I thought it was *my* damn wedding (rant)
It's time like this I wish I had a semi-normal family.
I'm getting married to an absolutely perfect man (or at least imperfect in ways that are perfect for me). Go me. The ring is wonderful, we have an expense account for the wedding and he's allowing me to be a bridezilla and control the whole thing (he knows me so well). I'm happy with how things are going, except for my family.
They're CRAZY. That's the short story. To expand, my father is an alcoholic (but won't admit it- so there can't be a bar at my reception- I look forward to explaining that), my mother is a passive-aggressive guilt-wielding freak (so she wants me to wait until I'm out of grad school- or she won't help pay), and my brother probably won't notice I'm getting married until the car drives away for the honeymoon (narcissistic- not a big deal, but it means he might not show, leaving a gaping hole in the ceremony).
The worst part of all is my grandmother. She thinks she runs everything, from deciding on the location (that will be best for her), the food (that will agree with her diverticulosis), and the guest list (no one she doesn't like- and she doesn't like a lot of people). Most specifically, she hates my aunt (my aunt had the audacity to divorce her husband, my grandmother's unmedicated bipolar son, after he beat the crap out of her and get custody- no child support). Really hates her. I love her and I will have her at my wedding. My grandmother told me that if my aunt comes, she will not come. Knowing my family dynamic, I'm aware there will be fallout from this and she will attempt to blackball me from the entire family (and probably be successful).
Planning a wedding is difficult and time-consuming. I have neither the energy nor the patience to deal with this crap. I just want to know if I'm being selfish in wanting this day to be about me and my fiance and less about my family's many issues. Eloping is starting to look better and better.
Re: I thought it was *my* damn wedding (rant)
my advise...keep your family COMPLETELY in the dark about it until they get the invitation. It's really NONE of their business what you do/don't do with YOUR wedding. Especially if you're paying for it. Tell them it's YOUR wedding and if they don't like it...don't come! It's not about them and their selfishness. It's about you and your soon to be husband..it's YOUR day. Don't let them get to you and stress you out.
I didn't have a bar at my reception because there are many alcholics/recovering alcoholics on my dads side, and I just didn't want to even take the chance of somthing happening..no biggy, just go to a bar/club with some friends after the reception for a "post reception" party..lots of people do that.
good luck!
Re: I thought it was *my* damn wedding (rant)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sassysummer
It's not about them and their selfishness. It's about you and your soon to be husband..it's YOUR day. Don't let them get to you and stress you out.
exactly...this is the thing to remember, ultimately. you should enjoy it....it shouldn't be a chore or something that you will look back on as an unpleasently chaotic/hellish experience. is your hubby ok with the elopement? think...you could pick anyplace in the world....a quiet beach....with a sane and/or medicated small group....you get the point...