Is Exotic Dancing for me?
For some reason or other, I have trouble keeping a job for most jobs. Its not because of my personality, I have had many people say something like "You're a really nice person and I regret having to do this, but I have to let you go." and etc etc. Most of the time, its because I just "am not up to their quality of work" or "am not working fast enough" or whatever. I'm staying with my parents now, and I am going abroad to do some volunteer/internship work (I am paying for it, so they cant really fire me) but in January, I will be out on my own and I will have to survive on my own. I have tried everything to try to keep a job- I'm on meds for ADHD and antidepressants, etc... but still, my work is always not fast enough or not good enough, somehow. I dont get it, but in the meantime I need a job...
so I am thinking, maybe exotic dancing? So I have some questions about it:
First, how does it impact future jobs, reputation and etc? I dont want to do it and then have trouble getting a more regular or tradional job because stripping is a profession that society looks down on.
Second, I have heard/read that people have a lot of body confidence issues after working in the industry for a short time, and also that if your the kind of person who has low self esteem, you shouldnt do this. Well, because I keep trying and failing at normal day jobs (and at certain years in my school education...) I dont have a lot of confidence in the regular, performance stuff. But I do have a good amount of confidence in my body.... probably an unusual amount for a girl. I dont think I have ever had anyone say anything bad about my body except that I don't have a washboard stomach- which is easy to get with lots of sit-ups. And I dont mind if someone says to me I'm fat, in fact I find it helpful b/c then I know to just excersise more or whatever. Its good feedback. Also I feel really comfartable on stage, acting, etc. As long as I am acting as someone else, I can do whatever. Despite all this, do you guys think I have the right kind of self esteem for this industry?
Also, how safe is the industry? I'm not interested in drugs or anything either, I just need a way to make a living until I can get more job specific education that will lead to a job that is beyound entry level (and therefore harder to get fired from). So is it safe if your smart? Are the people you work with nice, or bitchy and disrespectful?
Also, if I am not the best dancer (i.e. I can't dance to the beat well, but since I can clap to the beat I probably can learn how to dance to it) do you think this is a problem?
Do I need to go to some kind of "school" or order videos or whatever, or can I just get on the job training?
Are lesbians better, worse or neutral at exotic dancing, overall?
How difficult is it to keep this kind of a job a secret if you are living alone- from friends, family, and future potential employers or etc?
Should I or would I make a good dancer?
Please help!
-Kittty
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
well, no ones answered at all.
maybe I should just consign myself to being homeless and living on the street.
-Kittty
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
I think you'll be fine as long as you keep in mind that THIS IS STILL A JOB. Some girls tend to forget this since you have money in hand and most of the time no set schedules. This can also make you lazy, and it makes it tougher to actually save money because you always think "Oh, I can make it back tomorrow". Don't do that; tomorrow, or the next couple tomorrows could be slow as hell and you won't have the money then. Save, save, save!
As for other jobs, if you can think of a good alibi for the time you were dancing (in school helps), do that. You could also say you were an independent performer, or you could have the club manager write a note saying you cocktailed in the club if he's particularly nice. Look in the Dollar Den section especially. Lots of information on resume gaps caused by stripping, saving, etc. And Hustle Hut to make the most of the game.
Good luck!
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kittty
well, no ones answered at all.
maybe I should just consign myself to being homeless and living on the street.
-Kittty
Sometimes we're slow :P
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
For the most part this a job you learn on the job. If you want honest opiones on if you should dance you should post pics i find this site to be honest when people post pics.
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
Okay I started off like you... everytime I got a job I loved I just seemed to lose it for one reason or another. I have confidence issues, but I had a lot more then what I do now when I started... dancing has actually helped me become confident.
As for future jobs.. I know girls who are dancing and going to law school, cant be that bad right? If your really worried just dance at a club that doesnt require you to have a license to dance.
You do not need to go to a school to learn, just watch and learn from the other girls.
I can not dance if my life depended on it... but I like to think I give a damn good stage show. Its just a matter of matching your moves to the music, ie a faster move at a faster beat, a slower more sensual move at a slower beat.
