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Getting tired of the personal questions!
The other night, I was dancing for this older man, and he asks one of the questions I hate the most, "So, what does your boyfriend think of this?"
ARGH!! First of all, I don't have a boyfriend. Second, this guy just wants to know if I'm single. Third, no matter what I tell him, it's going to get me into a conversation I don't want to have.
So, I say, "Well, that's an awfully personal question."
And he proceeds to tell me, "No, it's not."
I wanted to sock him in the eye.
He bought one more dance then was done.
I think I've said it before, but after almost 8 years, I'm tired of telling these guys anything about myself. Weather it is a lie (I don't usually do that, because I'm not creative enough ;D ) or the truth, I just don't really have anything to say to them. I just want to go there, look good, be sexy, make my money and leave. So, who's with me?
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
Tell him your a lesbian and that you hate men...tell him the job did it to you ;)
Kidding of course...
I tell them I'm single and change the subject real fast...if they ask more stuff I make shit up.
You should have asked him what his wife thinks of him being there!
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
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Originally Posted by Sassy~n~Sexy
You should have asked him what his wife thinks of him being there!
You know, the thought crossed my mind!
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
I get that question all the time. It's annoying, but I almost always sell a dance from it. When they ask what my boyfriend thinks of this job, I light up and tell them how much it turns him on and how much he loves it. They're usually surprised by that, and ask me to explain. So I point out that I've got a postgraduate education and a career I enjoy; I'm stripping because it turns me on. When I do lots of lapdances, I come home so hot and horny that I jump my boyfriend as soon as I get in. <wink> Sometimes I tell him all about the hottest lapdances while I fuck him and it makes it so much better. He loves when I come home smelling like the club, with all that lovely strippersmell and all worked up into a frenzy...
By this point they've got a clear mental picture of how turned on I get from lapdancing, and a mental picture of me getting fucked. They don't know what my boyfriend looks like, so they fill in the picture with their own face, I'm sure. I'll let that picture burn in for a minute and then, looking like I've gotten so excited just from talking about it, I'll take their hand with a sexy, wicked smile and go, "Come on, let's go have some fun!" And they go.
This only works if you can really make it convincing and not make it look like SS. But it works!
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
Many dancers guilty of this as well. Yesterday, a majority of the strippers from whom I purchased laps inquired as to whether I was married or otherwise attached. I gave yes/no responses, depending upon my mood of the moment; one of the affirmatives followed up (mid-lap!) by asking, well what am I doing in a strip-club then? Maybe there's some reverse-psychology SS technique at play here, or she was trying to seem sassy or cheeky or whatever, but it didn't work for me.
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
Mine is convincing because it's about 90% true. If you hate stripping, it won't work.
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
I'm with ya. Unfortunately I think in most cases, we make our money by acting "personal" with them. With the older guys at least. This is yet another reason I prefer to deal with the younger guys; they aren't caught up in that shit - they just wanna get their dances and go ;D
The guy who told you that wasn't a personal question is a dipshit, and he deserves to be treated as such. If you can stomach it, tell him all the bullshit he wants to hear, and take all his money. Otherwise, just bitchslap him and walk away ;D
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
It seems like anytime anyone asks me if I have a boyfriend, I always reply honestly with a "No, I am single by choice." A lot of guys don't believe me and give me a hard time about it. Sometimes I just laugh it off and ask them why I would have a reason to lie. Other times I get annoyed and tell them I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.
But lately, I have been doing a lot of travelling so I have shifting the conversation over to travelling. That's been working really well for me. I am leaving for New York tomorrow moring and last night, four guys in a row were from New York. Two of them I took to the champagne room. I have been getting lots and lots of tips on what to see and what to do while on my vacation.
The whole bullshitting thing doesn't work for me. I could never remeber the story anyway and my life seems to be interesting enough for customers at this point anyways.
But I feel you. Sometimes I just want to dance and make the money.
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
I know what you mean. I always say that I am single and they never believe me. "how can a girl like you be single" Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, I DON'T want to be with someone. They act as if a guy wants you then you should of course want to be in a relationship.
