Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
OTB - this is why I dont tell people what I do off the bat.. UNLESS im in a mood to argue or just f*ck with peoples heads... its fun to get into a whole conversation with some moron about dancing... oh you should see the questions I get when I tell them about my last job ::)
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Addicted_To_Sex
Well, if you do a search in the forum, you will see so many members of this forum have already had sex with customers... or have given them oral (or vice-versa). So, you should understand why people ask you that...
That SAY they have had sex with customers, or visa versa... some people lie to make themselves appear to be more than they are.
Pointless as your statement is and pointless as my empathy for the idiots that continue to ask the questions that will end in me and other people with half a brain giving them that look that says.. I'm dumbfounded, you've got to be kidding, I can't believe that stupid crap just oozed out of your mouth.
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
Crow,he's a man,that's why.I think a man's point of view is moot in this thread.
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Addicted_To_Sex
Well, if you do a search in the forum, you will see so many members of this forum have already had sex with customers... or have given them oral (or vice-versa). So, you should understand why people ask you that...
No! A customer who CLAIMS to have had sex with a dancer. You dont say!!! ::)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crow
That SAY they have had sex with customers, or visa versa... some people lie to make themselves appear to be more than they are.
Pointless as your statement is and pointless as my empathy for the idiots that continue to ask the questions that will end in me and other people with half a brain giving them that look that says.. I'm dumbfounded, you've got to be kidding, I can't believe that stupid crap just oozed out of your mouth.
^^Seriously. I love that last line... so smooth...
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
Quote:
Originally Posted by onlythebest
I am just really disgusted with the Y-chromosome right now.I think I may become a nun.Another thing,how freakin' cheesy and cliche is it to have sex and perform other "favors" in a strip club anyhow?????Sheesh.
Look, those guys are jerks, but isn't it true that a lot - or most - of 'civilian' women hold the same stereotypes? And would probably be even more spiteful about expressing them? I dont think it's strictly a man thing.
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
I'm talking from the aspect of dating.I couldn't be friends with women that were closed minded like that.
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
So I'm the only one who says:
"oh, yes, all the time. But only standing up. Because I don't want to get pregnant."
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
I'd say
" Why do you pay for sex often?"
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
Quote:
Originally Posted by TigersMilk
Same here Venus..If I didnt know any better Id think he was gay. I had a guy arrogantly tell me he was a male stripper....I laughed at him. He said in a way that I was suppose to like him more after that statement. The stripper thing didnt bother me it was his overt arrogance.
I've always thought I would do well as a male stripper. People would pay me a fortune to put my cloths back on. ;)
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
Quote:
Originally Posted by onlythebest
I have had it with men asking if I have ever done anything sexual in the club when they find out I dance.
Idiot: What kind of work do you do???
Me: I dance topless.
Idiot: Have you ever slept with any customers or gave them oral in the club???
Me: Excuse me,what kind of sick,perverted question is that???!!!!!
These are guys I meet online,at the store,etc.,asking me this most moronic question.I am so sick of it.It just goes to show how they really feel about you after they find out you dance.
UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!
>:( >:( >:(
One of the reasons that sometimes it's not such a bad idea dating one of your regulars or semi-regulars??, as they often have more respect, appreciation, and understanding of your JOB than do the outsiders whose "stereotypes" of you are based upon outside perceptions and not the realitys of most clubs.
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
Quote:
Originally Posted by tmlsuperspice
Unfortunately, with so many young women going into porn or prostitution starting out as dancers, it is no wonder so many dip shit dudes think that extras are standard! For some chicks, it is just a part of the hustle! It's NOT fair to the real ladies who won't pull stunts...but it's just one of those things you got to deal with in the industry.
Yea, sadly it's true. I've not worked since I moved, but back home (no, not saying where) there were over 20 clubs in the metro area, and I would only even consider working in 2 of them. To me, that means MOST of the other girls are doing more than I would do.
So, when people expect me to be a certain way because of what I do, I understand why. I know that the majority off girls, in the majority of clubs, do things I would never even consider. But that rarely happens, because I never tell anyone what I do, and when cornered I just change the conversation to something else embarrassing (my student loans, my other long term career goals).
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Silky
I understand all this and hate it too. Guys think it is cool to ask those questions. If i say DANCER, STRIPPER ... it means i am a dancer who strips... not any form of prostitute.
However, I like to test guys. I like to hint around and find out the attitudes that a guy holds about strippers BEFORE i tell them that i am one. I do this because i hate the fact of a man saying how much he understands and respects strippers just to please me. I will say... i like to go to strip clubs... blah blah... general convo until i get enough information to see how he feels. Then i break the news =)
YES! YES! YES! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I DO!!!!! ::Orgasms at the fact that there is someone else like me out there:: I'll mention that one of my friends is stripping her way through an Ivy League university, and just happen lead the coversation in that direction. However, it makes me so mad at people who say stuff like, "They're putting themselves in a position where they're more prone to getting raped, so they deserve it," or if they mention the time they attached a dollar to a thread and played stripper fishing at a club. However, it's a really great way to see one's true colors.
It's psychologically proven that guys tend to act first and think later. This is breeding grounds for tactlessness. When guys ask that question, they're asking many other questions as well, such as:
- Are you potential girlfriend material, or a one-night stand?
- Do I have to be on my best behavior aroud you and treat you like a lady, or are you "cool" (slutty and lacking of self respect) enough so that I can show my true misogynistic colors?
- What's stripping like? How does it really work? All I know about clubs are my drunk 18th birthday experience and the media.
- Are you going to be an arm candy girlfriend who's a mindblowing lay?
- Am I at risk for contracting an STD if we get it on?
- What are my limits with you?
