I had just put in the couch for my girlfriend. I fess up immediatly and he says it's cool, I like you, just don't do it again. I leave the office and get back on the floor, but I am SEETHING. It only gets worse. I call him back to the office and tell him that I am too upset to work; may I just call it a night and come back tomorrow; this is cool w/him and I get a note. As I am heading to the dressing room, I am called to side stages. Not wanting to leave the DJ hanging, I go and do both of those (4 songs). On the last song I am so angry I could spit. I call the manager over (to the side) and tell him that he needs to fire me-he asks why, I tell him I am going to beat this bitch into the ground. H
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
Crap I was enjoying reading it..post some more!
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
OOps, miss read it...
Sorry that happened.. You'd think customers would stick with the dancers, but I guess she wanted to make herself look good.
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
Hi can you just clear a couple things up for me please? I read your story but a few things didnt make sense. So was it your friend who you used to dance with who ratted you out about the vodka? Or the guy's fiance? If it was your friend, wasnt she just complaining that she couldn't get a drink because she had no $, so wouldn't she be appreciative that you were helping her? And did you confront her? What did she say?
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
I had the same confusion.. I think it's the fiance... Because she ran into her as she headed to the managers office
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
Quote:
Originally Posted by lildreamer316
I call the manager over (to the side) and tell him that he needs to fire me-he asks why, I tell him I am going to beat this bitch into the ground. H
Dang, it sounds like you were chopped off mid-sentence....I hope the fiance didn't go psycho on you and follow you home? :O
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
I keep reading it over and I'm still confused. You seem like you were doing okay and then all of a sudden you're fuming when you get off stage. Who were you going to beat up?
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
oooooh.. i wanna hear the rest of the story..
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
I understood it. Do tell more, this is good stuff.;)
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
Dammit...I've always hated cliff-hangers...
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
Ain't no customer, male or female, worth getting bent out of shape over......whatever the severity of the situation......remember, sc patrons are in YOUR HOUSE........that's right, they are in your place of employment.....they generally shouldn't mean a damn, you are there to work.....
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
Hey!!! I wanna know what happened. Finish! Finish! I'm still confused.
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
Ok sorry-- my comp was being screwy. To clear it up, it was the guy's fiance who ratted me out; I have never met her before.
where was I...oh yes... when I called the manager over to the side stage, and told him to fire me, he (basically) told me he would not (just trying to look out for me; he's a really cool guy). After finishing the stage, I walked (calmly) over to the couple, told the guy it was good seeing him again, looked at the bitch and told her, "let's go." So she followed me outside...and I mean OUTSIDE; I took her out the front door of the (beautiful multimilliondollar) club. Then I asked her what her **king problem was. She proceeds to tell me that I was endangering everyone's jobs by breaking ALE law bringing alcohol into the club,a nd that I could not walk outside the club with my garter on. I told her that as far as I knew I was fired,so it didn't matter if I had my garter on or not,took it off and threw it on the ground,and was getting ready to go into it with her, when said manager and 3 bouncers walked out the door and forced me back in and to go get dressed. I had already called my hubby when I first got called to the office, so he was there to get me, and without futher drama I left. Boucers were apologizing left and right for having to get me out of the club, but I was not of course angry with them for just doing their jobs. I guess the real reason I am angry is because I have been there longer than ANYONE except a couple girls that have come/gone/come back, and I was the one made to leave. I was told later that bitch and co. stayed another hour. My redneck bullshit meter has expired,and I have absoulutely NO PATEINCE for any more of this kind of stuff. You all have to understand that I take the customer service part of my job VERY VERY seriously,and I have never in 11 years been rude to a customer; I have often just walked away from simlar situations.I'm sorry, but I cannot walk away any more. I will not act this extreme every time, but there comes a time when one must take a stand. Lately, I have experienced a number of very rude and offensive things from customers,and have noticed my girls at work having alot of the same experiences (guys just being really rude or judgemental, not nice at ALL). I don't know what is going on,but it has got to stop,at least in my life
AS A side note, I want anyone reading this to realize that I DID/do acknowledge that it was MY WRONG/BAD to bring the liquor out in the first place; here in NC that IS illegal. However, again, after having worked in this environ for 11 years,I know what is a big deal and what is not; ALE does not really mess with us--politics you know. I was compleatley honest with my manager about it, and I hope that is all that was needed. I think we are all adults here. You get the idea.
So, needless to say, I have not been back to work for a couple days; didn't really want to deal with the drama; there is also some animosity started between my man and the DJ on the weekends (who used to be my old fiance's best friend; was a pallbearer at his funeral, ya get the drift) and that would also have been hanging over my head. Now, the only thing I am upset about is that I didn't have a chance to actually beat her ass, and I realized when I got her out front that I was scared shitless.
