Giving up when I could still be making $$$
Hi Ladies!
Ok, so in the past few months I've gotten a lot better at convincing guys to buy dances, not sitting around talking to them for too long, just getting straight to the point and it's really been working for me. However, I am still having trouble making as much money as I know I can (I average about 200-300 a night, on really good nights the most I ever make is around 500) because after giving say 10 or 15 dances I just get so exhausted and worn-out and annoyed that I don't feel like talking to any more customers or doing any more dances.
Last night was a perfect night for making money, it was saturday, the club was PACKED and for some reason there was only 10 girls (there's usually around 30-40 girls on a saturday). I didn't even have to hustle, I just had customer after customer approaching me for dances, but after I'd made 300$ I went home because I just couldn't bring myself to do any more dances. The last guy I danced for I was so bored and annoyed and I just gave him a horrible dance. I know I could have made 500$ or more if I'd stuck around till the end of the night but I just couldn't.
I know I'm burnt out because I never used to feel this way, I used to honestly not mind dancing for guys at all and a lot of the time I really enjoyed it...but now it's starting to make me feel gross and after I've made around 2 bills I'll just stop trying because I just don't want to dance for guys anymore. I say no to customers all the time. I wish I could take some time off but that is just not an option for me at all right now. I work 5-7 days a week and that's going to continue for the next few months.
Anyway, does anyone else have this problem? What do you do to motivate yourself when you feel emotionally worn-out at work? What do you do when half-way through your shift you just feel like giving up, when you feel like you can't force yourself to keep acting sexy and smiling?
I know I could be making double what I'm making now if I could just find the right mindset to keep me going when I feel like giving up.
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
If you're burnt out, the best thing to do is take a little time off. I know you said that was not an option, but long-term, you might make more if you did. Or cut back the number of days you work? If you're workig 5 days, making $200 a day, that's $1,000. If you only worked 4 days, but made just a little more, say $250, you'd still make the same $1,000, but would have an extra day off. You might try it and see. If you can't work less or take a little time off, you might treat yourself to something special. Maybe some time at a day spa? I occasionally treat myself to that.
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
^^^^ what she said... you reach a point of diminishing returns when you work too much and get to feeling like this. I set goals like.. I need to do 25 dances today and regardless of the tips I get or VIPs I keep going for it. I end up with more than I meant to that way, usually.
The physical stamina will come.. mine waxes and wanes... but when you are burnt out you just won't be able to put the effort in.
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
I work 4 8-hour shifts and one 4 hour shift a week. This is how I do it.
If all else fails, say to yourself, "I am jsut going to do this ONE more dance, and I am going to do it well because after that, I am going home." ANd then after that dance, do just ONE more, and just ONE more . . . .
If you have the option of going home early, then jsut fix it in your mind that your shift is form x time until y time, just like a day job would be. You could not go home early if you worked in an office! For example, my shift is 8pm to one am, but I have the opion to stay until 4. I jsut tell myself and plan my days as if I HAVE to stay until 4, and then I usually do. Besides, what else are you going to do at that hour anyway?
I used to take short breaks in the dressing room but that jsut totally spoiled my momentum, so I woudln't recommend it. It works great for some other dancers.
Sometimes I sit with a regular for a few minutes. I tell him I am jsut taking a break/need to get off my feet/whatever. THen we chat about non-club stuff for a few minutes and when a new guy comes in, I can tell him, "Oh. I better go try to sell some dances!" This works better for me than getting off the floor all toghether.
Also, I carry power bars and a water bottle in my bag. If you really are getting exhausted, a short snack/water break can work wonders.
A change of shoes can help a lot, too. If you raise or lower you heel by an inch, it will cahnge the way your leg muscles are being worked, and make it a little easier to keep going. I like slip-ons for the end of a long night, because I can put them on and off and continually change my elevation.
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
The brain as well as the rest of the body soon gets to the point where it will not function.
Sometimes after a real hectic night, my brain just refusess to allow me any thing other than just the base normal functions. Also sometimes when it gets to this point, well, it comes from the same same old source and thoughts turn to suicide. But I never do it, just the thought of it just gets me through, as Nietzsche has said,
The thought of suicide is great consolation, it has gotten many through many a bad night.
