1st horrible Friday in a loooong time (rant)
Holy crap....where have all the good customers gone? Certainly not in Los Angeles. I thought it was just Hollywood, but the "dance apathy" that so many young scenester guys (among other types) exhibit seems to have spread to other areas of the city as well.
And by "dance apathy", I mean this mentality that guys get where they refuse dances left and right because they think it's someone else's duty to get one, not theirs.
I guess I just had a really bad night...worst I've done in a really long time. After tip out, I left with about $45. I can deal with low money days. I know it's part of the job, but I literally felt like I was being mentally dissected by rude, nasty and completely unappreciative men all night long. Two guys tried to emotionally rip me apart in conversations. One asked if I was "broken" and proceeded to try and get inside my head because of my choice in profession, simply because I said I didn't want a boyfriend.
The other one seemed nice enough at first, but then promised lap dances if I would explain what I do in the lap dance area. This doesn't seem that bad, but it gets worse. When I told him my dances need to be experienced in order to be appreciated, he kept wanting me to "sell" him more (he said he was in sales). I was visibly frustrated because he was obviously trying to manipulate me, but he kept going...and told me he would only get dances if I reached down the front of his pants.
I lost it at that point. After only selling two dances and three drinks by 3am, I was almost in tears. And I did cry most of the way home. The managers who are usually known for being very money hungry, wouldn't even take tips from me.
I know that a lot of dancers have these same nights and I don't know what I hope to accomplish by posting this. I know that any sympathy will simply be lip service because it's very difficult for a normal human being to have compassion for someone they dont' know over the internet, especially when the situation is not all that critical. There are worse things going on in the world, and some of the dancers here are going through some really rough times too.
I guess I just don't have anyone else to talk to. I lost my former best friend to suicide and my current supposed best friend won't answer my phone calls for some reason. And I just lost another friend the other day due to a petty argument that couldn't be resolved.
I just feel really lonely. And I'm broke.
Thanks for reading this. Sorry to bum anyone out.
Re: 1st horrible Friday in a loooong time (rant)
{{{hugs}}}
I wish I had wiser words for you. Hopefully Paris or Yekhefah or Emily or another one of our great matriarchs will stop by soon with more constructive feedback. As a relative newbie, I can only empathize. That just blows. I know we're still in the 'slow'season', I know that these kinds of nights (and these types of guys) run rampant in the industry right now, but it still doesn't help when it's your turn to eat shit that night. I know I can tell you not to take it personally, but when someone deliberately tries to fuck with you emotionally the way those jackasses did, it'd hard NOT to take it personally.
Is it possible to take any time off right now? I know you said that part of the problem is that you're broke, but even a few days might allow you to gather your strength back. It's amazing how quickly one can feel burnt out in this biz.
I hope you feel better! You know deep down that you rock! Take tonight off, at the very least, and do something you love to do.
I love the new hair in you avatar, by the way!
Re: 1st horrible Friday in a loooong time (rant)
Hey if it makes you feel any better (and I'm sure it doesn't) I had one of those days yesterday too. Just a day from hell where I spent 6 hours at work and left with $80 and teeth marks from a customer who bit my shoulder after telling me for 2o minutes how i was "different" from the other girls and he wanted to "take care of " me....and I have a funeral to go to in 2 hours and it was all I could think about last night. ...Yesterday was the worst Friday I've seen in 10 years of dancing.....I feel your pain girl.
Re: 1st horrible Friday in a loooong time (rant)
I hate the guys who think there's something wrong with me (or any woman, for that matter) because they don't have a boyfriend. Oh, and the "sales" guys. I fucking hate them, too. I'm not paying you lip service. These two types, mixed in the right combination, can cause me to lose my momentum and my sanity at work.
And I know how frustrating it is to want to talk to someone who understands these work issues and nobody answers the phone! Keep your chin up...this is just a worst case scenario of taking the bad with the good. You'll probably go into work tonight and pull a grand...;D
***edit***
Oh, and if it makes you feel any better, I had a guy last night who killed my momentum by wanting me to sit (unpaid) for a song and then dance for a song, over and over. This is after he told me how he makes "alot" of money, but at the same time was telling me that there's more to life than money. I told him, "Well, when I'm at work, it IS all about the money." He told me that I was being "greedy" and I responded by with, "Well, you're being greedy with my time!" He kept saying that he could "do so much" for me. I told him that I wasn't worried about the long term, only what he could do for me right now. I got tired of this, because I hate sitting and talking to guys, so the third time he asked me to, I said that I would rather dance. He refused any further dances, and as he paid me, he said to his friends, "She's very beautiful, but very greedy."
