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A truly disgusting sight...
There's a dancer at work who just joined us a few weeks ago. She is really cute, and a real sweetheart--no trace of the bullshit attitude so many of the better looking dancers often get around this area. She will dance to anything at all with a pretty little smile, even if it's a customer request that she would really prefer not to go with.
Naturally I talk her up like there's no tomorrow, and it works pretty well.
Well, she also has one of those notorious abusive f*cking boyfriends that are so common amongst the dancers here. The other night she asked me to use my phone since he hadn't been heard from, was fresh out of jail, and had her nice (cop magnet type) car--she was petrified he had gotten arrested again.
She wanted me to look out for a return call from him. Though this is something I always refuse to do, I did it for her since she was clearly upset, and one of our best new girls. Sure enough the guy calls back--a bored sounding thuggish guy too cool to be other than minimally polite--though he did at least stay on the line until I called her to the booth.
Then tonight she came in and was crying in the dressing room, and had some of those fucking bruises they come in with--though I've seen a lot worse. So I gave her a nice pep talk--how she could have anyone she wanted, and never should have to putup with shit from anyone, ever again.
It worked, she was up there smiling and putting on one hell of a show.
Then I noticed the fucking thug drug dealer going up to the stage, throwing a bunch of ones at her and making a big show out of spanking her ass after he did it--always a dead giveaway for a guy who likes to dominate women and play the stud.
Then she was sitting with him most of the night, giving him basically free mild grinding table dances. Since he was a blatantly thuggish type, this meant little future succes for her with the race crew type guys, lol--they hate that shit. I did discretely mention this to her and said that when Race week really arrived, she should be more careful--meaning 'don't be stupid now, either', lol.
Well, as the night was nearing the end, I noticed she was massaging the guy's dick through his pants sitting at the table, making only the slightest attempt to keep it discrete. Other people noticed it too.
I'm not naive enough to be shocked or disappointed by 'sweet' girls doing this sort of thing--this is Daytona, after all, lol...and it is a club with a lot of extras going on. And it sure as shit isn't the first time I have seen the hot new dancer wasting her time on a thug, lol!
Nonetheless, I was entirely unable to talk her up in my accustomed style, or really be all that nice to her when she came up to the booth, after that. I cannot hide a lack of respect for other people, it's always that way with me.
No big loss, really--but it sucks that a girl I could really work the crowd up for isn't gonna get that anymore--at least for a while.
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
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Originally Posted by Djoser
...., was fresh out of jail....
Fresh is good. Don't be such a downer. }:D
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
DJ,it always seems like you encounter the strangest ones....
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
Yeah, that's the downside to working in a crazy club like mine--you really gotta harden your heart to this shit. I don't mind it except I hate to become cynical.
The thing that bothers me about it more than anything is my inability to talk the girl up now--this is a true test of professionalism, lol...
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
it is always a disapointment to see good people do things out of character. Or what you thought was their character.
She is a new dancer right?She prob doesn't have a clue to what she is doing because I am guessing she is not aware of rules, etc. If she does know the rules then maybe she is doing it out of desperation or something else?
But anyway.. You are a good Dj and seem to care about your girls. Talk to her about it maybe?
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
I work at an extra's club, I wont deny that.
It is tough seeing good girls turn bad. Hell I am less perfect then I use to be. But cleaner then most in my club.
When someone does that and you see it you have to think of it in another way. Like maybe it was a act of desperation instead of her trying to scam money out of a gangsta for doing extras.
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
Thanks for the input, and you would be right if this were the case--but this girl has danced a while, and she likes this guy, you can tell. She's going right out of the frying pan, right into the fucking fire, lol.
If she winds up with this asshole for long, he'll be giving her bruises and making her cry too--he's got it written all over him. With any luck he'll fuck her a few times and dump her, and maybe she'll then figure it out.
I don't think talking to her will help, sadly--the 'white knight' routine doesn't go over well around here.
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
It's a total turn-off to see a young hot chick with a great booty shake, rubbin' all over the thug types. I wouldn't bother trying to say anything more than, "where's tipout?" to her, DJoser.
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
Some people just have to learn shit the hard way. When she complains again, just say "When you play with fire, you are going to get burned. Dont' want to get burned? Don't play with the fire."
