makeing sure parents dont find out
I just moved back with my parents. they knew i danced before but they dont approve and i dont want them to know. they place i want to work again is an hour away and i have to work atleast 4 days. how can i make sure they dont know?i told them b4 when i danced i was cocktailing.they eventually found out. i love dancing so much but i dont want them to know. :'(
hlp plz
Love
Gia
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
I've been dancing 3 years and my parents never found out. :) I moved back in with them about a year ago and well, not having rent is nice... But I had to back to hiding it. I just keep the clothes and shoes I don't use in a suitcase under my bed with a lock on it and a shoulder bag of the stuff I DO use regularly and my license in my trunk... with a lock on it just in case! So, when you leave for work you can say you're going out with friends or whatever excuse you feel like, get in your car without a bag, and just drive away :)
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
One of the most likely ways that your parents could discover your dancing is tax returns ... and this is particularly the case if you are living at home and your parents attempt to claim you as a dependent on their own taxes.
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
My parents seem to think i have been a waitress at Hooters. I have never told them i did they just kindof assumed it after overhearing talk of the dressing room and seeing the extreme makup if they happen to be visiting when I arrived home.
Keep everything under lock and key! If you happen to see someone in the club that knows you or your parents just explain the delicasy of the situation and hope for the best.
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
um i am the one u need to talk to about parents finding out.... whatever you do don't leave your dancing stuff anywhere they could find it.... i tried to hide my things, my nosey mother found them anyways.. i would highly suggest moving out so that u won't have to be as careful..
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
I think it would be hard if you worked the night shift and were coming home at 3 a.m. all the time. (bar closes at 2+ 1 hr. drive=3a.m) But it would be easy to hide if you worked day shift. I feel for ya. Keep stuff in car,try to remove extra makeup before returning home. Dont complain that your "sore" from work or anything. Dont play stripper type music in room,where it could possibly trigger her rememberance of you dancing. These are just hints,good luck in hiding it. I have hid it for a loooong time 15 ish years. But then again I dont live at home.
By the way I AM a grown up!
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
I was just telling my parents that I cocktail. That was until my mom asked how my first night of cocktailing was and I said "Ok". Then she asked how much the dancer's could possibly make. When I told her, she said "Screw cocktailing, just go dance and tell your father your still cocktailing!"
Funny how things work out.... :P
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
Quote:
Originally Posted by GumdropStickyKiss
I just moved back with my parents. they knew i danced before but they dont approve and i dont want them to know. they place i want to work again is an hour away and i have to work atleast 4 days. how can i make sure they dont know?i told them b4 when i danced i was cocktailing.they eventually found out. i love dancing so much but i dont want them to know. :'(
hlp plz
Love
Gia
Sorry i'm going to be blunt about this.....stop lying and grow up!!! You can't let your parents run your life forever. If this is something that you enjoy doing and you make decent money at it then that's the way it is. If you aren't ashamed of it you shouldn't have any problem telling them that this is what you've chosen to do for now. Obviously I understand that they don't approve, but i'm pretty sure they'll still love you. If not then they shouldn't have had children if they weren't prepared to deal with the decisions that they make when they are grown. Anyhow, start working, save up some money and move out. You have to live your own life girl. Good luck and I really advise you that telling them is the best way to go. If you come to them as an adult and explain your point of view it comes across much better than hiding it and them finding out. Not to mention they'll find out if they did before.
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
Not to be harsh, but I'm sort of with Furra on this.
Both of my parents know I dance, and while my father may be dissapointed that this is how I am using my college education (har-har), oh well.
I may just be lucky to have understanding parents or whatever, but....
Im sure that you are a fine young lady and your parents realize that.
You don't have to blatantly tell them you're a stripper, tell them you waitress at a gentleman's club if that's what you want to do but....
You're obviously a grown woman. Just do your thing, and don't live in fear of them finding out.
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
I think I'm going to join the ranks of those being blunt. Just tell them.
Honestly, it will seem a whole lot more mature if you tell them and explain why you are doing it, than it will if they find out by accident and you look like the little kid hiding stuff.
If they didnt disown you for you dancing before, they won't this time either. They will probably be more angry at the lies.
If you tell them, and they arent happy about it, that is fine. You can keep work stuff to a minimum in the house, and not talk about work wth them. Just because they know you dance, doesnt mean they need to know the nitty gritty details.
Whatever you decide, good luck.
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
Well, I am in a situation where I have to be around my loved ones frequently but they don't like my job. So I minimize evidence of it to avoid trouble. Yes, keep everything locked up. Buy some make-up wipes or baby wipes to keep in the car so you don't come home with Stripper Makeup on your face. Don't leave your dance outfits lying on the bathroom floor (sometimes I would put my street clothes on over a spandex bikini, then leave it all on the floor...sloppy.)
