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Is this just Midwestern people?
Ok...since Ive moved down to SD..Ive met a few people and talked to alot of people as well. In our conversations they would mention either that they themselves are married and/or they have a few friends that are married as well. All of these people are from the midwest or east.
I rarely meet a Californian that has gotten married under the age of 23. Im not saying getting married at a young age is a bad thing of course youre the only one who knows you are truly in love.
Im just really curious as to why so many young people are getting married and especially that they are from or live in the midwest or east? Why isnt that people from west USA dont get married earlier?
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
I *almost* got married at the age of 21. Dodged a bullet, i did.
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
I have a theory. My cousins who live in Minnesota all got married way before there 30's and I have friends who left the East Coast and went to School somewhere in the Midwest, fell in love and got married too. Anyways my theory is that it gets so cold there, that people start dating each other to keep warm among other fun things and eventually they marry.
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
I grew up in NorCal and have visited the upper Midwest. The difference? Midwesterners are more family-oriented, whereas Californians "do their own thing". I have many pals from all parts of the Midwest, and the assumption if you live out there is that you'll meet someone, get married, buy a house, start having kids, etc......all the merry way to matching cementary plots. More traditional.
Values are different in CA. Kids run wild in the street, people are encouraged to "do their own thing" and marriage is looked at as a ball and chain. (My friend from Indiana was watching the "Jackass" episode where Chis Pontius dresses up as the Devil and pickets a church with the sign "KEEP GOD OUT OF CALIFORNIA."
"But there's no God in California," my friend said. Exactly.)
PS I also have enjoyed the hot loving on a cold prarie night. Nothing better!
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
Well, pretty much everyone knows that I got married the first time at 16 (he was eighteen) We definitely loved eachother and the marriage lasted 7 years. We were together for 8 years total. I hadn't planned on getting married until I was much older. He just kind of sprung the proposal on me, complete with a very beautiful diamond when I visited him in Orlando. He was going to another school in Chicago a month later, and he wanted me to go with him. So, eh, I accepted the proposal.
We married a month later with a HUGE wedding at my Mother's house. Then he went off to Chicago the weekend after our wedding and got us an apartment then I flew out.
Young marriages are very very tough. There are some that work out--My aunt and uncle for one (they were both 17, now they are in their 60s), but it takes a whole lot of work. Me and the ex did try to make things work, but that last year was a disaster. Sometimes when you "grow up" together in a way, you grow apart. That's what happened to us.
Anyhoo, I don't know of anyone else personally from Rhode Island who got married as young as I did, so I don't think it's a regular occurence there. I don't know about other places, but I have heard that in the South, they do marry off very early.
:shrug: LOL
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
ain't got nuttin else tah do in these here parts
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
Quote:
Originally Posted by MojoJojo
ain't got nuttin else tah do in these here parts
Exactly.
Not a whole lotta "lets try something new" there either. "Why don't cha go to California with those new age ideas, hippie!"
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
Well, I'm Midwestern...and I am not even married, yet. I've been in a committed relationship for over 4 years now...have a little one...but, have not tied the knot, yet. :shrug:
But, whoever said that Midwesterners are more family oriented than the Californians, I would agree with. California (IMHO) is more about who you are and how far in business you can go...
Also...it's so much cheaper to get married and raise a family in the Midwest. The average "middle-income" home is in the $400,000 range. :yikes: So, I could see the reluctance to get married and start a family with price tags like that
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
The average age of a first marriage is going up everywhere, but I lend the reasons that Midwesterners and Southerners tend to wed earlier are due to two things:
1. The primary reason for people not getting married so soon in recent years has a lot to do with their career aspirations. In the coastal regions there are simply a lot more career opportunities available. Midwesterners who want and desire those opportunities tend to get the hell out of here.
2. For whatever reason, we tend to follow the example that our parents set for us. If a mother got married early, its likely that her daughter would follow. Since early marriage has been more traditional in the Midwest and South people tend to go with the flow.
To be very honest, this is probably more of an urban versus rural phenomenon (can you say red state-blue state) than a regional one. In rural parts of California, you're more likely to see a Midwestern family culture than a "Californian" one. Just the same, you probably see a lot of Chicagoans holding out on getting hitched until they're older.
::)
Then of course, you have folks like me who have to fuck things up and break with tradition. Hell, I'm even a minority in my own family. Both my parents and all of my siblings had their first marriage by 25.
