Yekhefah check out this link for more lovely 'disgusting' sexual moves...not for the weak!
http://www.uglyjackass.com/cool_stuf...crazy_sex_acts
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Yekhefah check out this link for more lovely 'disgusting' sexual moves...not for the weak!
http://www.uglyjackass.com/cool_stuf...crazy_sex_acts
What cretin compiled that list?
Sounds like the typical neanderthal type who has been mistreated by one or more women, and feels the best way to deal with it is by dispensing abuse to the rest of them--or at least joke about it.
I could probably think of a few sex tricks a woman could play on him, some of them would be quite easy to turnaround--but let's not go there, lol...
Djoser nice to see you defending us ladies!
Yeah that list is nutty but it's good for a laugh or 2.
I have some ideas as well ;) They involve 'crazy glue'...but I won't go there either ;)
No, now I want to hear about the crazy glue, lol...
Sounds diabloical, I love it.
You don't really have to say, my mind is already working on some nasty applications.
Like crazy gluing "Scotty Vain"'s rhinestone jacket on him, so he can wear it everywhere.
I like DJ Squalid, that's funny.
How about 'DJ Insipid'? 'DJ Tawdry'? Or possibly 'DJ Lame'?
I should mention that I once met Keoki at a club. A friend introduced us. This fuckstick extended his hand all haughty like he was the Pope or something and went "Hi. Superstar DJ Keoki." I laughed in his face. Puh-leeeeease.
Jesus, that is absurd...
There is some big House type DJ who put out a big, popular compilation CD (but his big song on it wasn't that good--too Housey for me), I'm racking my brain trying to think of his name--I know you all will recognize it.
Anyway, he was on Elimidate, one of the few really funny shows on TV I will watch if I'm in the right mood, to see people act like total assholes and get chosen as winner for it.
He kept saying, over and over again "I have the top selling dance CD in the nation!" And he made everyone come look at his Ferrari or whatever it was. Didn't work.
He was so much of an idiot he got shot down in the first round, which is unusual--generally the most flagrant asshole gets picked for the date...
Crazy Glue rocks. A friend of mine glued her boyfriend's ass cheeks together with it when she was in high school. He had to go to the ER to have the glue dissolved without ripping or burning his skin. Took him awhile to heal. Hee hee!
Actual living DJ's located in the Midwest:
DJ Brutal
DJ Python
DJ Cobra,
and last but not least, Long Schlong John.
Good god, that is diabolical...
I hope he deserved it, lol.
Now I am pissed that I can't remember the Elimidate DJ, but I think it might have been Louie DeVito.
Yekhefah that is HILARIOUS...*OUCH*!
here are some more idea....*hehe*...and NOT just Crazy Glue ;)
http://makehimpay.net/get-revenge.html
Those are awesome!!
I think the worst thing I ever did to a guy was cancel his credit cards.
Haha! Thank God somebody other than me thinks his jacket with his name on it is lame. I want to buy a case of Crazy Glue now. Either that or take off some of the rhinstones on the jacket to see if I can spell out something else, like DJ Fucktard, then coat the inside with the Crazy Glue.
Yeah, I'm evil, but he can be a tool. He is the kind of DJ that gets bitchy if he thinks your tip is not enough. Example: I worked my regular 11-7 shift and tipped the day DJ 35 bucks (15%). Then Mister DJ Vain came in and I worked with him for an HOUR. I did 5 dances and tried to give him 15 dollars and he bitched at me about it. Ugh, lame!
I would seriously and literally question the mental health of anyone who didn't think that was lame...Quote:
Originally Posted by gingerlee
See, if I worked with that guy...I'd have to get a very similar jacket and have someone spell out something amusing on the back so I could wear it at work, too. "I AM A COMPLETE TOOL" would be fun. Or maybe "LOOK, I HAVE A BEDAZZLER". "DJ SHITHEAD" etc etc.
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:Quote:
Originally Posted by MrChristopher
How about "ASSHOLE"...
