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I think I'm about to be single...
It's been inevitable that it will happen because I've been having doubts about my relationship with my bf for a long while but it's still so hard! Even though logically I know that this is not the right relationship for me it's so tough to break up with someone that is sweet as can be and would do anything for me that he could. I've never had to do this before. This is the longest relationship I've had. I've been with him in a bf/gf relationship for almost 3 years now and known him even longer as a friend. I sort of came to an acceptance tonight that it's going to be over soon, but I still can't believe it's happening. I've dated so many assholes I feel so guilty letting go of such a sweet guy but there is so much more to a relationship. I feel so depressed lately and I know this is why. It's just been eating me up inside. I know I should get out and be busy and social and that is the best thing but I just don't feel like trying. I had a talk with him this evening and expressed my feelings more than I've been able to before and I think it's all coming to an end. I wish I could just keep him as a friend but I don't know if that can work, at least not now. I just feel so awful for making him hurt. And on the selfish note I feel really empty and lonely. I totally hate this feeling.
:-\
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
Take it from someone that divorced a sweetheart,you can still be friends.It is entirely possible.You two may have some prevailing issues right now and need a break.I think it was meant to be,but not right now.Be patient and it will work itself out.Too bad you aren't in NOLA right now.I would take your *ss out and make you social,LOL.
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
hahaha! my good friend from NOLA is about to call me right as I read that.
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
Well,what can I say???We care!!! :)
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
You have got to come down here sometime soon,girlfriend.
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
bring your thawng princess!
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
ill bring a cartful
haha
just wait til im homeless with a thawng cart and tinfoil hats
TINFOIL THAWNGZ!
so they cant readmy brainwaves OR anus vibrations
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
You talk like it is inevitable like an earthquake. Yet you are the one initiating the breakup for reasons you don't state or maybe vague reasons you don't understand. You have no idea how hard it is to find someone who cares about you. I guess I don't understand why you are shooting yourself in the foot. But it is your life and your story to tell.
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
FB, listen to OTB. It is possible to keep former lovers in your life as invaluable & supportive friends. Also, there are worse fates than being single--consider focusing your energies on yourself for a bit. The dating thing will work itself out. Trust us on this. Good luck.
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
I was in your position once. Felt guilty & everything, but it wasn't fair for me to be in a relationship I wasn't happy in. And being that he was a good person too, it sure as hell wasn't fair for him either.... he deserved to be with someone who'd love him. When I first met him, I wasn't attracted to him at all...& he's not ugly. He's quite handsome & sweet with a BIG c*ck & nice body. I don't know, the chemistry just wasn't there. Then got to know him, but just liked him as a person and thought he'd be a good husband(which he would). He moved to FL, he's a good catch. ;) Not sure what part of FL though.
Just let him go, be friends if you want(but IMO I don't think being his friend would be good for him since you say he loves you alot). Your guilty feeling wont be there forever. He'll move on and eventually find happiness, so don't feel bad. And in the end you'll find someone too, don't be so hard on yourself. Good luck. :)
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
Either you are lying and he is not a good catch or... I am having a lot of trouble feeling sympathy for such a stupid move.
If you asked him to refer to you as Bitch and throw you around the living room twice a week would you feel better?
Are you simply unable to accept being in a good relationship and have to go searching for a bad one?
I am not asking this to be mean - I am asking this because you need to take a good long hard look inside yourself.
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
Um, thanks for all the fucking support. Read through some of my other goddamned posts if you want more details. Why in the hell would I lie on here?
He is nice. he is honest. He is a very caring person.
HOWEVER....
He can't pay his bills on time.
He's had his lights cut off twice in the past two months.
His apartment is so nasty it smells and it looks like a family of rats live there.
he drops the ball on projects all the time.
His career is going nowhere.
I don't feel sexually attracted to him.
We have different goals.
He can be very irresponsible.
He's not 22. He's 32. He should have his shit together.
He is about to be demoted at work.
I'm realizing that just because a person is nice doesn't mean they are compatible with me for a relationship. I could never buy a house with this guy. I could not rely on him for a lot of things. I don't want to be his MOM. I don't want to be a mother to his son. I don't want kids as a matter of fact. I want a man who is motivated to succeed and takes care of himself. I don't want a man who is thoroughly obsessed with comic books and lives in a dream world. I can't change the way I feel. I am not feeling the sexual attraction and haven't for a while. I can't fake that. I can't change him.
But I do care about him. He is a very decent caring person. He just can't get his shit togehter. So there are some more details. I guess I'm just a fuckign idiot at the age of 33 to break up with a 32 year old guy who has his lights cut off all the time, was driving for over a year with no insurance on his car, has a son who writes "FUK" on the chalkboard at the age of 7, and doesn't pursue his goals and his career.
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
Damn,did you meet this guy down here???LOL.He sounds like the typical "wildlife" we have here,hence why I will never date a Louisiana native.
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
youre mean to him!
haha
he sounds like he has his priorities straight
careers and goals are to distract you from the futility of existence
lighten up!
and to put it in perspective
all yo boyfriends are just using you to get to me
ewie!
kep them away!
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
I met him while I lived in New Orleans but he lived in Tampa at the time.
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
Given what you said about him being late on utility payments and such,I'm sure he has shot credit.There's no way he's ever going to be able to get a mortgage loan or anything of the like.
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
Sounds like he needs to wear a thawng for a while, straighten him right on up.. :D
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crow
Sounds like he needs to wear a thawng for a while, straighten him right on up.. :D
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Crow,you ROCK!!!!!!!
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
Quote:
Either you are lying and he is not a good catch or... I am having a lot of trouble feeling sympathy for such a stupid move.
If you asked him to refer to you as Bitch and throw you around the living room twice a week would you feel better?
Are you simply unable to accept being in a good relationship and have to go searching for a bad one?
I am not asking this to be mean - I am asking this because you need to take a good long hard look inside yourself.
That's ignorant. Just because a guy is 'sweet', doesn't mean anyone who doesn't feel a spark with him has issues!
He sounds like a deadbeat to me, anyways. I was in a similar situation last year, and I haven't regretted breaking up with him for a second.
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
Yeah, his credit is beyond shot. He just doesn't open his mail let alone pay bills. He couldn't get a mortage. He got refused for one over a year ago and was going to try and patch things up to make his credit better and nothing has changed. The thing with the lights happened in the past two months.
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
Girl,you do need to move on.Tell him there's no kind of quality in your future with someone that doesn't prioritize properly.You have to be honest with him.
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Re: I think I'm about to be single...
Pay attention to that soft voice inside your body that says, "I don't wanna fuck you any more!" Significant sign, I'd say. Time to move on.