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
NOBODY gets married here anymore...quebeckers have rejected religion and marriage somewhere in the mid-80'S.. and I wanna be a wedding planner!! Damn!
I think Doc-catfish has it right!
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
its california-the beautiful capitol of the world (la at least) why would anyone want to settle down? there all beautiful people and "aspiring" actors
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
In the south,you are not normal unless you are married by 22 and have 2 or 3 kids by age 30.EVERYONE here that is my age has little kids.It kinda makes me wonder what's all the hooplah about.Because I don't have any kids,a lot of women think there is something wrong with me.
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
Is getting married more of a status thing or a this-is-what-you-do thing? Just wonderin what the hooplah is about to.
Yea, CA it is alot about who you know n such almost a grown up popularity contest and not so focused on getting married and having a family. I couldnt fathom being married or even having kids for that matter. Im still a big kid myself right now.
Would you think also that people grow up faster back East and South?
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
It is pretty much ingrained into the southern psyche that marriage and kids equals success.They don't realize that there are other indicators of success like careers and happiness.It is a this-is-what-you-do-thing to acheive status.Stupid,I know.
People grow up faster in the west.I know.I have lived in both places.
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
Quote:
Originally Posted by TigersMilk
Is getting married more of a status thing or a this-is-what-you-do thing? Just wonderin what the hooplah is about to.
When a single woman (even a college educated one) is growing up in a small town she is looking at the career options of being...
A.) a schoolteacher
B.) a waitress or bartender
C.) working some other service industry/factory job
...then the attractiveness of getting married so she has a husband to share financial burdens with goes up significantly.
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
That's also true.There are not nearly as many Fortune 500 companies or big industry in these places.
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
The coasts draw the elites in this country, and that has an impact on cultural norms. That said, it's just reflective of varying socio-economic conditions between the coasts and flyover country.
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
I live in the Midwest, and I do notice that people here tend to get married young. What happens a lot around here is a couple will be dating, the girl will get pregnant at age 18 or 19, so they'll "do the right thing" and get married. It's so old fashioned! LOL I know 3 different couples in high school that this happened to. I would say about 50% of the people I graduated high school with are either married or engaged to be married.
My family is not the norm-I'm 26 and I've never been married, and my sisters are 24 and 22 and they've never been married either. My mom's side of the family is so old-fashioned: they think you're an old maid if you're not married by age 24-25 because almost all of my cousins were married by that point. They bug me sometimes and say "So when are you going to find Mr. Right and settle down?" LOL
I was engaged at one point, but deep down I knew I wasn't ready to get married yet. Honestly, I don't think I ever want to get married or have children-it's great that it works out for some people, but family life isn't for everyone. I enjoy having only myself to be responsible for and doing whatever I want most of the time. LOL
I agree with everyone who says that the west coast/east coast tend to be more career-oriented while the Midwest and South are more family-oriented. In larger cities, getting married isn't such an issue either. When I worked at a law firm in Chicago, there were many women age 30 and up who were not married, and here in Wisconsin, it's rare if a woman has never been married by her thirtieth birthday.
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
I agree with Doc, I think the early marriage thing is more rural vs. urban than regional.
Not sure what it means but it appears that nationwide, girls are waiting until they are older to get married. From 1990 to 2002, the median age at first marriage for men rose from 26.1 to 26.9, a small increase. However, during the same period, the median age at first marriage for women rose from 23.9 to 25.3.
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
TM- just a thought especially since you are talking about SD. Are these young married people in the military (USMC or Navy)?
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
Well I'm from the midwest, and all my sisters got married before the age of 21!!!! What were they thinking? I'm not married...nor will I get married til I'm over the age of 40!!!....I think it is a midwestern thing.
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
Muyaha good question...only some of the marriages I was thinking of when I wrote the original post were miltary marriages. I figure military people were in the same bucket as non-military people.
But, the other people I was referring to were friends of friends who got married back home (home being back east).
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
Not getting married young is a fairly new concept in my opinion and the divorce rates aren't going down any.
Most people I know who have married young are still together and very happy. Some people find happiness in their partner and family.
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
i never considered a marriage and kids success.??.... thats crazy!!
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Re: Is this just Midwestern people?
^ I've heard some people say that, but usually they are married with kids already.