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Psychological Effects of Dancing?
Was wondering if some here have had noticeable effects on their psyche from dancing that aren't neccessarily good or bad, but signifigant. For example, I lose memories from a lot of shifts- one regular SC custie looked annoyed while I was talking to him for some reason, and I later remembered I had talked to him for 2 hours a few months before and just put it out of my head.
Working in clubs gives me social anxiety- I had to get drunk to go with my sister into town because I'm oversensitive to human interaction for a while after a booking...
The most unique thing is flashes of nausea when a custie tries to touch me. I think it's 'cause I'm in my reproductive peak years and the idea of some man I don't want touching me affects me in a deep way.
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
Well, I am definitely more conservative and cautious. Dancing has taught me a lot. When I see girls at night clubs wearing pratically bras and shaking their asses now it disgusts me. It's like they are making themselves an object and yet not even getting paid for it and that's something I guess I cannot understand. I'm more cautious about men offering me things and complimenting me because I now know that 90% of the time they just want down my pants. Ignorance was bliss I guess. I live in a small city and there are (as always) a lot of negative stereotypes of being a dancer. I don't have the sacurity of a good amount of anonymity here and that makes me paranoid and also have social anxiety.
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
I have heard this alot from dancers, that working in a SC actually makes them feel nervous. I can see this happeneing, and i think it would be a normal response for a person who works naked or half naked and a 3rd of the world says it's nasty, you work with other dancers who are actually hustling for the same customers you are. Lots of stress, lots. Can bring on panic attacks and such.
What used to get me was watching a dancer while i worked and everything looked fine, but she grabs her stuff from the back and shoots out the door, never to come back.
Yes alot of dancers feel anxiety, and not just newbies either....You really have to look at the social group and setting of a strip club.....it's NOT a "regular" job.
Some ladies HATE strangers touching them....i mean it's very normal to want a man who you love to be touching you instead, i know i would have.
There is really alot involved when you start dancing, that you don't see, but you can feel it, (if you know what i mean) you're not alone this i know.
Pamela
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
hmm...i think the psyche and dancing affect each other equally.
i think i started dancing because i didn't trust men and when i did, how certain men act in the club just solidifies why i dont trust them in the first place. 99.9% just seem to want the superficial. i am not stating this as an across the board fact, this has just been my experience.
and i find that is my attitude in the club. understand that you will be touching nothing, doing nothing with me. say whatever you want, look as long as you want, just compensate me. i don't need your other bs. at the same time, the club is my outlet to experiment with different looks and be the "it" girl that i could never be on a regular basis.
the funny part is that i have a bf and i love him dearly. i give him a fair chance. but he knows my patience is a lot shorter than most girls. in a weird way i think it turns him on :O . i do understand the paranoia sometimes...i get up to check the locks on my door a few times a night and i have several weapons.
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
From what I hear from girls who have worked both in and out of austin, this city is a lot more open minded about dancing. I deffinately am much more comfortable in my own skin now. I can read men and I can usually tell who is an idiot and who is genuine. Working with a few millionairs, and hearing about their travels and family life has also inspired me to try my hardest in school, and one day be able to provide for my family the things they can provide for theirs.
negatively, it has effected my relationships. Lots of guys are very insecure dating a dancer. I will leave this job one day and hope to meet some nice guy. I realize that there are a few guys around that don't mind dating a dancer, but most I meet do. I have fun at my job most of the time, but sometimes I do feel helpless, and stuck.
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
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Originally Posted by Concubine
When I see girls at night clubs wearing pratically bras and shaking their asses now it disgusts me. It's like they are making themselves an object and yet not even getting paid for it and that's something I guess I cannot understand.
Hee - I went out dancing with some girlfriends recently and asked, "I don't understand why these girls are getting all dressed up to come out and let some obnoxiously drunk guy hump them for free."
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
I won't even *go* to nightclubs anymore and I used to DJ and do promotions for them. It is too LOUD!!! All in all I've become a lot quieter in my personal life and more reserved... sort of looking for some sort of peaceful environment in my spare time. I also dress much more conservatively than before (I used to be kind of a provocative goth girl and now I'm into sexy suits and nice lines... still sexy though.. a la Angelina Jolie).
Oddly, too, I have really chilled on the partying and am a lot more comfortable in my own skin. My BS threshhold is pretty low these days... much lower even than before, lol.