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
I tell people that I am too busy and too selfish to be in a relationship at this point of my life. Most respectable guys appreciate that and are intrigued. It's usually the drunk idiots that keep pushing the issue and insist that I am lying to them. I have actually gotten up and walked away from guys like that. I don't want to waste my positive energy on them.
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
Drives me f'ing insane. I really really hate guys who ask personal questions at inappropriate times. If we've been talking for awhile, fine, then you can go there. But first question out of your mouth is "what do your parents think?" or "what's your real job?"? I want to kick them- it really makes me mad.
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
The way to deal with amateur psychologists is to turn the tables. When they say "What does your boyfriend think?" answer "What does your wife think"? When they ask "Do your parents know?" say "Do your kids know?"
The armchair psychoanalyst custie is merely trying to shift his own shame and guilt onto you. Don't give him the satisfaction.
Sometimes, they "want to know you" or are just terrible at conversation so they ask inappropriate questions. Just make shit up. If they ask you what your real job is, tell them you're an embalmer or a reptile handler.
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
I know, I really hate this as well. And the guys that always ask are the more serious (I'm just trying to be your friend, and I won't get a dance types). I never know what to say. Usually, I say that it was hard to go through at first for my man, but now he understands. As well, I mention that there is nothing wrong with what I do, especially becasue I would never provide extras. But I really like Yekhefah's idea!
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
Ah, the "I don't get lapdances" type. For guys who tell me that they don't get dances, I tell them that they are more than willing to tip me for my conversaton and time. I don't object. The good ones always tip. The ones who waste my time make a big stink. That's my cue to move on and keep working.
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
Yeah it's annying how the guys phrase it that way that both assumes you have one and wants to know anyway. I just lie and say that I don't have a steady boyfrind because I'm so horny and not one man alone can satisfy me and blah blah b.s. and do they want a dance. This makes the questions go in another direction and hopefully sells me a dance.
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
Being that our main objective in dancing is to make money, saying something to alienate the customer spending it on us is counterproductive.
I think it is better to engage in a discussion with him rather than be sarcastic. Tell him you don't have a boyfriend, and that your previous boyfriend worked at the club you used to dance in, and it didn't bother him as he knew that stripping was just a job, that we didn't go home with the customers, and that we only gave dances and not sex.
Then ask the guy,"So Hank, you go to strip clubs just to have a few drinks and some dances don't you? You go just to have a good time and enjoy our company don't you? Did your wife ever dance?"
You get the drift. Just get them talking about the question they asked, then ask them if they are ready for another dance, or in other words "normalize" yourself to these guys. They seem to think out of ignorance and chauvinism that dancers are slimy because they make their money entertaining men and exchanging sexual favors. The more you make yourself "like them" the more they will back away from the questions.
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
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Originally Posted by smartcookie
The way to deal with amateur psychologists is to turn the tables. When they say "What does your boyfriend think?" answer "What does your wife think"? When they ask "Do your parents know?" say "Do your kids know?"
The armchair psychoanalyst custie is merely trying to shift his own shame and guilt onto you. Don't give him the satisfaction.
Indeed.
That is how I handle these improper questions. It usually results in not making anymore money off them though. But I figure I don't want jerks for repeat customers anyway so it's like cutting my losses earlier rather than later.
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
Arghhh. It is soooo irritating! Here's an example of the other night in Champagne Room with a guy and girl:
Them: So we want you to come to Vegas with us next weekend. You'll make 10G for entertaining several Japanese business travelers. And there will be lots of "candy"...you can have whatever and as much as you want.
{hands me a business card}
Me: Wow. That's alot of money. But I don't use drugs. And does this involve sex? Because if it does, I'm not a prostitute, so I offer my regrets that I can't come.
Them: That's crazy. We're talking 10G for two nights. Are you married or something?
Me: Actually, yes I am.
Them: So he let's you strip naked but not [email protected] for money? What's the difference?
