First club experience. Not what I expected. Looking for insight.
This is not a trip report. I have some questions for everyone. Please bear with me.
About two weeks ago, my wife suggests at about 10pm that we go bowling. The kids are in bed, so we let our oldest daughter know that she will be baysitting. While bowling she suggests that we go to a strip club. Let me tell you that I was in shock on the one hand, but not totally surprised.
The back story here is that my wife has recently been treated for an anxiety disorder. It seems that she is coming out of her shell and wants to try a lot of new things. And this was not the first new thing in recent months. I have also been curious like most men, so I went along for the ride.
The club we went to is close to Chicago. At first, we got a table. My wife suggested I get a dance and bagan pointing out the ladies to me. Finally, a woman, who later told me she is a massage girl, sat down with us. I won't use the name she gave us, I'll just call her M. So my wife says let's do this right and get one of the rooms. Again, I am just going along for the ride.
I'll spare you the details, I'll just get to the part where this diverges from the experience most people have. My wife decides to leave M and me alone in the room. She went to the bar to talk to people. So we start talking about why my wife and I came that night. And so I tell her what I have already related about my wife's anxiety disorder. M tells me she has gone through the same thing. And so we spent most of the rest of the night just talking about living with a spouse that has that problem. Again I will spare you the details because it is both personal and painful. The one part I feel I have to share is that we both ended up crying and holding each other because this is the first time either of us has met someone who has lived through that.
So to sum it up, I went there to have a good time with my wife, and I end up with catharsis. I have about a million questions and feelings about this experience. It's been a rough couple of weeks mentally.
Can anyone else relate to this experience? I feel like I found a friend who I would like to reach out to. But I don't think we'll be going back to the club for some time and and even then I don't know M's schedule. What do you think would be a good way to contact her? If I left a message with someone in the club, do you think they would pass it on to her? Or is that discouraged?
Thanks for taking the time to read this. It feels good just to get it off my chest.
Re: First club experience. Not what I expected. Looking for insight.
I've found a lot of symapthetic ears in SC's over the years but you need to remember why every woman in that room is there-to earn a living. You can pay a shrink or you can pay a stripper to listen to you. I'd rather pay a stripper.
If you want to go in looking for her thats great-bring cash. Don't even bother trying to get a message to her. You may be able to contact the club for her schedule and go see her in person.
Re: First club experience. Not what I expected. Looking for insight.
You had an emotional connection with another woman. Whatever you do...don't see her again without your wife knowing or what you may experience is her with another guy. From what you said in your post it seems that she put you in this position so she can meet some new people guilt free.
I for one love connecting on that level with new people, when they're half naked and all sexed up even better.
Re: First club experience. Not what I expected. Looking for insight.
Ask the club when she works,go in,bring cash for her(tell her you will "take care of her for her time to talk") and talk to her. It's nice you have something in common,but we are all hear to make$,it's are time of work. If she was really wanting an exchange for friendship outside the club she would of gave you a way to contact her outside the club. It's good you had a nice experience at the club,see we aren't all the bad people make us out to be.Spread the word!
Re: First club experience. Not what I expected. Looking for insight.
Tricky, tricky situation. If you would like to go back to see her again, call the club manager and tell him you liked M, and would like to come in again when she is working and take her to VIP or the Champagne room. Ask him how to go about figuring out when she is working.
Again, if you go back, bring lots of $$...lol, no seriously, you have to give this girl AT LEAST four hundred bucks to talk to you about this subject, because it obviously gets at her emotionally and will probably stir up her feelings all night long and make her not as good at making money later. Give her the money as soon as you get in the club, so she relaxes immediately and knows you're not just trying to sit there and chat with her while she needs to be making a living.
Also, even though you do have a connection with this girl, don't expect her to be your "real life friend." She probably wants to keep your relationship in the safe context of strip club life.
Re: First club experience. Not what I expected. Looking for insight.
[QUOTE=LOGANLAKEN] If she was really wanting an exchange for friendship outside the club she would of gave you a way to contact her outside the club. QUOTE]
I agree with this completely its good she helped you but be careful what you beleive in a club.Did her acting this way result in her making more money?Cause if it did i would think twice about just going in and dropping 400 bucks just because it might upset her unless you would have anyways .Every dancer i have "connected"with has given me a way to get in touch outside the club even if it meant months of getting to know each other on the phone before meeting again.Now before i get flamed im not saying not to do it just be careful about it there is alot of competition in the club and a lot of very good hustlers.Another thing she might have seen was an oppurtunity to not have to dance for her money but either way you got what you needed so it was good.It sounds like you are going through enough without having to spend all your money to get someone to talk to about it.If she truly is a caring person a phone conversation to talk to you about it would be enough for her.Not that she should sit in the club and talk to you about without making money though dont expect that.It does happen occasionally but rarely.Anyways good luck to you i kinda know what your going through its the reason why i got divorced and started going to the clubs so i know the risks.