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my first and last night dancing?
Well, last Thursday I finally got up the nerve to try dancing.
I was a little paranoid of seeing someone I know, so I chose a small club in my area that I've never heard anyone I know talk about. (I live in Tampa, so this is pretty much where all the SC's in the area are located---unless I were to drive to Pasco county, and I don't want to do that, what with all the raids going on over there). The club itself was very nice and clean, and the manager told me outright that they do not tolerate 'extras', which I was very glad to hear.
They didn't make me audition, they just looked at me (fully clothed) and said I was hired if I wanted to work. So I started that night. I danced horribly (I thought). I felt anything but sexy up there...just stupid and awkward mostly. One guy did buy a private dance from me, and I felt like I didn't know what I was doing w/the lap dancing either. I almost felt bad for the guy--it was probably kinda a crappy dance :-[
So I was uncomfortable with the dancing, not with the nudity. But what put me over the edge was that a couple of guys that looked to be about my age came in, and from a distance, I was almost positive one of them was my ex. It turned out not to be when I saw him up close later, but it freaked me out enough that I was preoccupied for the rest of the night with worry that someone I know would come in and see me, and of course that certainly didn't help to loosen me up on stage.
Then later I was up on stage and some...er, unsavory, character made a comment about my 'kitty-cat', and I wanted to puke. (At least he didn't say pu$$y, I guess :-\ ) But it grossed me out and made me feel dirty.
I ended up quitting after about 4 hours. The management was very nice--they didn't make me pay the house fee and told me I was welcome to come back anytime I wanted.
For the next couple days I felt empty and ashamed. And I'm so disappointed with myself for feeling that way. I really need this money, first of all, and second, I certainly don't look down on other women who dance--I actually have a lot of respect, and sometimes even admiration, for them. So why do *I* feel bad about doing it? Did anyone feel like this in the beginning and have those feelings go away with time?
And as for being recognized by people I know....this may sound silly and by all means tell me if it does...but what about dancing in a wig? Has anyone had any experiences with this? I've never actually worn one in my life, and I'm not sure if it would fall off, look weird, feel weird, or what?
Any advice/comments would be appreciated...I really want to be able to do this. Thanks <3
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
It takes a tough skin to be able to handle the customers, mnagement, other dancers and basically anyone you will ever meet at work...and it will affect your personal relationships too.
It's not for everyone and I wish that girls that hated it didn't do it (it's obvious when that's the case.)
Good luck and just be glad you tried it so you don't wonder.
(also, about the wig, lots of girls do it)
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
yhea dancing is not for everyone its hard but you might want to think about trying agine things get easier over time.
I am thinking of wearing a hair piece when i go back to dancing but not becuse i am ashamed but my daughter is now school age and i don't want anyone from the school to regonize me i figured atleast with a hair piece they would have to think a bit more before assuming.
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
Emily's right on this one, dancing's NOT for everyone. If you absolutely can't feel comfortable dancing for men, and hearing the a**hole things they'll tell you on a daily basis then maybe this isn't the right thing for you.
OTOH, this may just be becasue you're new. If you're so worried about seeing someone you know, then maybe you could trying dancing in a different city. Are there any good clubs in neighboring cities that you could give a try? Not every girl is going to shine her first night, a little awkwardness is to be expected. Try watching the other girls and see what they do. I'm not saying to steal all their moves, but just watch them and get a general idea of how to dance onstage. When you give a lapdance, make sure you have plenty of eyecontact and act like this is the most fun/intimate time you've had all night. I know this sounds really weird, but it works for me sometimes- try removing yourself from the situation, after all stripping is alot of acting. You can be whoever you want in the club, who cares that you may not be super flirty/comfortable with the situation, the character you play in the club CAN. Also, check out threads on here about dancing on stage, lapdances, and hustling. Good luck with whatever you decide!
