The bill collectors have been calling every day - one of em every day two times a day. This is about stuff my ex-girlfriend has left unresolved. They have been leaving messages like three times a day for the last six months.
Today I been having a time funin with em.
One of them took me off the list right away. No fun.
The other one, was like:
Bastard Bill Collector: Can I have your last name
Me: [Deo's Last Name]
BBC: And your first
Me: [Deo's First Name]
BBC: I'm not bringing anything up by that name
BBC: Do you live at [someplace I don't live]
Me: Nope.
BBC: Can I have your social security number?
Me: Can I have yours?
Pause.
BBC: I can't help you without your social security...
Me: You called me, I don't need your help.
BBC: But I need your...
Me: Maybe I can help you out there
BBC: yes
Me: I'm a software engineer - maybe I can program your computers to tell you why you called me.
Pause.
Me: I mean, it has to be embarrassing to call someone up, and then when they call you back you don't know why you called to begin with.
BBC: I can't look you up without your social security number to determine if you should be called or not.
Me: Well, maybe that is something I can help you out with.
Pause.
BBC: Your social security number?
Me: Ah... I'm not inclined to give that out.
BBC: I can't remove you without knowing for what reason.
Me: Well, I guess I will let the answering machine continue to pick up your calls.
BBC: Ok.
Me: Bye!
BBC: Good day.
heh heh heh... I think I am gonna have a good time with this outfit. I bet I make this a daily occurance at night. It'll be like my very own entertainment show. Maybe I can get to know all those people on a first name basis and we will shoot the shit.
I think I will record the next one on my iPod. Hope it comes out!