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
There's not a lot you can say... but perhaps it wouldn't be a bad idea to sic some of the other cool dancers who have their shit a bit more together on her, take her under their wing, and give her some support of the ladyfriend variety... that shit's indispensible in a rough situation, which it sounds like she is in.
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
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Originally Posted by red red red
There's not a lot you can say... but perhaps it wouldn't be a bad idea to sic some of the other cool dancers who have their shit a bit more together on her, take her under their wing, and give her some support of the ladyfriend variety... that shit's indispensible in a rough situation, which it sounds like she is in.
I doubt it'll work either, lol--but that's probably the best thing to do, thanks. The only time I might be inclined to say anything is if she comes up and complains to me about not making much money--but she's not a complainer.
Maybe she'll get the hint that she is being an idiot by my suddenly not talking her up (as I did after I saw that). There's a big difference between my talking someone up--or not, lol...
Haha, Cassy--you know who it is, don't ya...
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
You have to explain to her why you are ignoring her. Otherwise she will make some crazy shit up in her head and hate you for it.
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
1. some people have to hit the bottom before they can truely realize how messed up things are, regardless of how "cute and outgoing" she is.. she has issues, that she needs to address.
Granted, she is costing herself money, which in turn is costing you money but let her be her... she willc ome around.. hopefully
You need to look out for yourself... miseary is like herpes, it spreds and you can't get rid of it. It's like a diesase.. Now, I'm as outgoing of a person you will ever meet, and I don't mind helping someone or listening to their problems, but if they keep having the same moods, same problems, you eventually have to learn to stay away from them, because you don't want her problems to be your problems as well.
What if she gets the courage to leave him, tells him at home that it's over, and while arguing she mentions that you 'coached' her into leaving (which we know isn't the case, you were just pointing out the ovbious, that she is attractive, a cool person and can have her pick when it comes to guys) and he comes up there with a hardon for you?
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
To quote my dancer pal D, who said this after I told her I was trying to help a coke whore stripper get out of a jam: "The f*ck with her!" She was right.
She's cute? Cute comes in abundance in America. Her problems are not yours.
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
Djoser, I feel your pain. I remember when I first started Sportswriter on TUSCL, I got a lot of e-mail from professional guys 25-49. The most common question was about cute young dancers who seemed really nice. They wanted to know why these dancers accepted abuse (and even seemed to seek it out) when they could have anyone? I had a bouncer write almost exactly what you wrote here.
I had a standard reply: "Hey, it happens. Better you learn it on the practice fields than in a real game." :-\
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
Geez, they get away with a lot in Daytona! No way you can do that on the floor in a Manhattan club... maybe the CR, that's why I avoid it. I hate that shit too. I wrote a story about it -
http://miminewyork.blogspot.com/2005/11/slap_16.html
Kinda sad huh? Hard to get out of if you're in that mindset though, and have been most of your life.
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
OK, I have got to ask this again. Djoser why are you wasting your talents & good nature in a club like that one ? Why not get a job in a better club or town ?
Isn't Jacksonville and Orlando like an hour from Daytona ? I know there are some more upscale clubs in both cities where this type ( and the other things you have mentioned in various threads) are alot less common.
I hope you will surround yourself with a better class of people soon. Your posts make me worry about your safety and your emotional well being. It isn't good to be surrounded by so many negative things all the time.
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
I feel like i'm missing something here. Can you tell me about the race/ethnicity of the people involved? I feel like code words are being employed here....
Djoser, from your other posts, it sounds like rubbing a guys dick through his pants is rather tame for your club. Why was it, in this case, particularly "disgusting"?
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
Oooo, you liiiikkeeeddd her. :) Seriously, though... It's easy to be "cute" and "sweet"... But she's got a whole bunch of issues with herself to let guys treat her like that... and you probably wouldnt' want to get involved anyways.
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
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Originally Posted by Bella21
Oooo, you liiiikkeeeddd her. :) Seriously, though... It's easy to be "cute" and "sweet"... But she's got a whole bunch of issues with herself to let guys treat her like that... and you probably wouldnt' want to get involved anyways.
hahahaha I agree ;) . For the most part women are masochistic and crazy anyway. They don't know what they want: they say they want one thing but yet you see them with guys that are the complete opposite of what they said they wanted. Go figure. For some reason sometimes, the good girls fall for the bad guys. And the other cliche: the good guys *sometimes* never win in.
