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Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
Of all the things that I just don't get as a dancer, this is one of them. Let me illustrate...
So, I am on stage, having fun as usual. I can't really do any tricks, but I have a good time on stage and I give guys LOTS of eye contact. I make eye contact with a gentleman near the stage. He turns his chair around and stares and stares, big goofy smile on his face. He even turns to one of his friends and comments about me, the other friend smiles really big as well. So, he stares at me my ENTIRE set. I'm thinking, "GREAT! He must be interested! I'll be sure to chat with him and ask for a dance when I get off stage."
I proceed to do so.
Me: "Hi, my name is ******. What's your name?"
Him: "My name is ****. Nice to meet you."
Me: "How are you this evening?"
Him: "I'm good. Wow, you are sooo beautiful. SUCH a beautiful woman. Probably one of the best looking girls in here!"
Me: "Awww! Thank you very much! Would you like for me to dance for you since you think I'm so pretty?"
Him: "Well...not right now...I'm kind of waiting on someone. Maybe later."
Me: "Sure thing. I'll see you later!"
Hmmm. I thought it was odd that I didn't get the immediate score. But, maybe he was sitting with someone else beforehand who I didn't know about.
So, after about 30 to 40 minutes, my stage set comes up. AGAIN, he is staring me down, I mean, looking at NO ONE ELSE. Same big goofy smile on his face. I figured, it's later, so I go and chat.
Me: "Hey you! How's it going?"
Him: "Great. Lots of fun here!"
Me: "Glad to hear you're having a good time! So, some time has gone by, you ready for some entertainment from me?"
Him: "Oh, not just yet. I promised this other girl I'd get a dance from her pretty soon. But, I promise I will get at LEAST one dance from you tonight because you are soooo hot!"
Me: "Okay then. Well, whenever you're ready, just come look for me."
Do you think that promised dance ever came? NOPE!!
What the HELL is up with this? Why do guys do stupid shit like this? I can understand if maybe a guy thinks you're hot but, he's broke. Maybe all he was able to afford was admission to the club and the cheapest drink on the menu. If you're broke, you're just broke!
I can even understand a guy who maybe has the money, but is just being cheap and came for the free show.
But I do NOT understand guys who stare at you as if you're the most beautiful thing they've ever seen, then say NO to getting dances from you...but turn around and get SEVERAL dances from someone else (or several other GIRLS at that!).
Ladies, what do you think of this?
And custies...WHY THE HELL DO YOU DO THIS????
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
I think I wouldn't have gone back to him.
The only time I go back to guys is if they just walk in and I introduce myself to them and then tell them I'll be back after they've settled in.
I had this guy by the stage last night who actually put his hand in my face and waved me away, he was at my tip rail during my set, I almost choked him and I have been known to choke and scream at guys who piss me off.
Anyway screw that guy who was staring and not paying, his loss.
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
F*cking with your head. Don't give this kind of guy the time of day anymore. Precious minutes of your life will be saved.
(On occasion, some men will come in thinking they can become "friends" with dancers and fancy themselves better than paying customers because they're your "friends." Dancers have NO "friends" at work.)
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
I actually have this little group of vip friends at rhino, they just buy bottles and few dances, they are always good for a little drink break.
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
I have chatted for free to appear busy. But I have no patience with the wanker who comes in thinking he is "too good" to spend money...etc..etc....Other businesses do not allow loitering, ours should be the same.
In my years as a dancer I have met few men I would consider true friends. To quote Annie Lennox, "Everybody's looking for something..."
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
I actually tell bouncers if I think a guy isnt spending enough, sometimes they will give them a nice warning.
like those guys who just come in for a beer.
go to a freakin bar asshole.
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
I imagine some men feel that paying a large cover charge and buying incredibly overpriced drinks entitles us to look around a bit.
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
Sounds like you might have hit him with the sale of a lapdance way to soon IMO.
You set in with the hustle after hello and thats the response you got from him,like he was being hustled.
I think you hitting him the first time so fast wasnt so bad,the second time you went to talk to him,you should have spent at least a song with conversation before poping the question again so soon.
I take it he tipped you on stage,or you would have mentioned that also,so I would just look at it as stage fan and move on,no big deal.
