-
The "You da Man" Quiz
*Author's Note* At the risk of putting myself in that select group of males who shall remain unnamed but will be referred to colletively as d*r*ks, I have devised the following quiz. Some of it is my own creation, some of it is stolen, but all of it is written in fun.**
It's hard to believe, but FOOTBALL season is once again upon us, meaning it's time to put away the Male Sensitivity books for another year, get ready for a testosterone overdose, and take our world famous and award winning
YOU DA MAN QUIZ!!!
In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing.
C. Taking the tunnel to the promised land.
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.
3. You time your orgasm so that:
A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don't miss ESPN Sportscenter.
4. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.
5. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
A. Of no importance to your affectionate feelings for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.
6. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A moron.
7. Foreplay is to sex as:
A. Appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.
8. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
A. "I hope we can still be friends."
B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
C. "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."
9. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort ofintimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
10. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need to ever find out about.
Evaluating Results:
If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.
If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're a little confused.
If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!"