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going out with customers
Ok, so I finally took that step where me and my customer see each other outside of work. There is no sex, love, or realationship talk, and he is very polite in that respect.
So we've already been shopping, and he spent way too much money, which made me uncomfortable.. So tonight we're going out again, I just don't know what to do with him.. what are some good, neuteral places to go?
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Re: going out with customers
I don't understand I am sorry. You do not want a realship with hime and your uncorfatable when he spends a lot of money what exactlly is it that you are hoping for that you are seeing him outside the club? i am not trying to be rude but i can't help you until i know that.
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I guess i just want to be friends..
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Re: going out with customers
how about a medium budget resturant and a movie?
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When I go out with someone like that. I never let anyone buy me anything really. at least nothing expensive or clothes. I guess you can say i'm cheap cause i've used men but for stuff like Free meals, going with him to events (ex. concerts) smoke weed with them, stuff like that. If a man spends too much money on me like on shopping sprees i'm afraid of what can happen so i just don't do it.
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Re: going out with customers
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Re: going out with customers
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meea
Ok, so I finally took that step where me and my customer see each other outside of work. There is no sex, love, or realationship talk, and he is very polite in that respect.
So we've already been shopping, and he spent way too much money, which made me uncomfortable.. So tonight we're going out again, I just don't know what to do with him.. what are some good, neuteral places to go?
Maybe he's a generous spirit or maybe he's a player with an agenda. All you know is that you feel odd about it, and I'd strongly recommend you trust your instincts.
The broader point is that relationships are messy things. Friendships evolve sometimes--not always--into something else. Or two single people may enjoy each other until someone more suitable comes along for one of them. I've been through that experience: The transitional friend. Sadly, for me, in two of these instances (both were dancers, thus this post), I had more feelings for these women than I realized at the time, and their departure hurt.
Few people can step back from something intimate to "just friends."
I managed this emotional acrobatic act a few times, and treasure these women (both married now to great guys) but it's much more often the case that these women drift off out your life and into the myst. That's sad, but not surprising.
Regarding your shopping companion: I'd say if he isn't already happily dating, there's a good chance he'll take a shine to you if you hang out with him. How will you handle that? If you're not attracted to him, you should tell him you don't intend dating him. The old, "I like you, but as a friend" talk may be unpleasant for you, but it will save you grief in the long-run.
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Re: going out with customers
Customers are not friends.
Regardless of any amount of respect or "like" you may have for them, they are clients, business associates, etc.
Would you expect your "friend" from high school english class to pay for you everytime you went out? Would you expect a "friend" to pay you to hang out with them? Would you try to sell a VIP hour to your best "friend" or even your boy"friend" when he came into the club? Of course not. But you'll sell it to a client because there isn't any emotional attachment to him as a person.
I think you need to re-evaluate the situation. If you are going out with him because you think you'll lose him as a customer, then yes, at this point you've lost him as a customer (but potentially gained a friend). If you truly want friendship with this person, you should stop charging him for your time (him buying you gifts IS charging him) Furthermore, if he is a true "friend" he should stop coming into the club and paying to see you.
If you don't truly want friendship with him...then why are you putting yourself through something uncomfortable when you know you can go to the club and make just as much $$ if you put some effort into it.
I am a firm believer that it hurts business to see clients outside of the club. Others disagree, but every time I've done it in the past, I end up with 1. jewelry I didn't want, 2. missing a high dollar VIP at the club because I skipped work to go out with a schmuck who only gave me dinner and 500 bucks, and 3. and the added pressure of maintaining an imaginary "relationship."
This is a sales job. You need to define what you are selling and stick to it. You may lose this guy, but there will be plenty more.
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Re: going out with customers
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Originally Posted by britneyireland
Customers are not friends."
This is a sales job. You need to define what you are selling and stick to it. You may lose this guy, but there will be plenty more.
Marvelously put, Britney.
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Last time I checked,friends don't spend money on you like that.
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All I have so say is BE CAREFULL!! I personally would not go out with a customer because to me its very unbusiness like but I know it can be done and it is different in all places.
I just dont want to not hear from ya for weeks and I see your face on my milk carton.
*stay safe*
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Re: going out with customers
What you are describing is a "sugar" relationship. I will shortly be transitioning out of one to pure friends. It will be my first attempt at this. I was never a SC customer to her though.
For all the naysayers - everyone is different is what they can handle/pull-off. I specialize in unrequited love that would make a stalker out of a lot of people. LOL If you can read people well then give them the benefit of the doubt. Kind of like trust your instincts versus just following "rules".
;-)
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I actually believe that customers CAN be friends, in some cases. But never, ever let them buy you stuff. That's openening a possible doorway to a storm of misunderstandings and possible hurt.
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Two words: Roller skating!!!!
I'd recommend something active and sporty where you will be busy and not have to have much intimate time with him talking and looking..........
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Re: going out with customers
thanks a lot guys for the responses!
we went to the casino, and we ended up cashing all our chips, which was ike $150 of chips that he paid for, and he let me keep it all. Plus, he paid for my time.
I know it's not the best idea to go out with customrs, but i think he's got his priorities straight, and he's a nice guy. If I lost him as a paying custome, it's ok, but it's a great incentive to have a cool person to hang out with AND make money
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Re: going out with customers
My club has a strict policy about customers which actually follows the PA state law. It is considered soliciting if we do anything even have dinner with the customers outside of the club!!! It is an automatic fire. But even without the rule/law in place-I think it is a bad idea. It could put you in a bad postion or give the customer the wrong idea.
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He paid for your time???????
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See? It's a sugardaddy/sugarbabe relationship!
