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The other end of the weight spectrum
I didnt know where to put this thread but i've need to vent something and i know you girls are super sweet and maybe can help me out!
Why is it ok for some random guy/girl to walk up to me and exclaim one of the following:
"Your sooo skinny"
"You need to eat more cheese burgers"
"I'd break you"
"You need to eat more"
"Such a tiny thing"
And to make it even more dramatic they grab my wrist or waist.
Girls, I'm going to be 22yrs old and i only weigh 98lbs. I got some boobs and hips. I'm 5'6 and believe me i eat like a freakin feen (sucker for chicken wings and barbque chips...cover it in blue cheese and i'm there). It's genetics. GENETICS! I dont have any sort of eating disorder but god damn do people make me feel like i do.
Lately more and more people are makin nasty comments about how tiny i am. I mean i'm sure they dont mean for it to be nasty but they fuckin hurt. Now i feel like shit. My body perception is all screwed up. I keep seeing a scrawny thing even though i know it not my fault. I'm trying to cover my body so no one notices it so i dont have to hear it. But no one gives symphathy to the skinny girl. I get "your lucky". But i'm not. I have an urge to get nasty and just exclaim stuff like "well your fuckin fat!" or something. But i cant...its not who i am.
How do i get out of this funk?
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
I've noticed how mean people can be...it isn't PC to make comments of a similar nature to fat people...but it's perfectly acceptable to say "Ugh you make me sick, you're so skinny" or "I hate you! You're so thin"
As long as you're eating a healthy amount of food, kudos to you...and just keep telling yourself how obnoxious those people are...if they have such little care for other people's feelings they're not worth caring about about anyway...If That's you in your profile pic, honey, you're gorgeous
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
Some people are honestly just jealous... =P
But they have no place to be telling you things about yourself... like when people used to tell me how thick my glasses were I would just give them a "better-than-you" look and say "uh... yeah?''
Kind of makes them feel stupid or rude usually. Which is what they're being
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
My friend is dealing with this, she has a thyroid problem (probably Graves Disease) that makes her unable to gain weight. I tease her sometimes about it 'cause I'm always trying to lose pudge, but you know what, it sucks for her. Sometimes she's hungry all the time, no matter what...Her body is burning calories too fast. If she goes without food, she gets sick.
Why not work out & bulk up...? Then people will be too intimidated to walk up & grab yor arm...they'll be scared to do that!
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
I'm sorry your going through this. Don't let the assholes mess with your self-esteem. They are just jealous. Besides anyone with a history of eating disorders can tell you the naturally thin look great in the face, the compulsive dieters tend to have sunken eyes with dark circles or pronounced cheekbones (they ususally look sick). From what I can see of you in your av you look great.
Jasmine
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
The reason why people say things like that is because they are envious and think that they are actually giving you a compliment. The frame of mind they have is - "doesn't every girl want someone to be jealous of how thin, beautiful, fit, tan etc etc etc they are?". It has been engrained in women's minds that thin is the ultimate thing to be and we are basically obsessed with it to some degree. You on the other hand... It has been engrained in your mind that there is something wrong with you because you are so thin, so it hurts your feelings. You just have to look at it from someone else's perspective and when they give you a comment like that all they are really looking for is you to reply with something about how grateful you are for being able to be so thin with no effort. It's just like someone being grateful for being born with amazing tits or legs. At least that's what I mean if I say to someone that I hate them for being so thin. I actually mean that I'm envious and think they they have-it-all sort of deal.
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
OMG! I TOTALLY understand! I used to get that ALL the time...I still get it, but now I've had 3 kids and have filled out a tiny bit..but I'm still pretty small.
people really don't understand. When I was a freshman in high school, I started the year at 5'4 and 60lbs! By the end I had gain 30 lbs and 2 inches, but was skinny. I always got accused of being annorexic because people would see me eat MASSIVE amounts of food and assume i was throwing it all up. I used to have the hardest time finding pants that fit me...I was long and skinny and had no hips (still don't).