Me: It totally turns us both on that I'm a tease and he gets something that nobody else does and everybody wants.
Them: So what does he do?
{being flirty at this point}
Me: Oh, it doesn't matter.
Them: Really what does he do?
Me: You don't want to know.
Them: Tell us, we want to know.
Me: He's a special assignments cop.
Them: Ok, well it's getting late we have to go.
Me: {hahhaaahhhaaaaahhhhh!} ;)
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
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Originally Posted by dayzed
Many dancers guilty of this as well. Yesterday, a majority of the strippers from whom I purchased laps inquired as to whether I was married or otherwise attached. I gave yes/no responses, depending upon my mood of the moment; one of the affirmatives followed up (mid-lap!) by asking, well what am I doing in a strip-club then? Maybe there's some reverse-psychology SS technique at play here, or she was trying to seem sassy or cheeky or whatever, but it didn't work for me.
Seems like this topic could be both about what the girls don't like getting asked, and also what girls really should try not to ask the customers...personally, I have NEVER asked a guy if he's married/single/divorced. Personally, I feel it's really none of my business and more often than not, has a tendency to ruin the mood, which isn't what you're going for. Along the same lines, asking too much beyond the basics about what he does for a living is a big no-no, IMHO. Most guys come to us to get away from their jobs, so trying to make them talk about it more again, ruins the mood. Granted, you want some basic starting points for some meaningful conversation before you get them to the back, mainly because it develops a connection between the two of you, and a guy is more likely to get more dances with a chick he's connected with, at least on a basic level, than a girl that he doesn't feel he has anything in common with...just my two cents on the subject.
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
:banghead: Hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT! Shut the *F* up and buy a dance, otherwise you're wasting my time and irritating me. :banghead:
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
A tough subject: How do you safely get the customer to engage with you to sell dances?
As a customer, the rule of thumb I use is to never elevate the privacy of the discussion. If a gal sits on my lap to wait for the next dance, I'll ask how her night is. If she responds with a personal question, then I ask her back the same question and sort of take it from there.
And if I want a dance from you and you're lucky enough to ask me in between dances, then start your conversation quickly or please be quiet. There's little more annoying than when half way through a song a gal hits your buttons, then suddently out of no where wants to start a conversation. It's a sign you're nervous and it ruins the mood.
Suggestion: Take control of the conversation, find something safe you wouldn't mind talking (or lying) about (where you're from, what you like to do OTC) and ask him that question.
All this said, I was guilty of asking personal questions to dancers early on in my SC days. I always waited until the end of the dances, but some newbie customers are overwhelmed by what they don't know and it scares them a bit.
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
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Originally Posted by azcustomer
All this said, I was guilty of asking personal questions to dancers early on in my SC days. I always waited until the end of the dances, but some newbie customers are overwhelmed by what they don't know and it scares them a bit.
I think this is definitely the case with some customers, but the one from my original post was prying for more info...just irritating. On the other hand, I have recently cultivated a new regular (a younger guy) who was asking the same types of personal questions the first time or two that he came in, but I think he now realizes that he was out of line. Now, we can enjoy multiple (5 or more) dances in a row with no conversation or uncomfortable questions...just the way I like it! ;D
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
Lola Lee, is that a true story? :laughing: That's classic!! Good one!!
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
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Originally Posted by Yekhefah
Lola Lee, is that a true story? :laughing: That's classic!! Good one!!
1000% true and accurate
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Re: Getting tired of the personal questions!
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Originally Posted by azcustomer
And if I want a dance from you and you're lucky enough to ask me in between dances, then start your conversation quickly or please be quiet. There's little more annoying than when half way through a song a gal hits your buttons, then suddently out of no where wants to start a conversation. It's a sign you're nervous and it ruins the mood.
This is a bit off-topic, but I've noticed this a few times with GUYS starting to chat in the middle of a dance (I would never dream of talking, other than flirtatious bon mots, and find it odd that other girls do). It breaks my concentration and can really throw me off. Why do they do that? Is it also nerves for them too? Is it the equivalent of thinking about baseball?