Two-faced "friend" tried to get me fired--Need advice (long)
I am a person who just goes to work to make money and then leaves. I am almost always on friendly terms with the other girls, and enjoy chatting with them when it is slow, but I rarely take the friendships outside the club. When I do, it usually involves sharing a ride somewhere. I try to stay out of locker room drama as much as possible. (I do take some breaks back there b/c I work very long shifts.) I don't talk bad about the other girls, in fact I really believe that if you can't say something reasonably nice, then you should not say any thing at all.
In spite of my efforts to stay completely neutral, somebody is gunning to get me fired. THere is a little back story, so here it is.
There is a girl who has worked at the same club almost as long as I have (about 2 years) whose name is Mari. (I'm not changing names b/c I doubt anyone from my club will read this.) Mari is always hanging out with the boss and his friends, sitting on his lap, and generally kissing up to him. SHe had a role in getting the psycho-bitch Angie fired a couple of weeks ago. Mari has a close out-of-club friend who also works with us, whose name is Audry.
I have alwys considered Mari one of my better friends at the club, and even stood up for her once or twice. I went out for a couple drinks with her and Audry one time a few weeks ago. THa is the extent of my "friendship" with her.
THere are two regular customers in the bar, Jon and Eddie. They are close friends with each other and also work together. THey have some money to blow, unlike many of our customers, who are in construction and other blue-collar jobs. Jon has his favorite 4-5 dancers, of which I am one. I am pretty sure I am THE favorite of the bunch, but who knows. He has been my semi-reg for well over a year. Eddie falls in love with a different girl every couple of months, spends loads of cash on her, and moves on. I usually am friendly to Eddie b/c he comes in with Jon, and I frequently have a dance or two with him, but I have never been THE girl. Eddie is a little bit volatile, moody, and unpredictable. He hs started at least one fight, which Jon and the bouncer had to break up. He is a like that in his work life, too, according to Jon.
Mari has been acting very strange lately. She has been fighting with her "best" friend Audry, accusing Audry of getting drunk, wanting to leave early, and so on. Audry says the same things about Mari, and basically each one says the other is messing with her money and is selfish in wanting to leave early/stay late, etc. (They used to share a ride) Because I am on good trms with both of them, I get to hear the bitching from both sides. Lucky me.
A week ago Thursday, Jon and Eddie came into the club. I talked to both of them, had a bunch of dances w/ Jon, a couple with Eddie, totally normal. While I was talking to Eddie and giving him a shoulder rub (I do a lot of those, and I am the acknowledged "massuse" in the bar) Mari comes up and plops herself down in a chair. She starts yelling at Eddie, that she was calling him all day on his cell phone, and he didn't answer. He replied that he had asked her to call him at work, b/c he does not carry his cell phone when he is at his desk all day. Mari jsut continued to holler at him, and told him she expeced to have every dance with him b/c he had promised. Eddie replied that he felt like playing the field that night, but he would definietly have a couple of dances with her. Mari replied that she never wanted to have another dance with him, and flounced off.
Later that night, Audry was in the dressing room crying that Mari was trying get her fired. SHe got dressed and left, saying she was going to go get a job bartending. The next time I worked, Mari and Audry came in together, nd I figured that whatever had been wrong with Mari was over. However, Mari was not very friendly to me. I really didn't think much of it at the time.
So here comes the real drama. Thursday when I got to work, I was told that I was going to be suspended, along with another girl, Marion. Why? Because Eddie came in late wednesday night after I had left. He told the bartender that he and Jon would no longer be coming to the bar b/c Marion and I had been calling Jon's cell phone all night, yelling at him for dancing with other girls, etc. (Now, doesn't that sound familiar?) Well, that is absolutely ridiculous. It is obviously a lie, and somebody must have put him up to it.
I didn't get the whole story right away, though, and as I was asking around to see if anybody knew waht was going on (discretely, of course!) I kept hearing snippets of conversations I had had with Jon in the bar repeated as things that I supposedly said on his phone. Mostly what I heard were teasing things about him dancing with other girls, that had been twisted to sound like pettiness and jealousy. I do tease him about developing a harem, etc., but we both laugh about it.