Seriously, who tries to get a girl in a high volume club to sit and talk on a Friday night? That's Sunday night shit...;D
Re: 1st horrible Friday in a loooong time (rant)
Thanks for the support ladies.
I'm taking a vacation back to Buffalo for about 10 days starting next week, but I'm supposedly working out there too. I just can't save enough money in LA to take real time off. But at least it will be a change of pace and a nice break from everyone out here. Maybe I'll gain some more perspective and keep myself from going crazy by getting grounded a bit. It's not just the strip clubs that wear down a decent person's soul...it's this city too.
I'm really *trying* to look on the bright side and keep plugging along.
Quote:
Originally Posted by twisterinAZ
.and I have a funeral to go to in 2 hours and it was all I could think about last night.
See, I knew it could be worse. I'm sorry you had a bad night too, and I'm also sorry that you have to deal with a funeral on top of all that. The day someone tries to bite me is the day I become violent. I don't know how I would have handled that situation. Did you at least get money out of him? It's almost worse (to me) somehow if you don't.
Re: 1st horrible Friday in a loooong time (rant)
I hope things look up for you soon and that the change of scenery helps you. :hugs:
All of us need to remember this: A bad night at work doesn't mean that you did something wrong or that you're less attractive or less of a person. It's just a bad night, nothing more, and your self-worth is dependent on things other than how your shift went at the club. Get pissed, vent to friends or here, but please don't think less of yourself.
When customers start being clueless in a way that's hurtful to you (as opposed to just being naive, like, "Wow, strippers read books? And some of you don't do coke all the time? How about that?"), like assuming you're a damaged human being, you have the absolute liberty to get up and walk away. You can even tell them that you don't need to put up with anyone talking to you like that. Because you don't. You have no responsibility to argue with the guy or try to change his mind -- your responsibility is in maintaining your good mood and work momentum and removing yourself from his hugely negative views. Go back and read Pretty Penny's awesome thread about snapping and how much fun it can be.
Take good care.
Re: 1st horrible Friday in a loooong time (rant)
I do very well with salesmen - real salesmen - especially those who are sales managers and such. They seem to appreciate the fact that what I'm doing is sales and often tell me they enjoy my techniques. Some just seem easier for me to deal with.
The ones who claim to be salesmen and pull that "you have to REALLY sell me" shit are the ones who, IMO, suck at selling and will never last long at it. They are over-aggressive and think that's the best sales approach ::) They are also sadistic bastards who are, IMO, taking their frustration out on strippers because they can. And all this is assuming they really are in sales at all.
I have had my share of guys try to psycho-analyze me, insinuate I must be mentally / emotionally damaged in some way, etc. I am pretty sarcastic and can be a little bitchy in a "nice" way, so sometimes I enjoy verbally sparring with them or just plain cutting them down. But mostly I just roll my eyes and say something like "yeah I must be (whatever they're accusing) because all strippers are right?" and walk away without giving them a chance to reply. 99% of the time they will try to chase me down to get my attention but I just ignore them. They HATE that. LOL Some of them will try to act like they don't care in front of their buddies or even puff up their chests and call me some name, but their friends laugh at them or roll their eyes because they wanted a dance and the asshole made me go away. Sometimes the friend will even come up to me a few minutes later and apologize for the jerk and beg me to come back and dance. hehehe
Moral of the story is, they're trying to get to you and if you show them it doesn't bother you and move along, you win. Either by using your time to find someone else to dance for, or by getting dances from the non-asshole friend.
