Stripper Shit stole my best friend
My best friend has been a dancer for a while, but over the last year or so, she has quit her normal job and just dances, and only hangs out with other strippers (these strippers aren't like you ladies! they are tacky, slutty and bitchy).
She's become TOTALLY fake. Like everytime I talk to her it seems like she's trying to get me to buy a fucking lap dance! "aww you look SOOO NICE, you smell nice, what are you wearing? awwwww thats just great, good for you!"
It is so condescending and It makes me feel like I am no one important to her. All her stupid stripper friends act the same to me aswell.
Also, she seems to be unable to seperate real life from work. She constantly making crude sex jokes and pretending to be a dumb bimbo in the most inappropriate places, like infront of my parents, when we're shopping, when meeting new people. It's like she doesn't understand that the overt sexual nature she is expected to display at work, is not really acceptable in the real world.
Men treat her like shit. She is constantly being fucked over. I told her that the fact that she is being disrespected by men soooo regularly says a lot more about her than it does them. I said she has to have a LOT more respect for herself first, because if she doesn't respect her self, why the hell should anyone else?
She's constantly crapping on about how proud she is of her job and that she'd never want to do anything else and that she's so happy. But it's turned her into such a SHIT person to be around.
I don't really know what to do about it. I've tried talking to her about it, but she's in complete denial. I think she thinks I am jealous. I just want my friend back!!
Any one else lost a friend to Stripper Shit? I need some advice! :-\
Re: Stripper Shit stole my best friend
Losing a friend to stripper shit.........hmmm............whatever happened to just growing out of each other? Have u ever had a friend that felt like was going to be ur great friend forever and then boom-something happens and ur not friends anymore? She spread a nasty rumor about u, she's dating a stupid guy, u just stopped hanging out with the same people? Sounds like thats whats happening to u...........sorry. I been there, everybody has been there, although I don't think it's right to necessarily blame it on stripping. Maybe she's trying out a new image for herself, trying to figure out what works for her. And if that's really ur girl, ur either going to put up with it and be loyal and be a good friend or ditch her because u don't feel she's being true to herself. Its ur call, babe.
Me personally, I couldn't be friends with someone that wasn't on my level anymore. We could be cool, say hi, whatever-but I wouldn't chill with that person anymore. Sometimes its a friend that's a dancer, sometimes its a friend with an obnoxious boyfriend, sometimes its a friend that just doesn't want to go out anymore because they had a kid, whatever. I stay loyal, I wouldn't do anybody dirty, but I keep my distance. Do what u need to do to make u happy.
Re: Stripper Shit stole my best friend
Well, Ive always wondered if I came off that way to my friends? I just keep my job like any other job and try not to bicth/talk about it much.
Back to your friend: I would let her know how much you value your friendship with her. Eventhough at this time you might be upset with her. It sounds like her stripper persona is going where it shouldnt. Just dont get angry with her about her bahaviour or give altimatums (sp?). How long has she been dancing? Usually this behaviour starts when youre new to dancing.
Just as I said: be firm with her but not angry, tell her how much fun you used to have doing this or that, how much you miss her being like ___, etc. I hope some of that helps. Ive never had a friend like that.
Re: Stripper Shit stole my best friend
There isn't much you can do about it.
As a friend, you feel obligated to tell her she is acting like a fool. After all, a friend is more than a sycophant.
When the confrontation finally happens, tell her what you liked about her before and what you don't like about her now.
Then walk away (and expect a few Fuck You's thrown at your back.)
After all, you have a choice about what influences and experiences you want in YOUR life.
Re: Stripper Shit stole my best friend
I make jokes about my job and am more comfortable with sex but at home am still the frumpy nerd that everyone knew and loved.
Well, maybe your pal hit her stride in life and this is her Fate to become something in this biz.
Just have a nice little talk with her about how you miss the Old Her. Honestly though, I can see her hackles going up because when my family gives me the old "you've changed" BS it's not really out of concern but rather that I'm not available to be taken advantage of anymore- by them. LOL Your pal might see everyone as trying to get a piece of her.......no matter who they are......
Re: Stripper Shit stole my best friend
I don't really hang out with strippers. I have girl friends that danced, and a few casual dancer friends, but I tend to stay away. Too much drama. The dancers I have met from this site are far and beyond the standard, they are exceptional.
