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Over heard
Im not sure if anyone else here reads "overheard in Ny " but I do and im going to share some of the funniest shit they have on their site.
Child: Does that man have an accent?
Mother: He might just be retarded.
--Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Mother to father: Oh my! Jerry, say something to that old man. His testicles are hanging out of his swimsuit.
Little girl: I have testicles. They're in my mouth. [Opens mouth]
Mother: Not tonsils. Testicles!
Father: Seven, and already MTV has ruined her.
--Virginia Beach, Virginia
irl #1: I get so many freckles in the sun.
Girl #2: Yeah, I am so going to get cancer in 2 years. I have so much sun damage.
Girl #3: Um, actually freckles just mean that your skin is working.
--Robert Moses Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Jackie
Guy on cell: When the freeway ends, turn left...Yes, the freeway ends....Because the continent ends, dipshit.
--Hermosa Beach, California
Guy: So how's Bob?
Girl: He's okay. They went in and found the tumor and took it out. They still need to do a biopsy to see what it is, but they think they got it all.
Guy: Yeah, but how is he?
Girl: He says he's got a big headache.
Guy: Well, yeah, of course he's got a headache!
Girl: Yeah, huh? The guy did just have brain surgery. But you know Bob. He was back in business on Friday, still selling herb, but now he's got a patch on his head. "We gotta get back to normal!"
Guy: That's a New York Jew for you.
Girl: You said it, not me.
--Coney Island, New York
Girl: Am I going to have big boobs?
Flat-Chested mom: Um, probably not.
Girl: But boys like big boobs!
Flat-Chested mom: Only dumb boys do, because only dumb girls have big boobs.
Girl, after thinking for a minute: Grandma has huge ones.
Flat-Chested mom: Ooh, look at the pretty birds!
--Panama City Beach, Florida
Little boy: I can't believe we went under. I still have that taste in my mouth!
Dad: Get used to it. You'll be tasting that your whole life.
--Horseneck Beach, Massachusetts
Mom to little boy: Now, don't touch other people's eyeballs.
--St. Simons Island, Georgia
Girl: I had this weird dream about anal sex last night. I think it was from when you were joking around when I was bent over the sink before.
Boy: I wasn't joking around.
--Bradley Beach, New Jersey
Mom to little boy: You do not pee on somebody unless they ask you to!
--Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina
Queer: Oh my God, I hope that guy over there thinks I'm cute.
Hag: Oh no, I hope I'm not pregnant.
--Uptown 1 train
Conservatively-Dressed guy: So my fingers are covered with little box-cutter cuts, which means I can't go shoving them into the places that I used to. Now I might catch something.
--Brooklyn bound L train
Conductor on loudspeaker: Stand clear of the closing doors! [long pause] Retard!
Loud girl: What did he say?
Conductor on loudspeaker: Yes, I called him a retard!
--PATH train, WTC station
Younger black man with suitcase: I just want you all to know that I am getting on the train with a suspicious package.
Older black man, not looking up from his newspaper: Nigga, that is the stupidest thing you could have said.
--Downtown 1 train
Old woman to cop, looking down at man on sidewalk: Is he dead?
Cop: Yes, ma'am, I'm afraid he is.
Old woman: Good. Arrest him.
--Forest Hills, Queens
Hipster girl #1: I bet she had a frontal lobotomy.
Hipster girl #2: Really? I was thinking she might be slightly autistic.
Hipster girl #1: Maybe she's just really happy.
--Court & Warren, Brooklyn
Lost tourist on cell, blocking the crosswalk with her luggage: I'm standing on the corner of 42nd and 3rd.
Passing native: Yeah, and in everyone's mothafucking way.
--42nd & 3rd
Young woman on cell: He said he just wasn't attracted to me. What do you think he meant by that?
--60th & Madison
Teen girl: I've never figured out all those different deodorant smells. Why do you need deodorant with different smells?
Mother: Well, maybe someday you'll have a boyfriend you'll want to impress.
Teen girl: By having fruity armpits?
Mother: You never know, he might want to smell them.
--Union Square
:O
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Re: Over heard
I can't stop laughing... that was so damn funny lol
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Re: Over heard
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Re: Over heard
Circulation Department. How Can I Direct Your Underwear?
Salesgirl: And, with this purchase, you get a free set of panties. What size would you like?
Girl #1: Oh, really? Cool. Medium, please.
Girl #2: How are you a size 4 in pants and an extra-small in shirts but a medium in underwear?
Girl #1: Well, underwear always run true to size. You can't kid yourself into thinking you look skinny when your thongs are cutting off circulation to your labia.
--Express, 34th & 7th
Overheard by: I would have to agree
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: Over heard
Hahahaha. Those are great.
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Re: Over heard
Yek, was this you??? :)
-- At the Seventh Veil nude club in Hollywood, two brothers and their sister talking to a stripper...
Stripper: "So what's the occasion tonight?"
Older Brother: "I just devirginized my sister here, and we thought we'd celebrate at the strip club!"
Stripper: "Wow. And I thought I was Southern."