I think if you get this alot,you should give a lil time before popping the lapdance question.
"hello,my name is ****,wanna dance?"just doesnt work with alot of guys and its more of a turn off then a turn on.
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
Quote:
Originally Posted by JumbliesMan
I imagine some men feel that paying a large cover charge and buying incredibly overpriced drinks entitles us to look around a bit.
sorry to sound rude, but most girls arent there to dance for free and we dont get a dime of that cover charge or drink price. go to a normal bar dude and find a girl who shows her shit off for free.
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
Quote:
Originally Posted by JumbliesMan
I imagine some men feel that paying a large cover charge and buying incredibly overpriced drinks entitles us to look around a bit.
Yeah, you are entitled to look around, and the ladies are entitled to diss you as a cheapskate...
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
To BigGreen,
Acutually, I DO normally spend at least a song or two talking to a guy before I "pop the question" to a guy. FYI - we chatted for about a song before I popped the question - BOTH times. What you got was basically a "synopsis" of what was said. I didn't include all the small talk (been to the club before...where are you from, etc, etc). I even SAT DOWN with him the second time.
To JumbliesMan,
I agree that after paying the cover and buying overpriced drinks, you should be able to sit down for a bit and take in the scenery. It's okay to take a bit to see what's around and who you'd like to get dances from. I NEVER approach a guy until he's had time to at least drink half of his drink. By then, he's had time to get a feel for the place and see who he may or may not like.
However, a cover charge and the cheapest beer on the menu does NOT entitle the customer to a free show all night long! Either you chill at the bar and at least tip the girls on stage as they come around or you should get dances and/or champagne rooms. Yes, the girls are there for your entertainment - IF YOU PAY THEM FOR IT.
To the Other Ladies,
Thanks for pointing out the "mind fuck" to me. I forgot that some of these guys are such losers that they come into strip clubs to feel good about being able to turn a good looking woman down more than once (FYI - guys, I do NOT think all guys who frequent SCs are losers; many of you truly are nice guys and gentlemen looking for a good time; but you KNOW some of you are pieces of shit and full of shit!!!!!). Arggg!! Damn time wasters!
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
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Originally Posted by madmaxine
F*cking with your head. Don't give this kind of guy the time of day anymore. Precious minutes of your life will be saved.
(On occasion, some men will come in thinking they can become "friends" with dancers and fancy themselves better than paying customers because they're your "friends." Dancers have NO "friends" at work.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by neve
sorry to sound rude, but most girls arent there to dance for free and we dont get a dime of that cover charge or drink price. go to a normal bar dude and find a girl who shows her shit off for free.
EXACTLY!!! WE pay alot more than any customer does just for walking in the door. Cover and drinks don't buy the show. You guys can argue til your blue in the face that it does, but NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! IT DOES NOT!!!
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
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Originally Posted by JumbliesMan
I imagine some men feel that paying a large cover charge and buying incredibly overpriced drinks entitles us to look around a bit.
Hold up a second.. she went back not once, but twice.. if she went over once and said this then yes.. you would have reason to complain. Paying the cover does entitle you to come in and hang out and look. As for the incredibly overpriced drink issue - we'll address that shortly. ;D
Getting into the place means you have enough cash to get in, the highest cover fee I ever paid to get in a club was twenty dollars.. Chicks with escorts usually get in free. It however doesn't entitle you to be a cheesy lurker - what that guy told her was a straight up brush off line " I'm waiting for someone" Bah, makes me think of those hairy chested, silky shirt wearing dorks from the seventies, complete with a toothpick and a slathering of gold chains. Yuck. Strip clubbing is a participation sport gents and ladies not a recreational one. :O
As for the ( as you so eloquently put it ) highly overpriced drinks, don't get one, then you can sit there, by yourself and save your money for whatever it is that you do. Or you can stay home with the ever popular HBO, case of beer and tube'o'lube - or visit a regular bar that caters to the more thrifty minded. ;)
Miss R
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
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Originally Posted by BrainyDancerGirl
Of all the things that I just don't get as a dancer, this is one of them. Let me illustrate...
