Re: guys looking for dates
Re: guys looking for dates
Guys often find lesbians a complete turn off- dashes all hope of getting any money from that custy on the night or ever. Better to mention a boyfriend. Better still, make a joke Check out some one liners on other posts. One i got from here is "I can't, they chain me out back when I'm not working to keep me out of trouble". Say something really wierd and wonderful and completly silly so that they realise they are supposed to be having fun, not getting serious.
Re: guys looking for dates
Lesbian doesn't work, just giggle and play with their heads until the money is gone. Then tab out and make a quick exit. Its not necessarily ethical, but their propositions are no better, they know you are working. I have very little patience these days with guys looking for a girlfriend.
Or, try this line, "<giggle, giggle> Now, you really don't want to date a STRIPPER do you?" They get caught off guard and immediately respond, "oh no!" Then they realize they fucked up but no longer have a leg to stand on.
Re: guys looking for dates
It was Friday night. In some places, Friday night means alot of young boys with little money to spend but who try too hard to get dates. I find I do better with young guys now, but I recall when I was younger it was different. It also seems to be common for many older dancers to do better with younger guys. If you're a young dancer, you may just find the younger custies more difficult to deal with.
At any rate, a weekend crowd is way different from a weekday crowd. You may just be better suited to the weekday crowds, at least for now. But it's only your second day, so keep at it and try different shifts for a few weeks until you can really pick up a trend. Then try to work the shifts you average the best $$ with.
Re: guys looking for dates
They don't want to date a stripper, they want to fuck one.
Some guys are tenacious little shits. You tell them you're a lesbian and they come back with some "I can change you" crap. You tell them about a boyfriend, "I won't tell him". That's when it might be better to just walk away. Too much of a headache for the small amount they'll likely spend anyway.
Re: guys looking for dates
Try:
But I harldy know you! Let's have a few more dances so I can make up my mind!
Re: guys looking for dates
I ussually give them the number for the local mental institution. Ill act like its my number.. bank what ever $ out of them, and jet. : )
Re: guys looking for dates
Tell them what's the point?Even if I give you my real number I'm not going to answer when you call anyway...But aside from the jokes just tell them you need to get to know them better first.
Re: guys looking for dates
Quote:
Originally Posted by NinaDaisy
They don't want to date a stripper, they want to fuck one.
^
^
- 'Slight overstatement..':twocents: .
Re: guys looking for dates
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridgette
I find I do better with young guys now, but I recall when I was younger it was different. It also seems to be common for many older dancers to do better with younger guys. If you're a young dancer, you may just find the younger custies more difficult to deal with.
Wow, so it wasn't just me??? I found that the older I got, the better I did with younger customers. I thought it just had to do with the demographics of the area where I was dancing (i.e. more young guys had money), but maybe not....Interesting.
Calliope, just read around the board for advice on this and try different approaches. It'll take a while, but you'll find the ones that work for you (and you'll probably be able to figure out, eventually, which responses will work with which type of guy....)
The giggly "I hardly know you!" thing can work....Basically, you want to distract them from the topic of dating you and get them back on the topic of buying dances from you. "I hardly know you" works if you can subtly (or even not-so-subtly) imply that you might consider a date if the guy comes in regularly and spends a lot of money in the process of "getting to know you."
If they're really persistent, you can always pull the "I have a strict policy against dating guys I meet in the club....too bad we didn't meet somewhere else" ::)
You can also gently lead them on, tell them you don't give out your number but you'd be happy to take theirs....Sure, maybe we could do lunch sometime....Just be vague and flirty about it and get off the topic ASAP.
Kat, that "you don't really want to date a STRIPPER" thing is utterly brilliant. God, how beautiful. I wish I was still dancing just so I could pull that on a persistent custy.....
Re: guys looking for dates
I did not have the time or energy to play games with the guys who wanted a date. These guys are often seen later hitting on another dancer.
I always hit them with i am here to work, and i would have loved to meet you under different circumstances, but i will lose my job if i date a customer.
Oh some would come back with excuses...So. They either want to start buying dances or get the hell out of my face.
It was usually the younger guys. Be firm, but polite. It's you're JOB to dance for them, not date them.
Pamela
Re: guys looking for dates
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicolina
Kat, that "you don't really want to date a STRIPPER" thing is utterly brilliant. God, how beautiful. I wish I was still dancing just so I could pull that on a persistent custy.....
I wish I could credit myself as the originator. That line was conceived in the late 90's by a girl I know who worked at the Yellow Rose, and I've since taken it and run like hell with it, haha!
Re: guys looking for dates
Thanks guys for the valuable advice. I'm going to have to try these.
