Re: how to tell a custy" I'm not going home with you" without sounding rude?
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Originally Posted by skanklover
Guys ask this it seems because believe it or not some girls do meet them outside of the club. It may be just dinner, or it may be a private dance recital. Maybe no sex. Lets face it men are men and if some hottie has turned us on and maybe some drinking and good conversation why does it seem outrageous that they wouldn't be an adult and ask for the cookie. I think some dancers may be less mature than others or maybe unable to deal with a natural progression in what is a sexual process, no matter what is provided in the club. Just tell guys the truth, like you would in any situation, I am not interested. Lets face it if your going to fuck a guy you generally know it within an hour, in the club or out.
And it's shit like this that gives customers posting on the board a bad name. ::)
Re: how to tell a custy" I'm not going home with you" without sounding rude?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Foxey
And it's shit like this that gives customers posting on the board a bad name. ::)
I like his name...
Re: how to tell a custy" I'm not going home with you" without sounding rude?
Re: how to tell a custy" I'm not going home with you" without sounding rude?
Be honest. Say you don't meet customers outside work because you would risk losing your job or being charged with prostitution. If he is a nice guy and has spent time with you and you are wanting to see him outside the club, then you need to be able to meet each other somewhere else, say another club, with friends, so it isn't a DATE set up. Do NOT ever make plans with a guy you aren't already friends with after a night of work. You have no idea what disaster could be in store for you. If you meet some other night somewhere else, DO not exchange #'s, just plan a meet and greet with several friends.
Re: how to tell a custy" I'm not going home with you" without sounding rude?
I just say "no" in a flat serious voice. It's the same way I tell my cats they can't do something. I used to come up with all sorts of reasons, but I have found this works best for me.
Re: how to tell a custy" I'm not going home with you" without sounding rude?
Phedre has a good point. Back in the 70s when the Playboy Clubs were hugely popular, they had a very well-known policy that if you were a "bunny", and you dated a customer, you were immediately fired on the spot. No debate, no argument, that's it, pack your bags. As a result, since this was a well-known rule, customers often tried to get the girls home and were shot-down. The good thing about this (from the customer's perspective) is that when they went back to talk to their buddies, he would often say, "Yeah, she shot me down, but I know the only reason is because she'd get fired if she went out with me, so it's all good." It worked well for the girls there. I think they even made a movie about this issue many years ago although I can't remember the name.
Anyways, saying it is club policy might work well for you. A good response might sound like, "Although some dancers in here don't follow it, the club has a rule against dating customers and I REALLY like working here. It's not worth even risking my job, so thanks for asking, but we have to keep our fun here."
Another alternate thing to say is a bit risque for some, but it does work if you want to have fun with the cliche'. Just say, "I'm flattered that you would ask me, but my girlfriend doesn't like it when I date guys in the club." You'll get a laugh, but you'll also probably get a dance sold too tying into the whole "lesbian fantasy" thing.
Re: how to tell a custy" I'm not going home with you" without sounding rude?
Guys can be really persistent nowadays and they usually have snappy comebacks like, "oh, I won't tell your boyfriend."
When men ask you to go home with them at a club, usually it's for one of two reasons: either they have no clue and are basing it on stereotypes of what all dancers are supposedly like, or some extras chick has actually done it and messed his up for the clean dancers.
I used to just answer, "look, there's nothing I'm not gonna do outside the club that I won't do in that VIP room and while I can't really tell you what I do in the VIP room, I can definitely tell you what I WON'T do."
That was usually pretty effective.
Re: how to tell a custy" I'm not going home with you" without sounding rude?
I like the comeback line in Boston Legal when Denny Crane askes Shirley Schmit to go to bed and she says, "Let's just keep the fantasy a little longer."
Or how about, "I'll have a pair of my panties delivered to you and you can get into them on your own time?"
I would say 90% of the time, the guy is a tease and that is way of complimenting you. Take it that way. If he really really expects something, take the advice from the other dancers.
Re: how to tell a custy" I'm not going home with you" without sounding rude?
Quote:
Originally Posted by DancerWealth
Anyways, saying it is club policy might work well for you. A good response might sound like, "Although some dancers in here don't follow it, the club has a rule against dating customers and I REALLY like working here. It's not worth even risking my job, so thanks for asking, but we have to keep our fun here."
Another alternate thing to say is a bit risque for some, but it does work if you want to have fun with the cliche'. Just say, "I'm flattered that you would ask me, but my girlfriend doesn't like it when I date guys in the club." You'll get a laugh, but you'll also probably get a dance sold too tying into the whole "lesbian fantasy" thing.
that sounds good in theory but doesn't work in the real life situation most of the time
telling a customer that it is against club policy or that it might get us fired will usually get a big eye roll from the customer and a sarcastic remark of some sort or even more pressure to comply with his wishes.
telling them that we have a girlfriend usually ends up with continued pressure because then they think they can have both the dancer and her girlfriend and a 3 way is even better in alot of their minds. Basicaly it makes them want to see us out of the club even more.
or in some cases the customer is a homophobe and can get mean
I find after a customer has asked to see me out of the club the only thing that will make him stop is walk away and move on to a new customer. Anything else is a waste of time that I could be earning money from a respectful customer.
asking me out at the club puts a custy on my "asshole to avoid" list
Re: how to tell a custy" I'm not going home with you" without sounding rude?
also remember that in alot of places anything other than a flat out "No" reply to an invite from a custy to spend time with him outside of the club can result in arrest