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I HATE Dancing Now!
I've been dancing on and off for 3 years now, sometimes the periods in which I dance are longer and sometimes they are very short. I have a day job (I make ok money) I only do it when I need money or wanna make a large purchase. I've been dancing consistently for past 2 months again and I just cannot bring myself to go to work. I need the money. I just hate everything about dancing, I have no motivation to go, and going just reinforces my hate.
I'm not gonna stop, because I do need the money but the money is not enough of a motivator anymore. I'm not going to find another part time job because I have other things in my life that I need to attend to and dancing is the only thing that fits in.
I've just come looking for support and maybe some motivation, some positive comments.
Just thinking about going to work makes me feel very anxious.:-\
Shayden
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
I understand. I was felling like this for the past month. I need motivation too. It's sad when lots of money doesn't help with motivation!
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
I feel exactly the way you feel lately (I just wrote a post on anxiety before going to work- lol, actually not going to work most of the time because of it.) Except you are so lucky that you have a day job at least! I quit my day job and I'm only doing the dancing but lately I really really want to go back to school or find a second job and not rely completely on dancing.
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
i can empathize with this....the feelings you describe were the ones i was feeling when i quit. i think that after a period of time, if dancing (or the motivation for money etc.) is not something that you love, then these feelings emerge. it can be hard or impossible to go in. some girls love dancing and continue to and make it a career, and all the power to them. every girl has different period of time that she can dance.
i can't offer motivation....and since money isn't enough of an incentive, then maybe a club change? it's good that you have other things though so at least you have options and choices. maybe that's worth a bit of comfort :)
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
Shayden sorry to hear that hun.
Wish i had some advice for you but i don't as im not dancing.
Just wanted to say hi though nice to see you around again
Seraya.
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
I just wanted to add that this is NOT burnout. I flat out HATE everything about dancing, I hate the dancing part, I hate lap dancing, I hate the men, I hate being there, I hate talking to anybody, I just hate it. It's definitely something that I'm just not made to do anymore. I did my "time" in the business, for me it's over.
I've officially quit so many times, I usually always land myself in some kind of debt and I go back for a week and then quit again. It's nice I can do that when I need the extra money. Because trust me my day job covers the bills and that's about it. But I'm willing to settle with that because I hate dancing.
I'm just having a hard time getting my butt in there because I have such a horrible attitude because I hate it.
I need to do because I need to wrap up some big financial debt that I have in a short amount of time.
I just dread it.
Shayden
Hey Seraya, long time no talk, thanks for saying hi. PM me sometime.
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
I'm sorry you HATE dancing....I mostly enjoy dancing, but can sympathize with you about how sometimes it isn't the greatest. I have days where i just don't want to go into work, days where I don't make any money and days where everyone seems to piss me off or get on my nerves!
Sounds like you need to get yourself out of debt and stay out! If your day job only pays for your bills than that's all that you should be doing...paying your bills. It's just a case of living within your means. Dancing sure can bring in the money if you are at the right place, but if it's something you absolutely hate like you say you do then i'd suggest looking for something else to do or to stop spending or buying things you don't need. Good luck sweetie, I'm sure you'll make it through this bout of dancing and be able to move on in life!
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
Shay, man I'm sorry to hear your having such a rough time of it right now.
I alwasy loved your posts, and listened to your opinions with earnest.
Have you tried getting a part-time job waitressing or being door girl or bartending, something along that line? You still get the cash pay every night, but you don't have to deal with as much for the most part.
I don't really know what else to tell ya, except for good luck and I hope things work out.
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
Aw Shayden sweetie I'm so sorry to hear you going through this. I can totally empathize with hating everything about it and having no motivation to go in. How long are your shifts? Maybe if you just do a half shift it will be more bearable.
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
My thought was to take a part time job bartending or cocktailing at a regular night club. You can pop in and out of those jobs just like in dancing. The extra money and tips can be similar to what a dancer makes (good bartenders can earn $200+ a night in tips), plus you get a pay check.
For your own mental health, get out of dancing. I've had jobs that I would come home from work every day and just cry because I hated what I was doing so much. The money isn't worth it.
Our economy is pretty strong right now, so if you need extra cash, finding a part time job should be fairly easy.
Good luck to you, and take care of yourself :-* .