I know I should be saying that I have a boyfriend and make that my story (when put on the spot, I have the bad habit of just telling the truth).
Also I really liked "you don't really want to date a STRIPPER" and "I have a strict policy against dating guys I meet in the club....too bad we didn't meet somewhere else"
Re: guys looking for dates
Do not use the "I'm a lesbian" line on guys, it'll just intrigue them more. I almost got raped by a guy who demanded that he get a double team. I'd milk as much money as I could from them, and if they were persistent, I'd explicitly state that I kept me public and private very separate.
Ultimately, you need to learn how to say no. If you give excuses, they'll only try to dance around them.
Re: guys looking for dates
When they ask if I have a boyfriend, I tell them I have nine of them. Then they ask if they can be one of my many boyfriends, and I say, "Sure!"
Game over.
If they keep bugging you about it, you just say, "but you already are my boyfriend. I just said you could be one of them."
It's kinda like middle school.
Re: guys looking for dates
^lol, red.
That goofy (yet hard-nosed) approach works well, especially with persistent young guys who aren't looking for a real emotional connection and are unlikely to become regulars...
Quote:
Originally Posted by calliope7
I know I should be saying that I have a boyfriend and make that my story (when put on the spot, I have the bad habit of just telling the truth).
I have that same annoying habit. :)
But honestly, I don't think the boyfriend story is really much of a deterrent. It's not like they'll go, "Oh, sorry, I didn't know," and back off. They tend to ignore it, and continue explaining to you why your life will be tragically impoverished if you refuse to experience their endless charms in some OTC environment....
Ultimately, you want to find a way to let them know that there is a 99.9% chance that you will not date them. (But if you do it right, that 0.1% chance that you might will encourage them to keep spending....)
Sometimes, when I just got really fed up with the whole thing, I'd be honest. To a guy who'd seen me a few times ITC and spent a considerable amount of money, but persistently raised the subject of OTC dating, I'd say something like, "Look. I really don't date casually. And I'm nervous about dating customers, for obvious reasons. I like you. I think you're a good guy. But I'd really have to get to know you a lot better before I'd trust you enough to go out with you."
It was all true, so it didn't sound like SS. It slammed the door on the subject for the moment, but there was some vague implication that the door wouldn't necessarily stay closed forever.....and in the meantime, he might as well get a champagne room! ;)
And raising the issue of "trust" had the side benefit of encouraging him to behave himself ITC....
Re: guys looking for dates
For phone numbers, e-mail addresses, and date suggestions, I've heard dancers use, "Oh, that's against club rules. I would so get fired. I can't take the chance."
Re: guys looking for dates
We have a radio station here, that allows people to give out a certain # of theirs. They mainly use it for drunk dials from guys that tried to pick up chicks over the weekend and chicks trying to pick up guys.
When you dont want to give out your real # you give theirs. Then they play back the voicemails on air.
So, I give out that # to custys that I truly dont want to deal with. Like the young ones that tell you how bad they want to fuck you..love you and what nots. The handsy guys that then ask for a date "afterwork"
Now, the "date" can turn into a regular. Point is dont meet them outside the club, just explain that you always work. But dont say that right away. Here is how I grab big money regulars that bring me gifts.
** my only rule, if the guy is one of those hardnosed assholes that thinks his shit doesnt' stink and it's a priviledge that he ASKED YOU to even sit with him.. now he wants to take you away from it all.. lets do a VIP and chat for an hour about how great HE is and what HE can offer me. That's the only ones I do this with.
** the guys that are in midst of a divorce, desperate and just sad and lonely ... I do NOT hurt them or waste their time. No need to really make them hate women. I give them dances, tell them I cannot give out my # and wish them the best. *
Now back to how I handle the ego clients that want to play save me.
1. First off, I play into it. I smile, flirt back ..whisper in their ear etc.
2. I'll dance a few moments in the VIP then turn and talk to them. Wasting time and wasting their money .. making them take another VIP just to convince me further. ( or so they think. )
3. As they sit and tell me how shitty my club is, how ugly and whorish the other girls are.. how I could be doing oh so much more with my life. How if I let them take care of me I will never look back. blah blah. I just act interested. And I ask for their buisness card , I'll give them mine ( yes I have on made up for the club I worked at. )
4. Everytime they call , Im busy at work and not making anything. I leave it at that. I dont ask for them to come in and I dont beg for money. They always if available come to my rescue and spend the money, bring gifts and fill their egos at the same time.
This can last about 3 months. Anything longer then that is hard to do.
The guys I do this to , basically fucking deserve it. I'm not a man hater by any means. But there are the types that do NOTHING but degrade our jobs. the ladies that work with us and basically degrade us as well with their pride issues. I try and teach them a lesson and at the same time get all I can.