There was a website, it may have been posted here somewhere, it was essentially a "column", maybe a blog about this very subject! It was sooo damn funny! And had some great comebacks
Don't worry about it..as you get older, and if you plan on having kids, you'll start to fill out a little more..you probably won't ever fill out alot, but enough for people to quit hounding you. I would stay away from the junk foods though, not good for your heart/arteries. Stick with eating healthy and up your protein intake and work out with heavy weights until failure (meaning on your last set, do it till you can't do it no mo! lol )
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
If you feel good and you eat healthy ( somewhat ) and most of all if you are happy with the way you look dont worry about it . Maybe next time you visit the doctor ask them to check your blood and see if you are all good . Some people are just petite - and I hate you guys lol !j/k
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
I would never say "You make me sick, you're so skinny" but... 5'6" and 98 lbs? And you eat and don't suffer from an eating disorder? Like, hon, that is really skinny. Have you seen a doctor? Like, I DON'T think they are jealous. I'm sure you are not ugly and that you are attractive and pretty, and I would want you to feel good about yourself, but - that is really, really skinny. I would be worried, if I were you. And if you do a search on this site, you will see people being pretty candid over fat issues - it's not just you. I do appreciate that it is a drag to have people criticizing your appearance - and people are probably not trying to insult you or hurt your feelings, so if you just mention that it is bothering you, they will probably stop (at least I remember it working pretty well with me).
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
I use to hear the same comments, not too long ago actually. People are just jealous; they don't realize that saying "You need to eat more" is just like saying "You need to lose weight". People don't think. I'm sure your metabolism will slow down, and you'll gain a bit more like I have. Now Im nice and curvy and you know what? People STILL tell me I could stand to gain 20 more pounds!
As long as you're happy, don't listen to anyone else.
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
People are always going to comment. But if you're around people that are always putting you down, haha time to change friends perhaps? If it's just random people you can explain to them it's genetics and that insulting your skinniness is just as bad as calling someone tubby.
I like Tifrae's response for talking back to them. And if it's random people putting you down and grabbing your wrist/waist, that's way out of line.
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
A BMI of less than 16 is pretty thin though. I'm not accusing you of an eating disorder, but just suggesting maybe you should rule out any other underlying health problems? Maybe just get your thyroid checked to be sure. Better to know for sure that it is a genetic thing.
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
Quote:
Originally Posted by mollyzmoon
A BMI of less than 16 is pretty thin though. I'm not accusing you of an eating disorder, but just suggesting maybe you should rule out any other underlying health problems? Maybe just get your thyroid checked to be sure. Better to know for sure that it is a genetic thing.
The body mass index is the worst assesment of physical health there is. I cannot think of a worse way to define obesity than with that. I would follow this advice though, it is possible that you may have a hyperactive thyroid. It's rare, but possible.
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
^^It's true it isn't very accurate for people who are very active muscle builders and go over the BMI by a lot (than a fat percentage check is obviously better), but for someone with a very very low BMI- that's a fairly good sign of being underweight. It's not the end of the world health wise, for sure, but it does often indicate problems. If someone is eating 2000-2500 calories a day without being very active and they are still significantly underweight, it's a good idea to check it out. This may be inappropriate as a metaphor, but whenever I see someone's dog or horse with lots of bones sticking out, I think "maybe they need to see a vet". Also, a nutritionist could help you put on weight if you wanted to, though I'm not suggesting it's necessary.
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
the only thing that made me really gain weight (other than having kids) was bcp's even still i was like 105lbs at 5'7. I knew it wasn't my thyroid, since we had it checked. it's just that my metabolism was super fast.
I totally feel your 'pain" though, ugh...i fully remember being called anorexic, frog legs, totem pole, president of the itty bitty titty committee etc etc etc....
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
I got this alot when I was a teacher from other older, fat teachers. They were jelous and chances are the people saying things to you are too. I would respond by saying "Thank you. I know aren't I lucky."
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
Customers often tell me to eat a burger.
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
Thanks for the support guys! It really made me feel good to see i'm not the only one out there. Lately i've been trying to bring myself out of the funk by getting back into stretching and maybe yoga. But I'm afraid if i tone up i'll only look worse. Argh!
(P.S. Doctors say nothing about my weight. I'm always 100% healthy. So its not medical *shrugs*.)
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
That was my life until I turned 18. I was 5'8" and 110 tops all through high school, and the constant rumour was that I was anorexic. I would eat like 4 litre tubs of ice cream trying to gain weight, to no avail.
It annoyed the HELL out of me that people felt they could comment negatively on my weight- so much so that I got into a habit of telling people they were too fat when they said I was too skinny. :D
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
I used to be very skinny until I hit my teenaged years. Then I learned I could gain weight and now I can't seem to lose it. But I used to get teased when I was skinny and get told I was like a cherry stem and stuff like that. It hurt my feelings then but god I wish I had that problem now so please do consider yourself lucky. They are most likely jealous and mean no harm by it at all.
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
One of my best friends has this problem. She's super skinny about 5'8 and 105 pounds. She's just got tiny bone structure, and even though she has a tiny bit of curves (small b cup) people would always always comment on her weight. Well, she got sick of it and devised a plan of action. This is what she did:
Start using self tanner. If your skinny and pale you will have the more sickly eating disorder/strung out look. Having some color will make you look more vibrant and healthy. She uses some Lancome self tanner every couple days. Also use some blush at work to put color in your face.
