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how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
I've been doing the lap dance thing for like 3 months now, and my earnings are never consistent. In one week, I had a shift where I only sold 1 dance and only walked out with 2 dollars after tip out, and another shift where I sold something like 18 dances and ended up with almost 600. I think my problem is sometimes I get overwhelmed by all the people and discouraged after hearing no 5 times in a row. how long did it take everyone to get comfortable with hustling dances? Any tips on what I can do to make myself more comfortable...or do I just need time? I've noticed that the nights when I am in a good mood and having fun I am selling lots of dances, but if I start getting discouraged my earnings plummet. How can I keep myself in a good mood? I need help!
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
I can totally relate. I think that when you're in a bad mood because you're getting rejected a lot one night, the customers can sense it. You know? Kind of subconciously. And I agree that when I'm in a good mood and selling dances I do a lot better. Just try to smile a lot, even if it's not genuine. A girl that's smiling is a lot more attractive to the customers then one who looks like she's not having fun, so just pretend. Pretend you're auditioning for a part in a movie, and they want you to act like you're having a great time and all interested in the guys you're talking to. Good luck! :)
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
This is probably not the best advice, but it works for some people. Have a drink. I almost never, ever drink at work, but once in a while I just get in a funky mood and a shot helps. I wouldn't have more than one or two though.
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
lol , i just posted something similar I got so many rejects friday night. Talk about having a bad hair day aggghhhhhhhh I didnt wear my hair peice and thought that was why or maybe its was all the black i had on ect. Having larynigitis didnt help because i couldnt talk . I just went in the corner in a chair to regroup my thoughts and think of another plan. Then some guy came in at 11:00 i gave him 9 dances that helped me. I normally make 100.00 an hr and i made 1/2 that night. I think sometimes its partically my fault when I see a group of guys i really have to be in the right mood to approach them. I know a few girls banked friday dancing for every guy in the party I happen to approach the few guys in the group that werent getting any dances just my luck :(. Its not you i get it to lol. Try this walk up to them shake lyour ass and dance lol, smile sometimes i even crawl over to a guy sitting by himself thats always an icebreaker. If i just go up to a guy and just ask him for a dance i will tell you 9 times out of 10 he will say not now maybe later but if you act fun its contagious.
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
Sometimes being silly with dancers or just by myself on stage or on the floor always helped my mood. Im a dork and it would usually attract attention cuz I was smiling doing silly things.
Or I would do an extra hard pole trick (not rec. if your not a pole person) and then smile like it was easy...gets people to look at me. :)
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
This is a hard one. Your earnings can and do drop when you are discouraged because people sense the negative energy you are giving off. Discouragement causes such a nasty downward spiral that is hard to escape. That is why if I find myself in a bad mood that I cannot seem to shake, I leave work early.
It was so hard for me to stay in a good mood on Saturday. I had spent time with and asked nearly every guy in the club if they wanted a dance and all of them said no. People were leaving my stages. One guy told me that my stage performance was just "okay" (and he failed to even look at me as he was talking), and another guy shook his head "no" at me before I even approached him. Then, I was talking to a couple of the girls, and this custy said to both of them how pretty he thought they were and totally ignored me! BUT, when he had the nerve to sit at my stage, you better believe I ignored him. Anyway, I just ate it all up and kept pushing along. I was so proud of myself for being numb to the reactions of others and staying in a positive mood. Later on, I was finally able to draw people to my stages and pretty soon I was being asked to dance for people. And one of my fave guys came in and bought dances from me. When I saw him sitting at my stage, it really cheered me up. It's funny that he told me that he likes me because I'm always so bubbly. If only he knew how hard it was that day to be that way.
My advice is to just give all the negative people the brush-off--ignore them. The second you figure out that they are not interested in you should be the second you walk away and move on to someone else. Smile and concentrate only on those who are interested in you--work on them.;) Good luck--I know it's so hard when no one seems to like you.:(
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
I've noticed that I make the most money when I act like I don't need the money. I think I give off more of a carefree, fun vibe then.
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
Dig out a book on body language from the local library or bookshop. Something like 75% of our communication is non verbal.
There are certain body language gesture a woman makes when she's interested in a man: the so-called courtship gestures. If you can understand them, and do a good impersonation thereof when talking to a potential customer, you may well convince him that you are interested in him personally, rather than just as a source of income.
There's an article called "selling with body language" on the home page of this site that'll give you the flavour. The mirroring and matching being talked about there is a courtship signal, hence it's an effective technique.
When you are selling a dance, you are in effect appealing to the guy's ego. If your "body language" convinces him that you are asking him for a dance because you are attracted to him, then the chance of a sale just went up cos he'll be flattered by the feeling that you "fancy" him.
Phil W.
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
for me, im a shy person anyways so getting out of my shell is the hard bit.but i found a way.
drinking several cans of red bull.lol im not a drinkiner and i prefer not to drink at work, but red bull gets me amped up enough, and somehow gives me this stupid bubbly personality where i dont care if they say no anyways....i do that fri and sat nights, so i usually fit in with the mood of the night, and make a decent amount.
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
I use reverse psychology on myself. Whenever I get turned down for a dance, I think of it as a relief that I didn't waste any more time and am able to get away from the customer who obviously doesn't know a beautiful woman who can give one helluva lap dance when she is standing in front of him. When I am just in a funky or pissed off mood, I go in the back and pull out the pictures of m kids that I keep in my makeup box.
