need help talkin to custys
Yesterday i worked during the day and although it was the slowest i have ever seen it, i used some lines and techniques i found in here and wow...did they ever work! I used to always ask the custys what they did for a living, i never thought it would make them uncomfortable, so instead i said "do you enjoy your job?" And the response i got from them was amazing. They all smiled, said yes and started talking about other things they enjoy and also without realizing it they told me what they did for a living.
I used to think it was okay to use the line "wanna dance" but i was wrong. so yesterday i tried the "we've been having such a fun time talking, do you want to continue the fun upstairs?" they all said yes!!
but i'm still having problems talking to them for 7 minutes. It feels like i run out of things to say if the custy is boring. Anyone have advice on what to say? I'll ask about their weekend, sports(it's what is on the tv @ my work), i found myself talking about weather once...that's when i realized i need help keeping the conversation alive. :O
oh i almost forgot, my good regular comes in every 2 weeks to see me and after seeing me he'll go to my old club to see one of my best friends. This has been working for all of us for a few months but yesterday she came to my club and auditioned. Now i'm worried that she'll take the custy away from me. (she's a very jealous person and the fact that i make more than her upsets her). What should i do? I emailed the custy and told him b/c i didn't want him to get a rude shock this saturday when he came in, but other than that, i don't know what to do. When he comes in should i just go up to him like normal? I could cry. I feel like she did this on purpose(came to my club).
Re: need help talkin to custys
Hi Hannah
About the 7 minute barrier, the best conversationalists say very little ...they ask questions about the other person and listen...
Probably not what you want to hear regarding one of your best friend but there is an old saying "Friends are never competition".
Hope this helps
Re: need help talkin to custys
Luke is right...in a selling conversation, it's not what you say, it's what you don't say that counts. The best thing to do is use open ended questions that drive to a point of having fun in some way. You were already on the right track with the job question (what do you ENJOY about your job) but keep up with them. "So, you're from out of town...what do you usually do for excitement when you come to (insert city name)?"; "What's something you have fun doing when you aren't coming into the club? etc. etc. etc. Get them used to opening up to what is fun, and exciting, and entertaining, and things they enjoy and they will soon start to make a subconscious connection of those things to you. There are more powerful ways to do this, but for the sake of simplicity, we'll stick to this right now. So get them to open up about these things and soon they will start to make a connection of these things to you. So now, when you are ready to close the deal, use one of the words that you used in one of these questions such as, "Would you like to have some REAL excitement? Let me do a dance for you" or " If you thought that (insert thing he said) was fun, letting me dance for you will be even ten times better." etc.
Re: need help talkin to custys
Here's one good conversation experience I had with a dancer...
I went to a club in a different city, and I stopped into the SC on the first night I was there. When she found out I was from out of town, we talked for twenty minutes about the local scene - other bars, resturants, the local sports, and even the other SC's! She was like a zagats tour guide or something, and gave me great ideas about where else to go while I was visiting. So, learn all about your local area, and find at have at least one thing about your city to brag about to the out-of-town custies. Don't be critical of other clubs and other SC's - even if they really ARE shitty. Don't worry about losing my business to other clubs and entertainment options in the same city. After all, I AM in your club THAT night, and its not likely that I'll go back twice during the same trip, even if yours is the best club ever. That dancer's recomendation of other clubs that I really enjoyed (she knew of course, that I was a fan of SC's), and the good conversation that resulted went a long way when I'm making my tip / LD budget for that night.
And now a bad experience....
Ladies - if you are a student, and ESPECIALLY if you're not, don't give us a bunch of crap about working your way through school and struggling to pay your tuition. It's so old and played, and it is a transparent moaning about your being low on cash. We know that there are plenty of other ways to get financial aid for college, and there are too many other aspects of school that are more interesting to talk about. (your classes, your career dreams, etc.)
This tuition story might work on some older guys, but if your custy is a student himself (or a recent graduate) it just comes off as pathetic. I'm a full-time graduate student myself, and so when I go to the club, chances are, I'm spending the money that should go to my OWN tuition or student loan bills. Your sad story is a guilt reminder of my own bills and school stresses and it closes my wallet in a damn hurry. Worse, it's just annoying.