So the way it ended up, was, one of the bartenders (who is also the owner's sister) called me to tell me what had happened and ask me about it. Now to be honest, I am not a person who would ever call a customer outside of work except in the rearest of instances, and the bartender knows that. It is jsut not the kind of thing I would do. So I was believed, and everything was dropped.
Mari came in later that night (her scheduled night off) in street clothes, hung around a bit, talked to the owner a few times. I cornered her in the dressing room and told her, "somebody has been spreading lies about me, trying to get me fired." She replied that it was happening to her, too, and she knew the whole story. I found out later that she was NOT one of the people accused, only Marion and me.
MArion and one of the barenders have told me they really believe Mari is the one who put Eddie up to coming into the bar that night, but we have no proof. Marion and I are both over 35, and both attractive size 12's. Marion says she heard Mari telling the boss he should get rid of all the "old fat girls" (Need I mentin that Mari is a size 0 and that the boss himself has a strong preference for skinny chicks?). Now, Marion and I are not the oldest girls in the bar, nor are we the heaviest, but we ARE two of the most popular. Marion is a little dirty (the covered reach-around is becoming increasingly popular in my bar) but what can I say? She has a lot of regs and she earns them, in her way. She has also been there 11 years, off and on. I sell, sell, sell, and that is how I make mine.
I have been upset about this all weekend. Why in hell would anybody want to see me lose my job? I mean, I can honestly say, I never did anything to anyone involved here.
My big dilema is, I have to go back to work tomorrow, and I will porbably see this fake friend. I will want to deck her, but that really will get me fired. She will probaly want to talk to me and act like nothing happened (and borrow things). I think I am just going to say to her, very quietly and firmly, "I know what you tried to do to me, and I no longer want anything to do with you." I know I can't pretend nothing is wrong, and I really don't want to. I also want a quiet way to call her out, let her know I know what happened.
The other part of my dilema is, how do I protect my job? What if she (of if by some fluke it was NOT her, but somebody I haven't thought of) cooks up some other scheme? I am very happy in my little bar, and I do not even want to think about going elsewhere. I rely heavily on my regs anyway, and starting over would be extremely difficult.
Any advice, ladies?
Re: Two-faced "friend" tried to get me fired--Need advice (long)
How old is Mari? At my club, the older ones are favored in a way depending on how much they work and how long they been there, etc. I would stay clear, I KNOW ITS HARD NOT TO OPEN YOUR MOUTH and let the bitch know shes fucking up-- I've had a lot of girls talk shit-- but just be the bigger person and say fuck it, she aint worth my time. Acting like you don't give a shit about what she says may piss her off even more.
When it comes to mgmt, simply explain the situation. Tell them you are upset and hurt becuase you try to be nice to everyone and don't understand why someone would make a malicious rumor like that. Tell them you wouldn't harass a customer, even if he was dancing with other girls because you're not some "insane" type of girl and also don't want to lose out on money. If you can, see if you can get the other girls who know the situation to back you up. (the bartender and the other friend) -- usually when girls complain in #'s it shows that either the person is lying or just plain wrong
I hope that helps, don't let the haters get you down ::)
Re: Two-faced "friend" tried to get me fired--Need advice (long)
Dam what an evil little bitch.I bet Your regular guy didnt come in there.Mari probably said that shit and said for the bartender/bosses not to say who said it.I say you have a talk w/ the guys to find out what really happened.My bet is Mari called them and bitched john out and told him not to come back and all that and she blamed it on you OR she manipulated the whole thing because she was jealous you were sitting there giving him a back rub when she bitched hime out.I hate little bitches like this.Every club has the suck ass little bitch that goes for the owner or manager and gets manipulative and gets other dancers fired because they think they control the show since they are fucking management.
Re: Two-faced "friend" tried to get me fired--Need advice (long)
Kinda makes ya pine for the "Get off my lap, bitch! You are here to make me money! Now get out of my office!" kind of managers eh?
