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Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
So finally I did it. I went in for my first day EVER of dancing. As if the audition wasn't bad enough.. Anway, last night was my first night ever. I was pretty confident going in. I got all dolled up, was excited/nervous. My first time dancing in any club - ever. It's a bikini bar in new jersey. WE give lap dances and the same as stripping, but you're covering in a thong and bra....
Anyway, I thought I did okay for superbowl sunday for my first day... almost 100$...
But when I went to the manager to ask him when I was working next... he says "call me tomorrow and I'll see how many girls we have for tomorrow night"
So I called him today. He says, "hmm, tonight is no good.... Call me on Saturday and I'll see if I need an extra girl on Sunday."
I said okay and hung up. THAT'S A WEEK FROM NOW. Working one day a week isnt goign to get me anywhere!!! Why was he doing this! I thought I danced pretty good! (Maybe it was because I told him I was new, i shouldnt have told him that i didnt have experience) But I thought i did fine!
so I called back an hour later and asked him why i'd only be working about 1 day a week... and he said because i needed to lose a little weight. I'm 5'4'' , with D boobs and I'm about 133 lbs. I think I look good. I HAVE A really pretty face!!!!!! Long pretty hair and I'm really tan.
Is that honestly the only reason?!?! I know i could lose a few lbs... but i dont think it's bad enough where i cant even work... i've asked lots of my friends and they agree. I don't know if it's because he's just an asshole, or if it's because I'm new or what. BUT SOME OF THE GIRLS THERE ARE heavier than me.
What's his deal?????
I don't know what to do now... im unemployed... :( and now my self confidence is shot. :(
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
At 5'4"I'm guessing that your maximum earning potential is at about 110 pounds. I'm not saying that you can't make a living at your current weight. If you carry it all in your butt, you are bound to be the most popular girl in the club.
My best suggestion is that you try out at another club. Just dancing is great exercise, and you'll probably drop 15 pounds in your first 6 months if you don't change anything else about your diet.
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
^^^ Yep yep, you're just going to have to go somewhere else. This manager obviously doesn't feel he needs to give you a second chance and you think you did well so screw that club and go elsewhere, you can always come back when you "have more experience."
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
at 115 i look emanciated..... i must have big bones, or maybe my scale is off.... i wear a size 6 easily...
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
it must just be the style of the club.
go where you fit in...
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoNJ
at 115 i look emanciated..... i must have big bones, or maybe my scale is off.... i wear a size 6 easily...
Clubs prefer that their dancers be thinner than the average woman. How do you carry your weight? How flat/toned is your stomach? How much do your thighs and arms jiggle?
My old roommate was 5'4" and 135 lbs. Her body was a perfect balance between muscular and feminine. What little fat she had was in her butt. She looked awesome. She was a size 8. I'm 5'4" as well. At 110 lbs, I look like a cow. So I keep my weight at 100 lbs. I wear a size 0, and even then I have to alter my clothes.
Size doesn't matter. Presentation does. Find a new club. Tone up. (Dancing *will* tone.) Then go back.
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
i think i look BEST at 123.... so im about 10 lbs. overweight... but i dont know if that is reason enough for the club to act shady.... maybe they just dont like me... or maybe im just in denial.. and I AM FAT? i dunno, i look good in my stipper clothes and the other girls there arent even that great. they might be skinny but their asses are flabby and cellulite, wehreas my ass is fine, but im a little heavier everywhere else...
shoudl i even try another club? or just tone up? im so depressed right now, i dont know how im gonna pay my rent.
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
Some clubs are super picky. Find yourself a club that isn't...
Some clubs cater more to guys who actually don't want perfect 10's, since some guys are intimidated by them. That would work for you until you lose the ten pounds and are at your optimal weight.
Don't take it so hard. This is one thing I hate about the business--it focuses all value on external appearance. While some concern for appearance is a good thing, it can make for very unhappy people to be constantly judged only for how good they look, and nothing else.
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
If I were you I would try a new club. And not to offend anyone (I'm a day girl myself) but maybe see if you could work days. I think the pressure to be a living skeleton is smaller on dayshift. I'm also 5'4, a size 5 or sometimes 3 with 34DD's yet sometimes I feel like a cow in comparison to other girls.
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
People may hate me for this, but here goes... Sounds like you got treated by this manager just like lots of custies are going to treat you on a nightly basis. If you really want to work at this particular club, listen to what this manager said and lose some weight. Think of it like an actress transforming her body for a particular role. After you've been in this business for a while, you'll get thicker skin and things like this will not affect you in an emotional way. Eventually, you'll understand that your ability to fit into a "fantasy" stereotype look (body, hair, makeup, etc.) will have a direct impact on your earnings. This guy, even though he was harsh, could be doing you a service by telling you to drop a few pounds.
I agree with the other girls: start dancing in another club. The workout alone will be awesome, but you will also gain valuable experience and thicker skin.
I am usually a really sweet girl, but I've also found that this is just how the world (and this industry) works. The sooner you learn the way the world works, the faster you'll be able to work it to your advantage.