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
I agree you have to stop dancing. If it's making you that miserable, it's the last thing you should be doing, whether or not you need the money. There's always another way.
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
Maybe you could try real estate work. It doesn't take long to get licensed as an agent and it offers the same freedom. Maybe you need to move to a cheaper town. Maybe it's time to move up in your day job's company. You're on the right track, though. If you're not feeling it anymore than start thinking about the course of your life differently than before. Tell yourself that anything is possible. Ask yourself where and how (moneywise) you want to spend your life. Ask yourself how you want to spend your time and that will tell you what your dream job is. Good luck and Godspeed!;)
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
Thank you all for your support, it really does mean a lot to me. I know I haven't been around in a long, long time. This was always a place where I enjoyed being.
I was comtemplating doing bartending, but I'm not sure how to go about getting into that because I have no experience and not sure how to train doing that.
The reason I stay dancing is because the money is fast and relatively easy. I'd rather do a quick stint dancing for the money than waitress. But like I said I would like to look into bartending. I don't want to overextend myself by working a part time job that requires too many hours and not enough pay when I have a child and husband and home to take care of and homework to do.
As to the poster who said maybe I should stop getting into debt, I DO live within my means, and I DO know what that means, I sacarificed alot of what I had as a dancer so I wouldn't have to do something I hate. I'm sorry but when all your job does is pay bills and some asshole on the street crashes into your car and causes thousands of dollars of damage that YOU end up paying for, I'm sorry that's unforseen debt that I didn't put myself in.
I'm sorry I took offense to that post.
I really just posted this to get some stuff off my chest and talk to some people who know what it's like. Maybe get some encouragement. Since I have no friends in the business, none of my friends understand the situation with dancing.
Shayden
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
some girls are so strong-willed and are able to block out anything negative about the job. they are truly amazing people. in my short dancing stint, the environment wore me down. i wasn't cut out for the job.
the top-earners in the club were glorious specimens to behold. always looked amazing, were on their game, and only occasionally had melt-downs.
i felt i was probably always only a step from core-melt-down most of the time. the only thing that made it good was champagne (which only served to stack on the fat and depress me more).
the hardest thing to admit is that you don't have the right personality type for it - no matter how much you loved looking hot and prancing about on stage.
i wiiiiish i was one of these tough cookies that could make an absolute killing from it before my ass starts sagging. sadly, the reality is your life and youth are so short. do something that makes you happy.
the jobs that make you sit on the end of the bed sobbing when you wake up each day are the spirit-killers. run, simba, run far away and never return. <<lion king moment, i dunno?!?
having to earn 'regular' money sucks but your sanity is worth it.
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
There are books on bartending on www.amazon.com or www.barnesandnoble.com and I learned at a two week bartending school. It's not hard. The hardest part is learning the recipes by heart. But when you start out you can work from your recipe file. It's three by five cards with the recipes on it. I would recommend applying at a chain hotel. You get your hourly of about $15 as well as tips as well benefits if you're full time. Before my life as a vixen I was a hotel worker and it's a lovely, quiet environment to work in.
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
I used to bartend b/f I started dancing. It is relatively easy. I waitressed, and then gradually learned the drinks, it is hard work though. You are on your feet all night, and deal w/ annoyiong people, but you can make good $$ if you find the right bar, good luck
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
Just a question - why do you hate dancing? Anything you can elaborate on? I only ask because I really love dancing, and I've been in the business for 6 years. Sure I get burned out sometimes, but I feel lucky to have a job that allows me the kind of freedom that this one does. Usually when you hate something there are some good reasons for it. And if you can identify those reasons and try to deal with them in a productive way then you might be able to overcome them. For example, if you only go to work when you absolutely need the money for some emergency, then you will associate dancing with the desperation you feel from that. You could try working before you need the money to feel more empowered. That's only one possibility. It could be something else. But if it is something that you can identify and be proactive about, then you will be less likely to hate it. Trust me, you are not alone. We all struggle with our own issues, and this job seems so exascerbate them. I wish you luck and let us know how it works out.
