In A Funk I Can't Seem To Pull Myself Out Of (Longish Rant)
It started with my last trip to Vegas that was about three weeks ago. I have worked there before. But apparently a manager that I had never seen before pulled me aside in the middle of my shift and told me that I had to "tone up" before I could work one of his shifts again. I was shocked. Number one, there is nothing on my body that needs to be toned up. I am all muscle from all of the sports I play. Number two, I was hired on for this club to work all shifts by the head guy that is the hardest guy to get hired by in the first place. Needless to say, I broke down and cried for an hour after that. I went home with $60.
The next week, I was in my home club working and I sat with a guy who said that he was going to take care of me for sitting with him (I should have gotten the money upfront). I spent an hour with him and he wanted to give me and another girl that was sitting with us $80 total. Then he wanted to get touchy feely with me. I took great pride in telling him to go to hell. It took all of my power NOT to spit on him.
Then yesterday, I sat with a guy who had the manager pull me offstage. It seemed promising. Then when the time came where I asked him if he wanted dances or to compensate me for my time with him, he said no. The reason why he wasn't going to spend money on me was because he wanted to date me outside of the club. Giving me money would objectify me in his eyes but yet if he were to give me money outside of the club, wouldn't that be objectifing me too? I explained to him that this was my business and that I was here to work. He refused to listen. I left work last night in a slump too.
Also yesterday, I sat with a guy and when I asked him if he wanted a dance, he said that he doesn't get lapdances. Then I saw him later getting two 3 for $100 with another girl. I hate guys that lie. If you don't want a dance from me, fine. But don't lie to me and tell me that you don't get them when you do.
What gives? I have only been dancing for six months. I started off doing really well and now I can't climb my way out of this slump. I am pretty bummed. I don't even want to work.
Re: In A Funk I Can't Seem To Pull Myself Out Of (Longish Rant)
It seems like every dancer at one point or another has a run of bad luck. The only way I've ever gotten out of it was
1) stop wasting my time with guys. Ask them right away if they want a dance, or if they are planning to get one. If you get the "I want to see you outside here" or "I dont get dances" speech...leave. Immediately.You'll know not to bother.
2) the guys who said he doesnt get dances, then got them from someone else...now when this happens I wait until they are done(I dont want to mess with HER money)then go up to him and tell him that next time just tell the dancer he is waiting for someone else...dont lie to her.
I tell guys when they do something rude. Like yesterday...I was on the bar(we have to walk on the bar after our stage set)and 2 guys were sitting there. One was on the phone and had a stack of ones on the bar. As I walked up he turned away grabbing his money off the bar and holding it in his hand instead. His friend gave him a nasty look, then tipped me.
When I got off the bar I went up to phone guy and said"You dont have to grab your money...we arent going to steal your dollars" He looked at me and said "Oh...were you offended by that?" I told him yes I was and would appreciate it if he didnt do it again....that it was rude. Then I walked away. At least I said my piece instead of internally fuming..so I felt better!
3) ask for money up front when he says "I'll take care of you". Tell him that it isnt that you dont trust him...but you were just yesterday(he doesnt know how long ago it was) screwed by a guy who said the same thing and you got in trouble with management for sitting with someone so long without making money off him, and told not to do it again.He doesnt know whether you really got in trouble or not...its just a good excuse.
4) tell anyone who tells you anything neg. about your body to go fuck themselves. THEY arent having strangers hand them money because of THEIR looks are they? You are..therefore you must look pretty damn good!!Call the guy who hired you and tell him what was said so he can tell this guy to leave you alone next time. I did it once myself..told the head manager that I was told to watch my weight and said that if he had a problem with me I would appreciate him telling me himself. He said he had NO problem and repremanded(sp?) the other manager. I felt better.
Re: In A Funk I Can't Seem To Pull Myself Out Of (Longish Rant)
Good advice Cameronfl. I'm starting dancing in about a week and this helped me, too - the teling guys when they do something rude - I'm going to keep that in mind so that when I leave work at night I will feel confident instead of trampled on. I hope your luck gets better Kittykat! Everyone has a little rut sometimes I think...just take a break if you can, and if not, then do something just for you to boost your confidence and make you feel special, because you are. And maybe that will help.
Re: In A Funk I Can't Seem To Pull Myself Out Of (Longish Rant)
Good advice. It's easy to out guys when they are being jerks.. usually they will check themselves and if not.. who cares. They know from them on that they can not walk all over some women and that they had best be on the lookout for us.