P.S. I was just like you when I started dancing. Trust me: if you stick out, you'll be a stronger and more beautiful person than you ever imagined. You'll probably be a lot richer, too ;)
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
It's funny that noone mentioned this, but I don't think that it really has anything to do with the weight. Espeicially if there are bigger girls already working there. I think that you were hired to fill an Super Bowl void in the club. They probably already have enough girls for regular shifts and just wanted a few more for the big day. Saying your fat is probably a way to get rid of excess girls.
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
oh no..... u could be right..... what an asshole. maybe he just wanted me for superbowl. but he had a lot of girls there that night.. im really pretty though, i won a bikini contest during spring break in cancun last year... 2 actually... i gained 12 lbs. i feel like shit. im only 22, so hopefully i can lose it fast. i dont care if i have to starve. iw ant to pay my rent. now im even embarressed for going up there as fat as i was......... hope everyone forgets who i was. i wish i never went. i should have waited till i lost more weight... but everyone was yelling at me for not having a job and i needed to pay rent. i want to strip, in fact, ive always wanted to. i need to get on the ball and stop being lazy. im embarressed for being on stage fat like that...
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
Stop beating yourself up! This will do you no good whatsoever...
One of my favorite dancers of all time, Sierra, came into work a short while after having had a baby. She hates dancing anymore, but has to support the little one, so here she is.
I like skinny women, but she has a natural sensuous aura, is a great dancer, and carries herself really well. I immediately started talking her up because she deserved it. She started making good money even being a clean dancer in a serious extras club, because she never worried about a few extra pounds.
Now she is looking better and better every day, literally. If she keeps it up I might be in trouble--I do like to maintain a professional distance, lol.
Don't let it get to you--have confidence in your natural sexuality, and you'll have a better attitude and make more money than a skinny little barbie doll with an attitude. Guys like natural women too, just go find youself a club that understands this and you'll be fine.
Then you can go back to the first club all toned up and kick all their asses, if you want.
But you might just want to stay somewhere where you'll be appreciated for who you are, inside and out, and not just how well you conform to the manager's ideals of external appearance.
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
Also, never judge a club's standards by the worst looking girls because they were probably skinny when they were hired. Now management likes or relies on them. Keep trying other clubs until you find the management that appreciates you.
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
I dont know what his problem is!! I am 5'4 I weigh 125 and i think i am skinny as hell. I think you should find another club too!! When he told you that you needed to lose weigh you ought to have told him that different men like different girls. I think he was just hiring the girls that HE likes. Go to another club you will do great!
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
thanks girl.... i think im a little overweight, maybe 10 lbs. at Most... but nothing where i couldnt work there in the mean time while i lose weight....
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
Alas, welcome to the trials and tribulations of dancing! If it's what you want to do and think you can handle it, then go for it. Toughen up your skin and go dance somewhere where the pressure to be stick thin isn't as big. You'll be guaranteed to see positive results in your body once you start dancing, easily. Then once you're all toned up, move up to a classier club :)
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
I just started at a new club on Super Bowl Sunday also. I don;t think that you are fat, I am 140 and 5'6 w/ D boobs, I probably have a similar body type to you. just go to another club. you will tone up w/ dancing. I don't know why he let you work if he didn;t want you it doesn't add up.
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
Please don't take it on board too much !! If you feel that you need to lose weight then do it but don't let what one person says get you down ! I think you should try out some other clubs and see what sort of response you get and then make a decision from there... No matter what you look like theres always the chance that someone won't like how you look so the best advice I can offer is the same as above, love who you are... Best of luck
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
I agree you should definately check somewhere else girly. Cheer up & don't be so hard on yourself. I know how you feel I'm hard on myself also but I feel if I'm hard on myself enough I should be my only judge. Forget what that manager said to you. Be your own judge and lose weight because you want to and not because of what he said to you. Not all clubs have the same preferences. You must get thicker skin if you're going to be in this business you will hear a lot of comments like that but you can't let it tear you down. Me, I'm shorter than you and weigh more and some guys love my figure. So love yourself, do what you feel is right for you and try again!! Smile;D
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
Hello,
I wanted to give you a few tips to help get those few pounds off..(I PROMISE RESULTS IF YOU ARE CONSISTANT!!!)
1. walk, 45 minutes a day. You can get up in the morning knock it out. Itsa great
way to start your day.
2. Drink lots of water, the rule of thumb is 1oz per pound of your wieght daily. so you said you weigh 133, which is 133 oz of water, about 8 tall glasses of water a day. You will find that you are holding on to a lot of water.
3. 5-6 small meals through out the day. You need a protein and a carb EVERY MEAL except your dinner.
4. hit the gym, if you can, if not use your own body weight 3 days a week. (ie, push-ups, lunges, crunches, squats, calf raises, arm circles, jumping jacks, tricep dips off of the coffee table. pm me if you want the entire list. HONESTLY a majority of these I can do while I get ready in the morning.)
I hope this helps,
Phaty
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Re: Depressed & Confused - First day dancing EVER
110!?? mmm more like 120-125. That's the actual slim healthy weight.