Good luck! dd
Re: need help talkin to custys
Quote:
Originally Posted by dirrtyd
Ladies - if you are a student, and ESPECIALLY if you're not, don't give us a bunch of crap about working your way through school and struggling to pay your tuition. It's so old and played, and it is a transparent moaning about your being low on cash. We know that there are plenty of other ways to get financial aid for college, and there are too many other aspects of school that are more interesting to talk about. (your classes, your career dreams, etc.)
This tuition story might work on some older guys, but if your custy is a student himself (or a recent graduate) it just comes off as pathetic. I'm a full-time graduate student myself, and so when I go to the club, chances are, I'm spending the money that should go to my OWN tuition or student loan bills. Your sad story is a guilt reminder of my own bills and school stresses and it closes my wallet in a damn hurry. Worse, it's just annoying.
Good luck! dd
What if I'm not complaining about paying for school, just being honest as to my motivations for dancing? I try to stay very positive in all my conversations (ie- "I really love my program, and this just seemed like a fun, sexy job with flexible hours that could help me through it..."), and I never imply that
dancing is the only way I could pay for school. However, I definitely mention that I'm a student when they say "what are you doing here?" etc. I never thought this was a bad move...should I not mention my being a student, if asked?
Re: need help talkin to custys
^^^ sounds like you are doing ok on the student question..
Re: need help talkin to custys
How about after the light chat has ended, sit close, take one of his hands, hold it palm facing you and give a good hand massage.
This feels wonderful (I have even given them to unsuspecting dancers to their amazement to how good it feels). You are giving of yourself and will most likely have him accept the dance you ask for.
It works with me everytime! ;)
Rick
Re: need help talkin to custys
Quote:
Originally Posted by mollyzmoon
...should I not mention my being a student, if asked?
No no, I think you have a good technique and these topics would be fine. If you enjoy your school, and you really ARE a student, then that's your LIFE, and your genuine stories and topics will flow from there. This also works well if your customer is a student too - then you have something in common, esp if you go to the same school!
I was specifically talking about moaning about your school, the same way you wouldn't go on and on complaining about your home troubles, your car payment, or the creditors who might be looking for you. I think everyone would agree that whining and looking for pity tips, no matter how bad you need them, is always a turn-off.
My "bad experience" came from a dancer who was obviously lying to me about her story. I guess that one of the older dancers told her this would be a good character to play or something. I knew she wasn't in school cause her story fell apart when I asked her just a couple of questions about it, but then she kept it going for several minutes - and she only talked about money, her bills, and how she HATED stripping but was just trying to save enough to "escape" - after about five mintues, I was ready to escape myself.
So just keep the conversation positive, and honest - you'll do fine.
Re: need help talkin to custys
I agree about not lying about going to school.
When I first stared dancing, I was new & young which made me feel like I had to say I was in school or I'd look like a real loser. So I'm talking to this customer about going to NYU for business and he's real intersted, then he asks me so what's the name of the business school & I said "I already mentioned I go to NYU", then he repeats himself and says "but what's the name of the business school side of it". Now I know he's on to me, so I was like I don't know & then he says "I went to NYU also and it's the Stern school of business", then he laughed. I felt so dumb especially since the conversation fell apart like that AND he didn't get a dance from me.
Now I am in school part-time so I don't have to lie.
Re: need help talkin to custys
^^Like using a phony Russian accent on a real Russian...
back to topic, what's the big deal with 7 minutes? Is that a rule at your club? Otherwise I don't think you need to wait that long to ask, unless it is just because you are enjoying the conversation... don't wait for things to get dull - as long as you aren't asking right away, seems like you should try to pitch while the convo is lively.
Re: need help talkin to custys
Is it the length of coversation that is involved here?
Damn, if the conversation last longer than 5 minutes, you are wasting your time.
Most cusomers admittedly come to a SC to watch dances, not talk.
Why talk with a dancer, when you can talk to a girl bartender, bus girl for nothing?
Customer just coming in will require some time to relax, get used to the surrondings, blah, blah, blah, you just got to keep watching them. But after a while, approach, and strike up a conversation. Should get going in about 3 to 5 minutes at the most.
Re: need help talkin to custys
You can always say that you've taken a sabbatical to save up money to pay for school. And that you dont' want to work while you're in school because you want to be able to concentrate on it completely. If they ask where, tell them that you haven't made your final decision yet.
