Get rid of stalker (advice)
Since I know so many dancers face dealing with stalkers, I thought I'd share some of my experiences and some advice that was given to me. I've been stalked twice in my life by 2 different people and I'm not nor have been a dancer. I was just going about my business in life when these situations happened. The first time was when I was in college. I'm a dental hygienist (now) and this happened when I was in dental hygiene school. The stalker was a dental student and is now an orthodontist (doesn't it make you feel really good that this person is putting braces on our children?) I'm not going to get into the whole long story but I had to finally get the cops involved to get him to leave me alone. Then about 3 years later when I moved to another state for personal reasons, this man that lived in my apartment complex started stalking me. I think he was stalking me for an entire year before I realized it because I remember meeting him briefly in the parking lot almost a year before I knew he was stalking me. This one was scaryier than the first stalker. He would wait outside in his car when I got home late at night and then get out to come talk to me. He was sending me letters, showing up at the gas station and "accidently" running into me, somehow got ahold of my cell phone (have no idea how), always "just passing by" when I was going to and from work and what really scared me is that he sent me a card with 2 cats on it. I have 2 cats, how did he know that? The last letter he sent me was as creepy as you can imagine. I was scared. I went to the police, told them what happened, showed them the letters, that he was calling my cell phone, etc. and they told me there was nothing they could do because "he hasn't committed a crime". I was so mad I said, "so you're going to wait until I'm either raped or murdered before you do anything?". They didn't have any comments on that. So to make a long story short, I ended up moving and thank god never heard from him again.
This girl I know has been stalked too and she said people that stalk other people is like an addiction. It's not so much as it's "you" personnally, it's just that you happen to be in the right place at the right time for them to pick you. WHen you disappear, move away, they go to jail, whatever, they forget about you and the next person they see, they then start stalking them. It's just a non-ending cycle. SHe said what cops have told her before is to get someone to stop stalking you is to break the cycle they have on you which usually takes a couple of weeks. Once they've picked their next victim, they forget about you and start stalking someone else. She told me from what she's heard that no amount of jail time, medication, therapy, etc. will stop them from being a stalker, just like someone who's a sex predator, they're repeat affenders.
I guess if any of you ever get to the point where one of your customer's is getting like that and you're starting to fear for your safety or life, it might be best to dance at another club temporarily until he moves on to someone else.
I hope this advice is helpful! :) I know how scared I was getting stalked, I can't even imagine what you dancers must go through, especially if you have multiple ones at the same time. There are some crazy, messed up people out there. Good luck to all of you and take care of yourselves! :)