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
I agree with Emily on this one. This job is not for everyone. But that aside. Maybe you could start out as a waitress. This is what I did to ease myself into the "stripclub atmosphere." I had never been in a strip club and I did not know what to expect. By about month three of waitressing I decided that I was comfortable enough to start dancing. Maybe you rushed into something you weren't ready for. I know, for me personally, I would not have been ready to dance the first nite I walked into a strip club (but then again, I'm a very cautious person). I admire those girls who can walk into a strip club and jump right into the swing of things with no prior experience.
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
I can relate about the seeing someone you know thing. I have been so worried when I dance I'll see the wrong person come in there (it's not like I'd care if certain people knew, but I wouldn't want everyone to) that I have trouble getting in the right mindset. I also found that the money was so hard to make and I was so physically exhausted that it didn't feel worth it. I didn't have any trouble really with the nasty things guys said to me because I'm pretty good at just taking nasty things people say and not caring about it. However, if you feel nasty maybe it really isn't for you. I didn't have that problem but just felt worn out and like I was working too hard for too litte. I'm not saying I wont' go back again if I get slow in my day job but for right now I'll just enjoy the SC's from a custy point of view.
What club did you go to? I'm in Tampa too and I'm just curious.
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
As everyone has said dancing is not for everyone..but with that aside,It just sounds like you weren't prepared and you were very nurvous.As for being reconnized there are lots of things that you can do to change your apperince for a little while.Wigs,hair extinchions,colored contacts,A big elaborate teporary tatoo (a girl at my club had one and it looks like the real thing,you just have to get a good one),fake piercings...get creative.Then if anyone sees you just act like you have no idea who they are.Be your own evil twin.Get yourself a fake id just for "proof"..then no one can argue with you.If this is something you really want to do go for it.Call the club and tell them you want to have another go at it.As for dancing watch the other girls..buy a dance from one or two so that you can get the feel of what you need to be doing.Not everyone is great thier first time up..it takes time and practice.
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
Bunny, it was Ybor Secrets. Obviously I'm not an expert since I only worked there for one night, but from what I saw, I would recommend it to anyone. Management is very nice, and the girls who have been there a while seem pretty happy there.
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
awe, you sound very sweet !
I am sorry things didn't go so well for you on your first night. If you are at all interested in trying things again maybe consider another club position such as waitress or hostess until you get more comfortable with the enviroment.
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
It might be easier if you could start in a club with less nudity and contact. Maybe a bikini bar if the doll house is out of the question or traveling and trying a nice no contact club out. If you would like any sugestions you can pm me.
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
Ok, ye famed male perspective.
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Originally Posted by imapro728
They didn't make me audition, they just looked at me (fully clothed) and said I was hired if I wanted to work. So I started that night. I danced horribly (I thought). I felt anything but sexy up there...just stupid and awkward mostly. One guy did buy a private dance from me, and I felt like I didn't know what I was doing w/the lap dancing either. I almost felt bad for the guy--it was probably kinda a crappy dance...So I was uncomfortable with the dancing, not with the nudity.
It's very unlikely you'd feel anything but "stupid and awkward" when dancing for the first time. It's a skill, and skills come with practice. Many dancers never learn to be graceful when performing. What they eventually learn to do is walk around the stage, (or venue), in a suitably sexy way, while shedding clothing.
Ditto the lap dance - there are certain moves that dancers do. Again, most of those will come with experience. It's not exactly surprising you didn't have the moves for the first time - being naked in close proximity to a total stranger was probably a learning experience in itself!
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Originally Posted by imapro728
Then later I was up on stage and some...er, unsavory, character made a comment about my 'kitty-cat', and I wanted to puke. (At least he didn't say pu$$y, I guess But it grossed me out and made me feel dirty...For the next couple days I felt empty and ashamed. And I'm so disappointed with myself for feeling that way.
Unfortunately, a significant proportion of men who come into SC's act like arseh*les. You bumped into your first example early in your career. Sometimes it's because they feel superior to you, ("you're only a woman who gets naked"), sometimes it's because they're fantasising about you, ("the bitch likes me talking about her body").....There's any number of reasons why you'll meet arseh*ls at work.