Re: need help talkin to custys
I've seen your pics in the Photos thread, and if guys are lasting more than 3 minutes before getting a dance, you could always talk about their unfortunate blindness. :)
Re: need help talkin to custys
Quote:
Originally Posted by mollyzmoon
What if I'm not complaining about paying for school, just being honest as to my motivations for dancing? I try to stay very positive in all my conversations (ie- "I really love my program, and this just seemed like a fun, sexy job with flexible hours that could help me through it..."), and I never imply that
dancing is the only way I could pay for school. However, I definitely mention that I'm a student when they say "what are you doing here?" etc. I never thought this was a bad move...should I not mention my being a student, if asked?
Im not a student But often am asked if im "working my way through school" when i reply that im not im often surprised by disapointed looks. Should I play into the fantasy?
Re: need help talkin to custys
Just wanted to throw in my two cents...
Sometimes when a guys is "boring" or quiet, it is because he just doesn't want to have a conversation. Sometimes, I just get sick of small talk and am not in the mood for deep conversation and just want to veg out. I still enjoy company and closeness, I just don't feel like talking.
As far as the "best friend" goes, I think it is time to re-evaluate your relationship. Best friends do not get jealous of each other. They are happy when the other succeeds and will never intentionally hurt the other.
It doesn't really sound like this person you are talking about is your "best friend" but rather just a familiar acquaintance. In that frame of mind, to hell with her if she stands in your way. The custy will do whatever he wants, just be who you have always been. Don't fight over him, that is just silly. Accept his decision and move forward.
Re: need help talkin to custys
I was just thinking about something and I thought this might be a good place to post about it.
guys like to solve problems.... give a guy a problem he can solve for you and he will feel like the king of the world... present an insoluble problem and he just might react like a rat on meth trapped in a maze with no exit...
at least I think that's true... however, I'm no salesman, so the question is, how can that trait be used to help the sale?
Re: need help talkin to custys
Quote:
Originally Posted by Archangel
Sometimes when a guys is "boring" or quiet, it is because he just doesn't want to have a conversation. Sometimes, I just get sick of small talk and am not in the mood for deep conversation and just want to veg out. I still enjoy company and closeness, I just don't feel like talking.
:-\ When a custy stops chatting, looks at the stage show, it usually means he's not interested or you haven't pitched to him the right way.
Re: need help talkin to custys
Or it could mean that he's been talking to strangers for 9 hours straight at work and is just sick of it and doesn't want to do it for a little while. A light touch on the hand or neck may be the spark needed to close the deal when conversation lags.
If he still says no, then luvbuniz is quite right. "He's just not that into you." ;)
Re: need help talkin to custys
I also think 7 minutes is a little too long to talk with someone. The patron will know within 3 minutes (the length of one song) if he is "into" you or not... hence you should keep your conversation positive, light, brief and ABC (Always Be Closing)....
I personally stick to a script in note form:
* Introduction / Names and Location
* Been to club before?
* Purpose of visit: to club and/or to town/city (if tourist)
* If they're a local and I'm a visitor - get info about city
* Ask for dance
As has been mentioned before, a good conversationist actually doesn't do alot of talking... they are mainly a listener. They listen to the conversation of the other person and take cues from what that person is saying to keep them talking.
Whilst I can talk for well.. a very damn long time about everything and anything.. I only do so if requested or the customer (repeat: customer not patron) wants me to do all the talking.
If do come up against a 'non-talker', it pays to keep the conversation brief and up the contact (unintrusive things like a hand on his knee, leg over his leg, hand massage, brushing his neck with your fingers, etc).
Re: need help talkin to custys
Quote:
Originally Posted by dlabtot
I was just thinking about something and I thought this might be a good place to post about it.
guys like to solve problems.... give a guy a problem he can solve for you and he will feel like the king of the world... present an insoluble problem and he just might react like a rat on meth trapped in a maze with no exit...
at least I think that's true... however, I'm no salesman, so the question is, how can that trait be used to help the sale?
I've been thinking about something similar, more as a pitch for an hourly rate/champagne than for the initial dance...say he offers to buy a drink, come back with, "Thank you, Joe Schmoe! I'd LOVE to have a drink and get to know you better! I'm having a such a great time with you, I can almost forget I'm at work! The thing is...I can't stay if I'm not making money...tell me, Joe, what can we do to fix that?"
Although, I haven't been making much $$$ lately, so what do I know...? :'(