So, I am on stage, having fun as usual. I can't really do any tricks, but I have a good time on stage and I give guys LOTS of eye contact. I make eye contact with a gentleman near the stage.... So, he stares at me my ENTIRE set. I'm thinking, "GREAT! He must be interested! I'll be sure to chat with him and ask for a dance when I get off stage."
Do you think that promised dance ever came? NOPE!!
What the HELL is up with this? Why do guys do stupid shit like this? I can understand if maybe a guy thinks you're hot but, he's broke....I can even understand a guy who maybe has the money, but is just being cheap and came for the free show....But I do NOT understand guys who stare at you as if you're the most beautiful thing they've ever seen, then say NO to getting dances from you...but turn around and get SEVERAL dances from someone else (or several other GIRLS at that!).
And custies...WHY THE HELL DO YOU DO THIS????
Ok - firstly, motivations for us custy's going to strip venues vary. Some treat it as light-hearted fun, some are obsessed with getting mileage. Some guys come in to see a particular dancer, other come in to sample a variety of dancers. Don't expect every customer to behave the same.
Firstly, did this guy tip you for your stage set? If he tipped you then an unwritten contract has been honoured - he saw the sights and rewarded you for it. If he had a good look, but didn't tip, then chalk him up as a cheapskate.
Next, remember the diffference between a stage show and a private dance. A stage show is exactly that - providing you're tipping, you can sit there and enjoy seeing a succession of naked women. Variety is, as they say, the spice of life. Regard the male motivation for a stage show as quantity, not quality.
Most times, when someone chooses a dancer for a private dance, there's something about her that rings his personal bells. It might be she's a blonde, it might be she's a brunette. It might be she's got small but shapely breasts, it might be she's got great legs - tastes vary from man to man. Us custy's are indulging our fantasies.
For your stage show this custy's attitude might have been - she's got a great body, I'll enjoy the chance to have a good look. For a private dance, (putting aside the "wanna dance" comment from BigGreenMnm), it might have been that he liked brunettes and you're a blonde, or he likes short girls, and you're tall.
Eye contact during a stage show is probably a good hint to approach someone, but bear in mind the varying motivations that bring us custy's into a SC. Not every guy interested in your stage show is going to be interested in a private dance.
Phil.
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
Honestly,
I shouldn't have even bothered with this asshole in the first place. He did NOT tip while I was on stage. He just stared at me the whole time with a goofy look on his face. I figured, "Fine, if he won't tip, maybe I can get a dance out of him." Screwed up logic, I know. LOL! But, hell, it was a slow night.
However, on one occasion, a guy did just stare at me the entire time I was on stage. He didn't tip either, but I came over and asked if I could join him and he said yes. He bought me a drink and we chatted. He didn't buy any dances on the floor. Instead, we ended up in the Champagne Room. So, sometimes, just because a guy doesn't tip on stage doesn't necessarily mean that he's not wanting to spend some money on you. It just so happens that THIS guy this time wasn't like THAT guy that time!
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
I used to save up my dances for the one girl I liked. However, that sometimes ended up as no one since dancers have a way of disappearing behind the curtain never to be seen again. I would never expect a dancer I just saw on stage to come see me, unless I tipped her, then I think it is her duty to at least drop by. Several just say thanks as they walk by to a regular or big spender. But no tipping on stage especially after extended eye contact, should be a flag of a cheapskate.
Guys, from what I have learned here, stick with a simple "No Thanks" if you don't want a dance. You can always flag her down later if you change your mind. Anything else is just wasting her time.
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
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Originally Posted by Bridgette
EXACTLY!!! WE pay alot more than any customer does just for walking in the door. Cover and drinks don't buy the show. You guys can argue til your blue in the face that it does, but NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! IT DOES NOT!!!
yes it does,you see the proof when everyone goes to work!!!;D
A guy isnt expected to tip every dancer,he isnt expected to get countless lapdances from each girl,specially ones that walk around the room thinking every custie owes them something.
The cover charge gets you the show in most clubs in the country.
(nobody here of course)
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
There are some lines taught in the Dancer Wealth seminar that cover this.
First off, you are referring to guys sitting around the stage. HOW OLD ARE THEY? ARE THEY YOUNG GUYS IN GROUPS? If the guy is sitting around the stage and giving you eye contact, before your set is up point at an empty table and tell him to go over there and that you will be there as soon as the last song is over.
