When he wants you but is in the clutches of another dancer
Situation #1: I approach a customer WHO IS ALONE and watch his jaw drop. He reaches for me in awe of my radiant, scintillating beauty. I am equally cute and striking (Thanks, MAC cosmetics!), which is the attention getter. With in a minute, he discovers that I am funny, then a look of sorrow crawls upon his face like a shadow. "I'm with so-and-so dancer. I wish I had seen you earlier." I'm here now and she's not. Let's boogie. "Oh no. She might get upset. I promised her." If you go to a Chinese buffet and select egg rolls on your first round, are you committed to having only egg rolls the entire night? Gah. Get dessert too! (PS I sometimes write in a light-hearted yet diva-like tone.)
Situation #2: Coming soon ... I had one in mind but forgot.
Situation #1 happens waaaay too often. Is there anything I can do?
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Things about me to consider if you'd like to respond:
1. I do not sit on customers' laps.
2. I do not sit at anyone's table without expressed permission.
3. I take "no" for an answer rather gracefully IMO.
4. I pay attention to body language. If he touches me, leans forward, moves closer, he's interested. If his eyes are darting around the room, I have my answer.
5. I've been dancing less than 2 months and just now am learning to sell in this environment. I'm intrigued that almost all situations fall into certain catagories. Simply knowing the catagories isn't enough.
6. I WILL NOT APPROACH A CUSTOMER WHO IS PHYSICALLY WITH ANOTHER DANCER.
Re: When he wants you but is in the clutches of another dancer
I think if the customer is that intrigued... he will either clear his space for you to come over(Tell the dancer to come back), or buy one or two dances from her... and then find the girl who he really want's to spend his cash on.
Re: When he wants you but is in the clutches of another dancer
YOU DO NOT INTERUPT!!!!
if he really wanted to go with you he would, and if he doesnt have the balls to leave then its not your place to step in!
Re: When he wants you but is in the clutches of another dancer
Quote:
Originally Posted by Silky
I think if the customer is that intrigued... he will either clear his space for you to come over(Tell the dancer to come back), or buy one or two dances from her... and then find the girl who he really want's to spend his cash on.
What I am trying to do is find a glitch in the game. Most dancers where I work stick with one customer until all the cash in his wallet is gone and has made several exhausting trips to the ATM, then they find a new customer. I do this too. I have him commit to me while I am on stage if he is not willing to join me at the tip rail. If I leave him alone for one second, some other dancer WILL show him how wonderful she is and I might never see him again. C'est la vie.
I want to know how they do this so that I can do it too. Maybe I'm beating a dead horse. Because once I have a customer, he typically will reject everyone else, including Natalie Portman.
I don't want to nag or beg a claimed customer or even spend more than 1 song with him pitching, because that's downright desparate. But there must be some approach to increase my batting average.
I probably am beating a dead horse. If I am not, let me know!
Re: When he wants you but is in the clutches of another dancer
Quote:
Originally Posted by tampafldancer
YOU DO NOT INTERUPT!!!!
if he really wanted to go with you he would, and if he doesnt have the balls to leave then its not your place to step in!
That's what I thought. I would never, never, never, never, never, never approach a customer who is sitting with someone else. However, I don't know who is owned and who is not, so I approach every unaccompanied potential.
I hate hearing that he is not having much fun with a certain dancer and would like to spend time with me but can't because of her. Low self-esteem? Definitely. But I'm not a therapist. In this sort of case, I would not want to step in.
Dead horse, it is.
As for the guys with balls, they rock! I've been told to go away and I've been asked to stay. I appreciate the candor. It saves time.
Re: When he wants you but is in the clutches of another dancer
If he really wants to spend his attention and cash on you, he will. Don't interupt, don't snipe another dancer. Way way WAY rude. And besides, even if you DID, there is always a chance that said male in question, and possibly a number of others in the club will see you as less than a classy lady for sniping a customer from a co-worker. Remember that clubs are rumor mills. Soon every dancer doesnt trust you, and regular customers might just not see you in the same, flattering light anymore. One dude isnt worth that.