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
Oh lord... all kinds of effects. It's not good for some girls. For awhile, I hated every guy that came thru the door - was convinced all men were sickos. I didn't want to be touched by anyone. I think it ruined my social life. I had no interest in talking to anyone outside the club, or going out. I never remembered customers. I would bury everything that happened there. I never enjoyed dancing, and always felt like I should be doing something rewarding.
If I had it to do over, I would never have danced, and I would not suggest anyone else do it. I felt violated.
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
Before I started stripping I loved to go out and dance. But since I have started stripping, and stopped drinking I HATE going to nightclubs, all my friends are strippers and drinkers and they love to go out and dance, and they all can't understand why I hate going out to nightclubs and dancing for free, and talking to guys for free, and having to be nice to drunk people for free. I hate being around drunk people since I don't drink and the only way that I can tolerate it is if I am being paid for it. Also I don't date anymore. Its like I don't want to be alone but I don't want to date either, its like I'm always around sooo many people at work, so when I'm not working I want to be alone because it is more peaceful that way. Since I started dancing I hate being around other people outside of work, I do everything alone most of the time. My social life is work, I only do something with someone ( a girlfriend) maybe once a month. Its like to keep my peace of mind I have to be by myself when I'm not working, this might have something to do with working 6-7 days a week
(mostly seven) of eight hour (or more) shifts, I don't know?
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
glad theres more girls here like me :)
im pretty 100% sure i have full blown social anxiety AND social avoidance.
i actually dont leave my apartment except to go to work.on the rare occasion i leave the aptmt by myself (last time was feburary!) to do something,im a wreck!! and if im have to go out "partying" i gotta have a pill before i leave home,or ill not make it half way up the road! i do not anwser my phone-its on silent, i procrastinate having to call anyone,even close friends and family, i cancel every single lunch and dinner gathering my firends make with me. i just know i cant do it. i cant even walk to the elevator to get downstairs to check the mail by myself! when i first meet people, i dont talk to them.takes me several visits before i can acknowledge them at all... :(
thats in my "real life" as i call it.
at work, different story. totally different.which is great!!! but, ive noticed an overlapse happening lately,im getting anxious at work as well...which affects my income alot.
the only way ive found to deal with all this is to take drugs.i dont drink or smoke ciggs,and never in a million years thought id even TRY "ice" but its the only thing that stops me figiting,shaking,being paranoid,stressing etc. must have a reverse effect on me,kinda like ritilin does for adhd kids?! random. ive even stopped biting my nails,and now they are a good 5mm long!! the longest they have ever been. the downfall is, ive lost alot of weight and i was already a stick, now i just look sick, i dont have a hell of alot of money,and give it anther month and ill have a habit :( so im pretty scared about all that.
why im rambling all this here,i dunno, something i need to get off my chest :) sorry... :(
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
I know my boyfriend has a different view of going to night clubs since he's worked in one. Every club he goes in he notices things that I would NEVER notice and even notices certain people walking down the street and gets sort of defensive like he expects them to do something.
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
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Originally Posted by ChocolateKiss
I hate being around other people outside of work, I do everything alone most of the time. My social life is work, I only do something with someone ( a girlfriend) maybe once a month. Its like to keep my peace of mind I have to be by myself when I'm not working, this might have something to do with working 6-7 days a week
(mostly seven) of eight hour (or more) shifts, I don't know?
I was always like this, before dancing and during the times I wasn't dancing. I'vew always been a loner, I guess. Hubby is the same way, which is porbably why we always got along so well. I was once engaved to a career sales man, and he was like that, too.
I havealways been a workaholic, too. eother 2 jobs or a job and going to school. When I quit work to stay home with my son, I thought I would die of the boredom.
Actaully, dancing is really positive for me. I am good at it, and good at making money, and when I come home with that fist full of $20's I jsut feel so great about it. Very satisfying to know that tonight I made enough money to feed my family for a month, pay my son's college fund, and so on.
I don't mind that work is really my social life and most of my friends are strippers. I have never been much of a person for fitting into groups, but I fit in much better with the other girsl at work than I ever have with anybody else. We all have thie similar mind set, that we are there to make money and the better we work it, the more we will all make. Nobody but another dancer can laugh at my dumb customer stories. Also, they are not going to look down on me for being overly sexual, using sexuality and my body to make money, and so on. I am also one of the more mature and sensible dancers at my work, and so I tend to live vicaraously through everybody else's adventures without geting sucked into their drama myself.
Overall, I am a much happiewr and less stressed-out person wehn I am dancing than when I am not.