The way most dancers deal with it is to switch into a "work persona" when they arrive at the SC. Thus [real name] arrives and changes, then "imapro728" goes out to work and deal with all the sh*t. At the end of the shift "imapro728" changes and turns back into [real name]. It's a bit like being an actress playing a part - and all the sh*t is being directed at the actress and not the real you.
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Originally Posted by imapro728
I finally got up the nerve to try dancing. I was a little paranoid of seeing someone I know, so I chose a small club in my area that I've never heard anyone I know talk about....I was preoccupied for the rest of the night with worry that someone I know would come in and see me, and of course that certainly didn't help to loosen me up on stage.....as for being recognized by people I know....this may sound silly and by all means tell me if it does...but what about dancing in a wig?
Most dancers I know don't want it to be widely known that they dance. Accordingly, most avoid clubs in their immediate area. (I and they are from London in the UK - they'll dance in other parts of London, but not generally within 5 miles of where they live.)
Wearing a wig will substantially change your appearance. A little anecdote here - I'm friendly with several dancers outside of work, and will sometimes give them lifts to/from work. About a year ago I went to pick up a particular dancer. Unbeknown to me, she'd had her hair cut short and died blond. (She was a long haired brunette). I didn't recognise her, (and I'd known her for over 2 years).
We got to the venue where she was working. Cos the venue is a fair way from the area where she, (and I), live I did what I usually do - found a seat right at the back of the venue and prepared to kill time for the 4 hours she was working. When she's changed she came out to join me. Also unbeknown to me, she'd decided to work in a long black wig. Again, I didn't recognise her until she got within 2 feet - and this is a dancer I know well.
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Originally Posted by imapro728
For the next couple days I felt empty and ashamed. And I'm so disappointed with myself for feeling that way....So why do *I* feel bad about doing it? Did anyone feel like this in the beginning and have those feelings go away with time?
A bit impertinent of a guy to post about how dancers feel, but I do value several dancers as friends. It's not something they/I talk about a lot, but I know they all have ambivilent feelings about dancing. They're always a little worried about what I'll feel about them; unnecessarily so - as far as I'm concerned they're friends foremost and dancers a long way second.
They also react in different way to the fact I do give them lifts to/from work and thus have the oportunity to see them naked. Again, if they feel uncomfortable with me seeing them, I make a point of telling them I'm not looking. (And I don't). In my experience, many dancers are far more comfortable being naked in front of a stranger than someone they know.
I suspect, (but obviously do not have direct knowledge), that all dancers have some degree of ambivilence about what they do - but most deal with it by means of the work persona I've described above.
There will always be arseh*les you meet while working. Some will want to touch, some will want to make crude comments, some will proposition you for sexual favours. If you want to earn a living as a dancer, you will have to develop a degree of mental detachment.
The only thing that should matter to you is what family and friends think of you outside of work. If you are a nice and kind person outside of work, then being a dancer will not change that.
The arseh*les you meet at work are just that, arseh*les, and you should not be concerned about what they do or say.
Phil.
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
The first time anything is always the scariest, wierdest, and/or upsetting. I would try the wig or hairpiece thing for you. I got a clip on hairpiece and my confidence went way up knowing I didnt have to worry how good my hair looks.
Having a wig or hairpiece might increase your stripper persona more. I wear alot of makeup, fun n flirty outfits, sometimes the hair and I totally forget Im me when I look in the mirror. Just remember youre someone else when youre at work; it will take your mind away from you and your paranoia of seeing someone you know feeling and focus more on making money.
Go back and try if you like. If the girls at your club are nice ask for a sample dance from one of them to see what you should be doing. Or when its slow and theres no one to talk to watch the other girl giving a dance (from the corner of your eye of course - no staring lol).
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
Hey sweetie, don't worry - my first night I walked out around 1am, feeling overwhelmed. I got back into it as "a girl who'd danced before" and that made me feel better... the worst was over. Get a stage name, an outfit you feel like a celebrity in, and just make that cash money!! Every night you work, you will learn different ways to spice up the lap dances, talk up the custies, and eventually... create your own personal aura when on the stage.
