Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
Okay, this may sound silly. My hubby and I are regulars at a SC and everyone there is usually so nice to us. They seem to go out of their way to make us feel special. The problem is that there is one dancer who has recently decided that we (me, really - hubby doesn't usually get dances) are her property. >:( I've heard her tell other dancers to stay away from me and when we walk in, she generally makes a beeline straight to us. Once she sees us, she won't leave. Even after we've told her that she should go make some money elsewhere because we aren't spending another 20. Now, I really do like this woman, but I like a bit of variety as well - and her attitude chases all the other dancers away. Also, she gets more and more grabby every time. When she's drunk, she's impossible. One nite when she was supposed to be dancing for me, she let some old guy start talking to her, then lifted my skirt so he could look up it! Last time we were there, she wouldn't keep her hands out of my crotch and she can be a bit too rough. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but this is my favorite club and I'm starting to avoid the place because of her. HELP!!!
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
in this case, be direct....she can handle the rejection. We deal with it constantly and she doesn't seem to be getting the hint.
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
Actually, have tried the direct approach and she pouts, but doesn't leave. I could talk to the Manager, but I really don't want to get her in trouble.
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
I wouldn't talk to the manager, because if you do then it will get out and drama will occur. Here is a trick I use to get the Vice Grip Dancers off of me. Tell them you don't have any more money for them (like you did), then start aggressively tipping the other dancers. This will make her feel unwanted and definitely leave you alone, once she sees the money going to other dancers. This has worked for me plenty of times. You have to be firm and not feed her any $20's or she will conitnue to think there is more for her.
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
Thanks Guy - that's a very good idea. It'll be painful though. Our kids go to school together and stuff and we visit in the grocery store - she's my neighbor...lol.
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
Awww, don't be passive aggressive. like the wanker poster above you. She knows what's up and is anchoring to you because she is greedy and lazy. Be direct, I mean REALLY be direct, you can do it without being an asshole. She is taking advantage of the fact that you want to be diplomatic to milk any money you may spend out of you........I know how these cats operate, just tell her you are no longer interested in her company and her dances and that you want to try out other girls, and ask TELL her to move on........
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
yeah, what Katrine says....she is staying because you let her because you feel bad. She will not care if you cut her off except that her lazy ass will have to find soneone new to guilt-trip into giving her money.
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily
yeah, what Katrine says....she is staying because you let her because you feel bad. She will not care if you cut her off except that her lazy ass will have to find soneone new to guilt-trip into giving her money.
I agree... she's staying with you because you've given her money before, and still do. It's easier to get money from someone you've gotten money from before than to get money from someone you've never talked to before. You're easy money for her. Its easier for her to get money from you than to go try to find someone else to spend money on her. Give her the boot. You should spend your money however you want- you're in there to have a good time and enjoy yourself, so if you're not enjoying yourself with her anymore, then let her know. Just say that you want to "play the field" for a while and hang out with some of the other girls to switch it up a bit.
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
Thanks ladies - I'm not very good with direct. I'm such a wimp, but I guess the alternative is to stop going there at all. Maybe I'll just let hubby deal with her. He's meaner than me. lol
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
be like you would with your kids....TOUGH LOVE. :D
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
Which leads me back to my earlier reply Emily - that's daddy's job. Lol...no, seriously, I appreciate the advice - just gotta grow some balls....
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
Maybe you could just try to visit the club when she's not there?
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katrine
Awww, don't be passive aggressive. like the wanker poster above you. .......
Wow love you to. I guess you missed the part where I told her to tell her the dancer there is no more money. But your right, there is only one way to skin a cat.
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
Just tell the chick no and don't give her any more money. Sooner or later she'll get the hint, and she'll deserve every penny she wastes on waiting for you to tip.
That or propose marriage, i've found that that scares dancers off lickety split... I wonder why?
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
Lol Madcap - I think she might say yes to a proposal - she's certainly made enough of them...
Bunny - she can't be avoided - she's there every nite. I think I've only been in the club once that she wasn't there and it was pretty early (not my usual time to party)
Now I know why the other dancers have told me that it's bad to make "friends" in the club. See, the real issue with hurting her feelings is that she is a friend outside of the club. We see each other regularly in the real world (we're both PTA moms at the same school, we shop at the same stores, and we run into each other at least once a week.) That should make it easier - she's a friend, so I should be able to just tell her the truth.
It's been a good lesson for me. I want to start dancing in about 6 months, so hopefully this is one mistake I won't make on the floor.
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
Quote:
Originally Posted by SassyMom
It's been a good lesson for me. I want to start dancing in about 6 months, so hopefully this is one mistake I won't make on the floor.
in her defense, it's not really a mistake if she's making money off it.
But it is a mistake to be a lazy dancer, but unfortuantely there are a bunch. Me, I'd rather get off my ass and look for greener pastures, but many, many girls don't want to be bothered with that.
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
Excellent point Emily - another lesson for me. She does get $ from me every time, so it's smart to keep hitting me up.
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
I would threaten to tell the manager if she does not leave you alone. And if she still does not go away actually go to the manager. You will probably be doing some of the other dancers a favor my getting Ms. Overly Possesive of their backs when it comes to you as customers. No they will not fire her just like government workers strippers rarely if never get fired. Getting dances from someone who is drunk and out of control must be scarry.
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
Problem solved - hubby told her to back off - she's mad at him, but not me! Hubby doesn't care if she's mad, so it works out well. Went in Friday nite and she stayed on the other side of the room. Tipped her on stage and she said, hubby is mean, but ur still sweet...
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
Sounds like a bad case of reverse psycology.......first you show the stripper that it's hard to get you then she'll wonder why? the rest of her life.
Re: Help: Dancer thinks she OWNS me
Sassy, didn't you say this woman is your neighbor and your kids know one another? Haven't you said you want to dance soon? If this chick is hanging on you like this its most likely because she actually thinks you are friends. If she showed your crotch to another guy well isn't that what you are proposing doing anyway. I'm sure you have discussed your desire to dance with her. Did you find this club on your own or did you go there because of her? Remember you initiated this money relationship most likely because you are attracted to her and know, quite rightly, that this is how she makes money. But now it seems that you see that her club personality is not what you really like, and you have learned from her about the business, and still you wonder why she expects something when you come in the club? Lets face it you are no better than most of the PL's that we hear about on this site all the time, but maybe worse because now you come on a site like this and dis her and how she does her job. If your her freind then handle this as one outside the club environment and be honest about it you just want to feel up some other chicks.