^ That was appreciated :) ^
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^ That was appreciated :) ^
Thanks a ton, OP and everyone who replied so far. I've been wondering how I was doing, and it seems like I'm right in line with you all. Good to know
I'm not a normally outgoing person as far as conversations go, I don't clam up but I'm not a natural that can just talk about anything. I can tell you this though, if you want to get someone talking, have them talk about themselves. People love to talk about themselves and you should encourage it and base your conversations around it. Ask them what they like and what they do and what they think about something, whatever. Pick up on their lead or personality and just keep feeding them with your feigned interest. Nod your head every once in a while when they're talking, even slightly as that's a subliminal sign that you're interested. That's what I'd do anyway.
I prefer Tina's method for first contact.
"Hi, I'm Dani!"
"What brings you in tonight?" I ask, sitting next to him, flipping my hair, stretching out my legs, looking into his eyes. This is the "why are you here" question a lot of people want to avoid, but it works.
You base the conversation around him. You make sure that he knows you are interested in him, not his money (Ironic, I know). You ask if he's from around here. You ask what he likes about the club. Touch him somewhere: lean forward and touch him on the arm, talk low enough so he has a hard time hearing, and you end up speaking into his ear, but breathy, not shouting. I like to stretch out and rest my legs on his sometimes. It's a really casual move, and can get him really interested in you.
A lot of the rest of the stuff, sports, whatever, I don't get into up front. That's got nothing to do with getting him to buy a dance. Save it for later, when you've got him in the VIP and need to work on him to become a regular.
I wish there was a way to poll guys on how long they like to talk before deciding whether or not to get a dance....like, some guys seem to not really want to talk at all, while others like having a drink, chatting, etc. I wish I could take a survey!
I actually find the "what brings you in tonight" question a good qualifying one.. if he says "I'm just here for a beer" or "I'm just hanging out" then I'm not wasting my time talking to him. I need to know these kinds of things beforehand because of all the cheap asses.
This might sound silly, but I like to pretend I'm hosting a party. You've hosted a party before, right? You already know some of the people there, but word of the party got around and there are plenty of people you don't know. You don't have time to get into conversation with all of them, but you want to make sure everyone's enjoying himself, and you want everyone to know who owns the house.
So I'll hit the floor early in the evening, look around, and remind myself that this is MY HOUSE. It's silly, but that gives my confidence a boost and helps me get over the shy factor (I'm quite shy in real life). When I approach someone, I do it as though he were a guest at my party - not with a pat line, but I'll pass by and when he looks up and we make eye contact, I'll swing over with a grin and an introduction and some kind of relevant comment - like if we're at the bar and he has an unusually colored drink, I'll ask what it is, is it good, etc. We'll make a little chitchat about how much fun we're having for a moment or two, and if the conversation has room for an amusing sexy anecdote, I'll share it or get him to tell one. Once we're laughing and having a good time together, I suggest we head back for a little fun. If they say yes, awesome. If they say no, I do the party-hostess thing and say something like, "Okay, well you let me know when you're ready, okay?" They'll nod and I'll smile and move on with a wish for them to have fun, enjoy that drink, whatever.
Then I go greet another party guest and repeat all night. Just remember, it's your party.
Awesome thread :D Especially thank you Everyman and Yek. Conversation isn't really my strong point so this helped a bunch. The thought of thinking of something to say for small talk kind of makes my skin crawl.
where they're from
what their hobbies are
what they enjoy about the club
i try to avoid talking about kids/wives (obviously) but i'll bring up pets sometimes if the conversation leans that way. guys who love their dogs LOVE to talk about them.
Is it good or bad to ask them what turns them on?
-newbie girl
^ It really depends. If that question fits in with your whole persona (dirty girl) and you are not trying to sell yourself as classy glamorous pinup or innocent girl next door, maybe. In general though I think there are better things you could say, especially because you are bound to get some weird answers!
Don't ask them point blank "what turns you on." Turn the conversation around to it. If it hasn't come up yet and we're on our second or third lapdance, I'll playfully ask the guy what his kink is, in a conversational but flirty tone. He'll usually ask, "My kink?" I'll giggle and say yeah, everyone has one, so what's yours? Either they will tell you what they're into, or they'll say they're pretty vanilla and ask what yours is, which gives you the opportunity to tell many titillating anecdotes from your (possibly fictional) sex life. Keep dancing but stay very close and maintain eye contact while you have this conversation, and he's good for at least three more dances.
Just draw it out as long as you can, and don't bring it up too soon or it sounds like a line. Let him enjoy the dance for what it is first, and only bring it up when he starts to look like he might be getting towards done. That way you have an excuse for making chitchat, and it's appropriate and natural chitchat.
this is the best thread i've seen so far on sw!
i usually talk to guys for an hour, and then i don't want to offer a lapdance because i feel too familiar with them; or i say "hi. how are you? what do you do?", run completely out of things to say, sit there in awkward silence for a couple minutes, and then leave.
Sorry, I have absolutely no helpful input. Guys would have to pay me to shut up. :P