If there was a way to switch around the rhinestones somehow, or switch jackets on him by having one all ready--"Oh, sorry, I spilled a bit of my drink on your shoulder, let me clean it with this towel real quick--THERE you go!".
That probably wouldn't work, I'll bet he's obsessed with the jacket, and it'd be easier to switch shoes on him, lol. In the movies, they'd come up with some ingenious plan to do it so he wouldn't even know.
Clearly he needs a little 'Mission Impossible' style espionage employed on him.
That reminds me of Disco Stu from the Simpsons.
Marge and Homer go through old things in the attic in preparation for
the big sale.
Marge: [holds up something else] Well, we don't need _this_.
Homer: [sputters] Marge! That's the Rhinestone Nights Fashion Gun. I need it to rhinestone up my old clothing. [holds up a jacket]
Marge: [reading it] Who's "Disco Stu"?
Homer: Oh, er, I wanted to write "Disco Stud" but I ran out of space --
[Later]
Ned: Now, folks, nothing spells "fun" like rhinestones on a dungaree jacket! [holds up "Disco Stu" jacket]
Man: Stu! You should buy that!
Stu: Hey: Disco Stu doesn't advertise.
Yes, I AM a total nerd. Okay, back to your regularly scheduled programming.
You know, all it would take would be a small panel of fabric of the same color with some mild adhesive on it, and a few rhinestones, to transform the jacket from:
"Scotty Vain" to
"Shitty Vain"
A little forethought would be necessary, to get the letters the right size so they'd match, but this would be easy to do if a devious dancer pretended to be suitably appreciative of it, meanwhile getting a rough measurement of the height of the letters from behind.
The devious dancer could then waltz into the booth a night or two later, pretending to be even more smitten with his irresistable charisma, and his incredibly stylish jacket, and rub his shoulders to accustom him to her touch--then quickly but smoothly rub it on with the same general motions.
Of course, he'd catch on eventually, and also figure out who did it, but I imagine that'd be quite a sight to see, him strutting around like that, lol...
Naturally, this post is purely speculative, and for entertainment purposes only.
Wouldn't "Drippy Vain" be more appropriate??
Oh my. Now I have fun things to do when I am bored! I am going to get all sneaky on him and figure out when (if ever) it is not the #1 thing in his world. Either that, or just put the poor thing out of his misery by having some sort of cleaning solution that screws your clothes to the point of no return.
Well, "Drippy Vain" would be better, sure--but "ASSHOLE" would be ideal...
I was just thinking of something that could possibly and realistically be pulled off, without having to bring in guys hanging from the ceiling on harnesses with walkie-talkies, guys in the utility room to cut the power to the lights at the exact right moment, guys hovering in helicopters to coordinate the plan, etc.
For entertainment purposes, only, of course...
"We have the technology......we can build him better"!!!
There's this stuff hunters use, "Essence of Deer Funk", "Deer Musk", or something, which is so powerful that nothing can clean it, or eradicate the stench. I read about it in one of those funny but serious books Revenge, or whatever.
This would be perfect, the jacket would be ruined, but it would appear to be intact. The guy would be distraught, but think he could save it, and possibly even shell out hundreds of dollars taking it repeatedly to dry cleaners, etc, and might first possibly even be tricked into wearing it, as is, wandering around wondering where that awful smell was coming from.
But it would have to be applied very carefully, so as not to get any on the applier, or in excess--causing a stampede from the club. From all indications, one very small drop on a thick piece of cloth quickly pressed up on the back of the jacket, while simultaneously spraying strong perfume on oneself, might do the trick...
We could always take DJ "Deer Funk" out snipe hunting!!!!
Mr Christopher your name was inspired!!! LOL And i've never heard of anyone being cocksmacked but it sounds great!!! ;P
I have worked with many DJs most names i forget too.. but i'll never forget good old Mick at Sunset Strip in London UK who came out with classics like 'you don't get many of them to the pound' when girls removed their g-string.. My god it was painful to watch :)