Re: How to keep a regular
I wish you could undo your email too...
How long have you known him? You could always say ''Once I get to know you a little better ITC, maybe then...''
Here are two options though:
1. Meet him. It's not unusual or a terrible thing to meet a custy OTC once in a while, as long as you know them very well and you feel safe (I think that's important). It also helps if they're compensating you for your time, especially if you're taking time off work to meet them. As little as a few months ago, I would never have considered it but after reading the site, some of the other girls have done it and it seems it can be fun, but it pays to be smart. Always carry a phone so you can be contacted and let someone know where you'll be so decide the venue beforehand.
2. Tell him no or even a not just yet. Like I said before, you could say you prefer to get to know him better ITC or you could just say you don't meet customers outside work. It is your job after all and you need not explain yourself further. He'll just have to accept that.
However, always keep in mind and remember that regulars have a shelf life. If he's asking you to meet OTC, he might be making more demands on you later. Eventually he'll likely make the ultimate demand - sex. So try and keep the relationship under tight control while you can. Also be careful. A lot of men use money as their way of finding a girl who'll sleep with them. They'll take you to VIP for a few visits and if you eventually don't agree to sleep with them, bam, the funds stop. Make sure YOU make most of the decisions but be firm but nice about them so that he cannot accuse you of taking him for a ride. Never go that extra mile just for money - it's not worth it and you'll regret it later. Money can be built up easily but your self esteem and respect for yourself might not come back as fast.
Whatever you do, good luck!
Re: How to keep a regular
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvbuniz
Anyway, does anyone have any tips on handling regulars (especially when they are badgering you for OTC dinners and such)?
Treat them with honesty and professionalism. Enjoy their company while they are fun and worth hanging out with. Once things start to turn south be honest and/or cut them off and move on to the next. Stringing one along in the wrong way may just lead to further stalker tendencies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvbuniz
If I tell him no, then it's no more $$$ but I just don't want to do things OTC.
Sure the money may be nice, but some things just aren't worth it. Remember there are plenty of dancers out there who bank and want nothing to do with "regulars".
I say be up front from the beginning. Maybe it was just a polite inquiry. He may have just been reacting to receiving the e-mail and trying to see if it was meant to be an invitation for more. It's possible that if you tell him it was not an invitation for OTC activities he may back off, and still be a "regular" inside the club. If he continues to "badger" to meet OTC, and you're not comfortable with that, write this one off and move on to the next. Consider it a learning experience.
Best of luck!
Re: How to keep a regular
Do you want a regular customer or a regular hassle?
Re: How to keep a regular
Tell him if he wants to take you out he has to pay for your time. $200 p/h, no extras, public places only.
Re: How to keep a regular
How regular is a regular? Some guys that have spent money on me, I don't see for weeks, yet months at a time. Some stay gone for nearly a year.
And on the other hand, some guys come every week or every two weeks.
IMO, $100 is a $100 but not really worth what he is implying.
On email, one can always get another email. Go to Yahoo, Lycos, Excite, and you can get another one easy. And just abandon the old email address.
I make it a practice not to give my phone number, or email address period.
I have an arrangement with one my regulars from time to time, but everything is handled verbally at the club. I don't have any contact with him outside the club.
Nor do I really want one.
Re: How to keep a regular
There's been a couple dancers that I'd really enjoy having their anonymous e-mail address. I'd like to know if they're there because they're particularly charming.
"I'm supposed to be in your town Wednesday. Are you working then?" If yes, I'd go to their club Wednesday. If no, then I wouldn't. Nothing more, nothing less.
Re: How to keep a regular
I've had guys take me shopping. I've told them to meet me at this mall at on this date at this time. And that was it. Not hard to do. If they show up great, if not, I'm going shopping REGARDLESS. LOL!
Email addys are harmless and if you're that afraid, you can change your settings so that they can not see where you are(or you can go to the library to answer your emails).
Re: How to keep a regular
I just think its a bad idea to do the whole email/cell phone OTC thing, unless you are genuinely interested in making a new friend and/or a potential boyfriend.
Regulars shouldn't necessarily be avoided, because it can be a steady source of income. But when you try to play games to string customers along, I think you are giving yourself more problems down the line. Why not just keep it profesional and ITC?
Lot's of guys can get confused with all this mixed signal stuff. I know I have in the past. In addition, lot of guys aren't savvy long-term SC customers and don't know how this game is played.
Re: How to keep a regular
First of all, let me state that I am in agreement with the previous poster on point of keeping it professional and ITC.
But you are saying if you don't date him, he will not "hire" you anymore.
Well, as I see it, that is his privilege. He don't want you, he don't want you.
Get out his way. And tell him to get out of yours also.
