Let me lament on being a stripper. There are some things I really think that needed to be said.
As a customer, you are not special. Not in the slightest. You are my income. You are my food, my rent and my new dress for the week. You are not my friend, my partner, my 'teacher' or my visitor. You are here to get a dance from me. You are here to see me naked on your lap for money. It's a good service and very much worth the $220 an hour you pay.
Why do I say you're only my income and not my friend? Because I do not get paid to be your friend. You will not get free conversation with me if you won't buy a dance from me. I am broke today and need to earn money for my cabfare home. Don't want a dance? You know what's nice? A tip. Are you broke? Then give me $5 and apologize for being broke. Hell at least you TRIED. And don't fucking give me a $5 to talk to you when you know I saw the pile of $50s in your wallet. I counted at least 20 of them. Yes, I can count money by it's size. I do it everyday. I can estimate a pile of American 1s within 4 dollars seeing it across a room.
Want to take me out? CONGRATULATIONS! You are in the only club in Queensland that offers that! What do you get? The fantastic opportunity to take me to dinner or the casino. It'll be $275 an hour for a minimum of two hours. Think that's expensive? In what other reality would you be able to take me out to dinner? If your 60 year old wrinkly butt came up to me, a young nineteen year old, on the street and asked to take me to dinner, I'd laugh! No, you do not get sex for that money.
Now, onto the sex for money bit. Brothels are legal here. Prostitutes are a ten dollar cabfare away. Don't be asking me to suck your smelly (and yes, I can smell it from here) dick for $50. And what makes you think I'll suck you for $50 but fuck you for free? You think your penis will impress me so much I'll just -HAVE- to pounce it?! And you know what, I think it's great you wanna suck my clit, really. Of course you love to do it. Of course you'll do it for hours and make breakfast for me the next day. Y'know the five guys before you said the SAME DAMNED THING to me?! It's -not- rare to want to lick pussy! Trust me, I want to lick it all the time myself. And so does my boyfriend, so stuff it.
And according to you, I don't have a boyfriend. That's not to say I want to be hit on - that's so you'll be my personal ATM because you think I'm pure and innocent. Even better, I'll tell you I have a girlfriend. No, sorry, don't cheat on my girlfriend. How will she know? I work with her. See? She's over there waving at me. I'll tell you stories about our sex if you give me an extra $40 an hour. If I do tell you I have a boyfriend it's because you really smell foul and I want to get you away as fast as I can. I'll tell you the owner's son is my boyfriend. He's agreed to pretend he is to guys like you. But don't tell his boyfriend.
The waitress makes less than I do, please tip her.
For the love of god, when I ask if you want a lapdance, do NOT ask for a 'preview'. This can either mean you want me to flash my (expensive!) goods or you want me to go on stage JUST so you can see if you MIGHT want me. Fuck that! Stage costs me 20 minutes of my time. 20 minutes equals about fifty bucks for me. Want me on stage? Give me fifty bucks. I will not ask to go on stage just so you can go, "Well, why would I want you now? I already saw your tits!" And no, I will not show you my tits 'real quick' for free.
And about tits. Yes, they're real. Yes they DID grow really big in the last two weeks. You can thank hormones for that. I'm only nineteen, they're still growing. And I'm damned happy I went from a B to a C in two weeks. Doesn't mean they're fake. And what the hell is with people suddenly asking me if my lips are real?! Nothing on me is fake except for my love for you.
Don't tell me I look like your child/grandchild/sister/wife's sister and then ask to suck my tit. Please! Last thing I need is a smelly seventy year old drooling on my cheek talking about how I remind him of his dear Sally and my pussy MUST look just like hers - only more mature - since she's only SEVEN! You sicko.
If you are not dancing with me do not: grab my ass, grab my tit, touch my thong, pull my thong, snap my thong (actually, don't do this at all), spank me, pick me up or anything I only do FOR MONEY in dances.