Good luck and do not give up! 8)
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
I have done various forms of dance my whole entire life. A few years back I auditioned to be a night club dancer (fully clothed) and during my audition I felt like the stupidest most ridiculously uncoordinated person that had ever lived. I could not get over how stupid I must of looked. I got the job ( i assumed they were desperate, or just thought i was cute) and my second and third nights felt not much better, but with time I felt more confident. 6 months later the manager said that when I auditioned they thought I was the best dancer they had ever had!
Some people just get anxious when doing new things that put them out of their comfort zone. I havent even started dancing yet, and i know for a fact I am going to HAAAAAAAAAAATE it for the the first week, but I know what Im like and I have to give it a reasonable go before I truly know wether it is right for me.
As for that nagging voice inside your head making you feel ashamed etc, I would put that down to being overly anxious and your brain giving you every reason under the sun not to do it again, I also do this!
If you really truly thought it was shameful you would never of got up there in the first place, remember that!
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
I still remember the first night I danced.. I thought I was going to throw up on everyone! But, in all seriousness.. as Emily stated, this job isn't for everyone, and the girls who hate it and do it anyways, it really brings down the over all feel of the club and the morale of the other girls..
My suggestion would be to do this- give it a few days. Maybe work a day shift if you can. Normally on a day shift, its slower, you can get in more practice, plus, there are less girls working.. see if you can become friendly with someone who has been there awhile.. At the club I used to work at, there were always a few of us who would help them out- take them in the back give them a dance.. so that they knew what to do. Yes, you're all competing together, but.. there are usually some veterans in some clubs who if asked, would probably be more than happy to help you if its a slow time.. something as simple as "Hey, how long have you danced? I'm new to this whole thing.. "
or, go in one night and watch the dancers.
You need a tough skin, and believe you me, coming from a girl here who lives in a small community, I know all too well that feeling of running into someone you know.. you can't have an attitude where you are going to "Hide" all night.. some people who I have known who ran into me, would be shocked at first, and because I also held a day job for awhile, it did get a bit more interesting, but I chose to work nights that weren't so busy, it gave me more motivation to hustle and less bullshit to deal with with the overly crowded club.
You can't be timid and you definitely have to be able to handle all types of people, plus deal with the comments that come with the job. And as someone else said, if you were truly ashamed of this business, you would have never gone to begin with.
Hang in there.
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
I liked a lot of these suggestions.
I think the following one is wrong and dangerous "Get yourself a fake ID just for "proof".." This fake ID thing can get you in big trouble with LE in case of anything at all, even a parking lot accident when you weren't even driving. In NYS a fake ID is a felony. Just ignore anyone who thinks they "know you." Remember you are just in from out of state.
Makeup and a wig can do wonders for camoflaging a somewhat familiar face.
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
hey girlie, great post and I can totally relate. I just started working again, 2 nights back in the business now. The first time I worked for three weeks before I got pregnant and had to quit, then I breast fed and now I am giving it another go.
Anyway the first time I was very self conscience and made a few mistakes as far as letting the customers make me feel bad about the job. first of all dont ever let them make you feel bad! second of all read this book, it has helped me more than anything else with my ability to dance (and anything else for that matter) . It's called "Think & Grow Rich - by Napoleon Hill"
I prefer to have my own copy of the book so I can refer back to it often (softcover costs $7.50), but you can download it for free I recently found out. make sure you read chapter 11. It starts on page 230 of the ebook. i read that chapter first and believe me once you read it you will want to dance-if that is what you truly desire! dont stop there though, every chapter in the book is empowering and enlightening! I use pretty much everything I have learned in the book while I'm at work and I'm doing F***king Awesome! (excuse my language, can't help but swear when I get excited)
Also I have learned so much from this site ( stripperweb.com ) that I can't imagine I would have learned in years of being in the business! thank you everyone on stripperweb and especially moderators and those that support the site! I will definately become a "paying member" ASAP ~ LOVE THIS SITE! thanks again!
