WARNING! RANT AHEAD!
I've been dancing for 7 months, usually working about 5 nights a week. When i first started it was fun, a blast, new and exciting. Even when it wasn't exciting i made it fun by playing with the other dancers, grabbing random waitresses who weren't doing anything and dancing on the floor with them, on really slow nights i would dance on stage to Time Warp, Blood hound gang, YMCA, anything that was unusual and that i thought was a fun/twisted/wrong/silly/or not typical strip club song and enjoy myself. I could hustle all night long, sit with as many customers as i could get to and rarely took breaks for myself.
But the last 2 months I've noticed my attitude slowly changing. First i hated that i didn't seem to have a social life outside of the club, and that my 'fun times' were with guys i'd see once or twice if i was lucky, i felt my energy towards building friendships was being wasted on them. Then i started to notice the "asshole dickheads" more and more often, and felt that i kept ending up dancing for them. Now i look around the club and i see signs floating over the guys heads saying "grabby", "dickhead" , "asshole". "idiot who thinks i actually like him" ,"hoping to be my future boyfriend"
I find it nearly impossible to play the games these guys want to play. None of them seem to enjoy the club for what it's suppose to be. I'd rather twist their finger for touching my ass or stomache than gently move it, or land my ass hard on their crotch to hurt them as penalty for when they try to 'manuver' me toward it. I dont' want to giggle and say "naughty boy" for the chance at getting more lap dances later. I want to slap them. I use to genuinly smile, now it feels forced. I could look into their eyes and give off 'a vibe' and enjoy the vibe i got in return, that small sense of power that said, "i turned you on, you're loving it, i am female~! here me roar!" Now i can barely glance at their face with out feeling a forced smile coming on. my dance has changed to positions so i don't have to look at their face. I feel this is a very important difference from how i used to dance, and i'm sure it's cost me money, but i can't find it in me to look at them anymore.....
I know some guys aren't worth dealing with but it's hard sometime to draw the line and figure out who's worth what. I'm either sitting too long or too little before asking for a dance, and now it's like pulling teeth. sitting 20-30 min for one dance??? if i'm lucky??? I can't even hustle like i used to, i sit down with one, two, maybe if i'm feeling good 3 different guys in a row, and i'm drained. i have to take a break for myself, drink some water, maybe a soda, build up my attempted vibe (which somehow ends up with the appeal of watered down flat soda rather than a bubbly fresh Dr. Pepper) for about 10-20 min and then go out again. only to have to take another break just as quickly.
The last 3 weeks in a row have been my absolute worst ever. the worst part is that the nights have been consistently bad in amount of money i've made, about half of what i used to average. AND i've been trying my best to my ability.
Am I burnt out? Does anybody have any suggestions on how to improve my attitude so i can hustle more? I'm really worried that i'm viewing my surounding areas as being negative more and more. I don't drink, i dont' do drugs.
I've only been working at Expose in Austin for the last 7 months, but last night and tonight i'm working at the sister club, Palazio. Hoping a different attmosphere will improve things. I'm in a funk and want to get out of it. Any advice is appreciated.
Thank you girls in advance.
Raven