Re: Two-faced "friend" tried to get me fired--Need advice (long)
I wouldn't say anything directly to the girl, I would just flat out ignore her, like pretend she's really not there. If she says something to you, I wouldn't even slightly acknowledge that's she's even there, pretend she's a ghost and that you can't see her or hear her. People really really hate being ignored like that and that would just make things better for you to just avoid her. Saying something to her only will make things worse. I would also have a talk with the managers and explain everything on your side of the story. I'm sure once you explain things and that they hear that you are being mature about things, they won't listen to that little tramp. No matter what happens, just ignore the little whore!
Re: Two-faced "friend" tried to get me fired--Need advice (long)
I'm surprised that a regular couldn't differentiate your voice from the imposter's. What a fuckign bitch. She'll get hers someday, whether she gets an abusive stripper boyfriend, or if she gets addicted to coke, or gets pregnant and doesn't keep her figure.
Re: Two-faced "friend" tried to get me fired--Need advice (long)
Maybe Jon will step in. Would he want to stop having dances with you because Eddie complained? I think I'd cut Jon off until someone produces an apology. I know that he is a customer and you are a dancer but there is a sort of trust and friendship that goes into the relationship. He allowed it to be violated by Eddie and a dumbass jealous dancer.
Anyway, it sounds like whoever put Eddie up to it has lost credibility in the eyes of the owner's sister.
Re: Two-faced "friend" tried to get me fired--Need advice (long)
I sympathise! I too used to love going to work and not getting into the drama, then I got "promoted" lol
I personally would ignore her. Dont talk shit about her to anyone. If the manager DOES want to fire you he would have to talk to you right? When you can calmly explain that you have no idea what all this is about.
Good luck!
Re: Two-faced "friend" tried to get me fired--Need advice (long)
What I really think, although I am probably wrong, is that Mari and probably her friend Audry cooked up this story and put Eddie up to coming in. I believe the bartender who told me Eddie came to the bar. She has no reason to lie about it, and I have always been cool with her. In fact, she is the boss' sisiter whom I spoke to, who ultimately smoothed things over with the boss. I doubt anybody said anything to Jon at all. Management apparently believes me, because I still have my job.
My husband has an alternate theory, which is, ther two silly little drunk bitches were playing with a phone one night, and when questioed about who they were, gave the first two names that popped into thier heads. Then Eddie came into the bar on his own to complain. They really are silly little drunk bitches, too, so that is not completely implausable.
I like the idea of not saying anything at all to her. She would still know I knew or at least suspected what is going on, but whould not Have any ammo to start any type of fight with me. She can jsut do a SSSSLLLLLOOOOOWWWWW burn. And continue to wonder when I am going to sugar her gas tank, or whatever else she might imagine I would do for revenge.
And she likes to be in that happy-chatty-place with everybody at work. This will drive her mad....
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!
Re: Two-faced "friend" tried to get me fired--Need advice (long)
I think all you can do is alert management to what you think has been going on and get people (like the bartender) on your side. Your attitude and behavior in the club should speak for itself so if lots of people like you and see how you behave then they won't believe her if she starts to cause problems.
Re: Two-faced "friend" tried to get me fired--Need advice (long)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deogol
Kinda makes ya pine for the "Get off my lap, bitch! You are here to make me money! Now get out of my office!" kind of managers eh?
I guess by now I've worked with around 100 managers and I have NEVER met on like that. Where are these managers???
I agree with leogirl; I would ignore her and the other girls too. Since you aren't totally sure who it was. Still be polite to the others since it seems like it was this one chick, but I would completely and totally ignore this Mari chic.
It may or may not be a good idea to speak with mgmt. If you are on good terms with them, then by all means, go in and explain your side of the story. That you are worried about losing your job because of rumors and that you have not done the things people are saying. DO NOT name any names, just say you've heard from several people that blah blah blah, and that it is untrue, and emphasize that you like working there, like your regs* , etc. (I say mention the regs as a way of hinting that you might take some business with you if you leave.)
Re: Two-faced "friend" tried to get me fired--Need advice (long)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridgette
I guess by now I've worked with around 100 managers and I have NEVER met on like that. Where are these managers???
Lol, no kidding. And I also can't recall ever sitting on one of their laps. Maybe that's just me though. ;D