Lesbians? You can be straight, bi or lesbian it doesnt matter. There is a girl for every guy ;)
The industry is as safe as you make it. Try to work at clubs that have good security, make sure you have a safe way home at night be it driving yourself(as long as you dont drink) taking a cab or a driver with the club. Do NOT give out personal information to any customer or girl you work with. You have a different identity for work.. a different name, a different story etc then what you are outside of work. Hell I have a different story for every club 8) Its kind of fun to play make believe.
If you have any other questions feel free to pm me and i'll do my best to help you out.
Good luck and welcome to SW :)
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
Wow. Kitty, im in the same exact boat!
Read mine and some of my responses on "The world keeps pushing me here". After reading all the support and advice i've actually purchased my first pair of shoes. Its funny cause as soon as i put them on i felt a sense of relief come over me. Now im practicing moving in them (harder then they look) and i have an interview for a club as a waitress. Its a good start before i jump in.
But anyway, Good luck! Let me know what happens! Your not alone!
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
i'm studying law and my boss at my day job knows what i do for night work. i figure if people don't like what i do then they should just not talk to me about it!! the only person who i have not and will not tell is my dad, because even at 27 years old i am still his baby girl.
i have more confidence than i used to and i had a terrible body image of myself. just don't get sucked in, its acting and on the whole fun. enjoy yourself and the money you make, thats what counts.
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
1. Do a search. Most of your questions have been asked a million times before you
2. check out
3. as far as privacy is concerned, if you don't want friends and family to know, work in a nearby town if possible. If you don't want future employers to know, ask the club what thier policies and procedures are concerning this. Some clubs have "respectable" aliases for thier business. For instance, all of the paperwork generated from my club, from bar tabs and ATM reciepts to tax forms and pay stubs, reads "Bavaria Inn". Managers tell prospective employers calling in for application verification that we're servers.
4. Forget about how well you dance. That's the easiest and least important aspect of our job. Read a book about selling and study the Hustle Hut boards.
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
I guess another reason why I am interested is that the women are really hot. Heh, I think I can act like I like guys though, even though I don't. One time I seriously wanted to go to a nearby strip club (as a customer). Just to see what it was like and such because I've never been to such a place. Is it true that they dont let single women into strip clubs? I mean, what if they're lesbians and they're loaded with money?
I got shit from a very feminist friend about even voicing the idea of going just to see what its like, though. SHe went on and on about how its wrong and people who do it are desperate and blah blah. Do you guys feel like your desperate? Sometimes I do.
Also, I guess it's bad form to go out with a co-worker then? (Assuming shes also a lesbian)
Kittty
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
P.S.
Mia your hot.
Kittty
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
Someone that you don't want to find out, will find out. I'm just saying this out of the kindness of my heart. I've been working in and around strip joints since 1980, you can take that for what it's worth.
Stripping is maybe slightly safer than working in most other kinds of bars, generally speaking. But working in bars (unless it's a no-alcohol club) means dealing with drinkers and drunks and the occasional drug user, so it's not the very safest, although it's also not as dangerous as some folks believe. You could work for years without a scary incident. That's a vague answer, because it also depends on the particular place.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kittty
For some reason or other, I have trouble keeping a job for most jobs. Its not because of my personality, I have had many people say something like "You're a really nice person and I regret having to do this, but I have to let you go." and etc etc. Most of the time, its because I just "am not up to their quality of work" or "am not working fast enough" or whatever. I'm staying with my parents now, and I am going abroad to do some volunteer/internship work (I am paying for it, so they cant really fire me) but in January, I will be out on my own and I will have to survive on my own. I have tried everything to try to keep a job- I'm on meds for ADHD and antidepressants, etc... but still, my work is always not fast enough or not good enough, somehow. I dont get it, but in the meantime I need a job...
so I am thinking, maybe exotic dancing? So I have some questions about it:
First, how does it impact future jobs, reputation and etc? I dont want to do it and then have trouble getting a more regular or tradional job because stripping is a profession that society looks down on.