Re: Stripper Shit stole my best friend
That sucks. All I can say is I hope she grows out of it (if she's been dancing less than 2 years, she may smarten up yet).
If not, you either have to accept her new flaky personality, or cut down on how often you see her. She's going to keep acting the way she wants, whether or not you think it's the best way for her to act...the only thing you can control is whether or not you're around it.
Re: Stripper Shit stole my best friend
Hmmm, she tries to get you to pay for dances? I do them for free for my friends.
Re: Stripper Shit stole my best friend
sounds like your "former best friend" has gotten caught up in all the stripper bull shit..... I'm not saying that dancers shouldn't be friends with other dancers, but from past experiences i have been screwed over by a lot of girls who i thought were my friends... she'll realize soon when someone screws her over, that mabye she should have valued the friendship she had with you....... if this friend was in some sort of major trouble, i'm not so sure the dancers would rush to go help this girl out, like you probably would.... You need to sit down with this girl and put some sense in to her head..... it takes two to make a relationship work...
Re: Stripper Shit stole my best friend
I agree that she sounds "caught up", it could be a phase, it could be a lesson to learn , it could be extra curriculara ctivites and she is trying to hold on to herself and this is all she knows right now. There a million what if's. Talk to her , do what only a friend would do and then let her do whatever she is going ot do. She'll either come around or its time to let go.....a good movie isn't all happiness, we laugh , we cry ..but we remember
Re: Stripper Shit stole my best friend
Yea,I've seen this happen before,but usually they straighten out after a while,because they learn to separate real life from work.They realize they've been acting tacky.Let her go through this process by herself,you'll have your friend back soon enough,hopefully.
Re: Stripper Shit stole my best friend
When I started to dance, I enjoyed so much that I've got stuck inside it; I abandoned several friends and things I used to care because I was inside a whirlwind of emotions. At the beginning I also hanged out with my fellow strippers, and certainly my behavior changed; however, once the thrill is worn out, I was really feeling remorse for things I had left behind and people I hurt, so I put the best of me in getting back those friendships. I'm sure that will happen with your friend.
Re: Stripper Shit stole my best friend
I have had friends that were also dancers and when we were working different schedules and seeing more of other people for long periods of time something similar to this would happen. It's not like we meant to grow apart. It was more like we were exploring new things and the other didn't seem to be interested at the same time. I've lost dancer friends to shit bf's they met at work and then been blamed that I wasn't around to stop them from doing something and then later blamed for it not working out because I WAS around.
So what I am saying is just let it be. Tell her that you and her just seem to be at different points in your life and that whenever she's ready to be real friends again that you'll be happy to hear from her. If you get too involved in telling her what you don't like about her anymore you'll just risk alienating her and making her feel like she is fucking it up but then she'll turn and blame it on you. So just let her know you still care, but put some distance there for awhile.
Re: Stripper Shit stole my best friend
There is nothing you can do. Move on. It's sad...but that's life.
If she calls you and wants to do something, just tell her you don't have time. And, keep blowing her off. If she asks you why you won't do anything with her anymore, then tell her. Other than that...just move on.
Re: Stripper Shit stole my best friend
^^^I agree VG.
I tried to be there for a few friends before; when their job got the best of them. It never works.
As a matter of fact there are 2 girls I work with now, that I tried to "mother/mentor" (whatever you want to call it) and know to see them I want to cry.
They were both so damn cute and full of life. Now they are rude, bitchy, and skanky. Nothing is ever good enough for either of them. It's sad really.
I would just keep blowing her off and when she finally gets the picture, let her know exactly why.
Good Luck!
Re: Stripper Shit stole my best friend
I think I read it on this board but it was something like "you have to let it be a JOB, not a lifestyle" It sounds like your friend can't seperate the two, and it may be best to move on.
Re: Stripper Shit stole my best friend
They say...
When you die.
You will be able to count your true friends on one hand.
(and still have a finger left to pick your nose or scratch your ass)
Re: Stripper Shit stole my best friend
I once had a girlfriend who was the coolest down to earth girl in the world. We could talk and hang out and really be comfortable with each others company, smoke a little, drink and so on...it was nice. Then, college. She joined a sorority. I did not join a fraternity. She changed. I still liked her a great deal, however,it was now ALWAYS about my sister this or this function that or just a bunch of inane crapola. She changed. Still the same on the outside but trying on different shoes. Happens.