Why my buddy said 'NO' to a lap dance.
Well this week I took a buddy of mine to the club.. he'd told me that he'd gone for the first time recently, this was his second visit. I didn't know how much cash he had on him so I gave him a few 20's before we went in. I also bought a couple dances for him from the dancer who was working that night who I considered the most professional, who also was one of the better looking girls.
I got my dances from another, simply because she's the one who asked... (what can I say, they're all my favorites)
but what was interesting was after we left, when we were talking about it. He really liked the girl who gave me my dances, he was saying, "Gee I shouldn't have said no to her" ... he basically said that he liked her SO much, that it made him uncomfortable... he described his hypersensitivity to things that are commonly touted here as good selling techniques, such as her touching him while they were talking, etc...
Anyway, I found it interesting, especially after some of the Hustle Hut discussions I've read... I don't know how you would overcome his shyness if increasing his attraction to you is just going to make him even more uncomfortable... and I'm guessing that his reason for saying 'no' (which was definitely the real reason, not just some lame excuse he gave to her, he didn't even say it to her), is more common than I thought....
Re: Why my buddy said 'NO' to a lap dance.
Wowzers....that's pretty dang cool! It also gives another perspective (for us lady's )on not becoming adgitated and/or confussed as to why someone who seemed to like us said no. *I try stock-piling my mind with positive reasons, as to distract from the rejection and move on with a smile...so I can meet that guy for me, quickly!
Re: Why my buddy said 'NO' to a lap dance.
i dont usually think twice about it if someone says no.....who cares, i just move on to the next guy :D
it could be any of a zillion reasons, why stress over it?
Re: Why my buddy said 'NO' to a lap dance.
Stress , not really, just a "reset" button in my head!
Re: Why my buddy said 'NO' to a lap dance.
I always tell myself, what a cheap guy, sorry I even wasted any time with him. And if he's "waiting on someone else", I just know it's only his loss. 8)
Re: Why my buddy said 'NO' to a lap dance.
If I am really interested in a dancer and the feelings are at least somewhat mutual, then I will let her know she means more to me than a "paid grope" and that I would prefer to spend time and $$ on her in another setting... In other situations you get to be just "friends" with dancers OTC-(is that a oxymoron or what?), and a paid groping lapper kind of violates this OTC platonic "friendship" to a degree.
Re: Why my buddy said 'NO' to a lap dance.
^^ well I'm not sure if that stuff really relates to this thread, which is more about, how could that dancer have closed the sale, or was she better off to move on? which is what she did and what I normally would have thought was the right thing to do, until I talked to him later...
Re: Why my buddy said 'NO' to a lap dance.
She would have closed the sale by asking YOU permission to dance for your friend. Then YOU would unwittingly act as her shill for the close. I do it all the time. He would have felt more comfortable if you were "hyping" her up. If a guy is hyper-shy though, there is only so much we can do. We respond to signals as well, and only a rude and pushy dancer would keep trying to sell a guy who didn't show any signs of interest, whether physically or verbally.
Re: Why my buddy said 'NO' to a lap dance.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katrine
... [A]nd only a rude and pushy dancer would keep trying to sell a guy who didn't show any signs of interest, whether physically or verbally.
Thank you!!! Damn, you're good girl... :hat:
Re: Why my buddy said 'NO' to a lap dance.
If he really wanted a dance from the dancer, and she asked him if he wanted one, and he still said no, I'm not sure what else the dancer could have done to get him to buy. You aren't arguing that the dancers just sit around and wait for the men to ask are you?
If he was not comfortable getting a dance from this dancer for whatever reason, then a no answer is still a no answer. Guys go to the SC to have fun and relax, not to be uncomfortable.
Re: Why my buddy said 'NO' to a lap dance.
^^No, I'm not arguing for or against anything here... I was just surprised at what he said and I thought others might be interested.
Re: Why my buddy said 'NO' to a lap dance.
You can tell when guys really like you but are shy/scared. You can go nurturing or dominating... whichever I do it for about 2 minutes and if it hasn't worked I move on.
Re: Why my buddy said 'NO' to a lap dance.
dlabtot, this is a great post! I've often wondered why some men who seem to really like me run off and get dances from what I consider very bad entertainers, you know, the ones who are not attractive and have zero personality. My closes have a near perfect success rate. I rarely can tell what the ones that get away are thinking. Sometimes they just want someone sluttier looking than me and I can live with that, but the ones like your friend, sheesh. They are a difficult read. Katrine has great advice. I used it the other night and it definitely worked. Thanks!
Re: Why my buddy said 'NO' to a lap dance.
This is Dlabtot's friend, whom had the problem with the girls. However it wasn't that they were too exactly "come on strong" or too shy. The problem was I felt like a commodity. I was treated like a subject and not like a person. It's easy to gyrate on someone's pelvis, but it's harder to read someone's personality.
Re: Why my buddy said 'NO' to a lap dance.
^^^hmmm, I'd say, after reading this, that maybe he just doesn't want lap dances... so those who said to just move on, probably had the right take on it... after last night, he complained that all the dancers were nice and fun to hang with and so forth but that none of them asked him for a dance... so why didn't he just ask? I dunno...like I said maybe he just doesn't really want that...