Second, I have heard/read that people have a lot of body confidence issues after working in the industry for a short time, and also that if your the kind of person who has low self esteem, you shouldnt do this. Well, because I keep trying and failing at normal day jobs (and at certain years in my school education...) I dont have a lot of confidence in the regular, performance stuff. But I do have a good amount of confidence in my body.... probably an unusual amount for a girl. I dont think I have ever had anyone say anything bad about my body except that I don't have a washboard stomach- which is easy to get with lots of sit-ups. And I dont mind if someone says to me I'm fat, in fact I find it helpful b/c then I know to just excersise more or whatever. Its good feedback. Also I feel really comfartable on stage, acting, etc. As long as I am acting as someone else, I can do whatever. Despite all this, do you guys think I have the right kind of self esteem for this industry?
Also, how safe is the industry? I'm not interested in drugs or anything either, I just need a way to make a living until I can get more job specific education that will lead to a job that is beyound entry level (and therefore harder to get fired from). So is it safe if your smart? Are the people you work with nice, or bitchy and disrespectful?
Also, if I am not the best dancer (i.e. I can't dance to the beat well, but since I can clap to the beat I probably can learn how to dance to it) do you think this is a problem?
Do I need to go to some kind of "school" or order videos or whatever, or can I just get on the job training?
Are lesbians better, worse or neutral at exotic dancing, overall?
How difficult is it to keep this kind of a job a secret if you are living alone- from friends, family, and future potential employers or etc?
Should I or would I make a good dancer?
Please help!
-Kittty
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kittty
P.S.
Mia your hot.
Kittty
Awww, thanks! I need that today! ;D
Women being allowed into the club without a male escort is dependent upon the club. The best way to find out if it's cool for you to go alone or with a group of gals is by calling the club.
On the issue of safety, that depends on the club, too. I always ask if the club has a valet or parking lot monitor of some kind who will keep people from loitering in the parking area and if female staff is escorted to thier car. On my end of trying to keep myself safe, I take alternate routes home, keep a good eye on my rearview mirror, carry pepper spray, and live with two big dogs.
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mia M
1. Do a search. Most of your questions have been asked a million times before you
2. check out
.
Actually there was a thread awhile ago that ripped apart stripper-faq. I wouldnt recomend that site to a newbie because 99% of the shit on there is BS. Sorry Mia I know you were just trying to help but really the stuff on there isnt that great.
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
Oooh, Cally, which thread?? :D
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
Oh god I cant even remember the name of it... gimme a bit and I will try and find it.
Here it is...
Paige said it well.... as did Emily.
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
Most postings on the thread regarding stripper-faq said that there was good info on there but didn't agree with all of it, mostly issues with "safety". Although I don't agree with all the information given on there, I don't think that 99% of it is useless...
She makes very good points about how the job is way more than just looking pretty and getting naked, keeping yourself busy, and making small talk with custies.
The only parts I think is bs is the asymetrical hem bit and the retiring at 28... It was really helpful for me when I first started, I think it's got a lot of great information and I'll continue to recommend it to newbies.
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
You're not ready for dancing unless you realize that it's a sales job. It's not like in the movies where you make two grand just for showing your boobs. You have to pitch a sale to customers, give them an overall experience. Work on having a charming approach. The first couple of nights you might want to have something to drink to get relaxed. As for the dancing the slower the better. Everything else is nothing to worry about.
Re: Is Exotic Dancing for me?
You need to be self-motivated to make money. Like someone else said, it's sales. Rarely are the customers going to come up and ask you for dances all night. You have to go out and yeah, pretend you like them. Ha, I don't think your sexual orientation matters. It's all acting. I'm straight but I can tell you I don't get turned on or very interested by my customers. Like once in a while I meet a guy who's decent, but I think of that as more along the lines of "phew, you'll be easier to dance for, what with the basic hygeine intact and all".
But yeah, it's no magic bullet. I've seen a lot of girls start and not be able to break $200 or even $100 on some shifts, and then quit out of frustration. I did pretty decent from the get-go, but I've always made an effort to go and talk guys into getting a dance, as best I can. Also, it took a little while when I started to get the 'look' downpat. In the beginning many guys I spoke to would openly admire other girls and ignore me, but I could get 'sympathy' dances out of them anyway. You really have to leave the ego at home. Remember the job is all about humiliation of a kind- buttering up jerks and what not.