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Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
Guys, I have a gripe and need some answers. Every guy I have ever known takes SO long going to the bathroom. What are you guys doing in there? Why do you take papers, magazines and a cup of coffee? Is there some physiological reason that men have a harder time going #2 than women? Your also ALWAYS clogging up the toilet! WHY?!!! Can't you flush a couple of times instead of loading it up? :P
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
LMAO
You forget, some of us old timers take as long for a good #1 as the youngens take for a #2 ;) Fuckin prostate
FBR
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
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Originally Posted by FBR
LMAO
You forget, some of us old timers take as long for a good #1 as the youngens take for a #2 ;) Fuckin prostate
FBR
Word!:highfive:
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
When you're 25, you wish for a good MB. When you're 45, you wish for a good BM. (Damn, I love that joke.)
Seriously (kinda), we take so long in the toidy for the same reason men like to golf and fish: cuz you aren't there.
CP
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
Once inside his home, a man's commode is his true castle.
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
Are you sure he's not doing something else in there :O.
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
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Originally Posted by Richard_Head
Are you sure he's not doing something else in there :O.
But why would he do that when he has me?! ;)
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
I eat a bowl of fiber one every day. I still spend more time on the pot then it takes to eat that bowl. It doesn't just fly right out of me :/
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
Yeah why do girls go in groups.
If you have to go #2 do you go in groups also?
I need time to relax the muscles. Usually i bring the NY Times in with me.
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
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Originally Posted by leebay88
Yeah why do girls go in groups.
If you have to go #2 do you go in groups also?
Oh, we go in groups to talk about the people that didn't go with us to the bathroom.
I'd laugh my ass off if one of my girlfriends took a dump in public!
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
You don't wanna be too quick or they say, "Did you wash your hands?" ::)
If I get dragged to some theater event with another couple, I'll walk by the ladies' restroom with the other guy and say, "You know it's funny how you need to pee more when you have to wait in line." :D
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
Maybe it's the only place in the house where he get some fucking peace and quiet?
Lets see, a guy has a locked door, and nobody is going to interrupt him when he is taking a dump. It's an opportunity to enjoy the paper or a magazine over a cup of steaming coffee without anyone riding his ass for just a few minutes in otherwise long and stressful day. Why who knows, maybe he could even manage to read a full paragraph without having his woman or his kids interrupt his train of thought with what they want. A man's home may be his castle, but his commode is his private sanctuary.
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
I'd have to sign-up for QEDA--though now I'm not anonymous anymore, am I? ;D
Seriously, I'm a 'regular' guy and I don't understand how other guys got that way, either. It may go back to potty-training and if they got praise from their mother for doing it right!
Or maybe they got placed on the little chair and told to sit there until something happened and they still do it the same way as grown-ups?
I buy the 'get away from girls' thing ONLY if you're married and harried--but do you still do it when you're home alone? Or at times like that are you an honorary QEDA member? }:D
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
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Originally Posted by pet_rock
I buy the 'get away from girls' thing ONLY if you're married and harried--but do you still do it when you're home alone? Or at times like that are you an honorary QEDA member? }:D
Ah young grasshopper, you have so much to learn.
If a tree falls in a forest and noone is there to hear it does it make a sound?
If a man is home alone, and his woman isn't there to ride his ass, does he take a long time to take a crap?
Tough questions indeed. I can only tell you that all these times she observed him taking a long crap, she was in the house at the same time. Maybe coincidence. Maybe not???
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
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Originally Posted by xdamage
Maybe it's the only place in the house where he get some fucking peace and quiet?
Lets see, a guy has a locked door, and nobody is going to interrupt him when he is taking a dump. It's an opportunity to enjoy the paper or a magazine over a cup of steaming coffee without anyone riding his ass for just a few minutes in otherwise long and stressful day. Why who knows, maybe he could even manage to read a full paragraph without having his woman or his kids interrupt his train of thought with what they want. A man's home may be his castle, but his commode is his private sanctuary.
Amen to this...and sometimes I'll have a good book or magazine and I don't want to quit in the middle of a chapter/article, so what might otherwise be a 3 minute dump becomes a 15 minute dump.
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
I remember my third year in college, I moved into an "upperclassmen's" dormitory. The previous school year it had been an all female dorm, so we had the female style urinals in the restroom. Each stall had these nice privacy dividers around it, similar to the ones you find on a toilet stall.
For whatever reason, a week into the school year, the university decided to remove the privacy dividers. Let me tell you, nobody used those urinals until we kicked and screamed at maintenence to put them back in.
