Physical Violence threat by other dancers
This is long.
I've been in the business for 12 years now, and worked at many of the top clubs in my state. A few years ago, I had adrenal gland failure, which caused me to gain about 30 lbs. in the course of a few months. It's taken 2.5 years to get it straightened out totally, and I've finally lost 20 of those pounds.
I started dancing again when I'd lost about 10 of the original pounds. My hubby and I had moved, so the only clubs available were smaller clubs, of which I am not a huge fan; but, you take what's there, right? After some research, I finally decided on a club, auditioned, and got hired right away (I am a very pretty woman, even with the bit of extra weight). I proceeded to continue my weight loss as my medications were adjusted, and am now only about 10 lbs. over where I was at 22. My weight is now stable, and the docs have said I am really unlikely to lose anymore. I am a size 3/5, and 5-foot-nothing. So, I have a decent body, but not phenom; however, I have a very nice butt, skin, a very beatiful face, and take impeccable care of myself. Many of the girls I work with don't bother with nails, etc., and guys notice that. I dance to older music (classic rock, 80's nad 90's, with some modern music if it' not too hard), and the customer's really resond. Yes, this is going somewhere...
During my tenure at the current small club, I quickly became the top money-maker. Most of the women there have never worked at a bigger club where you really have to hustle and give a good stage show, and so sit on their butts all day in the dressing room and just walk around on stage. Gee, wonder why they don't make any cash? *They* think, of course, it's because I am "too friendly" to the customers. When I ask a gentelmen if he'd like a dance, go up, lean into him, put one leg on each side of his (no knee-in-the-groin rubbing, etc.), and introduce myself. Depending on the gentleman's responses, I either talk for a minute, or whisper in his ear something along the lines of "Ready to go play?" I am almost never turned down, and regularly make 2-3 times what the other girls make (esp. since I am actually working the floor instead of heading into the parking lot to get stoned most of the day). This type of contact is legal and within the rules of the club, as is some grinding (30 second and off is the rule, though I rarely do more than 10 seconds). The other girls simply walk around and say "wannadance?" Of course, most of the time the customers say "no." They don't look or make eye contact in their lapdances, and I do. Etc. All well within the rules of the club, and my personal comfort zone.
The upshot here is that I've been accused of making the club look slutty (because the skeezy sex-toy-and-peep-booth place attached makes it look really high-class, right?) because I am too friendly. I've pretty much ignored this, and made sure with management that everything I was doing was within the law and club rules. It is. I am nice to all the girls and staff, but keep to myself and never mention money or how much I make, etc. I am just too old for high-school BS, and work is work for me, not a social occasion or a place I plan to make best friends. Unfortunately, there's one girl who is not mentally all there (really erratic mood swings, etc), and she's chased off more than one dancer. She's convinced that she'd make money if the "sluts" were gone, and can't understand why anyone who isn't stick-rail skinny (she's not healthy-thin--she's strung-out skinny) and doesn't have fake boobs (her's are one of the lesser-quality jobs I've come across) would ever make money unless they were doing something "wrong." Unfortunately, the management won't fire her as there aren't a lot of dancers in this area. Anyone who makes money is on her 'hit list" and I am the lastest. She's threatened physical violence, and has done the same to at least one other dancer who's now quit (she accosted her loudly in the dressing room, calling her a variety of names and threatening her bodily harm--I wans't there for this, but have heard it from the threatened dancer and several other girls). She never does this within hearing of anyone who will corroborate it (most of the girls don't want to get involved); so, I have no proof. There are no valets or bouncers on day shift, so aside from walking out with another girl, I've little protection on this front. While I can handle myself physically, I've no desire to end up with either an injury or a police record. This is the first time I've experienced this, as at the bigger & classier clubs there are simply too many girls and too much regulation for things to go this direction (or for me to be actually worried about it, even if a girl did make the threat). I don't expect everyone to like everyone else, but there is a certain amount of professionalism I am used to. This other stipper will yell innappropriate things out from the stage, loudly procliaming any money-making dancers to be "dirty hookers," or the like. She never does it when management is around, of course, and the DJ never pays any attention (he's pretty useless on all fronts). Most clubs I've worked in would fire her for that alone, as it doesn't present the image they trying to project.
