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I'm CHICKEN SH*T!!!
Well, I went down to the club (its about an hour and half drive) and got hired. I was starting today. I was supposed to be there at 10 to watch a movie and crap. Shifts there are 4 hours long so I was going to drive down with my friend who already works there and work a double. I chickened out. I went out last night and ran into this guy who happens to be my weakness guy. He got pissed off that I was dancing with this new guy I met. But I was drinking, and I guess more then i thought! But Ahmed (my weakness) seen me and got pissed off. I went up to him and asked him if he still had the birthday card I gave him a year ago (I had it written in arabic) and he told me yes! It ruined my night, so I took a chair and smoked from the hookah for the rest of the night. Well, this morning when I woke up, I just couldn't get myself out of my bed to go. Not because of lack of sleep, but lack of ruining it more. So I am pathetic, I needed to make the money so bad, and I stayed home because of a guy. The club is far away enough that he would never know, but I guess I realized how badly I want to be with him. Even if it's behaving myself and not making the money I could be making.