So, then, what is to be done? What has brought me to this state? As I know it,
Burnout doesn't occur overnight. It is a cumulative process, beginning with small warning signals that, when unheeded, can progress into a profound and lasting dread of going to work.
More,
Moodiness and irritability over trivial provocations signal impending burnout. You experience a feeling of emotional tautness, as if the slightest inconvenience is enough to make you snap. The process is similar to overloading an electrical circuit: One additional demand for energy, no matter how small, blows a fuse.
Consequences
1. Frustration.
Life is fraught with frustration. There are always some barriers preventing us from getting what we want. In small doses frustration can be a helpful emotion, spurring us on to try new methods or to find alternatives to a problem. Then we expand and grow. But when frustrations are continual and unsolvable, the stage is set for feelings of futility: "Why bother? There's no point. It's hopeless. I can't do anything anyway." If you feel frustrated most of the time in carrying out the responsibilities of your job, you are experiencing an early symptom of burnout.
2. Depression.
Coping with constant feelings of negativity and futility can run down the emotional batteries of even the most enthusiastic person. The result is feelings of profound depression and a kind of emotional and spiritual exhaustion where you feel like you're running on one watt, without the resiliency to recharge.
While depression may begin as a response to a job situation, it can become a problem in itself, leading to poor health and impaired work performance.
3. Emotional Withdrawl.
People caught in the burnout cycle withdraw. By cutting themselves off from friends and colleagues they deprive themselves of the support they desperately need.
4. Modes of Self Destruction.
Health Problems. Substance Abuse. Declining Performance.
5. Conclusion.
Just another application of the infamous "Peter Principle",
The infamous "Peter Principle" postulates that people rise through promotion after promotion in organizations until they reach their level of incompetence, where they stay. The person functions, but in a diminished capacity
The same here, just call the promotions, more money, more money, more money.
Heck, I'm beginning to sound like a therapist.
Whenever it has gotten to this state, I just say,"THE HELL WITH IT", kick the can over to the other side of the room and just leave. This is the best solution. Cut the KNOT!
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
Maybe it's a good idea to take some time off to recharge and possibly reconsider your career options.
:-*
It's similiar to a sales job where you constantly have to converse with people you wouldn't normally talk too and also being hassled for OTC's and extras, rudeness from inconsiderate customers can be a drain on anyone.
Plus the late hours can be rough on your system.
:listen: Be good to yourself.. Take a week or 2 off. You'll feel better soon.
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
Personaliy, and this is just how I act, maybe not the best advice for you situatin... but what's the problem with leaving early?
If I've made 300 and I'm just burnt out for the night and I have the option to do it... I go home. Yeah, I culd make more money, but if 300 that night pays the bills, keeps some for putting away, some to spend...
I work enough to get my bills paid and to put a little away. If you make that much in 4 or 6 hours, or whatever, why stay longer if you're burnt out? Maybe you can't take a weekly or monthly break right now, but maybe cutting back those hours a night can be enough of a break for a little while?
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
I danced for 5 1/2 years, and about 90% of the time I wasn't happy with it. Every few months, I fell into a rut. I regularly turned down dances and felt that I should be doing something else (anything else.) My tolerance from men went from very high down to nothing...
These things helped me get through it: (1) focusing on my goals, and how dancing allowed me to achieve them, (2) time off, (3) DancerWealth seminar
Don't worry, a lot of us go through this.... you will be okay :)
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
Quote:
Originally Posted by Izzy
Hi Ladies!
Ok, so in the past few months I've gotten a lot better at convincing guys to buy dances, not sitting around talking to them for too long, just getting straight to the point and it's really been working for me. However, I am still having trouble making as much money as I know I can (I average about 200-300 a night, on really good nights the most I ever make is around 500) because after giving say 10 or 15 dances I just get so exhausted and worn-out and annoyed that I don't feel like talking to any more customers or doing any more dances.