She started going to the gym. Not to lose weight, but to "build" some curves. She started lifting free weights and her body changed SO SO much. She has this cute round ass now that she never had before and her legs are super gorgous and shapely. No, she's not big or manly she just has some shape to her. She lifts weights about 3 times a week. She started out using 5 lbs, then 8, then 10 and now she's at 12 pound dumbells. I think she plans on sticking to that weight level for now.
She started out with a personal trainer twice a week for a month, but now she does it on her own.
Eat, but eat healthy and on a schedule! She used to eat lots but it was junk food. And would get busy, forget a meal and be stuffing herself to make up for it later.
She eats every 3-4 hours. Lots of protien and whole wheat carbs, low fat dairy and tons of fruits and veggies. I think she eats about 2,400 calories a day. I think 1 or 2 of her meals is a protien shake made out of Whey Protien.
She's gained about 6 pounds, and even though her actual size hasn't really changed much, she doesn't look bony anymore. She looks toned and shapely with her new muscle tone.
Oh, and all the girls at work are in love with her ass. It really is awesome. She was pretty flat in the behind before but says she did tons and tons of weighted squats and now it's pretty round. Still small, but round, high and tight! So all the girls at work are raving on and on about weighted squats and comparing their butts each week. It's pretty damned funny.
Hope some of this stuff helps. Good luck!
When people say stuff just tell them "I don't appreicate you commenting on my body. It's rude" and look them dead in the eye. She does that and they get pretty embarrassed. But now people mainly tell her how great she looks.
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
I have the same problem. People say stupid shit like "oh you do NOT need to work out". Ummm... how do they think people stay healthy if not working out? Yes I do need to work out if I want to keep it. heehee... anyways:
I agree with lovespell. Just say, "I'm not sure if you are aware, but your comment is actually really hurtfull."
I had the same body type as you, but I am 3 years older. For myself personally, I abused my metabolism to the point that you know what, now I have a saggy butt with cellulite. Don't do what I did. Don't eat junk just to try and gain weight. You will gain it and you won't like it. Like others said, doing weights is a great idea. Anyway, instead of changing your body for other people, just turn their comments around and dump it right back in their lap. "That's rude" or "that hurts my feelings" or "please dont' make comments on my body, it's rude".
Good luck
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
Quote:
Originally Posted by DirtyLittleSecret
.
How do i get out of this funk?
A few slices of pizza for starters :O
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
the comment i hate the most, the ABSOLUTE MOST, is when people comment that they like "real women" you know "women with some weight on them". i see it in commercials all the time. the "anti-thin" movement. there was a commercial once that said they believe in real curves not pencil thin bodys, and that REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES.
so thin women aren't real? they're all somehow DEFECTIVE as women? fuck that. that's -real- "empowering" you'd think if they cared about women loving themselves for who they are (within healthy reasoning) then they wouldnt focus so much on portraying thin girls in a negative light.
not everyone who is skinny has an eating disorder. in fact, i used to force myself to eat untill i was sick, and then concentrate on not throwing up when i was younger. i was teased so badly, that i wore baggy clothes constantly and wouldnt throw away any of my food in public. even if i hated it or i was completely full. i'm 5ft6 117 lbs, which is bigger than you, so i know how you must feel. i filled out a bit and have some curves now (mostly in my ass) i'm 27, but i still catch flack a lot. in fact, at one of my last jobs i had some people talking behind my back about wanting to have an "intervention" for me. you know, for my "eating disorder. they didn't think i was anorexic, they thought i was bulemic. why? because i eat constantly. why? because my metabolism is out of control and i get dizzy/cranky/fatiqued really bad if i don't eat.
but no. i MUST be throwing it up.
*rolls eyes*
weight should be about health. if you're healthy physically (which obviously means not ridiculously under or over weight) it shouldnt matter what particular shape you are. we DO have different bone structures. that whole "big boned" thing isn't a joke, neither is being "small boned". we all carry weight different and have different body types. big deal.
and i hope the "eat some pizza" remark was meant to be sarcastic/ironic. because if that was serious, that's really lame.
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Re: The other end of the weight spectrum
The grass is always greener on the other side. Who gives a shit what other people think. If you're on the thinner side they want a "real woman". If your a "real woman" they'll tell you that you could lose a few. Everyone is always trying to belittle somebody it seems..especially in this business. Just ignore them or put them in their place. -Whatever your up for. Either way, it's really their problem not yours. Don't let em' drag you down. Keep your head high, keep smiling, and walk away.