For my first post ever outside of Body Business....... I will also agree with Lena. I'd stay away from the guy.......Quote:
Originally Posted by greenidlady1
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For my first post ever outside of Body Business....... I will also agree with Lena. I'd stay away from the guy.......Quote:
Originally Posted by greenidlady1
I agree with Lena.... I know what a girlfriend experiance is because my friend does this to sustain her life. I read the whole Sugarbaby 101 book too. In my friend situation her *sugardaddy* is now paying for a doctor and a cocktail of medications so she won't slit her wrists. I just wish she'd come live with me and let me help her drop the baggage.
GFE is a term that's used by some of the guys here to mean any interaction with a dancer that is meant to simulate a relationship with a girlfriend. It doesn't necessarily have to involve sex to be called a GFE. It's most often used to refer to meetings outside the club (OTC), but it can be used more loosely to describe a certain degree of personal attention given to a customer inside the club. To wit, some guys come in and just want to get lapped so "shut up and shake it baby," while others want more of a GFE by being chatted up and cooed over.
Specifically addressing the GFE issue outside the club, I will say that, in theory, it is a fantasy in which you pretend to be interested in him and react to him like a girlfriend or mistress would. In theory, boundaries are drawn and both parties know it's not really going anywhere beyond that, and like I said, sex is not necessarily part of the deal. For example, you make dinner dates or shopping dates or meet over coffee. Always in public places, for safety's sake. He pays, not just for the meal and the clothes, that's a given, but he also should be paying a rate for your time. Not a cheap rate either. Think about what you'd make in the club for the same amount of time and increase it because there's extra value in obtaining your company OTC. (I know the guys reading this will think I'm being egotistical, but I'm thinking of what your time's worth purely in terms of relative value in a business sense.)
In actual practice, a number of things can go wrong. First and foremost, there's the safety issue. T'aint no bouncers to protect you OTC. How much do you really trust any customer? You don't know jack about any of them. You can try to be safe by staying in public and letting friends know details, but you're taking a risk. Second, there's the Law of Increasing Expectations. (By law, of course, I mean a principle of nature that is almost certain to come true.) That law states that the more a customer spends on you, both in time and money, especially OTC, the more he will expect of you. He's a guy with urges. Even though the deal starts out as a business arrangement, he's hoping that you'll eventually come to like him enough to want to spend time with him without being paid and ultimately, to sleep with him. There's also the psychological delicacy of the situation. Is he really stable enough to understand where the boundaries are, or will he go all lovelorn on you or even stalkeresque? Is he married with a jealous wife who's going to rip your head off?
I don't recommend it; it's frought with pitfalls. Odds are that no GFE arrangement is going to last very long. If you do attempt it, lay the ground rules down in no uncertain terms first, set your price high, play ultra-safe and make it strictly a business deal. I wouldn't ever bait a guy into thinking it's going to get real OTC just to string him along for money. He should know up front you're only playing a role. When you're honest about it up front, you can drop out of GFE mode and remind him of the rules if he tries to cross a line. And if he persists, you can call off the business deal. Nevertheless, remember there are real human emotions involved in this situation. All the precautions in the world aren't going to guarantee it will stay strictly in the realm of business deal and fantasy. It would be a rare guy who's psychologically vibrant enough to engage in this activity for long without it going awry. (And in fairness to him, look at you. Who could blame him for wanting it to go further?)
At least, that's my world view on it.
-Ev
The term GFE, as noted by others, is very much a product of the online prostitution/hobby scene where it was initially used for escort reviews and soon by escorts advertising their services. In that realm it has produced mainly confusion because multiple definitions were soon invented and diversified so that it is hard to tell even roughly what a given person means by GFE in the escort context unless he/she spells it out in further detail.
I am sort of sorry to see it migrating into the dancer/SC world, since it seems unlikely to be used in any clear way there either.
-Ww
yes GFE is an escort term, for guys that want you to kiss them and be touched like they were your boyfriend. check out the erotic review website [http://www.theeroticreview.com ], thats all they talk about that and PSE [porn star experience, which is swallowing and such things]. your friend should have payed for your night off, an escort would have charged him hourly for that dinner.
I see that on TER they offer higher, not lower, ratings if the escort plays unsafe--BBBJ, for instance. I guess it's not that surprising in a world where people smoke and drive drunk, but it'd make me wary of hiring an escort who had a rating higher than 7 in the "service" ranking.Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkcandyx
Not that they would care about my opinion, since I'm highly unlikely to be hiring an escort!
Also, re the concept of GFE, I just love it that having sex with them isn't enough for some clients! You have to remember their names too! ;)
"what would be in it for me" is THE question. Do you REALLY enjoy his company enough to hang out without getting paid? In the time it took to have a nice dinner, you could have made enough money to pay for it yourself and have hung out with your most favorite people instead.Quote:
Originally Posted by greenidlady1
It sounds to me like he just wants to be "special." I'm sure he is--but he doesn't have to be special to YOU, even if you're special to him. You're not a cold person if you don't care enough about this one particular person to accommodate their wishes. And it's more honest to just say no, too.
I may be projecting because in the past I've had the same problem with setting boundaries, and in my experience the sooner they're set, the nicer things stay. Otherwise a formerly nice client can really turn into a waste of time at best, or a real deliberate mind-fucker.
I ringingly endorse what Lena said.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lena
As an ex-escort, despite the fact that I met all silly hobbyist definitions of "GFE", I can attest to the fact that guys who said in initial correspondence that they were "looking for a GFE" or asked me "Are you a GFE" turned out to be emotionally stunted losers. That's why, after about 2 months of independent escorting, I automatically shitcanned any e-mail containing "GFE". Too much hassle, not worth the money.