-
Worst Mistakes?
I thought it would be interesting to see what everyone thought their worst mistakes were when they were new to dancing. I know mine was drinking on the job. Sometimes I got so drunk, I didn't know what the hell was going on. Many times, I got taken advantage of when it came to money and payouts. Some customers would take the opportunity to touch me in inappropriate place as well. Finally, my husband slapped me silly (figuratively) in the face. He videotaped me one night when I got home and showed it to me the next day. My hair looked like shit, my makeup was smudged, my outfit was ripped in a few spots from tripping all over the place and to top it off I only brought home $30 that night. Needless to say, I didn't look very sexy. I was lost in the "party" aspect of dancing. Fortunately, now I see it as a business and take it seriously.
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
My biggest mistake was getting involved in cocaine. I worked in a club where you could pretty much get it whenever you wanted it and everyone else was doing so I figured what the heck. I did my first line and felt like I could conquor all, I was awake, bubbly, didn't mind talking with customers etc. Within 2 weeks I was hooked and was working to support my habit. I was also in a bad relationship and that helped me deal with it. This went on for several months. My wakeup call was sitting at the DJs apartment freaking out because I couldn't go to sleep. When I finally did and woke up I could barely move, I couldn't even drive home (I lived an hour from the club). I went to KMART to buy some clean clothes and fell asleep in the store. After spending a week in bed detoxing (only getting up to shower and eat) I vowed to never touch that stuff again. Being sober helped me dump the loser boyfriend instead of dealing with the abuse, make money again, and feel overall better about myself. Anytime I ever feel the urge to touch the stuff I go back to the clubs website and there is a picture of me on there looking like absolute hell - The whole point of this story is to warn all new dancers you will find drugs in every club and just STAY AWAY FROM THEM. I had to learn it the hard way and hopefully you won't. It may seem to the magical solution to every dancers problems but its really not.
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
well, i haven't really made any mistakes. except fpr one i went to an audition and didn't get hired because the manager said I didn't know how to strip. Me and a friend of mine are trying to get into the business, but we don't know how can anyone help us.
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
alexis, i've seen alot of girls get hooked on drugs in the club. Luckily, I haven't done that. never been a huge fan of drugs in the first place. My biggest mistake is drinking. When I worked nite shift I wouldn't know when to stop drinking and there are times I don't remember driving home(i live an hour and a half away from the club). Now though, I'm really good about it. if i drink @ all, it's just one drink in the beginning of the day. Or I will stop myself by 2pm.
I also got caught up in shopping. Instead of saving my money, I went out and would go to the mall every day. ::shakes head:: that wasn't a smart idea and now i'm paying for it.
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
oh and fjames, look around the site, you'll find plenty of threads answering all your questions
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
Hannah, I know where your coming from with the mall. When I first started dancing I would go shopping everyday and buy all new stuff. Then 9/11 happened and the economy went to hell and it my opinion hasn't been the same.
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
drugs. although at the time it didn't seem like a mistake, in hindsight i can see that it was. now, i still do take drugs on the odd occasion, and only recreationally, and i enjoy it. but for a few months there i was a completely out-of-control party girl. when i wasn't working, i'd be in a hotel penthouse with a group of friends taking cocaine, ecstasy, fantasy, meth, special k... pretty much anything (never heroin though, thankfully). i'd never even thought about touching drugs before stripping, but as a naive 18-year-old from a small country town being suddenly exposed to this whole new life of parties, nightclubs & drugs, i just got caught up in it all. don't get me wrong, i had one hell of a time. but i was heading down a pretty destructive path, and i'm glad that once i realised what i was doing, i managed to pull myself out of it (i think getting a great new boyfriend helped a lot too!)
also, shopping. when i was a newbie to stripping and having all that cash.... god did i spend a lot of money on crap!!!
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
Shopping and blowing all the hard earned cash was definately a bad thing, but I still do that! }:D Somethings never change.