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
Could it be that your club doesn't have enough clients you like or do you just hate dancing so much you dislike everyone automatically? I can see how it can be tough when you have a husband and kid at home but if you go in with a negative attitude, you'll just make things worse and end up in a bad cycle. You hate your job--->Customers notice and don't tip as well---> you hate it even more. I agree with the others. You need an escape plan. Maybe you can start selling pics or whatever on ebay? While you're stuck dancing, why not change clubs to get a change in atmosphere and pretend to have a great attitude.
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
There isn't a bartending school in your town?? I have a couple of friends who went to bartending school and instintly got their license.
I know exactly what your going through. I haven't been back to work since August. But my cituation may be slightly different from yours, because dance is my life. Besides exotic dancing, I'm also a dance teacher/ dancer. I definitely think that since you really need this money, you should just bite the bullet and do what you got to do.
But to me theres nothing worst then doing some thing that doesn't make you happy inside. You should never have to settle, reguardless how good the money is. If at the end of the day you feel like shit, because you put yourself through that. Then ya know, it's just time to say good bye and walk away from it. But at the same time, theres that urge to make that quick dollar. So then you find yourself going back and forth with it. I say do what you must but if you must do this, then fuck it. It's about making that money and nothing else.
Good luck!!!
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
Shayden, I completely understand how you feel. I danced for 12 years and in that time I loved it, hated it, and everything in between. I loved it for the first year, I got into dancing to get out of debt and I loved the freedom, the guys, the schedule, I thought it was a total blast. After about a year I started burning out, got into grad school, was ready to call it an adventure and move on.
Then I lost everything I owned and almost my life in an apartment fire. I stayed on a friend's couch, could hardly work without crying. The club felt like total chaos and darkness but I HAD to go. One dance was a new towel, another a pillow. A week was a mattress. I had bills on top of that and was slipping farther and farther behind. It's taken YEARS to bounce back from that hell and my life definitely took a different course than planned. I know how it feels to try to live within your means, have shit happen, and then have people making snap judgements about your situation.
Sometimes I think I like the idea of dancing more than the actual job. I'm incredibly thankful I had it as an option but that didn't mean it was easy, at the same time I have great memories that I long for too. I've had fabulous rock star stripper nights and others where I felt like I was the last cockroach after the armageddeon, but most nights were something in between, like a tolerance or acceptance, a job. Some of the changes I've seen over the years have made it so much more difficult, (i.e. 2 way contact at the same price a no contact dance was) but I made it through.
I know you'll find your way through whatever you decide to do but I just wanted to let you know you are definitely not alone.
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
If you really HATE something you quit and move on. Why don't you make your husband go out and start dancing then? Shouldn't he be contributing something to the family? He shouldn't be sending his wife out to do something she absolutely hates at night. I mean, I can feel your disgust through the computer. There's other jobs out there, probably not many that makes that good of money that's legal though. The customers will be able to feel how you feel and you'll just lose them all so you might as well quit because what's somebody going to say to motivate you? There's a cool pair of lighted platforms you'd like or you get to dress up? Stripping is a fantasy in my eyes but most people don't see it as that and see it as a great way to make money and if you have the body for it, which I totally don't, I say go for it.
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Re: I HATE Dancing Now!
Shayden I think you need to take a good hard look at why you hate dancing so much. You've danced for 3 years. There have always been difficult men to contend with in this business, business has always been up and down, and there have always been nice customers and nights where the money isn't that hard to make.
Why do you hate doing dances so much and hate the men. If you have that harsh of an attitude, you may as well quit for good.
If your day job only provides you enough to get by (most jobs don't allow people to amass much in the way of savings) that should be more stressful working full time for a check that isn't enough, than dancing is. I'm sorry to hear about the misfortune with your car, but most people will never earn enough in a paycheck job to absorb that kind of loss.
Something else is wrong. Is your club slow, has it become too competitive, is money harder to make for you now than it was several years ago? Are outside or family pressures making it hard for you to dance? Being in a job that offers little chance for prosperity, dancing sounds like the kind of money supplement you need on a regular basis, so that you can develop at least 5 figures in savings to use as a cushion "when" things come up.
It takes patience to make money dancing or in any business. This is a selling business. No guarantees. Some days sales are good and others not so good. it sounds like you need a chunk of money now, but it will require some patience and time to make it.
If you try to change your attitude about the customers and the club environment, smile and be friendly to the customers and staff, and shrug off the chauvinistic customers, you'll find people will like you more in the club, and more money will come your way.