Don't let him blackmail you into dating him because of this.
One other thing is this, customers should realize that you can be polte for only so long.
He asks you again, be firm with. Hey, you got to stand up for yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you.
Re: How to keep a regular
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stringer
I just think its a bad idea to do the whole email/cell phone OTC thing, unless you are genuinely interested in making a new friend and/or a potential boyfriend.
Regulars shouldn't necessarily be avoided, because it can be a steady source of income. But when you try to play games to string customers along, I think you are giving yourself more problems down the line. Why not just keep it profesional and ITC?
Lot's of guys can get confused with all this mixed signal stuff. I know I have in the past. In addition, lot of guys aren't savvy long-term SC customers and don't know how this game is played.
You're right. :) Even having an email for regulars is a bit iffy because they think you now have a 'personal' relationship with them.
I replied to this guy with a polite brush off. Never again will I make the same mistake ::)
Re: How to keep a regular
I've only had one experience with a custy outside the club. We never hung out, we just talked on the phone a bit.
I changed clubs; and it was cool because he came to see me at the one club the next night, but all he wanted to do was talk (at least he tipped me).
Just tell your dude that you're too busy to see him. If you go out to lunch with him, no matter how interesting and pretty you are, you will automatically be chipping away at your mystique.
He knows where to find you. Let him come see you at work. Take the time you would spend going out to lunch with him and use it to get psyched for your next night at the club!
Re: How to keep a regular
I have always found that having extreme control over the whole dancer-customer relationship from the first time they tip you on stage is key. You want to control the conversations, keeping the focus on him. Make sure you are asking all of the questions. You have to be borderline aggressive. You don't want to completely dominate every conversation and make your need to have control obvious, but what you are trying to ultimately do is keep the focus off of your personal business. Once a customer is all up in your personal life, then they think they have some kind of place in your life. Any personal questions should be answered very vaguely and quickly turned around on the customer. Now you know everything you need to know about him (and some things you could care less about) and you are still somewhat a mystery to him except for the fact that you are a nice person and you give a good dance. Now when they ask for company outside the club, you can use some of their personal information to your advantage and for excuses as to why they will never see you OTC. If you know that they are married or have a steady girlfriend, tell them in a playful and seductive way that you want to be their girlfriend when they come to the club and be all the things that the other woman may not be ;) . Even if they don't have a girlfriend, you can use the same line and tweek it by saying "since you are so busy all the time and so am I. You can see me at both of our convenience while I'm ITC and I won't get mad if we don't get to cuddle afterwards". That one always gets a laugh and lots of dances.
This may all seem like alot to do just to keep someone interested, but you are being honest with them without letting them down and they get to keep seeing you and you get to keep seeing their money. It is totally psychological (a mind game) and you have to stay one step ahead of your customer.
Only use this if the customer is truly worth keeping around and only once you have practiced on those random guys who ask you for a date after only meeting you once and getting one dance. :O
Re: How to keep a regular
You have to treat each one like hes the only one you consider spending time with. Learn what he likes and doesnt like and adjust yourself to his wants within reason of course.
Re: How to keep a regular
for real, when you start meeting and table dancing for men, you dont usually know right from the start that they are gonna becum regulars. But when they do, watch it! It all seems easy talk and quick replys at first, but then BOOM, they start getting fixated on you and seek alot more attention than there original few hundred bucks got them. Be careful, yes shopping and reliability from them becomes very inviting. But they get more aggressive and more demanding with each dollar that they spend. Each dollar becomes a chunk of your soul that they take away. I just say, that YOU have the upper hand and power, and dont ever lose sight of that, or you will end up being stalked or stuck with a damn dickwad that will take all your information off of your computer and learn everything about you. And None of us girls want to live like that just for a measley few hundred a week. keep your work at work, or go shopping or out to eat, but NEVER give even the nicest one all of you, cuz it will cost you dearly
Re: How to keep a regular
If you can provide attention on a consistant basis in the confines of your job, at the club, you will find the cultivation of regulars is fairly easy. Remember their names, what they do, and show some concern for their lives. In some cases consider yourself a therapist...that too is an intimate relationship of sorts that almost never consists of outside the office interaction and certainly not sex. Its just that you happen to be naked that if you are not a good conversationalist sex may be the only thing your regular may see as satisfying that attention getting, lets face it even the best lapdance gets old after sometime in the absence of something more intimate. And by intimate I don't mean sex just more of human connection.