I've had that happen to me before to, the "I don't get dances" thing - then later you see old dude getting LD after LD from some other chick. Which is fine but geeze, don't insult my intelligence.
Thats like the motard that shows me his wedding band. WTF? Thats suppose to be some ward to keep me away? Phuulease.. I tell them straight up that they must not be that married. They are in here sitting and watching. Pfft.
Cha-Ching. Stupid tax. Next?
Re: In A Funk I Can't Seem To Pull Myself Out Of (Longish Rant)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crow
Thats like the motard that shows me his wedding band. WTF? Thats suppose to be some ward to keep me away? Phuulease.. I tell them straight up that they must not be that married. They are in here sitting and watching. Pfft.
LOL..I always grab their hand and look shocked,..."OH MY GOD...you're MARRIED??? Then what are you doing in here?? We NEVER get married guys in here....I didnt even think they were ALLOWED in strip clubs....You're going straight to hell for this you know"
Then I drop their hand, roll my eyes, and walk away.
Re: In A Funk I Can't Seem To Pull Myself Out Of (Longish Rant)
The hard thing about being new to the biz is that when a customer says things like "I'm going tip you big" or "I'll going to get some lap dances from you, but I'm not ready yet" is a sure sign that he is trying to string you along.
The best way to deal with those types is to say something like, "Wow, I'd love nothing more than to just sit and chat, but I need to get back to work. If you want to dance right now, I'm available, but I can't guarentee that I can get back to you. I'm very popular and stay very busy.";)
I'm sorry you had a couple of rough shifts. And the manager that was saying something about your body, just forget it. It could have been anything that prompted him to make such a comment, but most likely he is just a dick. It's not like club management is of high quality in strip clubs.
Keep your chin up, don't let the mistakes of the past make your future bleak. Learn and move on with your new found knowlegde.
Now, go kick ass and take names;D!!
Re: In A Funk I Can't Seem To Pull Myself Out Of (Longish Rant)
What everyone else said - great advice, y'all. I'd also add to it by asking this: Since you've been dancing for 6 months, have you taken any time off? That might be a good thing. I'm not talking about some extravagant vacation or anything expensive, even, just maybe a long weekend with lots of massages and movies and yummy foods, that kind of thing. Hope you feel better!
I do have to comment on this specifically:
Quote:
Originally Posted by KittyKat07
Then yesterday, I sat with a guy who had the manager pull me offstage. It seemed promising. Then when the time came where I asked him if he wanted dances or to compensate me for my time with him, he said no. The reason why he wasn't going to spend money on me was because he wanted to date me outside of the club. Giving me money would objectify me in his eyes but yet if he were to give me money outside of the club, wouldn't that be objectifing me too? I explained to him that this was my business and that I was here to work. He refused to listen. I left work last night in a slump too.
What an utter load of crap! I cannot fucking believe this. It's bad enough when someone you're just trying to chat up on the floor moves into the insistent-on-dating-mode (which of course connects to the but-it-would-cheapen-our-connection-if-I-let-you-do-your-job mode), but to actually go so far as to PULL YOU OFFSTAGE for this bullshit? I can understand developing feelings for a dancer over time, as we are human beings after all, but seriously - based on their actions, these particular guys actually seem to believe that the club is a new dating service model where lonely (but somehow incredibly hot) women dress up like circus hookers and dance around naked onstage simply because they're desperate for a BOYFRIEND. What freaking Twilight Zone episode am I in, here, anyway?
I'm sorry that happened to you, hon. This pulling you offstage thing had better not become a trend.
Re: In A Funk I Can't Seem To Pull Myself Out Of (Longish Rant)
I think my (very gorgeous and toned) friend worked for a short period of time at that same club you are talking about. I don't remember the name of it, but she said the same thing about a manager there and she also said it was supposedly hard to get hired there. He just sounds like an asshole and you probably don't need to do a damn thing to your body. He probably has one of those retarded God complex power trip things going on. I fucking DARE any manager to say that to me. I would absolutely ruin his whole night in return. }:D I've said really horrible things to managers before and walked out just for them raising their voice to me. Bottom line, we are there to make money, entertain the customers and make the club money. If the owner chooses to employ an asshole who thinks of himself as some sort of pimp, I'm GONE. Those guys just make my job difficult and I try to weed out as much resistance toward my goal as possible.