Yea, so anyway, welcome to the Springer show, G'boro NC edition. I feel good that I stood up for myself, though. I just thought I would run it by some of you all to see what you thought. Please don't be too harsh; I have had a lifetime of backing down from confrontation, trying to be a "lady". Thanks for listening.:P
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
Sounds like you fired yourself. The management gave you a warning, you should have dropped
it. There's worse things that people could have done to you to warrent wanting revenge.
Pointing out where you goofed is nothing, spreading untrue rumors, etc. is something else
and worth fighting for. Everything would have blown over if you hadn't made it a bigger issue.
Anyway, there are plenty of other clubs in Greensboro. But we all get angry sometimes. I'm
sure there are more times when you should have been mad that you weren't. I'm probably
way more used to physical confrontation than you.
At one club they used to complain when I brought in a soda... NOT alcohol... b/c it was
supposedly against 'health code' regulations. In reality, no business want their employees
to bring in stuff they sell... that would be like bringing in McDonald's if you're working at
Wendy's or wearing Old Navy stuff while working at the Gap, etc. Keep the drinks in the
back room. I'll bet you could get your job back if you asked them.
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
myssi myssi; you are missing the point. Of course I fired myself. SO that I could kick her ass WITHOUT THE CLUB BEING LIABLE. Read your bouncer handbook; it's an oft used tactic. I haven't lost my job, unless I REALLY read this manager wrong. The point wasn't that I'm so upset about getting "fired"; I just hope it wasn't too over-the-top; and can't believe that someone so insecure had to bother me so much with her problem!!What she did was PUTRID NASTY CRUEL.She wasn't trying to point out where I did something wrong; she was being a **TCH; she told the front door girl that I was a "nasty slut stripper".She was mad because I happend to know her man, and she was in pain and obviously didn't know how to handle it. Trust me, this sit called for this type of reaction. Women think they can come into topless bars and get upset if you happen to know their men for whatever reason. Because this insecure twit of a woman could not stand that I actually KNEW her man and was NICE to both of them (AGAIN, I pointed out EARLY in the conversation that I was married with a kid; did not act OVERLY friendly or flirty with her man, etc), she wanted to get me fired-from a club I have been at FOR OVER 11 YEARS. To be over dramatic, I took this stand so that she would realize that strippers are people too, and that we are not all sluts who want to *ck her man everytime we see him. I'm sorry, but she thought too much of herself, and just wanted some drama to make her life better. Well,not at MY expense. Yes, she got her drama, but she was about to learn that she was gonna get alot more than she bargained for. THis is why I wanted so bad to grind her face into the pavement; she is just an example of why strippers have a bad name for no good reason. Well, I was about to give her one. She needs to get a life and stop taking her problems out on me--did I mention that she had just had a miscarriage? I think pain like that manifests itself in crazy ways--but that is no excuse for her behavior. AT ALL. I just don't have patience for that kind of mindset anymore, and those kinds of people (aaugh that sounds preachy; sorry) only understand one kind of language.:jekyll-hy
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
Hmmmm...dunno...she sounds like someone who knew a lot about the laws and business dealings of strip clubs. Is she possibly a dancer who you pissed off a long time ago? :shrug:
IMHO, and this is just my observation and HO, I don't think that there is anything that anyone can do/say that would warrant me to risk my job, money, etc for. I've worked places where drama is the only thing the club has going for the other dancers...and I refused to get involved in any way, shape, or form.
Have some women customers pissed me off with their attitudes/etc? Sure...but, it's not about you...it's about them. And, by allowing this one woman's attitude affect you the way you did, YOU created this entire scenario...by yourself.
It does suck, though...and, I AM still wondering...if she's a CUSTOMER, why would she be so concerned about what you actions do for the other dancers? It really does sound like she IS/WAS one or that she is good friends with someone who is... :detective
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Re: A little this about that...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thorn
2) A customer saw you violate the law and reported it to management, as is well within the customer's right to do. So, while you may dislike her for doing so it was YOU that was in the wrong and you got caught. Admitting it to the manager was only half the solution. Realizing you had no beef with the customer who saw it and reported it was the other half.
Nobody likes a narc, man. Tattletales get real unpopular, real fast. I'd have a beef with someone who narced me out, too, especially if it didn't have anything to do with them. If i'm, say, sleeping with some guy's chick and his buddy finds out and tells him, that's one thing, he's just being a bud. If i'm smoking a joint in my backyard and some asshole has the cops walk up on me, problems will be had.
Some shit like that had no bearing on the tattletale, it didn't effect her, and was petty. A pint of Vodka isn't going to be a big deal (and if this thing could be hidden in a couch, it was a small bottle).