Last night was a perfect night for making money, it was saturday, the club was PACKED and for some reason there was only 10 girls (there's usually around 30-40 girls on a saturday). I didn't even have to hustle, I just had customer after customer approaching me for dances, but after I'd made 300$ I went home because I just couldn't bring myself to do any more dances. The last guy I danced for I was so bored and annoyed and I just gave him a horrible dance. I know I could have made 500$ or more if I'd stuck around till the end of the night but I just couldn't.
I know I'm burnt out because I never used to feel this way, I used to honestly not mind dancing for guys at all and a lot of the time I really enjoyed it...but now it's starting to make me feel gross and after I've made around 2 bills I'll just stop trying because I just don't want to dance for guys anymore. I say no to customers all the time. I wish I could take some time off but that is just not an option for me at all right now. I work 5-7 days a week and that's going to continue for the next few months.
Anyway, does anyone else have this problem? What do you do to motivate yourself when you feel emotionally worn-out at work? What do you do when half-way through your shift you just feel like giving up, when you feel like you can't force yourself to keep acting sexy and smiling?
I know I could be making double what I'm making now if I could just find the right mindset to keep me going when I feel like giving up.
This is a very emotional job. I understand how you feel. It's not like working in retail sales. We have to put up with a lot more bullshit, mind games, rude customers, etc... The way I look at it, if your burned out then go home. If you force yourself to stay longer, you might be less likely to want to go to work the next day. If you tell yourself, I need to leave and then leave, I think you might feel better.
If you just feel that you have to make more money then make a game out of it. When you start to feel burned out tell yourself that you will treat yourself (to whatever you like to do the most, for me it's shopping) with the extra money that you make if you stay 1 more hour.
Good luck ;)
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
When I get tired, I get tired. I don't go into a whole lot of soul searching why I am. I just am. And I need rest. And if I think a vacation would cheer me up, I take one.
Damn, anything gets old after a while. and if it gets to the point where it affects your health, both mental and physical, I quit doiing what I was doing.
Hey we are running out of time here, the almighty clock is ticking. Go do what you got to do. Be happy!
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
for me it only works if i have a goal, like buying a new car, vacation etc..... I completely understand where you are coming from. To be at the club just to pay the bills doens't work for me either. But as soon as I have a goal the $$$ comes in and i make double. It's all in your mind!
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
I know this may sound dumb since I haven't been working long at all, but I felt the same way...I just wanted to go home. The thing that kept me going was the money. I'm naked, I am working my bootie off physically and emotionally. What's the point of working that hard for so little cash. The job is way too hard and I am going to milk every second of it to make as much as I can. I could "get by" on another job with less effort, but while my clothes are off I better make good money and thensome. That is the ONLY thing that kept me going. The harder I work today, the less I will in the long run.
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
I don't understand why you set your mental limit at $300.
Why not $500? For that matter, why not $200?
I believe that once you feel like your night is worth $500, then you will be making that.
I set high goals for myself and put money in the bank as soon as I get it. I won't touch money in the bank for anything other than mortgage, car, taxes and investments....no silly stuff. This means I'm usually "cash poor", which motivates me. If I have $1000 sitting at home, I'm going to be a lot less motivated.
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
I always set a minimum goal for myself, then if I hit that goal all the other money I make I get to spend on myself. Its hard to work to pay the electric bill, but if I'm working to go shopping the next day I get a lot more motivated. Another thing I do is if I make x amount a week. If I make that after only a few days of work I get to take the rest of the week off and do something fun. When I get frustrated at work I usually sit with a club regular for a few minutes (you know they're not going to buy dances, but will usually give a 5 minute backrub or buy you a drink)
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
I just make it a rule not to leave before I've made $400++, but I am contrarily not very good at counting my money. I think if I keep a running tally in my head, I'll jinx myself somehow.
For me, since my back and legs still aren't accustomed to the shoes/dancing yet, five to seven hours is about my limit, and I know that. However, with that $$ goal in mind, I end up working a lot smarter in the beginning of my shift so that I don't have to stay that long. Ironically, I came home the other day with $700 after a five hour shift (which was a lot of luck too), but I think it's because I set myself up mentally to not even consider leaving before I have met the goal-- not knowing exactly how many dances I had sold, I just kept hustling to the max, even though I pretty well knew my goal was met. It sounds vague, but it keeps me going and translates into more initiative for the hustle.