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
Smoke some weed and pretend you know exactly what you're doing. Works for me!
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
I personally wouldnt recommend smoking weed.....did that once and I didnt know wtf I was saying or dancing too that nite...never again to say the least. Nothing bad happened though. Just wasnt a great idea.
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
once i came work and planed just hang out somewere in a coner ,cause i havent working mood at all. i dont know haw come but that night turned for me when i made my most money...
i noticed ,i getting rejected when i believe myself that i am not good enough
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
ohh another thing... make a friend get into costume with you, get on stage together and just be stupid... when your in a costumes youll feel a lil silly, laugh more, and smile more, play up on it more, and custys will think 'wow shes a fun person to be around" and presto. tips and dances :)
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
I think i have just gotten into the mindset where i just think "what's the worst that could happen?" I just keep approaching people, even if the last 3 customers i approached have all GOTTEN UP FROM THEIR SEATS and said they wanted to talk to/watch another dancer. Try to keep in mind that timing is key, don't take the rejection personally, and you will have your day/night at some point. One night, we closed early (12:30 pm), and none of the other girls had made $$ because of the lack of custies. I, on the other hand, had a semi-regular come in who got at least 15 dances from me, I had dances from other guys, and my semi-regular tips well (at least $40) There are other nights when EVERYONE else (besides the 2 dancers who are dancing on stage) is in the back giving lapdances and I am left wandering the floor alone. You WILL have your night at SOME point SOMEwhere. If you keep that in mind, you should be able to stay in a good mood.
Also, even though it doesn't apply completely to what you were saying, here's a quote I thought you might enjoy:
""If everything you try is a sure thing, you aren't taking enough risks. If you never fail, you put a limit on the degree to which you can succeed. In short, the only way to win big is to risk losing.""
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cianna
Smoke some weed and pretend you know exactly what you're doing. Works for me!
I'm a bit of a pot head but I try not to get too stoned at work because it makes me self-concious and anti social. To each there own tho.
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
Yesterday was a weird day at work. There were a lot of bad customers in and the girls were all getting in bad moods. So I decided to avoid the whole thing and pretend I was underage. We have a dressing room for 21 and younger, the girls can just go straight from stage to either the dressing room or lap dance area. So I avoided all of the b.s. and managed to be in truly a good mood when I was on stage. I was able to snag lap dances better than the other girls I think just because of my better mood.
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
I try to remember the 80/20 rule that says 80% of your profit will come from 20% of your clients. ANd you never know who that next cilent will be! So every time I approach somebody, I tell myself, this could be my high roller for the night! AND I pretend like I KNOW he is THE ONE who will make my night.
Doesn't totally eliminate burnout, but it does help keep it in check. Also, I do a littel back-rub hustle for lots of my guys, and I can think about the music or whatever I want while I am standing behind them and my face is hidden form everybody else. THen when I know I have softened them up a little, it is easier to face them again and start the pitch. Even if they don't want a dance, they are usually happy that I made them feel so damn good and give me a tip anyway.
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
This is truly a very hard question to answer.The key is to not letting rejection upset you.Just keep trying,and don't take it personally if they don't want a dance.There always will be good days and bad days,but usually at the end of the week it evens out.
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
You won't make money if guys can tell what a shitty mood you're in. You just have to fake it. In my pschology class we talked about how if you're smiling (even if it's not genuine at first) you'll be in a better mood. Whenever some ass really pisses me off I'll hide out in the dressing room for a few minutes to chill out. Then I go back on the floor with a smile, sit down with a new guy - he'll ask how's it going - I'll flash him a naughty smile & say Fantastic. Unless he's broke I'll usually get a dance & then I'm not in a shitty mood anymore. Just fake it.
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
I tend to count each no as being closer to a yes. So that way a no isn't a negative thing. It's more like: cust: no me: OK good i'm getting closer to the big yes. when you look at success some of the biggest successes heard waaaaaayyyy more no's than yes's but kept going anyway...ie, the chicken soup for the soul guys got turned down a bunch and are now billionaires.
Another tactic i use is to redifine no as meaning simply NEXT!!! If you give no the meaning of something negative about yourself it will drag your mood down.
Before I walk on the floor i imagine myself at the end of the night counting ALL the money i made and how excited i feel and all the freedom it gives me. If i feel my mood dropping i just see that image and let myself feel that excittement and keep going.
Hope it helps!
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
I like the recent ideas of imagery and being "fake." My motto has always been "fake it till you make it." and in this biz, it works 95% of the time. the trick is to fake it, but not make it APPEAR as though you are faking it. (ex. smile with your EYES, not just your mouth)
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Re: how to get comfortable hustling/stay in a good mood?
fallenfaerie84 is correct ;D Faking it with some sincere-ity is the key. Anyone who has read (the book) "Think and Grow Rich" will realise the same.
I also just wanted to state that I liked hustlebunny's suggestion of changing one's perception of the "NO" from something negative to something positive. I must admit that I very much need to do this so the 'hard' nights aren't so 'hard' anymore (esp. since I work the traditionally 'slow' nights of Sunday and Monday every week). Seeing the 'NO' as a "next" and getting me closer to the "yes" I deserve ($$$) is something I'm going strive to do from now on.
;D