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
We've all been thru the first night syndrome, so don't be too hard on yourself !!
I think that if you are still interested in dancing to start at a no-contact club. Initially I beleive your mind has too much to process without having to deal with numerous men touching you as well !! My first night was awful too... It took a while before I got into the swing of things and it was only after a few shifts that i started to feel sexy. If you know for sure that dancing isn't your thing then don't fret, at least you had the courage to do what a lot of women can't, so be proud of it :)
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
Yah You do need a thick skin and dancing is definitly not for everyone, But if You do really wan't to do it but you'r afraid of ppl seeing You then wear a wig I guess to try to change You'r look up a bit and probley trying wearing differnt make up You wouldn't usualy wear. And about dancing TRUST ME hun not everyone is going to go up on stage the frist time or in the private ares and nail it. I sucked so bad when I frist started dancing and im still not that great =p. But You do get use to it and if keep trying You will get better. Just don't be so hard on You'r self and don't give up so easy. If You really wan't to do it then You can :D....
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
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Originally Posted by Emily
It takes a tough skin to be able to handle the customers, mnagement, other dancers and basically anyone you will ever meet at work...and it will affect your personal relationships too.
It's not for everyone and I wish that girls that hated it didn't do it (it's obvious when that's the case.)
Good luck and just be glad you tried it so you don't wonder.
(also, about the wig, lots of girls do it)
I agree with Emily. If you hated it that much and are that ashamed, honestly, you shouldn't be doing it. No amount of money is worth trashing your pride / self-worth / values for. Not at all. The money won't buy happiness, and it won't buy your pride back. Don't let anyone bullshit you into thinking otherwise.
For all you guys wanting to say this is some self-serving bs post trying to keep new girls out of the business: STFU. I simply don't like to see girls doing this who hate it - it's bad for them and no money is ever worth what this business can do to you if you don't even like it.
There are other ways to make money. Believe me. A bit of creativity and alot of gumption go a long way, and you will feel much better if you don't compromise yourself for the all-dirty dollar.
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
What she said ^. If you think pussy is a bad word and hearing it makes you feel dirty, dancing is not for you.
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
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Originally Posted by Bridgette
I agree with Emily. If you hated it that much and are that ashamed, honestly, you shouldn't be doing it. No amount of money is worth trashing your pride / self-worth / values for. Not at all. The money won't buy happiness, and it won't buy your pride back. Don't let anyone bullshit you into thinking otherwise.
For all you guys wanting to say this is some self-serving bs post trying to keep new girls out of the business: STFU. I simply don't like to see girls doing this who hate it - it's bad for them and no money is ever worth what this business can do to you if you don't even like it.
There are other ways to make money. Believe me. A bit of creativity and alot of gumption go a long way, and you will feel much better if you don't compromise yourself for the all-dirty dollar.
Bravo ! That's exactly what I think. Why would you change yourself and get '' thick-skinned '' if it's not you ?? It will only leave you bitter and frustrated because this is simply not yourself and I never heard of happy people that pretend to be something they are not.
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
make sure it is your gut instinct you're listening to and not the programming of parents/church etc.
for ages i felt like i was being bad. then all too soon it felt normal and even necessary for the expression of the inner minx. my frustrations were borne more of my lame hustling skills than anything else.
i also learnt that i don't like contact at all and i decided in the beginning that i would only do topless. it is a highly personal choice. once i learnt that i am the boss - i could control octopus hands and make them do what i want in the dance. if they didn't play by my rules - or tried to be gross, the dance was over.
you need to know yourself, know your limits, then stick to it. maybe waitressing would be a good idea until you work out what your limits are?
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Re: my first and last night dancing?
I find it interesting how the older, more experienced girls always seem to be the ones saying "don't do it if you don't like it" while the younger, less experienced girls tend to say "you can learn to deal with it." :thinking: Maybe we older girls have learned something the younger ones haven't, hmm?
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Re: my first and last night dancing?