Originally Posted by Tina
Tampa is like a junior Houston. Take a deep breath for a minute.
As the saying goes, "we don't get what we want in life, we get what we expect". Would you go to Minneapolis in January and expect it to be 80 degrees? Conversely would you expect it to snow in Tampa ever?
As dancers we have to understand the psychology of men. Men want sex with women they are attracted to. They are different than us. And because of societal norms women who work in our kind of business are sluts and men who can conquer us get a notch in their belt.
Going into this business every dancer knows she will be propositioned, asked out, and talked to in a condescending manner. And usually this is an every night occurence. Even the men who are outwardly respectful,want more than a dance, either to date us, fuck us, or develop a relationship. The other night a guy from the club who was looking for after hours action saw me arrive at my motel after work (I work in a small town) and came knocking on the door, twice in 5 minutes, looking for action. Why guys would go to that extent I don't know, but it takes all kind to make a world.
The real problem here is that in the club environment you are in (and I have been in, in Houston) many guys have to be convinced they will get more than a dance to part with their money.
And as competitive as this business is, if you won't give them a blow job, hand job, or full service in a club where management turns their back on extras, some other girl will.Every dancer doesn't look as sex for money as bad. If you were a guy, you would want the "entire package" too if it were available, wouldn't you?
I have learned to deal with full contact dances and being touched, but in some clubs the guys are trying to ram their fingers up you or yank your breasts off the socket, and it gets frustrating having to constantly hound them about being too rough. If you are working in a club where guys are happy with good grinding and touching that is manageable.
In places where more is available, if all you do is grind and allow some touching you will get passed over for girls who will offer more, and you are then forced to bait guys in the back and give them less than what they expect and that is hard. Then you get a bad rap in the club as being a ROB.
To survive without stress in that type of club a dancer needs to be a "provider", or seek out cities to work in where contact laws are ENFORCED. I'm not talking about air dance clubs, but clubs where some contact is acceptable, but no touching by the customer is allowed and no sex acts in the club are tolerated.
I wouldn't cry over guys wanting all they can get for their money, but I would maybe take a few days break if you can and decide if you are comfortable providing the minimum mileage you can get away with in order to work where you are now, (One girl I know well in Houston would always carry napkins in her purse, and she would provide hand jobs and nothing more)or look into working in other cities or towns in high momentum clubs with less competition, where guys are not expecting as much in the club but still buy dances. I was not comfortable having to give hand jobs as a minimum to survive in Houston as well as run the risk of going to jail whenever the cops decided to raid the clubs so I moved on.
This is a long post, but you asked a question and this is my full two cents.;)