I have to also say that when I was new to dancing, I had a hard time saying "no" to the custies when they wanted to touch. I thought that was the only way keep them interested and wanting more. Fortunately, nothing too bad happened though. Now, I have no problem telling them to "get your fuck'n hands off my tits!" when they start getting too frisky. Of course, I say it in a very sweet and seductive voice.
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
Blowing small wads of cash...when you have that not so great night ya know. I would just spend wtvr amount it was on dumb stuff I dont even own anymore.
Spending too much time with guys before asking for a dance. Not saving and taking it seriously like a real job.
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
I danced too fast and too big when I first started. I took me awhile to understand that sometimes less is more when it comes to stage dancing.
I also bought too many costumes to start with instead of putting that money into savings. I had like 20 outfits by my first months end.
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
the worst mistake that i would say i made was not being smarter with money..
thankfully after learing my lesson saving all my cash now is my proity
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
Wasting my money. And having no discipline. I never had a drug problem but I knew how to slack off.
And if you have a shitty agent, fire them. Wish I had listened to my gut there!
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
drinking on the job..... it was hard to say no to customers wanting to buy you drinks the whole night... and i felt when i was new to dancing i had to be tipsy to perform... .. also spending money like it was my job... when u have that kind of cash in your hand, its so easy to spend it...
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
I really didn't care about hard drugs when I started, but with in a week I had been offered so many drugs that I knew it was something I would have to be cautious about. I do smoke pot however and they only real problem I had with that came from me wanting to go to house parties with people that smoked pot too. I would go and end up being around all the drugs I tried to avoid, plus, all the customers that showed up would come in thinking we were "friends" and that they could hang out without tipping. if I didn't go to a party I'd end up going to Walmart in the middle of the night and buying tons of shit I never used. I finally rented my own house about a half hour from where I was dancing; just so I had somewhere quiet to go after work.
Point being... don't spend all your money on "living it up because you can" because the party only lasts so long and so does your money if you don't put it away for a less dramatic party.
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
Having extremely low self-esteem was my problem. When I first started I had no respect for myself and didn't think I was worth the 20$ per song. When I did get dances and guys wanted to touch I'd let them (nothing below the belt tho) because I didn't think I was worth their money! I eventually dreaded doing dances or even asking for them because I was so down on myself. Then I thought if I saw another girl treating herself like I did (no matter how ugly she was) she's still a person and doesn't deserve that no matter who she is. I don't know what exactly changed me but I got myself on tract, started taking the job seriously and working on my body. I still have very low self esteem, but am finally thinking straight.
I use to work out constantly, restrict my eating, do X to help me lose weight and constantly buy new outfits, beauty products, salon treatments etc. I HAD NO LIFE! My life was trying to look better! I couldn't even let my bf see me without make-up I was so fucked in the head. I thought that I thrived off my negative feelings but I wasn't living, I was emotionally killing myself without even realizing it at the time. I finally grew up thankfully and am finally HAPPY! Even though I still feel too chubby, pale, boobs to floppy I know that it's not hardly to the extreme my fucked up mind makes it seem. I mean I'm 5'8" and 130lbs for crying out loud!
So all in all my worst mistake was treating it like a competition and getting into dancing for the wrong reasons.... mainly to validate myself. If you're mentally fucked up to begin with then dancing will make you even more fucked up or wake you up hardcore.
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
My biggest mistake was working too much. I worked 7 days a week, 10-12 hours a day for 6 months straight, and at the end of it was a wreck and had barely saved $10,000.
Now I work in three week bursts and make that amount in the three weeks. Then I put it away and live the rest of my life :) .
Also drinking- I got really used to drinking at work, and would get way too drunk. I could have made so much more if I hadn't been socializing...
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
Talking to guys too long, and trying to get them to know me as a person right off the bat. Hell ,now I realize that its a good spending regular that should be getting to know me as a person!
Darcy i signed!