My glasses are real. STOP FUCKING GRABBING MY GLASSES OFF MY FACE AND TESTING THEM! I don't fucking grab your face, do I?! It's seriously fucking RUDE. And y'know what... when you fucking say "You look better without your glasses." my response WILL ALWAYS be "Thanks! You look better without my glasses too!" Because, dumbass, I NEED MY GLASSES TO SEE. Why don't I wear contacts? You get contacts in with acrylic nails. Really. Try it. Besides, my glasses are hot. Shove it.
I can smell your rancid aging dick from ten feet away. Shower. And when you do shower, please wash under your foreskin. You smell like week-old sperm and lice droppings.
AND TO THOSE FUCKERS WHO THINK THEY CAN DATE ME IF THEY DON'T BUY A DANCE... Yes, you... those fuckers who read 'The Game'. Those fuckers who think the first rule of dating a stripper is to never give her money. Yeah, YOU asshole. I. Do. Not. Spend. ANY. time. with. non-paying. customers.
And don't tell me you fucked a stripper before. It's not impressive. It's NOT a status symbol. You will not get points for fucking a stripper. Besides, I've done it too.
All you men - don't call me a flipping slut or whore! I respect whores very much, but I am not selling my body. Guess fucking WHAT?! I have a three month rule. YES I DO. You have to date me for THREE MONTHS before I'll CONSIDER fucking you. When I say that, don't tell me I must be bad in bed then. Because once I do fuck, I fuck at least 4 times a day and I love sucking my man off even more. And tell ya what, he's never complained. Just because I wait three months doesn't mean I don't have much sex. I've had sex about 30 times this week and you're PAYING to see pussy - who's worse in bed?
Don't tell me about how much you love your wife but then try to get me to come to your hotel. It makes me want to cry. And sometimes I do... just because I feel so bad for that poor woman who thinks her boy is out drinking with the blokes while he's actually trying to proposition strippers for sex. That poor woman. I hope your dick shrivels and dies and your wife remarries to a rich faithful guy with a huge cock.
Virgins are funny. Sorry, they just are. So shy. Kinda cute. Most are not assholes. They just wanna see and touch gently. Go virgins. :)
Okay, I don't think this had to be said but DONT GRAB MY PUSSY, LICK ME, KISS ME OR TOUCH ANYWHERE BETWEEN THE THIGHS! I thought this would be VERY obvious (especially since I told you) but I don't like mandrool on my tits, I just showered thank you. And your grabby ass hands on my pussy? EWWW! I bet when you went to the bathroom you didn't even wash up. Nasty! Not to mention, there are some aspects of me ONLY ONE MAN can have. That would be the ability to kiss me. The ability to lick me. The ability to touch my pussy and the ability to fuck it, too. Disrespect my personal property and I will shove my stiletto in YOUR personal property.
Just because the 'controller isn't watching' doesn't mean I'll say OKAY and let you lick/suck me 'real quick'. And don't FUCKING ARGUE WITH ME SAYING 'I know you really do want it'. No, I fucking don't. Do not tell me you don't care about security or cameras, that IT'S OKAY because no one will see. It's NOT OKAY because I will see, I will know and I will feel violated and molested.
And yes. It IS molest and I can have you arrested. There are rules. There are boundries. My club gave me permission to call the cops on anyone I felt necessary. Just because I said you could touch my tit didn't mean I said you could touch my pussy. TO ALL YOU THAT THINK IT'S OKAY - just because a woman agreed to suck cock doesn't mean she agreed to get fucked - and that is STILL rape. I don't deserve to be molested just because I work in a strip club. I set boundries. I set rules. They KNOW better. It. Is. Molestation. And I -will- press charges. Don't think I wont. Ask that greek guy in prison right now. :D
And y'know what?!
Thank you. Thank you to the nice guys. Thank you to the guys who don't touch. Thank you to the guys who tip. Thank you to the guys who just want conversation. Thank you to the guys who buy me presents. Thank you to the guys who brush my hair and rub my back. Thank you to the guys who applaud after every stage show. Thank you to the guys who understand. Thank you, Gary. Thank you, fellow dancers. Thank you for your respect, thank you for your kindness. Thank you for your money.
But most of all - Thank you for this last year I spent as a dancer.
Happy 1 year.
Morrigan