Prolly could have handled it better than trying to pounce on a custy in a public place, though. 'Fired,' fired, or quit has little meaning when you add lawyers into the equation. In the future, i'd learn to reel that in. At least while there are eyes about.
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
Sometimes shit happens that makes one not be able to take anymore ! I mean when I first started dancing noone could have ever told me that I would follow a custy to the men's restroom to get my $$. But I have been ripped off before and there is only so much one can take. I don't agree with taking the matters as far as you did but, I can also see where you had ENOUGH ! Please keep in mind you are a mother and your child needs the money you make from dancing for his/her livelihood. Try not to let these insignificant people get the best of you in the future.
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
An assault charge is kind of a bummer, too. If you must open up a can on someone, make sure it's your word against theirs. You don't need 40 witnesses.
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
Quote:
Originally Posted by lildreamer316
... Of course I fired myself. SO that I could kick her ass WITHOUT THE CLUB BEING LIABLE. Read your bouncer handbook; it's an oft used tactic. I haven't lost my job, unless I REALLY read this manager wrong. ...
Of course it's important to vent one's frustration and anger, and this is a great place to do it, but don't make such dangerous assumptions about liability in the process. You could be unintentionally putting the wrong person at risk.
In your story, as told, I suggest you that not only encouraged your own firing, which has some slight liability mitigation effect, but you communicated to a manager of the business prior knowledge of your intention to commit a bad act (a violent one at that), and that getting fired was part of your plan. By doing so you not only subjected the club to increased liability for intentional and negligence torts, you've subjected this manager to personal liability and possibly criminal charges of conspiracy. If the "firing" has any meaning at all, it is to create a conspiracy, proof of premeditation, and to make a failure to take steps to prevent the violence a willfull act by the manager.
Fortunately all is well. No doubt the loss of someone with such passions as yourself would be a poor decision by the club....
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Madcap
An assault charge is kind of a bummer, too. If you must open up a can on someone, make sure it's your word against theirs. You don't need 40 witnesses.
True enough Madcap, not to mention having 40 witnesses will make you have to go before a judge and listen to the DA tell the court you're a stripper, etc, etc.
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Re: A little this about that...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thorn
1) It is always a mistake to bring friends into the club with you. This is work. Socializing with friends is something you do when you are not working. It isn't the main problem here but I thought it was worth mentioning.
Ok--she was WORKING with me; she has WORKEd with me there before. We were not socializing. Please read my post again, and more carefully.
2) A customer saw you violate the law and reported it to management, as is well within the customer's right to do. So, while you may dislike her for doing so it was YOU that was in the wrong and you got caught. Admitting it to the manager was only half the solution. Realizing you had no beef with the customer who saw it and reported it was the other half.
Please see my third post /reply to myssi. I will state again; she did NOT do this because she was such as stickler for the law. I can PROMISE you this. The guys she was with are ppl that I KNOW for a FACT participate in the drug scene in this town (another reason I don't get dances from them; but that is another story entirely). Look, I know my town & my customers; I know who is likely to be vice (in reply to Venus my dear) and who isn't. One of my best customers is a sherrif who works undecover vice. Trust me on this one. As I said, I fully agree & admit that I was in the wrong initially.I'm not even angry about that. It is the fact that she was so upset that I was JUST being NICE and KNEW her man; was extremly nice to my face, and then tried SO HARD to get me fired that pissed me the HELL off.
3) Failing the second half of this equation you allowed your anger to take precedent over your common sense and self-control, at which point you totally blew it. Your manager had been very cool with you. He simply acknowledged your knowledge that it was wrong and said don't let it happen again. You then blew it out of proportion, creating a situation that could have brought the police, an official report, a possible ALE hearing and potential loss of the club's license.
You didn't think. You simply reacted.
I have to be honest with you, if I were the lead security person making a recommendation to club management regarding what was best for club security, or the manager himself, I would recommend you not be hired back. You are too much of a loose cannon.
---But i'm not really fired! Please read my post again....
My advise to you would be to work on your anger management issues and realize what is, and isn't, important when working in a club. Reacting to perceived indiscretions by customers is one of the things that isn't important.
But that is the whole point of me being upset about this and posting. I don't HAVE anger management issues usually. Let's review my posts again: I mention SEVERAL time that this is extremly out of character for me, and that I usually have the patience of a saint, because I am trying to dedicate myself to good customer service. Did you not read my posts, or do you think I am just a self-absorbed stripper who is boasting, and not believe me? I have read many of your posts, Thorn, and listend to you with an open mind; but you really are jumping the gun here. Please reread what I have said, and if it is not clear, please ask for clarification; I would be glad to rewrite if I was too obtuse the first time.
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
Ok I didn't quote correctly, hope you all can tell the difference; sorry
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Re: OK, now I'm officially a redneck dancer....
Stant:
He asked why. (the manager)Oops.