By the way, 1 visit & 2 lapdances doesn't exactly make me a customer
so I'm available. LOL
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Re: going out with customers
It is unprofessional IMO to date customers.But in some cases some of them do become your friends,especially if you have known them for a very long time.Going to dinner in that case is OK,but keep conversation on a FRIENDly level without promising anything.On the other hand if you accept expensive gifts (diamonds,cars etc) that will definitely put you in some obligation.It depends on every particular situation and sometimes hard to judge.
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Re: going out with customers
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Originally Posted by britneyireland
2. missing a high dollar VIP at the club because I skipped work to go out with a schmuck who only gave me dinner and 500 bucks, ...
Wow. Did you really just say that?
:: sigh ::.... while the rest of your advice was spot on, this line alone paints you BRIGHTLY as someone losing touch with reality.
I sure hope that tornado of $$ yer swept up in sets you down safely, someday.
:-\
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Re: going out with customers
I don't see anything wrong with this i have this guy he is older he's my "sugar daddy" buys me stuff and shit i mean it's his money if he wants to spend it on you let him be! i mean i have always believed in not mixing business with pleasure though but if he wants to keep lettin the dough come in keep it comin babe!
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Re: going out with customers
dgtlfnk,
No, I haven't lost touch with reality. I realize that being paid 500 dollars for dinner is a decent tip. When I taught elementary school it was my weekly paycheck. However, it was not the most prudent sale I've made considering the sale forfeited at the club by taking my business outside the club.
Bottom line, which is better for business?
5 hours in VIP at my club = 1000 cash in my bank account
Dinner and 500 bucks = 500 bucks in my bank account and $10 less in groceries
Sure, one could argue that going to dinner is "easier," but personally I'd rather bust my arss at work for double the money. Then I can pay for dinner with my husband, have twice as much capital, and not have to deal with any potential misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
Am I greedy? I don't think so. I just know the value of my services in this particular marketplace. Do I think the dollar cost of my services is overinflated, of course! But that is insignificant. There are a lot of goods and services out there that are overpriced (real estate, lawyers, medical lab tests, microdermabrasion) To accept anything less than market value is just poor business sense.
Funny, now that I think about it, I think that the market value of our services actually decreases once we take it outside the club. By this I mean that a customer who is willing to pay $200/hr inside the club rarely will match that rate outside the club. Does anyone else agree?
And I have to agree that sometimes friendships do develop from the club. I met my husband when his boss bought him a lap dance. However, once we started dating, he NEVER came into the club to give me money.
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Re: going out with customers
I have had a few customers that I have seen outside the club. They were regular customers at work and I enjoyed sitting with them so I didn't mind having dinner or shopping with them when they offered. One thing that I did do with them is ask if their regular waitress (who is also a friend of mine) could come along too. We have always had a great time on these outings and I had the safety of my friend there to keep things on an innocent level. There is one customer that I have dinner with at least twice a month and it is always a group of at least 2 of his regular dancers and his regular waitress and we have a blast. You do have to share some of the money this way but it's much more comfortable to me and we always have a great time together.
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Re: going out with customers
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Originally Posted by britneyireland
dgtlfnk,
No, I haven't lost touch with reality. I realize that being paid 500 dollars for dinner is a decent tip. When I taught elementary school it was my weekly paycheck. However, it was not the most prudent sale I've made considering the sale forfeited at the club by taking my business outside the club.
Bottom line, which is better for business?
5 hours in VIP at my club = 1000 cash in my bank account
Dinner and 500 bucks = 500 bucks in my bank account and $10 less in groceries
...
I understand the business end of things ok? Don't need the lesson.
I was just commenting on how you put it. A guy took you to dinner AND paid you $500....... and you see him as a schmuck?? THAT'S the part that gets me. People are no longer human to you, it seems. Only ATMs.
As I said.. nothing wrong with thinking you made the worse of the two decisions.. hence making less money. But it was the context you put it in, I suppose. :(
Quote:
Originally Posted by britneyireland
Funny, now that I think about it, I think that the market value of our services actually decreases once we take it outside the club. By this I mean that a customer who is willing to pay $200/hr inside the club rarely will match that rate outside the club. Does anyone else agree?
Of COURSE! Why would strip clubs exist if this WASN'T the case?? Seriously.
Plus... once a guy gets you to "hang out" with him outside of work, can you not see that he's thinking that he's now MORE than just a customer? That maybe you see him more as a friend... even if he is still paying you here and there. Paying less would be a natural response to the progression of the relationship.
You said so yerself, "I met my husband when his boss bought him a lap dance. However, once we started dating, he NEVER came into the club to give me money."
Your husband was able to flip the switch, so to speak... but since most guys don't get to go from point A to point B so quickly, they're probably thinking that there has got to be some middle ground.
Make sense?
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Re: going out with customers
In my eyes business is business you can have fun while doing business though. There are some people that can make it work but in a sense it can only be that good for so long. But, if it works and both parties know the realities of it all then its ok. But, many times in between someone gets confused and diluted with too much fantasy.
There shouldnt be a middle ground anyways thats where peoples feelings get hurt and money starts to slowly disapear.
Britney you are right on with the are value of services decreases outside of the club. Having to make pretty and go to work the next day just to have dinner and 200-500 bucks. Id rather do those 5 hours in VIP and make double w/o the hassle of dinner IMO.
I made that mistake once and will never do it again. We had dinner after work and he gave me a 150 (not that im complaining) but he was confused on how everything worked and was severely let down when I said I wouldnt go home with him. NEVER AGAIN.
There is a VERY thin line with taking business outside the club and that line is just to thin for me to want to walk it.