Mostly, guys just think that you're more open to such things, and start treating you like you're not a lady because they think that they can drop the good guy act.
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
LOL,I like reading your posts.
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
I'll never forget this quote from Dolly Parton (a childhood role model LOL)- she said when she was a little girl, she saw a woman walking through town with blown-out blonde hair, a tight dress, red red lips and painted fingernails. She thought she looked like a beautiful princess. She asked a grown-up who that lady was. "Oh, she's the town tramp," she was told.
And obviously, Dolly took this mental impression on her brainpan seriously, & now owns a theme park and a few million bucks worth of music. Has been married forever to the same man, and is by all accounts a nice, Christian lady.
My moral- the people who say dumb things to you because you look sexy are probably not half as successful. Or smart. Or full of character. Stand up straight, and remember, they're just jealous.
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
Quote:
Originally Posted by madmaxine
I'll never forget this quote from Dolly Parton (a childhood role model LOL)- she said when she was a little girl, she saw a woman walking through town with blown-out blonde hair, a tight dress, red red lips and painted fingernails. She thought she looked like a beautiful princess. She asked a grown-up who that lady was. "Oh, she's the town tramp," she was told.
And obviously, Dolly took this mental impression on her brainpan seriously, & now owns a theme park and a few million bucks worth of music. Has been married forever to the same man, and is by all accounts a nice, Christian lady.
My moral- the people who say dumb things to you because you look sexy are probably not half as successful. Or smart. Or full of character. Stand up straight, and remember, they're just jealous.
I cannot tell you how much I loved reading this,Maxine.Mucho besos to you!!!
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
I always knew Dolly was one smart lady!
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
Dolly Parton is an alternate and very valid view of feminism. She and Loretta Lynn are two of my idols.
More Dolly quotes:
-I would have burned my bra in the 60s, but it would have taken the fire department three days to put it out.
-The reason I have a small waist and small feet is that nothing grows well in the shade
-You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
LoL... i did the convo thing to a guy i met on new years, and he made the crackhead stereotype remark. He then kind of rephrased it to say all the one's he knew were crackwhores or something... but i tuned him out. Still did not tell him. He was also telling me he was rich but thats another story.
Another thing... yes we dancers know that there are lots of girls that give ACTUAL dancers a reputation for doing more than dancing. Guys that do not visit strip clubs much( or only have met extra girls) may fall into this stereotype. Still, any mature person should know that it is rude to just toss out sensitive questions . I would think that any rational person understands that there are good and bad seeds of every mini-subculture/occupation. Haha if not they better learn! It really does come down to not thinking before you speak,,, or just not caring what you say. The fact that these guys ask this question, possibly without even thinking of the fact that she could be an exception to what he THINKS is the "norm" of strippers... is plain rude... in my opinion. This goes for anyone asking questions of any occupation/lifestyle. If her potential suitors really did only meet extra dancer girls,he could frame his communication message more appropriately to her(when he gets to know her better, unless he really needs to know in order to continue conversing with her.) He could use something along the lines of "Hey, i would like to know a little more about your job. The dancers i have encountered.... or the rumors i hear are....can you give me your experiances.. clarifications...opinions?" Just blurting out questions like a 5 year old is rude.
Guys that just blurt out "oh have you done this?" "have you done that", lead me to think that they already believe i do...or are just asking as a form of mockery ( instead of an actual mature interest that he needs clarified.)
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
What really gets to me is not the quesitons about sex, but that on drugs.
Instiinctively, some assume that strippers are heavy drug users and will
offer me some.
When coming to work one night, one man who I had seen from time to time
approached me, tried to give me some coke bag with a business card in
the plastic bag. Told me to come see him, more money, fun times at the
Yacht club. etc.
This really got to me, I don't know why, but it did.
It was very hard for me to control it, but I did. I smiled, made a few small
stupid jokes and told him, not available, was working.
Oh, well, he shoved a twenty to me and told me to take it.
Heck, I told him, wait until we get inside the club and let me earn it.
And that was it. One of my co-workers finally went with him.
Yeah, more power to her. Upward and Onward.
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
Unfortunately both males and females tend to stereotype strippers. It sucks. It's a sad reality of the world. I have a professional job and tend to keep my opinions on just about everything to myself unless I really get comfy with the person I'm working with. I've heard all kinds of put downs relating to women being strippers. I bet they'd never guess I'd done it. So I guess they are stereotyping me too because I'm just the "sweet petite little girl in a suit with a young face" who works with them. I've gotten interesting reactions from the ones who've seen the "porn star" sticker on my car. They are like "WHY do you have THAT on your car?" I just say "I guess you don't know me that well." Actually the stickers is not there anymore but I do still have a "support lapdancing" ribbon. Seeing a person's reaction sort of lets me know what kind of person they are. By going to school as a kid with a student body that was comprised of 99% snobbish assholes I learned at an early age the harsh relatities of how ignorant people can be. Just do your own thing and fuck 'em if they are ignorant. Not all guys are like that and neither are all women.
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
Where can i get a support lapdancing ribbon lol?????
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
You know what? I don't know the percentage of dancers who do that sort of thing, but that really doesn't matter. Even if it were a majority it's still an innappropriate and tacky thing to ask to someone you don't know fairly well. It's called TACT. People who act this way are assuming that just because this person is in a certain profession they are somehow looser in character or deserve less respect than someone in a different position. It may or may not be subconcious, but that's really flat out the situation.
Someone earlier mention complete strangers asking whether her breasts were real or not, and I think that's a good perfect parallel.
Re: I Have Had It!!!!!!!!!! (RANT)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Silky
Where can i get a support lapdancing ribbon lol?????
i know, ,me too!