You can avoid some things you mentioned in the future. Never sit for too long, unless they are periodically handing you $20 bills for your conversation. A REAL customer will show his appreciation and compensation up front, during and after your time together, from my experience. And the only time they haven't is when I have actually sat and enjoyed their conversation for a while without asking for anything. Sometimes you just can't take the chance that they will give you money, so keep your momentum going.
Also, those gropy touchy feely guys are either going to be a real pain in the ass to dance for, or they are just trying to cop a feel for free. AVOID THEM! They are lame and they don't respect you.
With all that said, take time outside of work to relax and cleanse yourself of all negativity. What has really helped me lately is to do things for other people that I love and care about. I buy little cards and send them to my friends and relatives, help my roommate with chores, even spend an extra long time snuggling with my cats and giving them attention. Call an old friend and ask them all about their life. Connect with the outside world. When you do things for others and they appreciate it, it makes you feel good right? It's really powerful stuff.
The other thing that has helped to bring me out of a recent funk is to eat really good meals before I head into the "office". Steak and mashed potatoes, salmon, calimari, Roscoe's chicken & waffles....hehe....all these things make me feel nourished and healthy and ready to take on the world. A good diet can do wonders for your mental state.
I hope all of this helps! Don't let those mofos get you down. You're still kind of new, and soon all of that crap will become second hand news. You'll learn over time to recognize the signs and avoid drama. It never completely goes away, but KEEP POSITIVE and the money will come to you.
Re: In A Funk I Can't Seem To Pull Myself Out Of (Longish Rant)
something that might help too is doing a search on here for "sign that guys aren't going to spend money". It's very interested thread and I think very helpful for someone starting out.
And it happens to all of us. The job is always a learning job, you can be dancing for 10 years and there will be something else to learn. Some things you'll get right away, and somethings take longer, and it will be different for each person.
Also, now that you are slowly starting to not be a newbie, this is time that you should be honing in on your hustling skills. The first while that everyone starts dancing, they have a newbie glow, just something about them that makes guys get dances. This, obviously fades, and it becomes your hustling that keep you going. I think most dancers probably see a drop in their earnings after the 6 month or year mark.
Re: In A Funk I Can't Seem To Pull Myself Out Of (Longish Rant)
Before I went into my shift last night, I bought myself a new outfit for work, new makeup and listened to parts of the Naked Assets Home Study Course. I don't know exactly what it was or maybe it was a combination of everything, but I had a really good night at work. Hour and a half champagne room, back to back with two different parties. I made well over my nightly goal.
And another good thing? Every guy that spent money on me last night couldn't stop complimenting my body. I even had to turn guys away because I had so many admirers. What a nice change!
I hope it's safe to say that my funk is now behind me and that my hustle is back. Thanks for all of the GOOD advice ladies. This site has proven itself to be invaluable over and over again. :)
Re: In A Funk I Can't Seem To Pull Myself Out Of (Longish Rant)
Kitty Kat, keep in mind that you are working in a highly competitve market. Club managers are more nitpicky about a girls body in that kind of setting than in a more laid back environment. Every stripper is expendable in that kind of environment compared to a smaller more personal club setting.
And in a highly competitve strip club market, you will find a lot of customers who will be cocky as there are soooo many dancers to choose from. Sometimes that gives cocky guys more of a chance to treat girls like shit.
You will have some good customers too who treat you well and spend generously, but that won't happen every time you work. Just expect the highs and lows. You are in sales and you have hundreds of other girls trying to have a good shift along with you.
You are going to have some managers who like skinny girls and some who like girls a little fuller figured. I have been told I need to lose some weight in clubs before, and other clubs have been fine with me as I am.
All in all though, in the type of clubs you are working in, you need to close the sale quicker. Use the techniques DW taught you, and within one song (less in some Vegas clubs) you need to use the assumptive close to get your dances. (3 for 100 sounds like Spearmint Rhino).
Sitting with a customer who "says" he will take care of you is not a good thing to do in those super high volume transient clubs, where you don't know the customer and have a spending history with him. You want to get him to buy several "good faith" dances up front. Some of the guys who are "decent" and just want company will compensate you up front.
Vegas is like that. You can have several days/nights where you barely make your payout back or even lose your payout, and then have an $800 shift the next time you work.
Several girls told me when I worked there not to look at what you make per day, but look at the total weeks earnings after tip outs.