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
Not surprised there are many women affected like this. However, some good effects came from dancing- I have more nerve and confidence (I used to be shy and quiet all the time) and am more intuitive about people- to the extent that I can spot really rotten people off the bat. Something about the way they carry themselves, and their facial expressions (which might be what Bunny's boyfriend is seeing in people- I love watching bouncers watch a crowd.)
It is a lot of stress.....I feel like energy gets sapped out. I look in the mirror and feel older than I look. Dorian Grey, here I come.....heh.
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
I like the affect dancing has on me, and it's pretty stark, to the point where I'll quit dancing for a while, then go back to it, and within two days, voila, back to stripper me.
Non-stripper me usually thinks she's getting fat, feels lazy, worries way too much about stuff that doesn't matter, feels insecure about personal relationships, and hates talking to strangers (even to order pizza; I make my boyfriend do it).
Stripper me is relaxed, more confident, feels healthier and skinnier... which overall makes me happier. Not only will I order my own pizza, I'll go out to a restaraunt alone if I really want to. Of course, stripper me is hornier, too, and therefore gets laid more, which might be part of the relaxed thing... ?
When stripper me starts randomly hating customers and getting over cynical is when I take a break for a month or so to screw my head back on straight.
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
hmm...makes me want to do drugs and booze less- i'm too busy hustling. i'm known as the 'responsible' girl at my club. it's made me a lot more aware of men's alterior motives. i still go out in sexy outfits to clubs, i still go places late at night, i try not to let things stop me. most of the bad crap in my life happened BEFORE i started dancing. dancing has made me better at becoming more aware of bad situations and given me the skills to protect myself. i am less trusting of men and mostly any negative ideas i had towards their behaviors has just become concrete. i realize i was more naive back then and can now read people better. it's helped a lot. i dont need to be treated badly anymore.
it's also made me less social, meaning i can also stay out of all the social drama that goes on. it also makes me feel more isolated. i feel that no one can relate to me. especially people that want to date me. that issue has existed all along, but now i am more aware and know i am better off single.
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
I have noticed that many dancers start to rely more on how they look, or how they feel they are being judged by customers, for their sense of worth--instead of feeling good about what kind of person they are.
It can be good for self-esteem if the women are popular dancers and are making a lot of money, but it encourages superficial values. This can get old really fast, and is a damned shame when a woman who is truly beautiful inside is far more concerned with how she is being perceived by a bunch of jerks who just want to fuck her.
There is also a big danger, from what I have seen, that some dancers will begin to judge all men by the examples they deal with at work. The tendency to manipulate men, or resist imagined manipulation from men, then crosses over into areas it might not be as valid or productive.
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
i just flicked thru an old book i had and found this... (the psychology of adolescence-third edition, arthur t jersild)
"girls who have been deprived of a farther due to either a divorce of death reported they felt more tension and anxiety when they were with males.daughters of divorced parents exhibited more attention seeking behavoiur in relations to members of the opposite sec and exhabited earlier hetrosexual behavoiur"
and another bit says
"individuals are likely to be anxious when their conscience,or superego is overly severe,harsh or punitive,driving them to repress wholesome promptings of ther natures to strive for a perfection that is beyond human reach.individuals can also become anxious if they go to the other extreme of repressing feelings of guilt that cannot go unheeded if they are there TO SATISIFY THE NEEDS .the conflicts that cause anxiety involve moral or ethical issues,he maintains that anxiety arises form unconsious,repressed and repudiated guilt...persons can become anxious if their morals demand more of them...or if they try to sidestep moral responsibilities"
blah blah...
theres heaps of cool lil things all through out the book that kinda make me wonder,if other dancers have the mental background for these things, and dancing is just a trigger for it.
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
Mermaidnz,
Girl your first post really made me concerned about you. That doesn't sound good at all. Have you talked to family or friends about all that? Are you alright?
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
djoser-
in the sex industry a lot of men that i have come across are not saying, "my, the heart on that woman is amazing!" some of the men i have met actually did appreciate classiness over skankiness, but the majority of them were looking for one thing, in this case, pussy. most of them have been saying, "the tits on that chick are amazing!." unfortunately, it does encourage superficial values. sometimes you have to take worse comments with a smile and just brush it off. after a while it takes its toll. i am sure you understand. i am not saying that it is right, but i do understand where some of those girls are coming from. especially when they have no one in their life to help correct their thought patterns. you are right on target when you say that attitude might hinder their performance in other areas of their lives though.
anyhoo-
i would say a good chunk of the girls i work with are on some drug of some sort. oxy, x, heroin, coke, whatever. i feel it's because they are trying to make some of the painful realities of this job seem not so painful. the night after night of the same sort of guy with the awful comments or actions or whatever. personally, there have been times that i have gotten on stage and froze for like a good 10 secs with the thought, "my goodness, what am i doing?" the way i get over it is i take vacations. i guess those are my drugs, lol. i make extra effort to separate "me" from "the girl on stage".