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
I feel kinda bad for the girl. I'm sure she has low self-esteem and will probably go from one bad relationship to the next, not even realizing her mistakes. Now you've seen the ugly side of a girl who you previously had high hopes for. I don't blame you for being disappointed because it's pretty sad really. There's no use trying to talk sense into her or "rescue" her, but treat her with respect and compassion anyway and try not to judge too harshly.
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
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Originally Posted by jessica_rabbit
I feel kinda bad for the girl. I'm sure she has low self-esteem and will probably go from one bad relationship to the next, not even realizing her mistakes. Now you've seen the ugly side of a girl who you previously had high hopes for. I don't blame you for being disappointed because it's pretty sad really. There's no use trying to talk sense into her or "rescue" her, but treat her with respect and compassion anyway and try not to judge too harshly.
This comes closest to my gut feeling on the subject...
I didn't exactly have high hopes for the girl, other than her continuing to be the kind of woman that makes my job fulfilling. There is nothing I love more than talking up a sexy woman who merits the creative praise and encouragement. A woman who gropes a thug's dick right out on the floor in basically plain sight of everyone in the club sure as shit doesn't...
My frustration at this loss was the reason I started this thread, the last of a dozen or so posts last night, lol.
Lots of questions, and some incorrect assumptions, here--but that's OK, I can deal with that.
First of all, the racial question doesn't really matter. As I said to Kwad (the assistant manager who was recently shot along with my DJ friend), "This place could turn you into a racist against everyone."
There are thugs of every race in Daytona, hordes of them. Then there are the white trash lowlifes, the cocky surfer studmuffins, the fat, repulsive old losers trying to relive their lost youth--I could go on and on. But let's not.
Am I like the bouncer Sporty describes? I doubt it. If it's the same guy who was so anguished at witnessing the nightly defilement of tender, nubile young lasses that he couldn't have sex with his girlfriend--give me a fucking break...
That guy would be cutting off his own testicles with a spoon after a week in my club, lol.
No offense, Sporty, your concern for my life (as expressed in another thread) makes me like you in spite of our previous differences.
Did I like her? Hell, yes I did, but no more than I like at least 6-8 of our cuter dancers. If I was going to have a 'crush' on anyone, it'd be Cassy, or Jenna, or Meadow (now that one is tempting, lol)--and a couple years before I became a DJ it might have been a problem, even having known her such a short time. But getting romantic feelings for a dancer you work with, especially that quickly and easily, is dangerous.
Do I need to get out of Daytona, and into a classier club--hell yes, lol...
But not until after I reap the rewards, in the next month, of all my labor for the past nine. And not until my stepdad finishes dealing with his loss of my mom, or at least the worst part of it.
To sum it all up, as I said in my original post:
"No big loss, really--but it sucks that a girl I could really work the crowd up for isn't gonna get that anymore--at least for a while."
Tonight at work it never even crossed my mind, other than briefly talking about it to Cassy. Thanks partly to my being able to vent a bit here. Now if she had been there groping him again, I might have been somewhat disgusted again, lol--but you learn to get over this shit quickly in these kind of clubs.
Or you don't last long.
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
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Originally Posted by Djoser
Am I like the bouncer Sporty describes? I doubt it. If it's the same guy who was so anguished at witnessing the nightly defilement of tender, nubile young lasses that he couldn't fuck his girlfriend--give me a fucking break...
No no, I just meant that many guys - both customers and staff - see the same kind of problem. I think you handled it remarkably well.
I'll go out of my way to encourage a nice dancer who's trying hard in life. I have sometimes been surprised and saddened by unexpected behaviors, but it makes you learn to love character all the more.
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That's cool.
It appears that I have been in Daytona a while too long--sorry about the blatant and redundant F word, people.
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Re: A truly disgusting sight...
Well as I kind of read into this she came to work with bruises and was crying one day . Then the thug guy comes in and starts throwing money around and showing his ownership over his girl .( I dont mean to sound cold about the ownership line its just how these abusive guys are ) . Do you think she might not of had a choice for the rub-down considering she may get the shit knocked out of here later if she did not perform ?