We all have shitty nights. Best you can do is learn not to care if someone buys from you or not. If they're not buying, don't spend any time on them. You will see, guys will buy more when you don't care. If they tell you they'll buy a dance IF you do _______, tell them you'd rather spend your time on better prospects and walk away. I have had guys come back and ask me for the dance and a couple even came over and just gave me the money for a dance they didn't get, while I sold another guy LOL. I guess it's a mindfuck game - they're trying to fuck you, but you just don't let them and mindfuck them instead ;D ;D
Re: 1st horrible Friday in a loooong time (rant)
Alexxahex, you're so not alone. On Tuesday night, I came home with $45 too! I wasn't even able to tip out everyone because I was not going to come home with nothing! This girl that's by my locker came home with negative money! It's riduculous when you have to pay the club to be there like a customer! That is not something I will ever do. If it came down to it, I would have to tell the others I'm sorry I can't tip out tonight, and they understand, especially because they know I tip them very well on most nights. My friend and I wasted about 30 minutes on this idiot guy who claimed to be making this movie with Tom Hanks, and that he was bringing Tom Hanks in on Friday night and wanted us to show him our best, biggest private room we have (The Penthouse), and he was going to get the Penthouse with us that night too. All he was was the biggest, BS, full of sh$t guy I've ever met in my life!!!! THe bad thing was, he was such a good actor, he was sooo convincing! I told my friend, the close to movies he's probably done was take acting lessons! Ughh, grrr!!!
I can almost always tell when someone's BSing like that but for a little while, he had me believing him! He turned out to be a total loser and we didn't make any money off of him but to make things worse, that caused us to miss out on better prospects because there were a handful of girls that did go to the Penthouse that night and banked, while the rest of us barely made anything. I could have made more that night too, but I was just over it by 1:00 and didn't do anything. It's amazing how one customer can piss you off so bad and throw you off so much that it messes up your whole night. I generally never let that happen but for some reason, that night, I just wasn't in the mood to deal with anymore!
It happens to all us, even the most experienced dancers who've been doing it a long time! It even happens to the girls that always seem to bank, it's just the nature of the business. Some nights are good, some are great, some are ok and some just suck! It doesn't make you a better person for banking and doesn't make you less of a person for not. Just go in the next time you're scheduled with a good attitude and tell yourself, tonight will be better and most of the time, it is. Good luck hun and hope the change of scenery in New York is refreshing to you!
Re: 1st horrible Friday in a loooong time (rant)
Yeah I feel You hun. This whole week was bad! I only made $48 then last night witch was the worst friday I've ever seen I made $140. This is starting to get fucked up!
Re: 1st horrible Friday in a loooong time (rant)
In DE too. Although it was a bit ( only a tiny amount) better then $45...
Come on FALL!!!
Re: 1st horrible Friday in a loooong time (rant)
That same question is being asked all over. I know a couple of dancers who are already talking about taking all of August off and coming back in September.
Re: 1st horrible Friday in a loooong time (rant)
*yawn* I just woke up and I'm starting to feel better, especially after reading all of these great responses. I honestly expected the thread to fall by the wayside without any other posts. So, thank you girls!
Some fights are not worth fighting, but I think I'm letting too much slide lately. Next time someone tries to rip me apart, he'll get it right back! I love Bridgette's idea about walking away (another version of the take away close! brilliant!). I think I've done this before without even knowing it and gotten a good response. Even if the mf doesn't get a dance, I still walk away with my sanity in tact.
A big *hug* all the girls who haven't been making a lot lately. Thursday was really good for me, so yesterday's events and lack of money were probably also a huge shock to my system. I heard August is the worst month at my club (so glad I'm taking a week off). Things will pick up!
I'm just glad I've got this forum to come and bitch when things get bad, and share when things are good too. Y'all kick ass! (yes, I said y'all).
:grouphug:
Re: 1st horrible Friday in a loooong time (rant)
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlexxaHex
I love Bridgette's idea about walking away (another version of the take away close! brilliant!). I think I've done this before without even knowing it and gotten a good response. Even if the mf doesn't get a dance, I still walk away with my sanity in tact.
Exactly the reason it's best to just walk away - a blunt remark as you're walking away doesn't hurt ;D Better to spend your time on better prospects.
Re: 1st horrible Friday in a loooong time (rant)
Okay, here is my bad night rant:
Sunday night... my second night dancing in Melbourne (also my second last night since I was only going to be dancing three nights in total). After having a fabolous Saturday doing the photo shoot (I published some of the photos in the Picture Post section), I was in a very motivated and great mood.... I was in a money-making mood! I probably would've too except....... right at the start of the night (I'm talking the first few hours) I came by this table of people. One girl and three guys. They were seated in a semi-circle fashion around the table so they could see the stage easily so I was speaking with one of the guy's on the "end" of this little semi circle.
