My close family member became a crack addict. My immediate family and I are planning a family intervention right now with just us (not a professional as of yet.) Any suggestions, advice?
Printable View
My close family member became a crack addict. My immediate family and I are planning a family intervention right now with just us (not a professional as of yet.) Any suggestions, advice?
Were pretty sure it's crack,,,so any advice with people who have had family members on this drug as well?
My sisters ex is a crackhead,they have a son together. She tried to stay with him and help him get off it,nothing worked though. She left him years ago, after having to deal with him constantly stealing stuff from the house,never working, really shitty mental and physical abuse. He is homeless now..unless he is in jail. He sees his son only a couple times a year and they live in the same city. Good luck. I feel sad that your family has to go through that. I have no advice to help you,nothing worked for him.
my partner and i were on meth all last year. we woke ourselves up, and quit cold turkey.
going from smoking it daily (ie not getitng out of bed unless we had some) to nothing was hard... mood swings and bad sleeps followed. it took at leats 6months for me to feel like the old me again.
expect to be there for support for a long time to come. its not easy seeing someoen fuck themselves over with it, but its not easy watching someone come off it either.
I strongly suggest that you DO NOT do an intervention without seeking some sort of outside help. Either get a therapist/ interventionist that is trained in this, or try to find some help through NA CA or AA to talk to him.
What are you going to do once you intervene? Are you prepared finanically to send him to rehab for as long as it takes?
Interventions can be sucessful in some instances, but it doesn't guarantee he will see the light. There is a greater probability that it will blow up in your face.
As a person who has been in and around recovery, I can tell you from my own experience that you can't force someone to get help. They might go to rehab, but it takes a willingess within themselves to change.
That's why it's so important that you approach any sort of confrontation of this person with caution and preparation. You might consider getting help for yourselves in how to deal with this person. This is what groups such as Al-Anon and Nar-non were created for- the family members.
This is difficult, I'm contending with a drug-addicted family member as well but not to this severity. Your family is in my thoughts. Good luck.
Yeah I feel you...
The good thing about crack is they are less likely to die suddenly than on heroin.
My advice, let them face every bad consequence. Lost job, jail, no money, homeless, robbing people, getting their ass kicked. These instances help to change addicts, not helping them when they fall.
If they are open to an intervention, cool. But if you've already let them know you think there is a problem and that you care and they are still not changing, than most likely bad consequences like jail are your best hope.
Hang in there, let them know you care every chance you get.
Thanks all, yea i have been letting her know alot that i know about her problem and that i love her. So has my aunt, so we figured maybe us two together could talk to her and do something.I did not think the problem was as bad as it is,,,it seemed like she did it just once in a while and now i can see there is more to it. Her house is filthy, all her sudden "new friends" are always sitting in the filth house with her, she is losing her house to forclosure,,,and not paying many bills. Her waist is so small too than before, it is very sad. I was in denial for a long time i think, and it still does not feel real. I always thought in this situation that i would be more distraught....bc i am quite an emotional person...but for some reason i am just "numb" to it and sad inside. It's a weird feeling considering i am an extrovert. It is so hard for me to do the tough love thing, we were so close she has done so much for me and no she is just so distant. Sometimes i feel like she looks better and is ok, and other times it's like whoa....and this always causes me to think i am over reacting about the severity of the problem...is this common. She had financial problems with the house before the drug problem seemed to get worse(which is why i think she got into it from depression) plus she was always messy....so these problems were made more severe from drug use but not necessarily the main effect of the drug use....ah i dunno.
And mermaid that is so great that you turned your life around, gives me some hope for her, thank you
^ She needs to hear it from you that there is always a chance to turn her life around, and WHEN SHE DECIDES TO GET HELP, you will be there to support her. I wrote that part in all caps because like someone else said before, enabling her to keep on this path will only do her harm in the long run.
It's hard to see "tough-love" as a loving way to treat someone. But I think it's actually pretty selfish for a person to take care of an addict financially and give them a safe haven rather than let them hit bottom.
Because of my history, I can't help but want to post a little more, so I apologize if I am seeming ovebearing here. There were so many people who supported me and loved me when I couldn't love myself and helped to save my life. There are many people out there who can help you and your loved one recover from this.
Here are some resources I found:
http://www.nar-anon.org/aboutnaranon.htm
This is a good article, and while based in Kansas City, I think the main website might have helpful links.
http://www2.kumc.edu/coa/Senior_Pres...ion_Family.htm
My brother is on meth and maybe a few other things. I havent been in contact with him for a few years but I know he is alive since our mother still talks to him. The whole family knows about it. I think is girlfriend had something to do with him being on it. Not saying its totally her fault but I feel she helped. I dont think my family can help him, maybe no one can. He went to treatment a few times already. He drinks a lot. Same with the girlfriend. I'm not going to try and force my brother into something I know wont work for him. I refuse to even try and find him and talk to him about it. He is very violent but he's always been violent, even as a little kid. He lives with the girlfriend and her 3 kids. They do the drugs in the house after screaming at the kids to go to thier rooms.
I've told welfare about her. The only reason I know all this, is I was visiting them once a few years back and witnessed them doing the drugs and screaming at the kids. I left immediately.
I wish your family luck and I hope things go better for you than it did for our family. There is nothing I can do for my brother.
Yea, i do not give her money she gets thats on her own. I bring her a meal once in a while though.I can not bear to not see her physically atleast once a week though which is why i bring a meal. I constantly let her know i am here for her. I can't bear to think that she can die or something and i did not even see her or tell her i love her because i have not seen her in a few months. Im looking at the sites, my aunt had actually been talking about the Nar-Anon earlier tonight.
Letting them learn some hard lessons on their own may hit your point home better than you could do just talking, but that carries a lotta risk too. My fam recently found out my aunt and her bf were deep into coke because they were robbed and assaulted when a deal went sour- these assholes beat him and my aunt half to death with golf clubs, we're just glad they weren't killed and now we know what she needs help with. Just sayin that, I think it's worth a shot before your loved one goes downhill enough to perhaps be caught in a spot like that. No guarantees it'll work but at least you tried.