Also, this might just be me, but I'd prefer working multiple nights with shorter shifts (ie- five or four nights with five hours each) rather than a couple really long shifts. This approach gives me maximum stamina.
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
I know exactly what you mean!!! I've been going through this myself recently. I am used to working 3-4 shifts per week, but I've been doing 5 per week for the last few months. I feel like I've lost most of my desire to hustle. Thank goodness for a few good regulars who make my shift a lot more tolerable (and fun).
I'm gonna take a week off to do NOTHING!!!!! I can't wait, next week!!! YEAH!!
Then I'm going to drop back to no more than 4 shifts a week. I can't make $$ when I am tired and grumpy. It doesn't seem to help my money making abilities. As ironic as it seems, I think I make more $$ when I work less.
Hugs to you!! :hug:
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
When I start feeling tired mid-shift, I get a custy to buy me a sugar free red bull and since I try and only drink these when I need a peak.... I know I won't be able to go home and go to bed right after drinking one so i trick myself into working a few more hours....
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
When I was dancing regularly I would set a min. $ goal for my week nights and a min. $ goal for the weekend. I was working only 2 weeknights and both weekend nights. I found that sticking with 4 - 8hr shifts kept me from getting so burnt out. If one of the nights turned out to be slower than I knew I'd have to work doubly hard the next. So it was a good push for me to make the most $ I could at the beginning of each shift so that if I did get burnt out by 1 I could leave instead of dealing with the bar ending crowd that doesn't have much money left or my own attitude after dancing for 7 hours!
Normally I would count my money when I went to clean up and change before going on stage again. At each $100 mark I would roll up my cash, rubberband it, and put it in my lockbox. Sometimes I would forget how many times I had rolled up my money and by 1 I would realize I had more (or less) rolls than I thought. Keeping my mind off my money by putting it in my lockbox helped; it made me work harder to make another $100.
Also, if you are working 5-7 days in a row, you NEED a mental break for at least 3 days following that many days on shift. It is mentally and physically exhausting to not get in the appropriate rest when you are doing a job like this. You don't want to be dancing at 30 if you feel like your 50. The time off also helps you focus on more than dancing so you have more to talk to customers about which will help keep you from getting so bored when you are working.
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
I'm going through the same thing. Sometimes it takes everything in me to just make my stage fee. I've always been a good money maker, and now I just feel tired. The only thing I could suggest would be to maybe cut your shifts down if you can. Just do 3 a week instead of 5 and you should be able to take better advantage of those busier nights. AND, it's O.K. to walk away sometimes. It's better to walk away than to snap at a customer and get in trouble with management. Take care of you!!!
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
I just trick myself: this week and next week its hair exstentions and Go Smile. I know Im only going to buy one. One is more than the other.
I just hate being poor and right now thats enough for me. Its a really good feeling to know that if my car suddenly dies or something big happens I will be able to replace it super fast.
If money lust doesnt get you. Then I would make it a point to take a moment. I will take a week off sometimes (more like 4-5 days) consecutively and just veg being me. Might work for you too.
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
Things I do to overcome burnout:
1. Work in an unfamiliar club for a while. That keeps me on my toes and refeshes my attitude.
2. Put together a feature show and then do it on a busy night. Adreniline will keep the money flowing and your energy level up for hours!
3.Set small goals. If you are stuck at $300 try going up to $320. That is just a small step but that equeals and extra $100 a week in income. Trying to go from $300 to $500 is too big of a chunck to take on at once, and on a regular basis.
4. Have another source of income. I sell dancer costumes, have an ebay store, and work for a bachelor/bachelorette booking agency. Lots of different things going on keeps me from getting bored.
Re: Giving up when I could still be making $$$
I second all the people who said to work less shifts. If you weren't burned out it sounds like you'd be making the same amount of money in one shift if you stayed the whole times as you're making in two shifts.