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
1. Not starting sooner ::)
2. Not learning to hustle right away (I really got it down in 2001 or there abouts)
3. Socializing with the other dancers (I got caught up in too much drama)
Those are the worst mistakes in order of importance. I have always been repulsed by drugs and alcohol (well maybe a little reefer occasionally 8) ). I'm a pretty good saver (there is certianlly room for improvement), and I never cross any personal boundries w/o a lot of introspection first. Money is great, but there would have to be a lot of money for me to risk arrest, or losing my husband, or exposure to disease or... I think you get my point.
Minor mistakes:
1. believeing management is informed on the law
2. taking advice from other dancers who aren't making money either
3. believeing that all the dancers in XYZ club are banking every day, and then switching to discover that it was a lie.
4. Traveling thousands of miles to a new club on the word of the agent that it is the best club ever, to discover that pretty much the opposite of everything the agent told me is true.
Basically believing anything from anyone in this business is a big mistake. Do your own research, and be prepared to run away from any situation on a moments notice.
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
My worst mistakes so far.....
The minor mistake was talking to the hott Dj all the time and not hustling.
The major mistake was wanting more money, agreeing to meet someone outside the club, and then realizing that they wanted more than a dance......
I only deal within club walls now.
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
didn't save a cent. left dancing with all the debts i started with, got lazy, found speed, coke and started dancing relying on a few drinks to loosen me up.... hmmmm... does that cover it? end result - back in retail, paying off the debts by my measly $per hour salary, missing the club life but know i could never get myself out of the old mindset :(
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
The usual stuff:
- Giving up at some point in the day and sitting in the dressing room for an hour.
- Dancing waaaay too fast.
- Dancing with this angry look that I thought was sexy.
- Trusting another dancer with a hairbrush/body spray/biosilk/whatever.
Plus I once tried to ask a girl a question while she was giving a dance. Stupid, stupid, STUPID!
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
My favorite mistakes...
Setting the work is work rule then caving in and being friendly with a co-worker/dancer outside of work. Bad idea. Not awful but not great either. Maybe this one isn't a mistake...
Not hussling when there was a potential to make money. Big mistake,huge!
Being shy about asking for dances.
For a while I wasn't treating dancing like a "real" job. That was a huge mistake. Working on this one currently.
Becoming "friends" with a customer and then telling him how to live his life instead of thinking like a dancer and realizing that he was my pay check and taking the money while it was there. Morally I did the right thing. Financially not at all. In the end he went home to his wife and kids and that is a good thing to everything but my bank account.
Think that is it....
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
I began dancing in the late 80's.. when cash was like water... in L.A... LOL...
Hmmm.. we'd get off work, and we'd go and eat and stay up the rest of the night.. I'd buy stupid stuff, I did however, save enough to buy a car, that was my big first purchase and I paid cash for the entire thing, but I also had a little bit of help from a customer...
Mainly, my biggest mistake was being young and dumb, not really a mistake, but not putting away at least half of what I made in a month.. if I had done that in the very beginning and if I would have had the business mind that I do now, there's a lot of things that would have been a lot different in prior years.
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
It seems we all have the same or similiar mistakes when we were new (in our first year).
* Not knowing how to sell/hustle
* Being lazy @ work: socialising too much with dancers and not-so-lucrative customers
* Dancing waaaay to fast (on stage mainly)
* Not leaving my original club for the club across the street earlier due to believing what the other dancers at my club at the time were saying about that other club
* Getting off the dole sooner (I was on it for the first year I danced as I wasn't confident enough to get off it as I saw the dole as my safety net... I then smarten-ed up and have gladly not been off the dole for 2+ years! YAY!)
* Being too generous with other dancers esp. the newbies in re: letting them borrow shoes or whatever. I have now been burnt too many times to do so. I lost a near $300 pair of stilettos (they were the ones that flashed different colours in the bottom) thx to a dancer "borrowing" them.
I started when I was 23 on the night of the Sept 11 attack... I do not regret starting at that age nor at that time.
-
Re: Worst Mistakes?
Drugs...and not saving money. NOW, after every gig, I take that money and deposit it in the ATM. I put $50 in my checking (spending money) and the rest in my savings.