Can anyone help me get pass the scared part of wanting to become a stripper? How can I hide this from my boyfriend and family?
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Can anyone help me get pass the scared part of wanting to become a stripper? How can I hide this from my boyfriend and family?
are you sure hiding it from your bf is a good idea? secrets can be really hard on a relationship. parents though can be a totally different case.
it's hard to hide anything esp. if your parents/boyfriend is/are nosey and also if you are really close to all of them...
It is impossible to hide. One day you will accidently leave a pair of dance shoes in your car when y'all are going somewhere together, or he'll start wondering where you are all the time, or a friend might see you there, or his dad might see you there. :)
Plus, you need to sit down and think about what you said. You want to hide something from your boyfriend. Something is wrong here. I'm no love doctor but if you are hiding something from your mate then you don't need to be together.
It isnt good to hide anything from loved ones. I understand that you may not want them to know right now but if you do become a dancer and you become more comfortable in that skin and plan to do it for a while eventually you will want to let them know what you do and have them accept you for it. You cant hide your life or the way you feel forever. Im pretty sure your family will come to peace with it, as far as your boyfriend he might have some hang ups but unless he is insecure about himself and your relationship already, then eventually he will have to come to peace with it also. But what worse way for your boyfriend to find out then to find out from someone else? You dont want to risk that. Good luck.
If you're scared to strip and feel you have to hide it from those you love,why do it!?!
Hiding it from a romantic partner is a terribly bad idea. After all, trust is a central part of that relationship, and he has a right to know. If your boyfriend or husband isn't comfortable and can't come to terms with your working as an exotic dancer, then your relationship isn't going to work if you pursue that choice.
On the other hand, hiding this from parents, in-laws, siblings, casual friends, etc., may be an essential part of avoiding their retribution for your choices. My opinion is that they've got a right to be concerned and express that concern, and that would be fine if that's all the farther they would take it, but they've got no right to assault us emotionally or punish us for it. Almost as bad is if they're going to worry incessantly about it. If I suspect someone will have one of these overly harmful reactions to knowing the truth, and I automatically assume most would, I'm either mum or, when questioned, outright deceptive about it.
-Ev
Yeah some parents just couldn't come to terms with this, namely highly moralistic, religious, and/or conservatives. That would be my family, so they won't get to know. Luckily I don't live with them so this won't be too challenging.
Hope everyone's advice helps!
I agree with everyone here about not hiding it from your boyfriend.... especially when you begin dancing, you need a special type of support from him, and if you are afraid to tell him than you need to ask yourself if it's because of who HE is, or because you're ashamed of what YOU are.
As for family, I hide my dancing from my brother because it would hurt him a lot, and I don't want to hurt him. I told him I work as a server for a catering company that does private parties, which is why I work nights and why he can't ever visit me at work. It works fine, and keeps him happy.
Gee, I can't see THAT, hiding it, causing any problems! But, seriously, you know that eventually, a friend of your BF's, of you BF himself, is gonna see you dancing......then what? Tell him, dammit...its YOUR life.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sexxy&Petite
I know how you feel girl, but evan_essence is right. Trust is very important in a relationship. If you don't tell your SO now, when he finds out later he'll be angry
that you tried to hide it. The parent issue isn't so big though you can just tell them you're a waitress. But when my dad found out because Mom told him after I moved out, he said "Don't you want to do something better with your life besides taking your clothes off for money? Don't you have any self respect??" To which I replied "This isn't a permanent job for me, it's merely a stepping stone to get there. And yes, I have plenty of self respect." He didn't agree, but simply said "OK" and shut up...
It's a hard thing to tell your boyfriend. My BF is extremely jealous, and if I ever told him I want to start stripping, he would have a heart attack. He can't even handle guys looking at me in a dance club, so you can imagine what kind of guy he is. I'm thinking that when I start in the New Year, a few things might have to change between us.
Do what's best for you and don't listen to anyone else.
An abuser? They generally start out that way. I would run screaming from anyone that possessive, jealous, or insecure. That kind of thing never turns out well.Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetjayda
Hiding it from a boyfriend is ok. That is if its been less then 3 months. Anything more I would tell him ,he will know the person you are and can see it's not the sterotypical thing he thinks it is. Hiding from parents is ok to,Iv'e been hiding it for 16 yrs. they are never the wiser.