Many times when you run into this situation, everyone in the group doesn't have money, and if one guy buys from you he may have had to borrow some of the money from one of his buddies.
You obviously are not working in a club where girls are constantly going table to table asking for dances and where most of the guys sitting around them are buying dances.
Selling a dance in a club that lacks momentum is at a premium value.
When you sit with the guys, are you probing them first to find out about their jobs, where they are from, what clubs they go to etc?
Are YOU controlling the conversation?
Do YOU assume the sale when trying to sell them? In other words saying something like, "Well Hank, I know you are ready for some dances now. C'mon (grab his hand), follow me to the private dance area".
If he balks, say "I know you came here to have fun, didn't you? You were staring at me on stage, weren't you? Besides me, who else do you want dances from"?
"Tell you what, let's start with one dance, I know you'll love it. We can take it from there. Do you need to stop at the ATM first"?
If he still balks, say " Hank I know you have $20, don't you? What about one of your buddies"? Ask one of them to loan Hank $20. If still no go, say thank you and leave.
Don't spend too much time with these young guys. 2 songs is tooooo long. Go through the sales pitch, use persuasion, and if no go, move on.
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
Wow, I really should have known that my answer would get my ass kicked. :)
Let me add another variable to the equation. What if the guy who doesn't get lap dances does stage tip? If a guy pays the cover, buys those $8 beers, and also stage tips, do you still have an expectation that he get private dances? Technically he is paying what is expected for the services being rendered. Getting pissed off at that guy would be like a restaurant kicking people out if they order a salad instead of the lobster tail and prime rib.
And in my defense... ;)
I do happen to think that not stage tipping is rude. When I go to a club, I like to get private dances from a variety of different dancers. I can't afford to get a dance from every girl in the place unfortunately so the ones that I would get dances from if I had unlimited funds, I make sure that they at least get a tip from me on stage. That's just the way I do things.
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
I had this conversation in the chat earlier, if you're tipping on stage that's cool.
but some random guy just drinking beer and thinking that paying a cover charge and buying a beer is enough should be in a normal bar because I know I'm not showing my tits and ass for free.
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
Well, it's sort of bad when a guy gets a drink, a chair, drags all that and goes near the stage and begins a "chair" party nearly all night. All by him self. Damn!
And all I can hustle out of him is drinks.
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
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Originally Posted by neve
because I know I'm not showing my tits and ass for free.
Well,this is easy to debate if you stage dance.
If your club pays you to dance on the stage,or you have some crazy rule like 5 bucks before you strip,then I agree with you.
Otherwise,you mount the stage just like alot of girls do,with the chance at making money,that translates to free almost.
A customer,just like in any other situation,is not required to tip.
They pay the cover,they become the customer of the club.
The club offers a stage show,thats why they paid the cover to get in.
The club charges them insane beer prices while enjoying that show.
The custom is for the guy to tip the girl on stage,not the rule.
If you dont agree,show me where the clubs have it posted"you must tip each dancer this amount".
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
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Originally Posted by LemonLime
Well, it's sort of bad when a guy gets a drink, a chair, drags all that and goes near the stage and begins a "chair" party nearly all night. All by him self. Damn!
And all I can hustle out of him is drinks.
Some guys just want to sit and have a drink and a conversation.
He bought you a drink.
He wasnt a bad custie,he just wasnt a great custie.
The most important thing is for you to be able to spot these guys within the first few mins,if its busy and you can make money somewhere else,move on.If its slow,and you could use a cold refreshing beverage,sit and chat for a few mins and relax till the next wave hits.
The last thing you should do to your own hustle is get pissed at these guys and let it slow you down.
Not all the custies are big spenders.Some only have 50 bucks to spend all night.
Yea they can go to the corner bar down the road,but I for one would rather he came in and spent it at a strip club.
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Re: Guys Who STARE...and Don't Get Dances! WTF!?!??!
BigGreen, just STOP IT. When clubs PAY us to work, then and ONLY THEN, will the cover and drinks entitle custies to the show. You know as well as we do, we're not there for our damn health.