I have had dancers tell me about themselves and send me email and call even when I am not spending a great deal of money on them...I think when its slow some dancers just want to talk and be listened to...lets call it casual friendship...I see nothing wrong with that...but some men have a hard time being friends with girls...especially sexy naked ones...but I guess thats why you all run into so many disfunctional customers. But, sending the mixed messages does seem like a dangerous possiblity so get to know your customer before you move beyong the dancing for dollars routine. And lets face it a great deal of the men you meet on a regular basis in clubs are hoping for sex...keeping that hope alive is a difficult balancing act...but lets face it women do that outside the clubs too, but some men think quite wrongly that women who are dancers are easier to sleep with than women outside the club. Frankly. I prefer the dancers I know to be the fantasy I met in the club...they can tell me all about themselves and such, and I do encourage it by being a good listener, but in the end I just want the attention of a beautiful girl who may be pretending maybe not that she has some interest in me, and if I can make her feel good with a couple of bucks and compliments and she can share for a few moments of her best self at its sexiest...then I am a regular hook line and sinker. Sadly, I've only met a very few girls that really can do it well.
Re: How to keep a regular
Okay, I know I posted this somewhere on SW before, and we are mostly all guilty of letting a ITC relationship get OTC... but you have to keep a regular at the same distance as you do any other customer. I was fortunate to have some regulars in Bozeman that were friends I had before I danced. They were well aware of what our relationship was ITC, as well as our friendship OTC. But if you meet a regular at work----- keep it there.
I DID wake up one morning with a regular mowing my lawn. I had not given him my address. He followed me home one night, he went so far as to follow me to Denny's, then to a friends, then to my house. I went directly into my garage not knowing he was at the end of the block. He sat outside until the sun came up and then started mowing my lawn. I called the cops; explained the situation and never had to come outside because I refused to let him know it bothered me. They asked him to show proof he lived at my address and then told him my neighbors complained about the noise and he was trespassing. The guy had the balls to show up at my work that night with a diamond tennis braclet as an apology for me. I had him removed from the club. It shouldn't go this far ever. The guy was way off his rocker and something bad could have happened. This is just an example of why you HAVE to keep regulars at bay by never giving them personal info about you. They do look for anything to become part of your real life.
Re: How to keep a regular
OH... answering the thread... to keep a regular, tell them you'd love to see them again and give them the clubs card with your schedule. If they aren't going to be around for awhile, tell them to call the club and ask when you'll be in. Tell them to have the club leave you a note if he calls and you aren't going to be around. That way you can call FROM WORK and tell him your schedule for that week.
Re: How to keep a regular
If by a regular, it is meant a customer who does repeat buisiness with me, then that is his choice. I guess he comes back to see me becuase he likes me.
Well, thank you, Mr. Regular, I appreciate that.
But in truth, those regulars come in so infrequently, they have little impact on my earnings.
Most of my customers are new, never seen them before, probably never see them again.
But regulars come in every month or so, and still remember me.
Unforgettable, that's what you are, like the song says.
Re: How to keep a regular
Sorry for interrupting you girls, but why do you think he wants to "sleep" with you?
If i do ask my atf out for a dinner, it just means a dinner. If she offers sleeping with me in the future, thats cool. But I will never ever ask for that. Maybe I am a weirdo. :O
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvbuniz
I emailed him a picture of myself and now he's sent my an email inviting me to dinner. /:O This kinda sucks because it means he wants a 'date' and I have no intention of sleeping with him. Wish I could undo emailing him but I guess it's too late now.
Re: How to keep a regular
discontinue talking to him without reason...he will show back up at the club ... ten explain to him that u have a taste for the finer things in life and he probably couldnt afford you anyway...then make him break bread....
Re: How to keep a regular
Give them the impression that you are single but unavailable. Keep it real with them on sincere conversation, eye contact, smile, and make him feel like he is the only guy in the room.
Keep it in the club. If they ask for a dinner date or want an OTC relationship tell them you stay very busy with work, school, whatever. If he persists tell him as much as you would like too, your dating someone . If he is a regular worth keeping this is respected. If not he will start spending less money or move on to another dancer.
Re: How to keep a regular
why don't you meet him for a drink or cup of coffee somewhere on your way to work only allowing 15-20 mins to sit with him chit chat and then off to work...that way you won't have to be around him long cause you have to get to work...if you choose to go out with him or not..i've never went out with a customer before or i don't have many regulars that come see me :-[ lol.......hope that helps
Re: How to keep a regular
And... how to manage the regulars... at the club? How if you are busy with another guy and they are coming, for instance? How to tease another guys being you at the stage, while that regular customer is waiting for you at his table?
Sorry, I´m still a newbie.
Susana
PS. I once went to a museum and to have a meal with a friendly customer, who tips me for that (that have been the only time I`ve done it)... Im about to go back to his city for the weekend... should I just tell him that if he wants to come to the club? The other time, he wanted me to go withouth makeup and definitely OTC... and by the end he just asked me to briefly show him a tit...