I had a client like this recently.
The first time I met him, I was walking by his table and he stood up and grabbed me ( and when I say grabbed i mean he twisted my arm. ) and yelled " STOP" I was already pissed by this as I dont like being mangled or yelled at .
He then bosted how he spends 1500 a visit in there, as he stood with his cheap cigar and low grade vodka on the rocks. He is a CEO , he does have money but I could give a shitless.
He's like one of those guys that tell you how big their dicks are and you get down to it and it's 3 inches pushing 4 maybe.
I did a few VIPs with him, all the while he kept stopping my dances and making me stare at him. Very strange shit and I wasn't feeling it. He also pushed and pushed for my number so he could take me out. Then he grilled me on why i wasn't married, would I go on vacation with him ( first time he met me btw. ) of course i said Yes ...He was on VIP #4 at the time.
Second time I see him, he says he's not doing any dances etc he's just there to talk to me. SO i need to sit with him. I explain im at work, can't do it and simply get up and walk off. As Im sitting with another customer , this douche bag walks up literally drags me out of the booth ( I didnt see him coming he grabbed again my arm ) He says " sydney..you ..me VIP NOW " and goes in there.
Now this entire time I think he's on charge . Um no he's not. 12 vips later a waitress comes in and informs me he isnt on charge and it's cash only. He pays for 11., refuses to pay the other. So the waitress pays me out of her pocket.( i had no clue at the time. ) finally he fucking leaves. that's after 6 hours of him grabbing my face when talking to me and getting so close i thought he was going to kiss me , I had to keep flinching.
THis last week he's in again. This time I refuse to sit with him at all. What he pulled in the VIP , face grabbing.. yelling at me...and basically robbing my club out of one VIP..i was done.
He then proceeds to spend ..2500 in the club that night in VIP's. with the waitress ( where i worked the waitresses could dance as well total fucking shit if you ask me. ) And he calls me " ice bitch" to every single person that walks by., while im on stage and to all the girls.
All because I wouldnt pay any attention to him due to his face grabbing ego pride issues.
Now true I could have made 2500 that night. But honestly, I dont know that I could have handled 8 hours OR felt safe alone with him in the VIP with his actions ( our door guy and mangmnt looks the other way ALWAYS )
But .. point is i worked him for 2months , I recieved gifts, upwards of a few grand. Bills have been paid up a few times, ( all of this while he's gone . ) while he's been in the club I've gotten around 8 grand in 2 full visits.
All because I said at one point I would go on a date with him.
So thats my story rant.
Ps the radio station voicemail shit is funny!! I've had a few actually call it and while they were drunk talking about all the nasty things they wanted to do to me and how they were waiting at the hotel /
Re: guys looking for dates
Try telling them you only date bi-guys and you would have to see him french kiss a bunch of guys before even considering a date.
Re: guys looking for dates
Quote:
Originally Posted by WiseGuy_TX
Try telling them you only date bi-guys and you would have to see him french kiss a bunch of guys before even considering a date.
Oh, that one is funny! I used to have a bad reputation for trying to get boys to kiss each other. I'll have to try that!
Re: guys looking for dates
Tart: Thank you for explaining that in such detail. I know it took a lot of time to type all that. This is news I can use! MUAH!!!
Re: guys looking for dates
i have nothing but time lol
I came home from chicago this afternoon in one of those "moods" so i am happy to vent :)
Re: guys looking for dates
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay Zeno
For phone numbers, e-mail addresses, and date suggestions, I've heard dancers use, "Oh, that's against club rules. I would so get fired. I can't take the chance."
I usually end up blaming the club too. If they keep persisting I let the conversation stop there as I dont have time to dick around 30min for one dance if that even.
If they just ask once or after the dance....I just say I dont want to go to jail for giving my information out. If they ask why I go to jail I just say we have liscenses to work here..which is true.
Besides, most guys Ive done shows/dances for either ask at the end or ask before and the ones that ask before never get a dance/show as they are fixated on getting some hot poon instead.
Re: guys looking for dates
Why not the truth here? I read <I think it was kat> who referenced something along the lines of "take his money then tell him no!"
Truth is, this would work even for me, who has only referenced his name here in the club as a methode of contact> but if asked, just play with the fantasy, and lead em on <aren't you doing that anyways?> Answer them with questions till their either cashed out or you tell them "I dunno, I just really am not comfortable with that" but, you may gain him coming back with money until he gets the hint.
I dunno tho. But you should definatly not make this question a cash killer. I know my first visit to a SC I asked for a #. But, I got it. so whats that mean to you ya know?
I was the puss bag that never called.