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
I used to find myself getting very irratated easily and being so full of the SC scence that I wouldnt want to go out when I wasnt working. Who wants to go clubing when they work at a club? Sometimes, I would get depressed but I think that was due to my not planning my finances right.
Some night when youre not on and the crowd isnt loving you like usual that takes a toll on me...then I know its times for a break I shouldnt let it get to me.
I dont think Ive danced that long to really see how it effects me long term...ask me 4 years from now when Im ready to retire.
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
When I'm not working..I hate going anywhere....I even dread goin to the grocery store!!! There are times that I'll drive to the store and get a panic attack.......and I just go home. I have such social anxiety lately.
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
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Originally Posted by Jenny
Hee - I went out dancing with some girlfriends recently and asked, "I don't understand why these girls are getting all dressed up to come out and let some obnoxiously drunk guy hump them for free."
haha.
funny this is brought up!
i am new to dancing, and part of my reasoning that i would be a good candidate for this job is that i don't give it all up for free. i don't mean i am rationalizing guilty feelings, or am a prude, but in examining my feelings and thoughts when i considered dancing, i wondered why i thought i could "do" it.
i am not a girl who goes to clubs and grinds on guys (i love going out to dance, but usually in a fun, no-touchy and mayyybe teasy-flirty sort of way), i like to dress sexy but not cliche or cheap, i never went to mexico and had sex with some random schmuck on spring break like some of my friends, i don't sleep around or cock-tease or even talk raunchy in a sexist, even joking way...it seems a lot of people i know who do these things have MORE repressed and negative views about stripping. honestly! what is the difference between this QUOTE normal ENDQUOTE youthful behavior that is pushed on tv and acted out in real life and what i would like to be doing? not much, except that the one that is OK is something that i would never dream of doing, and the one that isn't is the one that is so taboo. i do have a healthy and (probably over-)active sex drive, am comfortable with my body and sexuality, and have open views about other people's sexuality, lifestyle, gender and choices, and i'm not dependent on males or need their approval to feel validated (though attention from the right people is always nice ;) ), nor would i be ashamed of stripping. the few people i have talked to about my decision to start dancing have been shocked that I of all people (haha, I'm also a self proclaimed feminist, even radically so) would consider such a job. lately, for some reason i've realized i do have a remarkable ability to "charm the hell out of" men of all breeds in bars...or perhaps its just the blonde....
i hope that my attitude might work for me instead of against me in such a tough job with criticism from both the inside and outside world. like it seems many of you ladies are, i am too a bit of a hermit to begin with...i treasure time to myself after having to be out in public for ANYTHING for any length of time.
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
like someone else said, i've always been a loner, and now i'm more of a loner. when i'm not working i just want to relax and be ALONE. i am definitely more critical of men...dancing has lowered my view of them. dancing has also reinforced the things in life that really matter; in general, the simple things that most people forget to appreciate. i value my family, pets, and downtime much, much more:cloud9:
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
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Originally Posted by red diving girl
i don't sleep around or cock-tease or even talk raunchy in a sexist, even joking way...it seems a lot of people i know who do these things have MORE repressed and negative views about stripping.
I agree. I have a friend who hates strippers and strip clubs yet she sleeps around and goes to clubs and hooks up with random guy's. And I have met many other girls who are like this as well. In my opinion taking your clothes off for money is not nearly as bad as giving yourself to so many men. What she does is her buisness I just don't like the hypocrocy involved.
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Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?
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Non-stripper me usually thinks she's getting fat, feels lazy, worries way too much about stuff that doesn't matter, feels insecure about personal relationships, and hates talking to strangers (even to order pizza; I make my boyfriend do it).
This is so me! Especially the talking to strangers part, I feel physically sick when I have to force myself to phone a stranger - it's just the weirdest thing.
Yet, I have to admit to being a little concerned about this...can't dance forever. I haven't danced for 4 months now, and I'm strongly considering going back, for many of the reasons above. But one day I'm going to need to figure out how to overcome these issues without dancing! Has anyone else overcome this, and how?