Just proves we even like to go number 1 in peace when we can.
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
To answer that question, there is no #2 with girls in groups...
that would just be wierd!
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
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Originally Posted by Lola Lee
Every guy I have ever known takes SO long going to the bathroom. What are you guys doing in there? Why do you take papers, magazines and a cup of coffee? Is there some physiological reason that men have a harder time going #2 than women?
no, i wouldn't say men have a harder time taking a dump. OTOH, women suffer more than men from anorexia or bulimia. women practice dieting or fasting more than men. women suffer more from constipation and irritable bowel syndrome than men.
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Originally Posted by Lola Lee
I'd laugh my ass off if one of my girlfriends took a dump in public!
perhaps there's a psychological difference. men have no problem telling another guy,"hey..watch this for me. i've got to go to the crapper". in fact, we even have names for our dumps (which means we spend way too much time on the shitter) like here in this old joke:
The Shit List
1. Ghost Shit: The kind where you feel shit come out but there is no shit
in the toilet.
2. Clean Shit: The kind where you shit it out, see it, but there is
nothing on the toilet paper.
3. Wet Shit: The kind where you wipe your butt at least 90 times and it
feels unwiped so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt
and your underwear so you won't ruin your pants.
4. Second Wave Shit: It happens when you're done shitting and you've
pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize you have to shit
some more.
5. Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Head Shit: The kind where you strain so much to get
the shit out you practically have a stroke.
6. Richard Simmons Shit: You shit so much you lose 30 pounds.
7. Lincoln Log Shit: The kind of shit that is so huge that you are afraid
to flush the toilet without breaking it into little pieces with the
toilet brush.
8. Gassy Shit: It's noisy; everyone within earshot is giggling.
9. Drinker Shit: The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night
of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the tread marks on the
bottom of the toilet.
10. Corn Shit: Self-explanatory.
11. Gee I Wish I Could Shit Shit: It's the kind where you want to shit but
all you do is sit on the toilet, cramped, and fart a few times.
12. Spinal Tap Shit: That's where it hurts so bad coming out you'd swear it
was leaving sideways.
13. Wet Cheeks Shit (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out of your rear
end so fast, your cheeks get splashed with water.
14. Liquid Shit: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out and
splatters all over the toilet bowl.
15. Mexican Food Shit: It smells so bad the room must be condemned.
16. Upperclass Shit: The kind of shit that doesn't smell.
17. Fisherman's Bobber Shit: That's the kind where you are in a public
restroom, there are two people waiting on your stall; you shit and
flush two times but several golf ball size pieces are still floating
above the water line.
18. Ambush Shit: This kind never occurs at home but usually at a party or
while playing golf. It is the result of trying to fart just a
little, but you end up with trouser chili and you walk bow-legged for
the rest of the day.
19. Santa Clause Shit: A shit that is so big, you have no idea how it made
it down the drain after flushing.
20. Stalactite Shit: A shit that gets stuck and hangs from your butt for a moment.
21. Deja Vu Shit: When you could swear you've taken the exact same shit before.
22. Five Alarm Shit: Your asshole burns so bad you think it's on fire.
Usually after eating really spicy chili or other spicy food.
23. False Alarm Shit: After a really big fart you think you might have
shit yourself, but you didn't.
24. Titanic Shit: The tip of the shit is visible above the water line.
25. Rainbow Shit: The kind of shit that is at least 7 different colors.
26. Gangster Shit: A shit that sounds like an automatic weapon is being
fired in the toilet.
27. Gold Medal Shit: A shit you work so hard to get out that you just have to
tell a friend about it.
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
personally, I'm doing paperwork in there.
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
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Originally Posted by mr_punk
OTOH, women suffer more than men from anorexia or bulimia. women practice dieting or fasting more than men.
I hate it when they say, "I ate yesterday. This morning was the first time I pooped in a week." What is the objective here?
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
28. Grape Shit: Shit with an eerie greenish tinge usually from drinking too much grape flavored soda, juice, or koolaid.
:drunk2:
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
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Originally Posted by Chili Palmer
Seriously (kinda), we take so long in the toidy for the same reason men like to golf and fish: cuz you aren't there.
CP
That's a very astute observation.
Oh oh, I do take longer to go when I'm in a relationship than when I'm not. Hmmm... maybe there's more truth to this theory than we realize!! :O
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Re: Why do guys spend so long on the toilet?
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
I laughed so hard reading the Shit List that I think I just shit myself!!