Frankly, it's not worth the issues anymore. The club DOES NOT want to see me go as I am their biggest daytime moneymaker, but they don't want to let anyone go, either, to make it a reasonable working environment. I've never asked, but I've seen other things go on there, such as the biggest $$ maker in the club at night get her belongings literally peed in...they didn't fire the girl who did that until she actually hit someone else. I have decided the 1.45 drive to the big city is worth it at this point (will likely get a hotel). I've dropped enough weight to now make it viable for me to get rehired into my former clubs, as well. So, do I tell management WHY I am leaving, or do I not bother? I usually give a few day's notice to a club, but don't even really want to go back and deal with this mess to do that..thoughts? Other suggestions on this? Has this happened to you, and how did you handle it?
Thanks for listening!
Re: Physical Violence threat by other dancers
First, if you decide to go back, I would invest $20 in a small roller suitcase and put a little lock on it so your things don't get peed in. I have heard that happening in other clubs. I am no longer working in clubs because of the way girls act. You can ignore it for a while but when you get to the point of loosing it, it's time to go somewhere else. Sometimes it helps to corner her by herself (without her being able to show off in front of other people) and tell her that you will not tolerate her behavior anymore. Let her know how stupid she is for messing with you not knowing whether or not you're the type of person to follow her home and take care of it. I guess what I'm saying is...some girls like to put on a show to seem superior to everyone else. It's the ones that catch you by yourself that you have to worry about.
Re: Physical Violence threat by other dancers
whoa. i'd run, not walk, to another club. This is not worth risking your personal safety and sanity. I have worked in a couple of smaller, low key clubs in the past, and also did very well because, like you said, the girls have no clue when it comes to selling and stage shows. However, the girls at these places tend to be very territorial. I've run into situations like the one you described, and decided it definitely was not worth my frustration to remain there. If management knows what is going on with the club bullies, and refuses to take any action, it clearly shows their lack of respect and concern for you. If/when you leave, they will very quickly begin to miss the amount of $$ you brought into the club. good riddance!!! It sounds like you'll make money wherever you go, so why put up with that shit?
Also, congratulations on the weight loss :)
Re: Physical Violence threat by other dancers
Although I'm relatively new to all of this and have never had anything like this happen to me, I think I would tell management exactly why I decided to move on. From what you've written here it sounds like you can tell them calmly and professionally exactly what is going on and it is definitely fair that you're wanting to leave because of it.
Re: Physical Violence threat by other dancers
I say you go in and tell your managers that you are leaving and why. If they can't or won't do anything about the situation then that is definately not the place you want to work. If they lose their biggest daytime moneymaker, then they might start looking into the problems that this girl is causing. At any rate, if the long drive would be worth the money and the enviroment the by all means go. Don't subject yourself to bullshit if you don't have to.
Re: Physical Violence threat by other dancers
Thanks for your replies. Sometimes, it's just nice to hear some words of encouragement. This is a rough business much of the time, and knowing there are reasonable women doing it does help. There are definitely days, esp. as I get older, when I wonder how much longer I can put up with the daily BS--let alone this extra, bonus BS. lol Fortunately, I only dance part-time now as I own a small business, as well; so, there's some sanity in my wold :-) And, I am working on opening my own club where i can put my 12 years of experience and my business knowledge & education to work!
I have one of the wheeled bags, but mine's a soft-sided and has pouches that can be opened. It's not really water-proof, either:O, though I believe it's water-resistant. I am considering getting a hard-sided one, just for extra safety and protection, because spending the extra cash is worth it to make sure my belongings are safe and urine-free. Thank you for that suggestion, it's an excellent one.
Re: Physical Violence threat by other dancers
Hey!
I really enjoyed the way you told your story. You have a great head on your shoulders and know what to do. Tell management, as you have nothing to lose. The worst that can happen is they do nothing. Karma will get this girl eventually and if management wont listen, she will take the club down with her.
I worked in another city for a long time on weekends. The nice thing about travelling to work is that since you have invested in the gas, drive, and hotel, it gives you even more incentive to go out there and BUST YOUR ASS HUSTLING!
