My Job Or My Ex Husband????
I have been dancing since i was 18 . I got pregnant and quit dancing back in 2002 . My Husband left me in November 2003. ( we got divorced ) i got my own place. I started dancing again in november 2004 . He found out and wasnt very happy with it .. we started " talking " again and i still love him alot . He is giving me the choice of him & our daughter being together or dancing . I told him i didnt want to quit dancing . He told me if i didnt quit dancing he wouldnt ever talk to me again. what should i do ? i really LOVE my job ! i make good money ! but i love him?
Re: My Job Or My Ex Husband????
Re: My Job Or My Ex Husband????
I'm sorry...but this is just bullshit.
Tell him to suck off. If he's going to be this immature, you don't need him. That doesn't mean that your daughter can't still be with him.
Of course, if you really want, you can just shuck away everything you want out of life to please him. I'm sure that will last a long time.
Happily ever after does not come because one person gives up the things they love to be with someone.
I say keep the job and find someone who's a little more grown up...or enjoy being a mother and single. ;)
Wish I could help more, though.
Good luck. :hug:
Re: My Job Or My Ex Husband????
Whenever an ultimatum is presented, that's proof enough that it's not a good relationship and not worth ditching whatever it is to save the relationship.
Screw him. What's to say he won't up and leave you again for another reason?
Re: My Job Or My Ex Husband????
It really depends on WHY he doesn't like you dancing. Is it because it has negative effects on your life? Or is he just being controlling?
Re: My Job Or My Ex Husband????
this doesn't sound the least bit healthy to me.
you've been dancing since you were eighteen.... were you dancing when you met this man? if so, he doesn't have much say in your choice to dance IMO.
also, if this man really loved you, would he make you choose between your job as a dancer, and him? this "love" sounds very conditional to me, if it is even love. beware.
Re: My Job Or My Ex Husband????
Quote:
Originally Posted by tampadancer
also, if this man really loved you, would he make you choose between your job as a dancer, and him? this "love" sounds very conditional to me, if it is even love. beware.
Love is ALWAYS conditional unless it is your momma's love - and even then for some people it is conditional.
There is nothing wrong with conditional love.
It is during unconditional love that people let themselves be abused.
Re: My Job Or My Ex Husband????
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhiannon
Whenever an ultimatum is presented, that's proof enough that it's not a good relationship and not worth ditching whatever it is to save the relationship.
Screw him. What's to say he won't up and leave you again for another reason?
I agree with this 100%!!! I couldn't have put it better my damn self.
Re: My Job Or My Ex Husband????
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deogol
Love is ALWAYS conditional unless it is your momma's love - and even then for some people it is conditional.
There is nothing wrong with conditional love.
It is during unconditional love that people let themselves be abused.
I agree... my love is most definelty conditional. I expect respect and if someone can't give it to me I leave... Life is too short. I am sure that there are things you would like to change about this man, is he willing to change?
Afterall, a career in dancing is a short-term thing really, he is too silly to realize that... If I were you I would offer the ultimatum! I think you have more of a leg to stand on. But I may be a little jaded to offer advice in the relationship category. :O
Re: My Job Or My Ex Husband????
Assuming your custody of your child will not change, I would suggest telling him to grow up or fuck off.
Re: My Job Or My Ex Husband????
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deogol
Love is ALWAYS conditional unless it is your momma's love - and even then for some people it is conditional.
There is nothing wrong with conditional love.
It is during unconditional love that people let themselves be abused.
Okay, I worded this wrong. I agree that the love you have in romantic relationships is always conditional (for example, I love my boyfriend but if he ever violently, physically hurt me, on that condition, the love would stop)
However, when love is SO conditional that a person is only going to love you if you "do this" and "say that" and "think this" - the conditions are too extreme.
"I love you, but ONLY if you aren't a dancer" seems like an extreme condition to me. Especially if she was dancing when they got together.
The only situation where this condition seems reasonable to me would be if dancing was combined with drug use, prostitution, excessive drinking, cheating, or the like. And in that case it is not the dancing that is the condition, but rather those other activities.
Okay, off my :soapbox:
Re: My Job Or My Ex Husband????
Right now you're a single mom......and I'm assuming that dancing is your only source of income. IMHO, your ex-husband is not being very loving or supportive of you and your child if he's demanding that you quit your job and lose your income. Before you even think about doing what he asks, (and personally I don't think you should even consider it anyway) make sure that he is able and willing to pay your bills and provide for you while you get a new job. If he's not willing to do that then he has no right whatsoever to ask you to stop. (Course I don't think he has a right to ask you to stop either way, but that's just me)
Best advice I can give you is to first and foremost look out for yourself and your child.
Re: My Job Or My Ex Husband????
Hun, something sounds off about that situation. You are doing fine supporting you child and taking care of yourself. What are his reasons for you quitting dancing? Is he worried for your safety or is he worried youre going to bang one of customers? Two different concerns there..only one is valid.
If he really wants to be w/ you he should try to understand why you dance and that you are safe. He should support you in every way possible....and really if anything at all he should try to be a good father to your daughter 1st.
Re: My Job Or My Ex Husband????
thanks for the help ! i told my ex to FUCK OFF and come back when he grows up
Re: My Job Or My Ex Husband????
GOOD FOR YOU,GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: My Job Or My Ex Husband????
Tell him to bugger off. Relationships arent about ultimatums.