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
I think even if you lie to your parents they will find out. Parents know EVERYTHING...even if you don't think that they do. I am in the same sort of situation, I am moving back in with my dad in 2 weeks but only for three weeks before I leave for the UK, regardless I will still be dancing. I am not planning on lieing to hin about it but I am not going to openly tell hi what I do as well. I know its hard...the reason I don't want to tell my dad is because I am his little princess and don't want to spoil that...what are your reasons for not telling them? Do you think they will disown you? They found out before and didn't. Anyway, regardless of all this parents are not stupid and will find out eventually. My advice is not to try and hide it and just tell them the truth when they ask. If all else fails, your a dancer and can afford to move out again :)
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
Have to disagree w/ the telling of the parents. I would NEVER tell my parents. The would be so disappointed. Dancing is a part-time thing for me. I also have a professional job, and working towards a Master's degree. It is not that I am not "grown up" I don;t think it is their buisness. I am living @ home for the next 2 months, until Jan. I pay for college, and they don;t give me spending $$. I think that this is a situation that comes down to the individual. Some parents may be more liberal than others. I am an adult, and that is why I don't feel the need to tell my parents all the details of my life. If stripping is your career that is different. Then your whole life becomes a lie. I personally never plan to tell my parents. Everyone is different. My family would be very disappointed, and would never understand. I am not ready to open Pandora'a box.......
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
i know. some families are very conservative. the truth could hurt them so much. my mom was an active feminist in the 70s and she thinks women shouldnt mercify their bodies like that. she paid for my degree at the university, and she d be heartbroken knowin i dance naked in front of men.
the rest of my family are catholics going to church every sunday they would never accept /understand what i do.
so i guess most depends on how bad the knowledge of yr strip dancing can hit them...
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
I told my mother I'm a go-go dancer at a Manhattan night club. I was like, "Go-go dancers don't take their clothes off" and she was like, "I DON'T CARE!!" I'm sure she knows the full truth now and just doesn't want to talk about it. I stay at her place a lot now (might as well live here) and I talk about going to and from work, we talk about my finances, and she talks about pole tricks and stage names. There's no point in trying to hide it, they will find out anyway and it will be more difficult to deal with than if you were just honest.
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
I think if you are a grown woman, making your own money and running your own agenda then you have no obligation to tell your parents what you are doing to be independent UNLESS you are living with them, that I think is a different story, especially if it's long term. That sort of becomes their business, you are living under their roof and they can set certain rules. Maybe they wouldnt like their daughter coming home 3 or 4am everyday, or hear loud music in the house, rowdy friends over and whatnot. Even if you don't do those things, you are still depending on them for a roof over your head. Most parents wouldnt like the idea of their daughter dancing half naked in front of men, but thats their problem!! Show them you are responsible, you will feel better that you wont have to sneak around, and just live how you want to without getting in each others way
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
Hey, I'm not a dancer of course but I've done a lot of stuff in my life that I would never tell my parents about... I mean, why? if it's something I know they can't accept - why cause an unnecessary conflict? sure it would be nice if they could really just accep me for who I am so that is not to be so I'd rather enjoy some amicability.
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
thx for all your advice. I really appreciate it :) ive been talking to them about it. Im bad at hideing things. Especially from them. There rule is *if u do that u cant live here* and I asked when id have to move out and they said BEFORE you even start. they are pretty set on that. wich sucks. I think its more my dads rule then my moms. my dad is 56. He is pretty old fashioned. I think it would be really hard to move out FIRSt b4 I even get the job. Its a small club and I dont make as much as I did in Clearwater there. I really love dancing and I want to go back. Maybe I could make a deal with them to lemmie do it for a week then I'll move out.I dont know. I hope things work out. My blood is boiling to dance again. ;)
thx allot
luv
Gia ::)
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
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Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
I totally agree with logan820-everyone's parents are different. Some parents are more open-minded and don't have a problem with their daughters dancing, and some parents (like mine) would never talk to their daughter again if they found out she was a dancer. I went to college and if my parents found out that I dance, they would be disappointed and they would feel as though I'm wasting my college education, even though they didn't help me pay for it. They also feel dancing is morally wrong and I'm sure they would disown me if they found out I dance. If you're living with your parents, it is going to be damn near impossible to hide your job in the long run, so it's best to get your own place.
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
I told my parents, and it was THE WORST thing I EVER did, and the only thing I regret doing in my whole life. You can try it, but be prepared for them to drive you so insane that you end up quitting. My parents were real jerks about it and extremely unsuportive, which suprised me... I thought I knew them better. OR, tell them, and if they freak out, just lie and say you quit. Then move out and don't let them find out again.
Re: makeing sure parents dont find out
Best bet is to have your own place if possible and do what you want to, when you want to, how you want to. You can still have them in your life but you dont have to tell them anything about how you make a living