And as you know, in the big clubs, girls are too busy working to waste time with piddly drama (most of the time). Get a nice new outfit, get your hair did, go to that big city club, and ROCK THE HOUSE MAMA!!!
Good luck! :)
Re: Physical Violence threat by other dancers
hey schwankie...welcome to the site!
I think you should explore your options too since you shed all that weight (btw congrats!)
Know that you dont have to put up with that and if you want to continue working at the club just ignore her. If she threatens YOU tell managment and if they dont do anything about it..... LEAVE. its not worth it! If its a small time club...chances are you will do better somewhere else!!!
Re: Physical Violence threat by other dancers
Quote:
Originally Posted by shwankie
So, do I tell management WHY I am leaving, or do I not bother? I usually give a few day's notice to a club, but don't even really want to go back and deal with this mess to do that..thoughts? Other suggestions on this?
As your first priority is your own safety and well-being, CYA - then, and only then should you consider things like business etiquette, the bests interests of the club/management, etc. So, considering your description of the girl and the lack of security at the club, I'd suggest you not only tell management via telephone (if at all), but that out of an abundance of caution you also try to keep the name of your new club to yourself... 'cause there's rarely an upside to screwing around with people who are crazier than you are, and this girl clearly falls into that category.
Re: Physical Violence threat by other dancers
This kind of thing started to happen to me, but I nipped it in the bud. one of my friends had went to work at another club. She statred telling me and my best friend about how catty the girls were there and asked us to go up there with her so she'd feel safer. The girl who was causing her the most trouble was the "ringleader" and made all the other girls turn on our friend. We figured we might as well work while we're here so we went with her and started getting ready...and it began. The ringleader comes in and puts her bags down on the table right in front of the mirror that I'm using and proceeds to go of to the other dancers and talk a lot of mess loud enough for us to hear. I laughed and pushed her bags aside and kept minding my business. This kind of behavior went on through the night and I finally got fed up. I told her to her face I didn't know who she thought she was and frankly I didn't give a damn, but I will not be disrespected...and a whole lot of other stuff taht I can't even remember because I was so mad. Afterwards she stopped her antics,even apologized to all of us, and proceeded to be stuck up my butt the rest ofthe night. All the other dancers told me they were glad I did that, because nobody else would. This is just my experience and may not be the right choice for you....just sharing.Some people need to be put in their place, some killed with kindness, others left alone.
Re: Physical Violence threat by other dancers
If it were me, I'd quietly move on to another club.
I have seen and sadly heard of too many situations where threats of violence get carried out.
Good luck to you in whatever you decide to do about this situation.
Re: Physical Violence threat by other dancers
Thanks, ladies, for all your support and input.
I have unofficially quit, meaning I gave my shift away today to someone else (it was my last day this week, and I leave on Friday for vacation). When I return, I'll be heading to the "big city" to check out clubs and audition for one of my old haunts--just trying to decide which one.
I will officially quite Monday afternoon, post-audition and getting hired elsewhere. I am going to tell them my reasons, politely. They'll miss the cash I bring in, as they take a % of each dance and I am by far the top earner. Whether they'll make any changes or not will be up to them, but I won't be back either way. Because the clubs I will be checking out are literally 3 hours from where I work now (I already drive just over an hour to work, and the clubs I am checking out are just under two hours in the opposite direction from me), I'm not really worried about reprisals. That said, I am not going to broadcast the new club name, either.
I suspect this club will be closing in the near future, anyway. It's only real draw is that it's the only nude club in town, and the only one that gives lap dances. This is about to change with the arrival of not only Deja Vu (slated to open either late this year or early next, the rumors say), but the building of what is said to be the largest club in the state. That club is supposed to open either this summer or fall, and will be all-nude. Currently, they plan on giving lap dances. This tiny club, with girls that don't work (and chase out those that do) and most of which aren't all that attractive, is unlikely to survive the opening of these other two clubs in such a small area.
So, getting out while the gettin' is good, so to speak, is probably the best option anyway.
Thanks again, ladies, for just listening :-)