Re: When he wants you but is in the clutches of another dancer
I think I am not getting my point across. I am not "stealing" or trying to. I am selling myself. If a customer is alone, he is fair game. If he is physically with someone, then he is probably having a good enough time and I won't bother ... unless I see him alone sometime later in the evening.
Do I say bad things about other dancers? Never. Do I compare myself to her? Nope. I don't even bring her up.
If I hear a "no" or a "come back later," I'm done. It's a lost cause. These customers have made up their minds. Good for the dancers who got them, and I mean that sincerely. This means that the customers will say nice things about the club and be repeat business, not to mention that the dancers will make money.
It's the ones who seem to waver on the fence. They might be toying with me or they truly need someone to make up their minds for them. I don't know.
Re: When he wants you but is in the clutches of another dancer
do not approach a guy when he is sitting and talking with another dance even though he could be making eyes at you or whatever. There are some men that like to start fights/ arguements between dancers like they are fighting for him or something it boosts their ego. They are not on the fence they are just toying to make something happen.
Re: When he wants you but is in the clutches of another dancer
I don't think that is what she is doing ladies.
Some guys come in especially to see one girl. Either she has called him to come in or he is there in hopes of seeing her. Either way, if he mentions another dancer, then he is probably a big pussy afraid of losing Dancer A, or he is stirring up drama.
Lizette, I would just keep an eye out for him and see how he is doing with the other chick. Every once in a while I've been bold, but only when he doesn't already have a relationship with Dancer A.
A good question to ask is if he knows Dancer A, or if he just saw her onstage and is "hoping" she will come see him, as if he has some magical knightly power. If he doesn't actually have time set aside to spend with her, he is fair game.
But I seldomly bother with any customer who talks about other dancers as that means he is into club drama.........
Re: When he wants you but is in the clutches of another dancer
In this situation lavish praise on the dancer he is waiting for. Tell him to have a good time and tell him your schedule so that he can come back and spend time with you next time.
I am all about building future business. She might have him tonight, but I'll have him every night in the future that he comes in 8) .
Re: When he wants you but is in the clutches of another dancer
Excellent advice as always Paris.
Re: When he wants you but is in the clutches of another dancer
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizette
I think I am not getting my point across. I am not "stealing" or trying to. I am selling myself. If a customer is alone, he is fair game. If he is physically with someone, then he is probably having a good enough time and I won't bother ... unless I see him alone sometime later in the evening.
Do I say bad things about other dancers? Never. Do I compare myself to her? Nope. I don't even bring her up.
I think perhaps one part in your oroginal post is misleading to me then...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizette
With in a minute, he discovers that I am funny, then a look of sorrow crawls upon his face like a shadow. "I'm with so-and-so dancer. I wish I had seen you earlier." I'm here now and she's not. Let's boogie. "Oh no. She might get upset. I promised her."
This sounds to me like a customer was with another girl, said girl had to get up for a moment or a set on stage or to pee or whatever, and you're trying to convince him to pick you instead. THAT is what it reads as to me, at least. THAT is what sounds like sniping to me. Sorry if I read this wrong...?
Re: When he wants you but is in the clutches of another dancer
Quote:
Originally Posted by PaigeDWinter
This sounds to me like a customer was with another girl, said girl had to get up for a moment or a set on stage or to pee or whatever, and you're trying to convince him to pick you instead. THAT is what it reads as to me, at least. THAT is what sounds like sniping to me. Sorry if I read this wrong...?
If I know that he has spent the past few hours with another dancer and she is up on stage or something, he is off limits to me. Unless he personally and unquestionably asks for a dance. No sales pitch for him!
I'm talking about the guys who say they are waiting on a dancer who is in the VIP, at another table, making a trip to the grocery store, obviously unavailable for at least the next 45 minutes. But if her drink is there, it's off limits again.