Whilst this was happening, the rest of them get the bold idea to stack the drink glasses on top of each other. These are the small ones which spirits are served within.... they stacked a good 8 on top of each other. Naturally, with me being kneeled near this guy speaking with him I was watching this stack. I even would check it carefully to make sure it was stable and sturdy ...and I wasn't in any danger.
Then the guy at the other "end" of the semi circle opposite me gets one of the empty beer bottles and puts it on top of this stack to be the "point" of the stack. The stack was still stable and okay.... and I thought that was it.. they would be done with it. Meanwhile, this is all happening within the space of 2 songs by the way.....
Then this same idiot guy gets the bloody brilliant idea to try to put another empty beer bottle on top of the one already in the stack. It happened so quickly that I couldn't stop him. I definately tried to stop this guy from doing what he was about to do both verbally (saying NO NO NO NO) and physically (trying to get up from my kneeling position to stop him).... however I was two seconds too late.
The whole stack naturally became instantly unstable... and they smashed... and some of it fell onto me... and a few bits cut my skin. I left instantly to go to the dressing room so I could tend to my wounds as two of them were bleeding more than the other very small cuts.
The manager that night got the first aid kit for me so I could have some bandaids. He saw the "damage". Anyway.... so that incident at the beginning of the night prevents me from going on stage ever again for the rest of the night (as the band-aids were placed on my knees... a part of my body I couldn't hide on stage plus would be using alot due to floor work and having to kneel down to accept tips etc).
Then the night ends up turning into one of those nights where all the girls who made $$ did so via the stage as the guys were being predominately stage tippers .... and usually only getting a dance from girls they had tipped on stage.
Just that incident in and of itself was enough to crush me. I had a shit night. On top of that.... the manager that night was being very unreasonable (and I didn't work my last night because I knew that manager would be working and make my night horrid so it was better to not work and not make money than to work and not make money).
So believe me when I say I can related... maybe not this particular night however I have definately come across those guys you speak of... those guys who want me to "sell" them. I usually don't bother with them... try the take-away close on them... and if they don't bite after that... leave them for someone else to deal with... they can get me if they want me.
I've become very impatient these-days with people.
Re: 1st horrible Friday in a loooong time (rant)
Ugh! What is wrong with those people? Why would anyone stack glasses and then try to put BEER bottles on top of them?? What retards!! I'm sorry that happened to you. Not only does it effect you that night, but it takes several days or weeks even (depending on the severity) for your body to heal from the cuts. I would be pissed as hell! >:(
On a brighter note, tonight went a lot better...just under $800! I got to dance for two REALLY hot guys. One of them gave me his number and I might go out to lunch with him next week. He came in Thursday also and has spent quite a bit of money on me both nights and is very sweet and respectful as well as great to look at. ;D We'll see...I'm so wary of dating a customer but I might be willing to bend the rules just once. Sorry to get off topic. :P
Re: 1st horrible Friday in a loooong time (rant)
I wish saturday night was better for Me! I only made $20. There was like only 7 guys in the club the whole damn night! Slowest I've EVER seen it!
Re: 1st horrible Friday in a loooong time (rant)
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlexxaHex
Thanks for the support ladies.
I'm taking a vacation back to Buffalo for about 10 days starting next week, but I'm supposedly working out there too. I just can't save enough money in LA to take real time off. But at least it will be a change of pace and a nice break from everyone out here. Maybe I'll gain some more perspective and keep myself from going crazy by getting grounded a bit. It's not just the strip clubs that wear down a decent person's soul...it's this city too.
I'm really *trying* to look on the bright side and keep plugging along.
See, I knew it could be worse. I'm sorry you had a bad night too, and I'm also sorry that you have to deal with a funeral on top of all that. The day someone tries to bite me is the day I become violent. I don't know how I would have handled that situation. Did you at least get money out of him? It's almost worse (to me) somehow if you don't.
Yep I got a big 20 bucks that I spent before breakfast.
Re: 1st horrible Friday in a loooong time (rant)
i'm sorry. it must be something in the air/water. i left my work friday with 45 bucks. i'm not kidding... that exact same number. the worst i've done before that was 100, and i thought THAT was bad. :( hopefully it wont happen again for us.