If I sound defensive, it's that I don't want to be classified as one of those tacky, theiving dancers. I've had customers taken from me in the basest ways and I'm still upset over each incident.
Once, a customer was talking to me, saying how much he'd like to get a dance from me, when out of nowhere, another dancer sat on his lap, stood up, and dragged him away. It happened like lightning. I was off guard. He gave me this pathetic "Save me!" look and through out the night tried to flag me down. Since he had no balls and I was at a loss of what to do, I didn't put up a fight. A shame too because he spent almost $400. He asked for my number before he left. Uhm ... no.
Re: When he wants you but is in the clutches of another dancer
Maybe tell him that when the dancer he is waiting for comes back to ask her about a two-girl dance/room? I think Paris's advice is best, tell them to come and see you on a different day. I usually say something like "Oh, well, I'll check on you later after you've had some time with Dancer A." But usually mark him off 'the list' unless it's real slow.
Re: When he wants you but is in the clutches of another dancer
Lizette, I would have given him my number and then if and when he calls discussed the situation with him and seen if I could line him up as a customer. If not, nothing was lost. An important part of lining up loyal customers after they have proven themselves to you is to have them confirm with you by phone when they are coming in. Then always have them come in early in the evening if possible when it is slow. That way you can spend more time with them without compromising dances from other customers.
Lizzette, you have posted some GREAT questions on SW and these very problems you are having we ALL face since this business has gotten slower over the years for various reasons, and competition for the dollars has gotten stiffer. I admire the fact that you are leaving no stone unturned trying to get all the business you can.
Hang in there and keep your options open.
Re: When he wants you but is in the clutches of another dancer
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizette
Once, a customer was talking to me, saying how much he'd like to get a dance from me, when out of nowhere, another dancer sat on his lap, stood up, and dragged him away..
ACKK! This happens to me ALL the time. It only one or two girls who do it, but you can be in the middle of a pitch and they will jsut walk up to the guy you are talking to, inturrupt you in mid setence, and before you know it, they have their drink next to him and have called dibbs for the rest of the nihgt. No, I don't mean that this man was this girl's regular, and I jsut happened to try to pitch him. I know these guys, they generally play the field, and are not usually anybody's regular. ANd it is the same 2 girls who always do it. How do we handle this?
Re: When he wants you but is in the clutches of another dancer
just last night I experienced similar problems (sort of). i did my stage show and a group of 3/4 guys were asking me about dances etc while i was on stage but i told them i'd come talk to them after i got down. so i get off stage run and drop my crap off and come back, now here's wherein the problem lies: the next dancer is on stage, the guy who talked to me from the tipping rail are still there and looking at me to see if I'm gonna come over. now i didn't wanna go over and steal them away from her show but they had already asked me and everything. i ended up just walking by and they stopped me and i ended up doing a dance for one, coming back and trading him off for another. I did however know the girl on stage and i made sure i was talking her up to them and making sure that they were going to tip her.
anyways, i was just reading this thread and thought i'd post my similar experience and see what would really be appropriate to do here.
Re: When he wants you but is in the clutches of another dancer
quaid: I think you played the situation fairly. On the one hand the fellas had inquired to you for dances...on the other hand they were still sitting at the tip rail while someone was on stage. They were attending to and tipping the dancer on stage, but when you came by *they* turned their attention to you. Talking up the dancer on stage was also a nice touch.
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Lizette: The clubs I go to are usually places where I know one or two dancers, and would be in the club to see them. But I know they can't devote all of their time to me, and in turn they know I may want to see or get dances from others. Your guy seemed to me to be in a similar state. I think he could've picked his words better, seeing as how he reached out to you though he was "with" someone else...as in "Well I'm with so-and-so now but I'd like to come find you later."
Alternately, if you notice someone sitting by themselves, you may want to ask something like "Are you here with someone" or "Is this seat taken" (if that's not something you already do), in case their buddy or their girl was in fact in the loo or at the bar. If he then asks you to sit down, the onus goes to him if it turns out you've taken someone's seat.